Sometimes i feel no really like me as a person.
Have you ever had the courage to ask them if they like you, or are you instead automatically assuming that they do not like you because most of the time your reading tells me that you do not like yourself? Or to be exact you do not like certain things about yourself. Surely there are other things about you that you DO like.
Now if wanting to improve yourself necessarily makes you a "bad" person (your word and not mine), then all of us on this forum are in a whole lot of trouble.
Some people who try to improve themselves act as though they are better than everyone else and constantly boast about their progress and achievements. You would never do anything like this, but such toxic people are real pains in the butt. Even narcissists and people who have an over developed superiority complex are not bad people.
When you try your best to change yourself in a positive manner but others around you are either unable or unwilling to do the same, it can make them uncomfortable and they may respond to their discomfort and embarrassment by avoiding you or attacking you either to your face or behind your back. It is not you who is the bad person, but it is them who are not dealing well with their bad feelings about their apparent inability to improve themselves and their lives.
Also when you try to improve yourself you do run the risk that if you are successful that some of your existing relationships will need to change or failing that be dissolved. But like most other things in life in order to do anything which is important to you (and self improvement is clearly very important to you), then there will always be associated risks involved.
If you are still using a physical body (and probably even more when you are no longer incarnated) and living in a world with other people then yes your actions and words do have some degree of impact or influence upon them, just as their words and actions have a reciprocal effect upon you. Each of us is a small but important part of the energy web of life, and we are constantly exchanging energy with each other. There is no way that you can simultaneously be fully alive and not part of this complex and dynamic web of energy exchanges.
So stop apologising for being alive and necessarily being a part of the same web of life as every other human being is. Frequently it is not your words or actions themselves which can have the most negative effects on other people, but rather it is when you say that you are going to do something, then do the complete opposite. One of the biggest stabilizers and adhesives in this energy web is your ability to trust that the other person means exactly what they say they will do is exactly what they will do.
Your reading sees that you have no other acceptable options than to accept that your words and actions could potentially affect whether or how much people want to interact with or relate to you, but much if not all of your assumptions that they are avoiding you because they do not like you as a person are false ones.
If you say that you want to improve, act as though you mean it but do not always make a big deal about it and purposely make people feel intimidated or as though they are and never will be as good a person as you are already (none of which you are guilty of), then these are their problems and not yours. If you always do what you know is right and treat others as you would like to be treated yourself if your roles were reversed, then that is all that any God worth our recognition and praise could reasonably expect of you.
The first small but absolutely vital step towards improving your relationships with the other important people in your life, but it will never guarantee that they will all like everything that you are doing but for their own reasons is to start liking yourself more because thank God you are no more perfect or without your mistakes, failures or common human weaknesses than they are. Never compromise your own moral or spiritual values or try being someone other than who you are to force a person to like you, as by doing this you will lose your true Self in the process (and they will probably still not like you any way).
Do I have to watch being too affectionate or I am too hot headed, too confident.
We all have to watch that we do not overdo any of our emotions (some degree of emotional control is essential to society working), but we do not have to repress or suffocate them to the extent that we are scared that showing any human feelings or emotions makes us permanently unlikeable or a "bad" person. Emotions are energy. Just try your best to use them responsibly to improve yourself, although this is always easier said than done.
I am really trying my best to improve myself but dunno if i am really doing it good
"Good" compared to what standard of measure, or other person? Stop comparing yourself to other people. You are comparing chalk with cheese. You simply do not know what else is going on in their life, which makes this comparison or using them as your measuring stick worse than useless.
Meditate on the following thought for this month, and see if this helps.
Just as a plant which is constantly dug up for the gardener to measure its progress often never reaches the surface, grows and reaches maturity, if you spend too much of your self improvement time attempting to quantify and self criticise your progress up until then, your soul will never fully germinate and bring forth its most beautiful flower, where everyone can benefit from and enjoy it.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT
and big thanks to all ur hard work. :smt003