advice on a trip

[samsr]

I just booked a trip to go visit a friend that lives far away. We have a great bond, she lives in a really nice place and I used to love to go there but after some things that happened in there in the past years, it feels like hell the thought of going back. I am really having second thoughts about going... which I never EVER thought I would... should I go or should I trust my instincts and just cancel the ticket?

[eye_of_tiger]

should I go or should I trust my instincts and just cancel the ticket?

I cannot either tell you to go or not to go, but my advice is that your instincts can be trusted as accurate and reliable.

BUT THAT YOU SHOULD STILL GO.

On the surface this probably looks to you as though I am contradicting myself.

Surely if you trusted your instincts with the thought of going back there feeling like hell you would NOT be going, and yet I am advising the complete opposite response, which seems highly illogical.

And that is the important point here. Intuitive advice often looks highly illogical, unless you look deeper at what is really going on underneath.

If you go there focusing upon the reasons why it feels like hell to return to this site of such bad memories, then there is a very good chance that you will create a negative self fulfilling prophecy by doing so.

By expecting the bad memories to flood back when you visit your friend, you are actually attracting into your life the very factors which are most likely to make that happen, and once this happens the bad memories will make you feel as though only bad things will continue to happen between you into the future.

So in summary go to visit your friend, but at the same time focus upon any good times which you have spent together in the past, and instead of creating a negative self fulfilling prophecy, create the total opposite effect.

A positive self fulfilling prophecy!

It is LESS about whether or not you should go to visit your friend this time which will ultimately decide what happens between the both of you in the future in still remaining each other's friends, but it is MORE about your attitudes towards the visit before you go, as well as what thoughts your mind most regularly and strongly focuses upon while you are there.

Understood?

The strength of your friendship over the longer term will depend heavily upon how you respond when there are conflicts or disagreements between you (which is inevitable), and your responses on each occasion will in turn be mainly shaped by your expectations and attitudes towards the perceived most likely outcome of each of your subsequent visits.

PHEW! WHAT A MOUTH FULL THE ABOVE SENTENCE WAS TO TYPE.

Go and visit her with both my blessings and advice, and everything should turn out OK.

Regards,

EoT  :smt056