Hi Eye of Tiger
Impressive work!
Wondering if I could trouble you for a reading, if not too much trouble?
I am just wondering if I could receive a reading receiving my love life. I am a little bit sort of over expectations of a 'fairytale romance'.
I had aspired to this for 30 out of 31 of my years on this earth, and recently decided that it isn't realistic , owing to a number of incidents,and a breeding pattern in my past suggesting so, and the fact that not much has changed in that area to date (I have been single my whole life). Don't get me wrong, im mostly happy with my life, and grateful for all that I have been blessed with. I try to be a good person to others too, considerate and loving towards my friends.
Anyway, I was wondering if you could share your reading/advice/wisdom in regards to the area of my love life.
I basically feel that a more appropriate and realistic approach is to just have fun with guys (sorry for too much information ...), and nothing emotionally connecting, as I just find that the latter gets too hurtful , strange and political and ruins the remainder of the majority 'serenity' that I have in my life.
I am not sure though, if I am being totally honest with myself (I know how bizarre that sounds). So felt it best to seek counsel from someone whose advice and wisdom that I respect.
hi
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eye_of_tiger
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Welcome Joanie,
Just as wanting a fairytale romance or they lived happily ever after relationship is unrealistic, so equally is a life completely free of taking risks, or full of nothing but serenity. But our strong spiritual need to share the love which we feel in our hearts with that special someone for us and to be valued and respected in return for who we already are, is not going to disappear any time soon.
When we enter upon a new relationship we are taking huge risks. The main risks are that either we will be rejected as not being good, pretty, smart, sexy.................enough for that person, or that once we have put our hearts and feelings out in the world for everyone to see that this person is going to walk all over and crush them. Just as we fear that we will disappoint them for one of many possible reasons, it is inevitable that either intentionally or often unintentionally that at some stage he will disappoint you and hurt your feelings.
But the solution to this predicament is NOT to stop looking for him, nor to lower your own personal standards and expectations of what you are looking for in him to the point that you lose respect for yourself.
In the short term just having fun with the guys without any genuine emotional connection will temporarily (very temporarily) satisfy your physical needs, but it will not make the grade in the direction of satisfying your greatest spiritual need of all to be truly loved. While expecting perfection in him or yourself is unrealistic, do not at the same time short change yourself in order to get what is only a pale and sad imitation of the real thing. Life is all about taking risks. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
The idea is not to avoid taking all risks (as this is by definition not being fully live) by just having fun and putting up with otherwise unacceptable behaviour or men using you for massaging their own fragile male egos, but instead the solution lies in minimizing your exposure to the risks which are associated with any close human relationship, and making contingency or backup plans, just in case in spite of all your efforts things do not work out between you.
Just because you have had some bad experiences with men in the past, and this is easier said than done, you must not risk creating a negative self fulfilling prophecy. If you start to expect that every relationship is guaranteed to end in heartbreak, then you will unknowingly/unconsciously attract the very factors into your life that will significantly increase the chances of this happening.
Some people advise you to always expect the worst. If less than than the worst possible thing you can imagine happens (which is most of the time) you can then feel pleasantly surprised. But by always expecting the worst out of your relationships with men (he rejects you completely or gets what he wants then dumps you for another woman, you are sowing the seeds of your own unhappiness and remaining single against your choice for this lifetime.
Not every man or woman was meant to get married, or be with that same person for the rest of their life in a committed partnership, although your reading shows (shouts and screams at) me that you are not one of these. You are NOT destined to live your life alone without a man in it, unless you begin believing strongly and often enough that you are.
To be able to get the true and lasting type of love which you so badly and urgently need (and so richly deserve), you first have to control your fears and doubts long enough (the really hard part) to give yourself a reasonable chance of making the relationship work for you.
If it is only to happen according to his terms and conditions, and you have solid physical evidence that your feelings are not being considered, then that is not a relationship but rather it is an unhealthy and toxic codependency.
This would only result over the longer term in you both destroying each other, and losing your true inner Self and feeling of any life direction or purpose in the process. Courage is not the absence of fear, but doing what you intuitively know is right for you, in spite of those fears. Just as serenity is not the absence of stress, but rather it is a feeling of relative calm, while you are still very much in the eye of the storm.
Do not be too hard upon yourself if you are better at doing this on some days, than you are on others. Any progress made will be frequently non linear (two steps forwards, closely followed by one step backwards). It is always better to begin with baby steps, then as your self confidence increases gradually work up to your bigger doubts and fears about having relationship.
Try to find the right balance for you between watching for the warning signs that the relationship is about to go off the rails, without automatically sensing trouble where it may not in reality exist. Be careful not to make baseless accusations against him, without having enough solid evidence to support your theories.
Sadly, that is where this particular reading ends. No predictions about what might happen during the next six months in the romance area. Instead practical suggestions on what you can humanly do to increase the chances of it happening to you, more than the 50% level which is expected by chance or luck alone.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT
Just as wanting a fairytale romance or they lived happily ever after relationship is unrealistic, so equally is a life completely free of taking risks, or full of nothing but serenity. But our strong spiritual need to share the love which we feel in our hearts with that special someone for us and to be valued and respected in return for who we already are, is not going to disappear any time soon.
When we enter upon a new relationship we are taking huge risks. The main risks are that either we will be rejected as not being good, pretty, smart, sexy.................enough for that person, or that once we have put our hearts and feelings out in the world for everyone to see that this person is going to walk all over and crush them. Just as we fear that we will disappoint them for one of many possible reasons, it is inevitable that either intentionally or often unintentionally that at some stage he will disappoint you and hurt your feelings.
But the solution to this predicament is NOT to stop looking for him, nor to lower your own personal standards and expectations of what you are looking for in him to the point that you lose respect for yourself.
In the short term just having fun with the guys without any genuine emotional connection will temporarily (very temporarily) satisfy your physical needs, but it will not make the grade in the direction of satisfying your greatest spiritual need of all to be truly loved. While expecting perfection in him or yourself is unrealistic, do not at the same time short change yourself in order to get what is only a pale and sad imitation of the real thing. Life is all about taking risks. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
The idea is not to avoid taking all risks (as this is by definition not being fully live) by just having fun and putting up with otherwise unacceptable behaviour or men using you for massaging their own fragile male egos, but instead the solution lies in minimizing your exposure to the risks which are associated with any close human relationship, and making contingency or backup plans, just in case in spite of all your efforts things do not work out between you.
Just because you have had some bad experiences with men in the past, and this is easier said than done, you must not risk creating a negative self fulfilling prophecy. If you start to expect that every relationship is guaranteed to end in heartbreak, then you will unknowingly/unconsciously attract the very factors into your life that will significantly increase the chances of this happening.
Some people advise you to always expect the worst. If less than than the worst possible thing you can imagine happens (which is most of the time) you can then feel pleasantly surprised. But by always expecting the worst out of your relationships with men (he rejects you completely or gets what he wants then dumps you for another woman, you are sowing the seeds of your own unhappiness and remaining single against your choice for this lifetime.
Not every man or woman was meant to get married, or be with that same person for the rest of their life in a committed partnership, although your reading shows (shouts and screams at) me that you are not one of these. You are NOT destined to live your life alone without a man in it, unless you begin believing strongly and often enough that you are.
To be able to get the true and lasting type of love which you so badly and urgently need (and so richly deserve), you first have to control your fears and doubts long enough (the really hard part) to give yourself a reasonable chance of making the relationship work for you.
If it is only to happen according to his terms and conditions, and you have solid physical evidence that your feelings are not being considered, then that is not a relationship but rather it is an unhealthy and toxic codependency.
This would only result over the longer term in you both destroying each other, and losing your true inner Self and feeling of any life direction or purpose in the process. Courage is not the absence of fear, but doing what you intuitively know is right for you, in spite of those fears. Just as serenity is not the absence of stress, but rather it is a feeling of relative calm, while you are still very much in the eye of the storm.
Do not be too hard upon yourself if you are better at doing this on some days, than you are on others. Any progress made will be frequently non linear (two steps forwards, closely followed by one step backwards). It is always better to begin with baby steps, then as your self confidence increases gradually work up to your bigger doubts and fears about having relationship.
Try to find the right balance for you between watching for the warning signs that the relationship is about to go off the rails, without automatically sensing trouble where it may not in reality exist. Be careful not to make baseless accusations against him, without having enough solid evidence to support your theories.
Sadly, that is where this particular reading ends. No predictions about what might happen during the next six months in the romance area. Instead practical suggestions on what you can humanly do to increase the chances of it happening to you, more than the 50% level which is expected by chance or luck alone.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT
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joaniecollins6696
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2014 3:07 pm
Thank you
Dear Eye of Tiger
Thank you for your time and consideration in issuing me a reading. Very kind of you.
It helped me to make certain key realisations. My intended actions of casual relationships with men, was simply veiled low self esteem and fear. Your kindness helped to push me into the right direction, and I have since cut off all contact with those that had intended to participate in inevitably (mutual) self destructive behaviours.
Very strange also, as the very day that I received your reading, I had reluctantly agreed to a date. The candidate was attractive enough and seemed nice, but at 31 years of age, I have never had any man date me and then contact me after.
Therefore I was petrified of rejection, (in the very manner that you outlined in the reading - you accuracy was spooky actually). I literally felt physically sick.
For the first time in my life, I enjoyed the company of the date, he was courteous, chivalrous and seemed smitten with me (all are new experiences).
He has been chasing me actively since, but the best part is that I am not obssessing over the situation as I usually do. I feel that this signifies growth in regards to my self esteem. He is also very different to my past men that have mistreated me (he isn't fully my 'type'), but in a way interesting to get to know someone that seems kind vs just an idiotic insincere alpah male with inappropriate /usery intentions.
I feel serene and content with things for once and also generally very happy with my life (work and friends). I don't have any parents and have never had any roles models or guidance. Everything that I have learnt, I have learnt via 'life lessons' for want of better phrase and recovery (i.e 12 step programmes).
The advice you gave me (and the outcome) is comparative to the guidance of a parent that I have never had (not intending to overwlhem by you sounding 'intense') - but that is how the reading felt , and I am very happy with the outcome and avoiding being lead astray and backtracking majorly mentally. Thank you so so much again.
Love and Light
JC
Thank you for your time and consideration in issuing me a reading. Very kind of you.
It helped me to make certain key realisations. My intended actions of casual relationships with men, was simply veiled low self esteem and fear. Your kindness helped to push me into the right direction, and I have since cut off all contact with those that had intended to participate in inevitably (mutual) self destructive behaviours.
Very strange also, as the very day that I received your reading, I had reluctantly agreed to a date. The candidate was attractive enough and seemed nice, but at 31 years of age, I have never had any man date me and then contact me after.
Therefore I was petrified of rejection, (in the very manner that you outlined in the reading - you accuracy was spooky actually). I literally felt physically sick.
For the first time in my life, I enjoyed the company of the date, he was courteous, chivalrous and seemed smitten with me (all are new experiences).
He has been chasing me actively since, but the best part is that I am not obssessing over the situation as I usually do. I feel that this signifies growth in regards to my self esteem. He is also very different to my past men that have mistreated me (he isn't fully my 'type'), but in a way interesting to get to know someone that seems kind vs just an idiotic insincere alpah male with inappropriate /usery intentions.
I feel serene and content with things for once and also generally very happy with my life (work and friends). I don't have any parents and have never had any roles models or guidance. Everything that I have learnt, I have learnt via 'life lessons' for want of better phrase and recovery (i.e 12 step programmes).
The advice you gave me (and the outcome) is comparative to the guidance of a parent that I have never had (not intending to overwlhem by you sounding 'intense') - but that is how the reading felt , and I am very happy with the outcome and avoiding being lead astray and backtracking majorly mentally. Thank you so so much again.
Love and Light
JC
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eye_of_tiger
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Thank you Joanie,
Your feedback is what most readers can only dream about getting once during an entire lifetime.
Not only does it confirm much of what has been said, but meeting this nice guy has clearly done wonders for your self confidence and it looks like everything is finally going in the right direction again, with regards to your love life.
It will not be a case of you lived happily ever after, as every close human relationship has its rough patches, but it will be mostly wonderful and always interesting. :smt002 :smt002
You did not embarrass or overwhelm me by your heartfelt comments that the advice given to you was comparative to the guidance of a parent whom you never had, because I believe that the message came though me rather than from me.
Therefore I cannot really take any personal credit for it, but I do find it a humbling experience to be used as a channel for your healing.
Your newly found self esteem and happiness in love are worth more to me than you could ever possibly imagine.
Wishing you both every happiness and success in your life together,
EoT 
Your feedback is what most readers can only dream about getting once during an entire lifetime.
Not only does it confirm much of what has been said, but meeting this nice guy has clearly done wonders for your self confidence and it looks like everything is finally going in the right direction again, with regards to your love life.
It will not be a case of you lived happily ever after, as every close human relationship has its rough patches, but it will be mostly wonderful and always interesting. :smt002 :smt002
You did not embarrass or overwhelm me by your heartfelt comments that the advice given to you was comparative to the guidance of a parent whom you never had, because I believe that the message came though me rather than from me.
Therefore I cannot really take any personal credit for it, but I do find it a humbling experience to be used as a channel for your healing.
While the rest of your feedback was much appreciated, the above quoted statement was the veritable icing on my cake (the cream on my milk) for yours truly.I am very happy with the outcome and avoiding being lead astray and backtracking majorly mentally.
Your newly found self esteem and happiness in love are worth more to me than you could ever possibly imagine.
Wishing you both every happiness and success in your life together,
EoT
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joaniecollins6696
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2014 3:07 pm
Thank you!
Thank you so much for your response.
I did feel a little bit awkard writing it, as was very very concerned that you would feel overwhelemed. I am glad you weren't and I honestly can't thank you enough.
Btw, do you really feel that this relationship will work out long term? Not at all asking for a prediction, but just wondered as my attitude towards it (which as I mentioned is literally for the first time in my life), totally relaxed. To such an extent that I don't have any expecations of the scenario or him. I like him, but am just so content with my life that I wouldn't over react/be devastated if he disappeared/changed his mind etc, I wouldn't harbour any hard feelings. It has taken me a long time to get to this place.
But just wondering if you could shed some light into why you feel that we will share a life together, or perhaps you were well wishing
Don't worry if this is one question too many , and thanks so much again for your time and kindness.
Kind Regards
JC
I did feel a little bit awkard writing it, as was very very concerned that you would feel overwhelemed. I am glad you weren't and I honestly can't thank you enough.
Btw, do you really feel that this relationship will work out long term? Not at all asking for a prediction, but just wondered as my attitude towards it (which as I mentioned is literally for the first time in my life), totally relaxed. To such an extent that I don't have any expecations of the scenario or him. I like him, but am just so content with my life that I wouldn't over react/be devastated if he disappeared/changed his mind etc, I wouldn't harbour any hard feelings. It has taken me a long time to get to this place.
But just wondering if you could shed some light into why you feel that we will share a life together, or perhaps you were well wishing
Don't worry if this is one question too many , and thanks so much again for your time and kindness.
Kind Regards
JC
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joaniecollins6696
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2014 3:07 pm
Thank you!
Thank you so much for your response.
I did feel a little bit awkard writing it, as was very very concerned that you would feel overwhelemed. I am glad you weren't and I honestly can't thank you enough.
Btw, do you really feel that this relationship will work out long term? Not at all asking for a prediction, but just wondered as my attitude towards it (which as I mentioned is literally for the first time in my life), totally relaxed. To such an extent that I don't have any expecations of the scenario or him. I like him, but am just so content with my life that I wouldn't over react/be devastated if he disappeared/changed his mind etc, I wouldn't harbour any hard feelings. It has taken me a long time to get to this place.
But just wondering if you could shed some light into why you feel that we will share a life together, or perhaps you were well wishing
Don't worry if this is one question too many , and thanks so much again for your time and kindness.
Kind Regards
JC
I did feel a little bit awkard writing it, as was very very concerned that you would feel overwhelemed. I am glad you weren't and I honestly can't thank you enough.
Btw, do you really feel that this relationship will work out long term? Not at all asking for a prediction, but just wondered as my attitude towards it (which as I mentioned is literally for the first time in my life), totally relaxed. To such an extent that I don't have any expecations of the scenario or him. I like him, but am just so content with my life that I wouldn't over react/be devastated if he disappeared/changed his mind etc, I wouldn't harbour any hard feelings. It has taken me a long time to get to this place.
But just wondering if you could shed some light into why you feel that we will share a life together, or perhaps you were well wishing
Don't worry if this is one question too many , and thanks so much again for your time and kindness.
Kind Regards
JC
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eye_of_tiger
- Site Admin
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- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:47 am
- Location: Adelaide, South Australia
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Every new relationship inevitably brings with it new possibilities and opportunities. If you are able to maintain the same more relaxed, more philosophical attitude towards this relationship throughout the next six months thought to be covered by this reading, then the chances of it surviving and becoming increasingly stronger over a much longer term (several years), are in all probability well above the average 50% mark expected by chance alone.
Readings deal with probabilities, but can never give guarantees of anything. Especially guarantees about what might happen in the future. This is because what lies ahead in the future for your relationship with this man is predominantly a consequence of what you will BOTH do in the present moment to help, develop and strengthen it (it being the relationship). The present moment is your only true point of personal power to be able to influence that future for the better.
I wish you both love and light, but my good wishes and intentions alone are not going to be enough by themselves to make me confidently predict that you will still be together as a couple in five years time from now. Since your reading only covers the period of the next six months it is NOT saying anything about what might happen between seven to 60 months.
It is felt to be better to focus your energies exclusively upon what you will practically do to help your cause of finally having a relatively enjoyable and satisfying relationship with him over the next six months, instead of constantly looking at and worrying yourself sick about what could happen over the next 60. And by so doing unnecessarily frightening yourself so much about all that could possibly go wrong over five years, that you may not be able to last the distance.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT :smt039
Readings deal with probabilities, but can never give guarantees of anything. Especially guarantees about what might happen in the future. This is because what lies ahead in the future for your relationship with this man is predominantly a consequence of what you will BOTH do in the present moment to help, develop and strengthen it (it being the relationship). The present moment is your only true point of personal power to be able to influence that future for the better.
It has a very good well above average chance of working out over the longer term, but only if you apply what lessons came out of your reading on a daily basis, in six month blocks . Whether the relationship WILL work out over the longer term is therefore mainly up to the both of you to decide as time moves inexorably forward.do you really feel that this relationship will work out long term?
wondering if you could shed some light into why you feel that we will share a life together, or perhaps you were well wishing
I wish you both love and light, but my good wishes and intentions alone are not going to be enough by themselves to make me confidently predict that you will still be together as a couple in five years time from now. Since your reading only covers the period of the next six months it is NOT saying anything about what might happen between seven to 60 months.
It is felt to be better to focus your energies exclusively upon what you will practically do to help your cause of finally having a relatively enjoyable and satisfying relationship with him over the next six months, instead of constantly looking at and worrying yourself sick about what could happen over the next 60. And by so doing unnecessarily frightening yourself so much about all that could possibly go wrong over five years, that you may not be able to last the distance.
It was NOT one question too many, and once again you are more than welcome for all of it.Don't worry if this is one question too many , and thanks so much again for your time and kindness.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT :smt039
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joaniecollins6696
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2014 3:07 pm
Thank you so much for your time again!
Yes, I will follow your advice carefully. As you noted though, recovery/healing from past disappointment isn't a linear process. Today has been a day that has been challenging, as anxiety about the relationship has crept in :( hopefully the good days will outweight these sorts of days, just going to take one step at a time. Thanks so much again for everything :0!
Yes, I will follow your advice carefully. As you noted though, recovery/healing from past disappointment isn't a linear process. Today has been a day that has been challenging, as anxiety about the relationship has crept in :( hopefully the good days will outweight these sorts of days, just going to take one step at a time. Thanks so much again for everything :0!
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eye_of_tiger
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joaniecollins6696
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hi
Hi Eye of Tiger
Again, I can't thank you enough for your time invested in me and great advice.
I was wondering if I could trouble one last (and ABSOLUTLEY final) time. I just need some light shed on my (maybe potentially subconscious negative attitude).
It is the case that the man that we have discussed above has some VERY OTT/ extreme preferences when it comes to the physical side of things and has engaged with over 200 women and engaged in non mainstream activities.
He just told me this as part of general conversation, not in the respect of advising me that these are his expectations of me (of which I would never oblige to, if you are wondering), and without prompting on my side, advised me he is looking for something serious, but engaging in the above in the interim. His actions seem to be that he is genuinely very interested in courting me and takes the engagement with me very seriously. Owing to that outlined in this message, I have not responded to his attempts to contact me in 3 days, owing to caution and worry on my side, about that outlined in this msg.
I full acknowledge your point of my over worrying and generally (lifetime long) anxious personality resulting in my tending to overthink things and see things in a negative light etc. And that my habit of mentally 'auto piloting' into this mind set may sabotage this relationship and others.
However, I am not sure what a balanced approach in this situation looks like. I don't want to put myself in a situation that seems to have 'very obvious' red flags , but also don't want to dismiss a potential opportunity to engage with someone that might be a decent (and just simply being honest with me, and has no other intention or -ve intention now, or for the future towards me) person.
Advice I have received from my friends has left me all the more confused. Hence my posting here.
However, I did feel awkward about doing so, as don't want to burden you or seem ungrateful for all you have done for me to date.so, honestly, please please don't worry if the above is too much to ask.
All the best
JC
Again, I can't thank you enough for your time invested in me and great advice.
I was wondering if I could trouble one last (and ABSOLUTLEY final) time. I just need some light shed on my (maybe potentially subconscious negative attitude).
It is the case that the man that we have discussed above has some VERY OTT/ extreme preferences when it comes to the physical side of things and has engaged with over 200 women and engaged in non mainstream activities.
He just told me this as part of general conversation, not in the respect of advising me that these are his expectations of me (of which I would never oblige to, if you are wondering), and without prompting on my side, advised me he is looking for something serious, but engaging in the above in the interim. His actions seem to be that he is genuinely very interested in courting me and takes the engagement with me very seriously. Owing to that outlined in this message, I have not responded to his attempts to contact me in 3 days, owing to caution and worry on my side, about that outlined in this msg.
I full acknowledge your point of my over worrying and generally (lifetime long) anxious personality resulting in my tending to overthink things and see things in a negative light etc. And that my habit of mentally 'auto piloting' into this mind set may sabotage this relationship and others.
However, I am not sure what a balanced approach in this situation looks like. I don't want to put myself in a situation that seems to have 'very obvious' red flags , but also don't want to dismiss a potential opportunity to engage with someone that might be a decent (and just simply being honest with me, and has no other intention or -ve intention now, or for the future towards me) person.
Advice I have received from my friends has left me all the more confused. Hence my posting here.
However, I did feel awkward about doing so, as don't want to burden you or seem ungrateful for all you have done for me to date.so, honestly, please please don't worry if the above is too much to ask.
All the best
JC
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eye_of_tiger
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Joanie,
That feedback puts a completely different light on your situation, and my reading of it.
You have I believe a very good and valid reason to feel concerned if he has been sleeping with all of those women while he says that he is looking for something completely different in his relationships from you.
Is he willing to submit to a test for the presence of STDs, including AIDS and Hepatitis, before having any intimate contact with you?
If he has already done so, have you been tested?
He might say to your face that he is a changed man and that he was only sleeping with the 200 women while waiting for someone special like yourself, but old habits are hard to break and there is a distinct possibility that he is being dishonest about his true intentions with regards to sleeping arrangements, both to you as well as to himself.
Non mainstream activities suggests to me that sooner rather than later you will be enlisted for group sex and possibly S&M as well. I cannot read him directly as this would be a third party reading which I am not allowed to give under the forum rules, but my feelings of extreme caution is needed here are probably more than your own, at this point in time.
In the aftermath of such revealing information about what your most likely future with him looks like, you cannot take a balanced approach by allowing him to use you to satisfy his carnal needs, then throwing you away like a piece of useless garbage when he has taken what he wants from you. What he very likely wants other than the obvious is to take away your self respect, making you even more vulnerable to his evil influence over all other areas of your life.
Without the third party reading I cannot offer you anything like a 100% guarantee that he will or will not change his wandering ways, so my advice to you as you have the most to lose is not to take the huge risks involved in finding this out for sure. It is your health and safety which are this reader's highest priority when giving you advice, and a prospective future relationship with him is neither looking healthy nor safe from where I am looking.
Nothing important to you is ever going to be achieved without you taking risks, but the idea is to minimize the risks which you take, making them calculated or planned ones. In my estimation the risks of what you stand to lose if you have a relationship with this man greatly outweigh any temporary benefits which could come out of it (for you) for your feeling of being loved, and consequently the advice coming through on your behalf is to have no further contact with him; whatsoever.
Be careful if he knows here you live and you have shared friends and other contacts, as without the third party reading I cannot be sure that he would not resort to stalking and violence in order to get his way with you. Do not leave it too late to alert the relevant authorities to the potential danger you are in if this very manipulative person sets his sights upon you, in spite of you rejecting him.
Stay safe by giving him the royal boot on his backside, or by giving him his marching orders. I believe that your intuition about this character is telling you the truth, with the intention to protect you from being badly hurt (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually).
Listen carefully to what it is reporting to you about him, then act accordingly and quickly to protect your self respect.
EoT :smt002
That feedback puts a completely different light on your situation, and my reading of it.
You have I believe a very good and valid reason to feel concerned if he has been sleeping with all of those women while he says that he is looking for something completely different in his relationships from you.
Is he willing to submit to a test for the presence of STDs, including AIDS and Hepatitis, before having any intimate contact with you?
If he has already done so, have you been tested?
He might say to your face that he is a changed man and that he was only sleeping with the 200 women while waiting for someone special like yourself, but old habits are hard to break and there is a distinct possibility that he is being dishonest about his true intentions with regards to sleeping arrangements, both to you as well as to himself.
Non mainstream activities suggests to me that sooner rather than later you will be enlisted for group sex and possibly S&M as well. I cannot read him directly as this would be a third party reading which I am not allowed to give under the forum rules, but my feelings of extreme caution is needed here are probably more than your own, at this point in time.
In the aftermath of such revealing information about what your most likely future with him looks like, you cannot take a balanced approach by allowing him to use you to satisfy his carnal needs, then throwing you away like a piece of useless garbage when he has taken what he wants from you. What he very likely wants other than the obvious is to take away your self respect, making you even more vulnerable to his evil influence over all other areas of your life.
Without the third party reading I cannot offer you anything like a 100% guarantee that he will or will not change his wandering ways, so my advice to you as you have the most to lose is not to take the huge risks involved in finding this out for sure. It is your health and safety which are this reader's highest priority when giving you advice, and a prospective future relationship with him is neither looking healthy nor safe from where I am looking.
Nothing important to you is ever going to be achieved without you taking risks, but the idea is to minimize the risks which you take, making them calculated or planned ones. In my estimation the risks of what you stand to lose if you have a relationship with this man greatly outweigh any temporary benefits which could come out of it (for you) for your feeling of being loved, and consequently the advice coming through on your behalf is to have no further contact with him; whatsoever.
Be careful if he knows here you live and you have shared friends and other contacts, as without the third party reading I cannot be sure that he would not resort to stalking and violence in order to get his way with you. Do not leave it too late to alert the relevant authorities to the potential danger you are in if this very manipulative person sets his sights upon you, in spite of you rejecting him.
Stay safe by giving him the royal boot on his backside, or by giving him his marching orders. I believe that your intuition about this character is telling you the truth, with the intention to protect you from being badly hurt (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually).
Listen carefully to what it is reporting to you about him, then act accordingly and quickly to protect your self respect.
EoT :smt002
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joaniecollins6696
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2014 3:07 pm
Thank you very much for your response.
I have not slept with him and have never done anything physical with him. I have no intention to either.
He told me ahead of our first date, that he has slept with 200 plus women and is looking for something serious , so just doing the above ahead of finding the right person. I told him I don't sleep around and therefore we might be looking for different things. He was very respectful on the first date, didn't try anything and was well behaved.
As youhave pointed out though, whatever he says, my intution is telling me to walk. The whole engagement with him leaves me uneasy for some reason. So I have decided to cease contact with him.
Thanks so much again for your time.
L and L
Jc
I have not slept with him and have never done anything physical with him. I have no intention to either.
He told me ahead of our first date, that he has slept with 200 plus women and is looking for something serious , so just doing the above ahead of finding the right person. I told him I don't sleep around and therefore we might be looking for different things. He was very respectful on the first date, didn't try anything and was well behaved.
As youhave pointed out though, whatever he says, my intution is telling me to walk. The whole engagement with him leaves me uneasy for some reason. So I have decided to cease contact with him.
Thanks so much again for your time.
L and L
Jc
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eye_of_tiger
- Site Admin
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- Location: Adelaide, South Australia
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joaniecollins6696
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2014 3:07 pm
Dear Eye of Tiger
I hope that you are well. I am sorry for yet another post, but I was just wondering if I could get a better understanding of things in general.
Firstly, it is not my intention to sound defeatist or negative as some might say ( but to be honest, in my view, realistic).
- You will recall that mention was made (I can't remember on whose part between our exchange), that is is acceptable/reasonable that committed love is not intended for some people in this lifetime, they have other life journeys/higher priority lessons to learn. I don't necessarily think that this is a negative thing.
As to be honest, I am happy with the remainder of my life, and all engagments seem to do with men, is add stress and avoiable complications to my life. This is fact spanning 31 years.
- For example, you yourself outlined an incredibly dysfunctional situation with the man mentioned in your penultimate post, of being extremley manipulative, with his sole interest in duping me and stripping me of my self respect, then dumping me like a piece of garbage, as were your words.
I might not have said it explicitly until now, however your comments reflected a (to date spanning 32 years - consistent experience throughout my lifetime of men in my life).
- Off the back of this, (and it is not my intention to put you into an awkward corner (and you of course do not have to comment) - but perhaps you can see a bit more why I'd prefer not to experience this sort of thing again, and also am sceptical as to whether this will ever change given the breeding pattern at 32. It is emotionally exhausting to be honest, and as mentioned, my life isgood in every other respect.
I am well, have good friends ,a great social life and very lucky in other respects, and am grateful for this. Hence why my view was to just accept what I do have, adn forget the remainder - especially given my points above.
Secondly, (again, just to gain a better understanding) . Your initial reading made mention of some sort of relationship. I fully acknowledge that your readings are not predictive, (and that is certainly not my inference, and never was my expectation at any stage), but I wondered what the comments refered to. Given my acceptance of the points above (which to be honest, i see as a positive, even if some people may view my stance as negative in some way). My view is being realistic and not so naive, as for eg, if I hadn't have trusted my gut intution that something wasn't right with the sex maniac you refer to, I would have ended up down a very depressing , not to mention dangerous path. I would also add by the way, that this man has started stalking me as you warned (I have taken as many remedial provisions as I can, before you ask)
Again, not my intention to continue this theme of (potential view by others depending on their stance? ) 'negativity' of some sort, but to quote facts , my experiences of the past 2 months.
- I met someone that was later outed (by someone professionally trained) a patholigical sociopatha(he displayed the same traits and motives as the individual you mentioned earlier, but thankfully I wasn't embroiled into S&M etc). He pretended to be completely in love with me ( just to know that he could have my heart - in secret he felt nothing for me) then callously ditched me, without a second thought, as he got some sort of sadistic pleasure out of it (this was confirmed by a 3rd party - a professional, not my assumption of the situation).
The others havexperienced have been people that I consider father figures that have shown no respect for me (or better explained as not reciprocating my respect for them in that sacrosanct capacity, and have tried to use me for sex (40 years plus older than me I might add), and no, I did nothing than be friendly towards them, the same way I am to female friends (I am heterosexual), and I had no conscious agenda (nor ddi I oblige before anyone assumes so/asks etc).
The most recent, has done the same as the individual you described (this is a different man though). I met him very recently. He sang my praises , seemed decent. The same has transpired of him (he disappeared). Ahead of his disapperance , it was revealed that he prefers short term engagments, is 'seriously interested' to quote his exact words in group sex. I have no interest in non monogomous engagements of that nature , as you are aware.
So essentially, I am just wondering if that this point, you agree that just accepting that my life is simpler and happier, cutting the topic of my love life out is the way forward? I am of course more than happy to accept it if this is one query too far, consitutes a second reading, or is simply too much or too complex etc to ask of you. I sincerely hope my asking this doesn't cause any offence. I'm just not sure where else to go, but as I said, fully understand if you can't engage.
I will just go by my gut intuition which is to enjoy what I do have, live for what I do have, write the past negativity off and just accept that relationships, marriage etc, are part of others futures etc, and this isn't anything to be bitter etc about, and embrace that and move forward positively with that.
Thanks
JC
I hope that you are well. I am sorry for yet another post, but I was just wondering if I could get a better understanding of things in general.
Firstly, it is not my intention to sound defeatist or negative as some might say ( but to be honest, in my view, realistic).
- You will recall that mention was made (I can't remember on whose part between our exchange), that is is acceptable/reasonable that committed love is not intended for some people in this lifetime, they have other life journeys/higher priority lessons to learn. I don't necessarily think that this is a negative thing.
As to be honest, I am happy with the remainder of my life, and all engagments seem to do with men, is add stress and avoiable complications to my life. This is fact spanning 31 years.
- For example, you yourself outlined an incredibly dysfunctional situation with the man mentioned in your penultimate post, of being extremley manipulative, with his sole interest in duping me and stripping me of my self respect, then dumping me like a piece of garbage, as were your words.
I might not have said it explicitly until now, however your comments reflected a (to date spanning 32 years - consistent experience throughout my lifetime of men in my life).
- Off the back of this, (and it is not my intention to put you into an awkward corner (and you of course do not have to comment) - but perhaps you can see a bit more why I'd prefer not to experience this sort of thing again, and also am sceptical as to whether this will ever change given the breeding pattern at 32. It is emotionally exhausting to be honest, and as mentioned, my life isgood in every other respect.
I am well, have good friends ,a great social life and very lucky in other respects, and am grateful for this. Hence why my view was to just accept what I do have, adn forget the remainder - especially given my points above.
Secondly, (again, just to gain a better understanding) . Your initial reading made mention of some sort of relationship. I fully acknowledge that your readings are not predictive, (and that is certainly not my inference, and never was my expectation at any stage), but I wondered what the comments refered to. Given my acceptance of the points above (which to be honest, i see as a positive, even if some people may view my stance as negative in some way). My view is being realistic and not so naive, as for eg, if I hadn't have trusted my gut intution that something wasn't right with the sex maniac you refer to, I would have ended up down a very depressing , not to mention dangerous path. I would also add by the way, that this man has started stalking me as you warned (I have taken as many remedial provisions as I can, before you ask)
Again, not my intention to continue this theme of (potential view by others depending on their stance? ) 'negativity' of some sort, but to quote facts , my experiences of the past 2 months.
- I met someone that was later outed (by someone professionally trained) a patholigical sociopatha(he displayed the same traits and motives as the individual you mentioned earlier, but thankfully I wasn't embroiled into S&M etc). He pretended to be completely in love with me ( just to know that he could have my heart - in secret he felt nothing for me) then callously ditched me, without a second thought, as he got some sort of sadistic pleasure out of it (this was confirmed by a 3rd party - a professional, not my assumption of the situation).
The others havexperienced have been people that I consider father figures that have shown no respect for me (or better explained as not reciprocating my respect for them in that sacrosanct capacity, and have tried to use me for sex (40 years plus older than me I might add), and no, I did nothing than be friendly towards them, the same way I am to female friends (I am heterosexual), and I had no conscious agenda (nor ddi I oblige before anyone assumes so/asks etc).
The most recent, has done the same as the individual you described (this is a different man though). I met him very recently. He sang my praises , seemed decent. The same has transpired of him (he disappeared). Ahead of his disapperance , it was revealed that he prefers short term engagments, is 'seriously interested' to quote his exact words in group sex. I have no interest in non monogomous engagements of that nature , as you are aware.
So essentially, I am just wondering if that this point, you agree that just accepting that my life is simpler and happier, cutting the topic of my love life out is the way forward? I am of course more than happy to accept it if this is one query too far, consitutes a second reading, or is simply too much or too complex etc to ask of you. I sincerely hope my asking this doesn't cause any offence. I'm just not sure where else to go, but as I said, fully understand if you can't engage.
I will just go by my gut intuition which is to enjoy what I do have, live for what I do have, write the past negativity off and just accept that relationships, marriage etc, are part of others futures etc, and this isn't anything to be bitter etc about, and embrace that and move forward positively with that.
Thanks
JC
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eye_of_tiger
- Site Admin
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- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:47 am
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Would it be the best way for who to move forward? You in your life? Or the two of us in these readings? The answer to both questions would be NO.So essentially, I am just wondering if that this point, you agree that just accepting that my life is simpler and happier, cutting the topic of my love life out is the way forward?
I am so sorry that you have had bad experiences with men in the past, but your love life is an important part of who you are as a person and therefore cannot be simply cut out completely of the picture as a way of either you or us moving forward.
You do not need or deserve the bad experiences, but you do need and deserve to feel loved (and to share the love which you feel in your heart, with whoever you choose).
But having said the above what you are asking me to do now through a free reading absolutely requires the professional expertise of a trained psychologist or relationship counselor.
I would be happy to continue to provide you with emotional and moral support through my readings while you are simultaneously having counseling/therapy sessions with a qualified professional, but free psychic readings cannot and must never be used as a complete substitute for professional advice.
Only to be used to complement and support the professional advice and treatment.
Namaste,
EoT :smt031
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