Hello eye_of_tiger, I hope you are doing well.
Its been a few years since the last time you read for me and I was wondering if you could do a general reading for me. If possible, can you focus the reading on love and finances? Thanks in advance and I hope to hear from you soon.
General Reading Request
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eye_of_tiger
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Hi Frank,
If the reading is to be mainly about love or finances, then it cannot by definition be a general reading.
A general reading is where my inner source chooses the area(s) to focus upon.
Also a love reading is probably out of the question at the moment, unless of course you are currently in a reasonably steady face to face relationship, and have been in it for at least the last six consecutive weeks.
If that condition does not apply to you, a finance reading it will have to be.
Please let me know in your response to this message and in this thread if you are presently in such a relationship, and I will definitely ask about that as well as the finances.
Regards,
EoT
If the reading is to be mainly about love or finances, then it cannot by definition be a general reading.
A general reading is where my inner source chooses the area(s) to focus upon.
Also a love reading is probably out of the question at the moment, unless of course you are currently in a reasonably steady face to face relationship, and have been in it for at least the last six consecutive weeks.
If that condition does not apply to you, a finance reading it will have to be.
Please let me know in your response to this message and in this thread if you are presently in such a relationship, and I will definitely ask about that as well as the finances.
Regards,
EoT
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FrankU1982
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eye_of_tiger
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Frank,
Any relationship of eight months, whether it is currently stalled or not definitely qualifies you to receive a love/relationship reading. Although it should be mentioned for a matter of relevancy that your financial status must have a significant impact upon your ability to keep this relationship alive, because going out together on a regular basis can often become quite expensive. And if your financial resources are presently strained it cannot be doing much good for your self confidence, particularly if your partner is not very understanding of the reasons for you having to tighten your purse strings in order to keep your head above water, money wise.
And this interaction of or conflict between opposing factors (both yours and hers) is a common theme which runs throughout your reading. The reasons for your relationship having stagnated are neither simple (what's new) nor able to be considered in complete isolation from others. They include factors on both sides which were already present when you first met each other less than a year ago.
Both of you are it is felt carrying negative emotional baggage with you into this relationship from your past, and to make resolving your current problems that much more difficult than it might have otherwise been, your baggage and her baggage are building upon and reinforcing each other.
It is also felt that the there has been a communication breakdown between the two of you where both of you are constantly talking over each other and finishing each other's sentences, but neither of you is really listening to the other person, when it is so important to the future of your relationship that you do listen without interfering or prejudging the situation.
The reading tells me that there has been a communication breakdown, but it is rather short on details as to whether any of this is intentional, and more urgently whether the reading feels that this can be easily turned around during the period of the next six months thought to be covered by it.
In limbo does not necessarily mean that this stalemate is permanent, but it could increasingly mean that the longer that this wall of silence remains unchallenged. Neither of you appears willing to compromise or be the first person to say that you are sorry, made that much more difficult by you not knowing what you should be feeling sorry about. There is no shortage of confusion and conflicting needs underpinning your relationship being stuck, and little or none of it is ever going to be worked through if both of you wait for the other person to make the first move.
Why is it that she does not trust you as much as you should, or why is it that you do not trust her to always do what she feels is the right thing for her to do in both your best interests for the future of your relationship?
Trust acts like an adhesive or cement which has the potential to hold a relationship together when it is going through a rough patch, and if the degree of trust is compromised for whatever reason, the relationship my not be strong enough to last the distance. Indeed it is felt that a lack of trust in or by your partner is at the core of why you have stopped listening to each other.
So the reading sees no real progress being made towards a resolution of the problems which are responsible for your relationship currently feeling frozen on a plateau, UNLESS the communication barrier can be somehow breached.
It will never be broken through by either of you shouting at or accusing each other of doing things for which there is no solid evidence, and words said in anger are often difficult to take back and make out that you never said them, once they have left your lips.
It will never be broken by one of you continually reminding your partner of other times when he or she made an honest mistake that made you feel that you could not trust them. Instead of playing the blame game and finding whose fault the current stagnation is, you must each take your fair share of the responsibility for allowing it to go on as long as it has.
Share the responsibility for what has happened and for finding a mutually satisfying solution, instead of distributing the blame and wanting to score points against him or her. Nobody ever really wins a war. By hurting each other, you are simultaneously only hurting yourselves.
Frequently in close human relationships a big part of the problem is that neither party is willing to compromise or meet the other person half way to reaching an agreement, so an increased ability or willingness to compromise by both of you (compromise does not work if it is one sided) is similarly a big part of the overall solution.
It is impossible for the reading to predict with any reasonable degree of certainty if you will still be together as a couple in six months time, mainly because this largely depends on how well or otherwise you apply the insights coming out of this reading to finding a practical solution to your current predicament.
Firstly the communication barrier must be penetrated. Not an easy job, but also not an impossible one, unless you make it impossible.
Secondly you need to honestly communicate your feelings, as to explaining why trust has been lost between you. Be especially careful not to say anything which you might easily and quickly live to regret saying, but not able to take back.
Thirdly the solutions which you are looking for are MOSTLY not to be found in the past, although valuable lessons can be learned from your past which could possibly help you in the present moment, which is your only true point of personal power to positively and practically co-create your own future happiness.
Fourthly cut the mind and blame games. Attack the problem (s) instead of each other. Just like getting rid of weeds in a garden you must get all the roots of the problem out, or they have a common tendency to come back stronger than ever before.
Finally (fifthly?), without some element of compromise and a willingness to try to look at the problem through your partner's belief system and eyes instead of only through your own way of looking at it, there is no power on Earth or in Heaven that can save this relationship from an inevitable death.
Wishing you both all the potential happiness in your love and life, regardless of whether or not you ultimately stay together as a couple, up to and beyond the middle of February 2015 (~6 months).
EoT 
Any relationship of eight months, whether it is currently stalled or not definitely qualifies you to receive a love/relationship reading. Although it should be mentioned for a matter of relevancy that your financial status must have a significant impact upon your ability to keep this relationship alive, because going out together on a regular basis can often become quite expensive. And if your financial resources are presently strained it cannot be doing much good for your self confidence, particularly if your partner is not very understanding of the reasons for you having to tighten your purse strings in order to keep your head above water, money wise.
And this interaction of or conflict between opposing factors (both yours and hers) is a common theme which runs throughout your reading. The reasons for your relationship having stagnated are neither simple (what's new) nor able to be considered in complete isolation from others. They include factors on both sides which were already present when you first met each other less than a year ago.
Both of you are it is felt carrying negative emotional baggage with you into this relationship from your past, and to make resolving your current problems that much more difficult than it might have otherwise been, your baggage and her baggage are building upon and reinforcing each other.
It is also felt that the there has been a communication breakdown between the two of you where both of you are constantly talking over each other and finishing each other's sentences, but neither of you is really listening to the other person, when it is so important to the future of your relationship that you do listen without interfering or prejudging the situation.
The reading tells me that there has been a communication breakdown, but it is rather short on details as to whether any of this is intentional, and more urgently whether the reading feels that this can be easily turned around during the period of the next six months thought to be covered by it.
In limbo does not necessarily mean that this stalemate is permanent, but it could increasingly mean that the longer that this wall of silence remains unchallenged. Neither of you appears willing to compromise or be the first person to say that you are sorry, made that much more difficult by you not knowing what you should be feeling sorry about. There is no shortage of confusion and conflicting needs underpinning your relationship being stuck, and little or none of it is ever going to be worked through if both of you wait for the other person to make the first move.
Why is it that she does not trust you as much as you should, or why is it that you do not trust her to always do what she feels is the right thing for her to do in both your best interests for the future of your relationship?
Trust acts like an adhesive or cement which has the potential to hold a relationship together when it is going through a rough patch, and if the degree of trust is compromised for whatever reason, the relationship my not be strong enough to last the distance. Indeed it is felt that a lack of trust in or by your partner is at the core of why you have stopped listening to each other.
So the reading sees no real progress being made towards a resolution of the problems which are responsible for your relationship currently feeling frozen on a plateau, UNLESS the communication barrier can be somehow breached.
It will never be broken through by either of you shouting at or accusing each other of doing things for which there is no solid evidence, and words said in anger are often difficult to take back and make out that you never said them, once they have left your lips.
It will never be broken by one of you continually reminding your partner of other times when he or she made an honest mistake that made you feel that you could not trust them. Instead of playing the blame game and finding whose fault the current stagnation is, you must each take your fair share of the responsibility for allowing it to go on as long as it has.
Share the responsibility for what has happened and for finding a mutually satisfying solution, instead of distributing the blame and wanting to score points against him or her. Nobody ever really wins a war. By hurting each other, you are simultaneously only hurting yourselves.
Frequently in close human relationships a big part of the problem is that neither party is willing to compromise or meet the other person half way to reaching an agreement, so an increased ability or willingness to compromise by both of you (compromise does not work if it is one sided) is similarly a big part of the overall solution.
It is impossible for the reading to predict with any reasonable degree of certainty if you will still be together as a couple in six months time, mainly because this largely depends on how well or otherwise you apply the insights coming out of this reading to finding a practical solution to your current predicament.
Firstly the communication barrier must be penetrated. Not an easy job, but also not an impossible one, unless you make it impossible.
Secondly you need to honestly communicate your feelings, as to explaining why trust has been lost between you. Be especially careful not to say anything which you might easily and quickly live to regret saying, but not able to take back.
Thirdly the solutions which you are looking for are MOSTLY not to be found in the past, although valuable lessons can be learned from your past which could possibly help you in the present moment, which is your only true point of personal power to positively and practically co-create your own future happiness.
Fourthly cut the mind and blame games. Attack the problem (s) instead of each other. Just like getting rid of weeds in a garden you must get all the roots of the problem out, or they have a common tendency to come back stronger than ever before.
Finally (fifthly?), without some element of compromise and a willingness to try to look at the problem through your partner's belief system and eyes instead of only through your own way of looking at it, there is no power on Earth or in Heaven that can save this relationship from an inevitable death.
Wishing you both all the potential happiness in your love and life, regardless of whether or not you ultimately stay together as a couple, up to and beyond the middle of February 2015 (~6 months).
EoT
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FrankU1982
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Thank you EoT for the reading.
Money is a problem in our relationship but communication is as well. She speaks very little English and I speak very little Spanish. We are able to understand each other but sometimes we need to use Google's translator to get our points across. Which causes problems because the translator can translate our words but not the meaning. There is also a problem that my family doesn't approve of me being with her due to the fact that we are of different ethnic backgrounds. And, that she has a child from a previous relationship. I don't know what to do. I love her and want to remain with her but, I don't want to alienate myself from my family.
Money is a problem in our relationship but communication is as well. She speaks very little English and I speak very little Spanish. We are able to understand each other but sometimes we need to use Google's translator to get our points across. Which causes problems because the translator can translate our words but not the meaning. There is also a problem that my family doesn't approve of me being with her due to the fact that we are of different ethnic backgrounds. And, that she has a child from a previous relationship. I don't know what to do. I love her and want to remain with her but, I don't want to alienate myself from my family.
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eye_of_tiger
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Frank,
You are welcome for the reading, and I only wish that I could suggest something more practical through the reading, which you could reasonably do to make this sensitive situation easier for the both of you
I am genuinely saddened to hear that your family are standing in the way of this relationship, particularly on the basis of your partner's ethnicity and the associated language differences which you freely admit often challenge your own ability to communicate precisely what you mean to say to each other.
Unfortunately I cannot see your parent's attitudes changing anytime soon, so anything which you can do will must be without their help. It is felt that if you were able to demonstrate to them that these ethnic differences are not such a barrier to your relationship surviving as they may first appear to be, then their attitudes might soften to the point that they are at least willing to listen to what you are trying to tell them.
Talk is cheap. The only way for you to have a chance of moving them is by your actions, and not only by your words. If you are having so many problems communicating with her, it is hardly surprising that they would want to protect you with the best of intentions from getting into a relationship which is going to attract considerable discrimination from your community.
If you did not love her so much and want to remain with her, surely their misgivings about her would not be an issue. Finding the right balance between having this relationship and at the same time not alienating yourself from your own family is it is felt going to continue to be challenging for both of you, but if your love for each other is strong enough to last the distance, the reading still sees some hope for you staying together over the longer term. The situation is without any doubt challenging, but not yet hopeless?
Take good care of yourselves
EoT :smt052
You are welcome for the reading, and I only wish that I could suggest something more practical through the reading, which you could reasonably do to make this sensitive situation easier for the both of you
I am genuinely saddened to hear that your family are standing in the way of this relationship, particularly on the basis of your partner's ethnicity and the associated language differences which you freely admit often challenge your own ability to communicate precisely what you mean to say to each other.
Unfortunately I cannot see your parent's attitudes changing anytime soon, so anything which you can do will must be without their help. It is felt that if you were able to demonstrate to them that these ethnic differences are not such a barrier to your relationship surviving as they may first appear to be, then their attitudes might soften to the point that they are at least willing to listen to what you are trying to tell them.
Talk is cheap. The only way for you to have a chance of moving them is by your actions, and not only by your words. If you are having so many problems communicating with her, it is hardly surprising that they would want to protect you with the best of intentions from getting into a relationship which is going to attract considerable discrimination from your community.
If you did not love her so much and want to remain with her, surely their misgivings about her would not be an issue. Finding the right balance between having this relationship and at the same time not alienating yourself from your own family is it is felt going to continue to be challenging for both of you, but if your love for each other is strong enough to last the distance, the reading still sees some hope for you staying together over the longer term. The situation is without any doubt challenging, but not yet hopeless?
Take good care of yourselves
EoT :smt052
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FrankU1982
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I have one last question for you EoT.
Is she using me? Or should I say, is she manipulating me?
The reason I ask is because her family has a history of divorce. Her parents divorced when she was young and judging by the way she talks about her sons father and why she is no longer with him, I dont want her to do the same to me. I dont want to take our relationship to the next level if she is just gonna throw me away a few years from now. I know that sort of question cant be answered definitely but, is there a way I can I find out if she has ulterior motives?
Is she using me? Or should I say, is she manipulating me?
The reason I ask is because her family has a history of divorce. Her parents divorced when she was young and judging by the way she talks about her sons father and why she is no longer with him, I dont want her to do the same to me. I dont want to take our relationship to the next level if she is just gonna throw me away a few years from now. I know that sort of question cant be answered definitely but, is there a way I can I find out if she has ulterior motives?
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eye_of_tiger
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Frank,
Once a reading has been completed, it cannot then be reopened to new questions which were not included in your original request.
Also in order to determine whether she is using or manipulating you to gain an unfair advantage over you would require a third party reading to be given, which as you should already know is strictly forbidden under our forum rules.
Statistically a history of divorce in her family going back several generations does suggest that the chances of her wanting a divorce herself further down the track could be greater than that of the average family where divorces are rarely if ever seen, but it is certainly not guaranteed that she would do the same.
Any marriage could potentially end in divorce. If people were unwilling to enter upon a relationship and marriage unless the risk of it ending in a divorce is zero, all of us would remain permanently single.
Divorces are usually the result of the couple either bring unable or unwilling to work upon their issues and disagreements earlier in the relationship, when the problems are not so large and complicated as they can become later.
Therefore by working on your relationship issues earlier on in the marriage in an atmosphere of mutual respect and a willingness to compromise by both individuals, the chance of it ending in a divorce can be significantly reduced, but never completely eliminated.
Doing anything important to you in this life frequently necessitates you taking certain risks and making some personal sacrifices to get what we want. Close human relationships whether they are a marriage or not are the best examples I know of this often unpopular fact of life.
Regards,
EoT :smt031
Once a reading has been completed, it cannot then be reopened to new questions which were not included in your original request.
Also in order to determine whether she is using or manipulating you to gain an unfair advantage over you would require a third party reading to be given, which as you should already know is strictly forbidden under our forum rules.
Statistically a history of divorce in her family going back several generations does suggest that the chances of her wanting a divorce herself further down the track could be greater than that of the average family where divorces are rarely if ever seen, but it is certainly not guaranteed that she would do the same.
Any marriage could potentially end in divorce. If people were unwilling to enter upon a relationship and marriage unless the risk of it ending in a divorce is zero, all of us would remain permanently single.
Divorces are usually the result of the couple either bring unable or unwilling to work upon their issues and disagreements earlier in the relationship, when the problems are not so large and complicated as they can become later.
Therefore by working on your relationship issues earlier on in the marriage in an atmosphere of mutual respect and a willingness to compromise by both individuals, the chance of it ending in a divorce can be significantly reduced, but never completely eliminated.
Doing anything important to you in this life frequently necessitates you taking certain risks and making some personal sacrifices to get what we want. Close human relationships whether they are a marriage or not are the best examples I know of this often unpopular fact of life.
Regards,
EoT :smt031
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