In need of general guidance

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AresChain
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Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2013 9:57 pm
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In need of general guidance

Post by AresChain » Wed Sep 09, 2015 8:22 pm

Hi, I hope this finds you all well.

I've posted on here a few times concerning the same situation, just that now it's a break up instead of a relationship.

My ex and I broke up rather horribly at the end of May and I spent all of June doing absolutely nothing, just stewing in my depression, in bed, hoping that he'd return. Fortunately he never did and I eventually realized I needed to get out of bed and out of the sadness so I booked a trip out of the country. I had a great time and I met a guy who I ended up sleeping with a few times.

When I returned from the trip in August, the ex popped back into my life and decided that he needed to apologize and reopen old wounds in the form of trying to be in my life again. I sincerely thought this would never happen. We'd been on and off before, but never to the extent of not seeing each other or speaking for months. I was angry at his resurrection because I felt it undid all the progress I had made within the last month when I was abroad. My ex wanted to talk things out and so I did but that didn't resolve anything because I pressed on the issue after the talk. Then we ended up sleeping together again, but then he got angry with me all over again because I was honest and told him I'd slept with someone else. He had not, however, and he was annoyed at my defense that we'd never see each other again. But it was a break up, that's exactly what I thought. Well after we slept together he just got more angry with me, just like in our relationship. And it just felt like he was ending things with me all over again so I reverted back to the depression I was feeling earlier in the summer, except that now I'm expecting him to renter my life again, as he apparently usually does, and I've started classes again so it's a mild distraction throughout the day.

I'm almost positive he's gone for good now, he said farewell and is ignoring all forms of communication and isn't reaching out to me in anyway, signifying what it always signifies, that he's done once again. I also said some pretty awful things the last time I contacted him in defense of my feelings that he was hurting by not reaching out to me.

It's like he couldn't bother to try and work on things even after he was the first to reach out, and now I just feel used and sad all over again.

I've even started going to therapy for this exact reason and I've realized I have misplaced hope in that he'll pop up again in my life. And I'm not sure if I want him to or not; I feel emotionally manipulated and angry. It's also my first relationship ever.

I guess the guidance I need is about whether or not he'll pop up again in my life and what the future has in store for me. Will the depression ever go away and will I move on successfully? Or will I continue on this path of loneliness and dispair? I have the one friend I can talk to and my sister and no one else. I'm in college but I'm all alone all of the time unless I'm with my best friend who also suffers from major depression.

Thank you for your kind, healing words in advance.

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eye_of_tiger
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Post by eye_of_tiger » Fri Sep 11, 2015 1:00 am

hoping that he'd return. Fortunately he never did
The above quote is very informative. Clearly you still have feelings for your ex, but it was at the time a welcome relief from your dysfunctional relationship constantly dragging you down.

Since the relationship is over, sleeping with someone else is entirely your business, and you could hardly be accused of being unfaithful to your ex because your relationship with him no longer exists, at least in it's original form. How can you be unfaithful to someone if you are not currently in any physical relationship with them at the time? Or at least this is what logic would tell you.

While you are no longer physically in a relationship with him, energetically you still are (your energy fields are still connected to each other), and when he heard that you had slept with someone else, suddenly what had previously looked like he was completely over you suddenly became indignation that you would do such a thing to him.

Although this is your reading and I cannot read him directly via third party, I believe that his unexpected reaction is a symptom of the fact that he is at least unconsciously aware of the energy cords which still hold you together with each other. And the reading similarly tells me that your current depression is basically for the same reason.

It is a symptom that you are still energetically "handcuffed" to him. Until you are able to disrupt and eventually break the energy bonds which still hold you to him (and hold him to you) neither of you will be able to move forwards into new relationships as there will always be three people instead of two in any new relationship which you have. Understood?

There is a special visualisation technique which deals with exactly your problem.

It is called DECORDING. On the following web page is a more detailed explanation of the problem, as well as its possible solution, and a script is included which you can either use as it already is, or you can modify it for your own situation. This script which is basically a guided meditation should be either recorded for you to play back to yourself during a series of meditation sessions, or it can be quietly spoken by someone else while you meditate.

http://processcoaching.com/decording.html
As you become more aware of your psychic energy during the Running Energy practice, you may notice 'cords' between yourself and an other person. By definition, a cord is an obsolete or unwanted energy connection with another............Although cording is a result of an unconscious agreement between two beings, it takes only one person to decide they no longer wish to participate in the agreement. Here is a script you can use to easily and safely remove cords, and free yourself from unwanted energy attachments with others.
Please try this method for at least 14 consecutive days. The session should be no longer than 15 minutes in length. Ten is usually more than enough.
After the two weeks are up, please return to this thread and let me know how you went.

Just a warning that as with many healing methods especially in the earlier stages, it is likely to stir up your repressed emotions. In theory for a while it could make you feel even more emotionally upset or depressed, when compared to how upset or depressed you felt before you started using it. This is a sign that it is working, and not a sign that you are going backwards as it might seem to you that it is.

Hang in there. Take better care of yourself while you go through this difficult stage. You will find that the improvement in your body, mind and spirit will be more than worth the journey. I am also sending positive, supportive healing energies in your direction to make this easier for you.

Most of the benefits of my healing prayers and thoughts will happen while you are asleep but not dreaming, so do not feel guilty if you go to bed earlier, as a deep sleep state is needed for the maximum transfer of this healing energy. Unless your doctor specifically prescribes sleeping tablets, try to avoid using them if at all possible, and then only in the short term.

But if your doctor has prescribed antidepressant or anti anxiety medications  for you, it is critically important that you keep taking them as instructed. As long as you do not exceed the prescribed dose they will actually enhance and not as you might think interfere with the decording exercise.

Love, Light and Healing,

EoT  :smt049

AresChain
Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2013 9:57 pm
Location: New York City, NY

Post by AresChain » Sat Sep 12, 2015 7:14 am

Thank you so much for your reply!

I will be sure to engage in this technique and will inform you as to the results once I'm finished.

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eye_of_tiger
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Post by eye_of_tiger » Sat Sep 12, 2015 10:04 pm

Ares,  :)

You are always welcome.

I look forward to receiving your feedback about whether you believe that the decording exercise helped you, as this information could also be useful to other members in a similar  situation to yours.

Stay healthy,

EoT

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