Any advice for me

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decentgal
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Joined: Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:38 am

Any advice for me

Post by decentgal » Thu Dec 17, 2015 9:05 am

Hello

I am looking for some psychic advice for the coming months which seem stressful and busy.I am asking this because i recently had an anxiety attack after carrying  this stress for the last many months.I also see the situation is not improving in the near future but i really got scared after the anxiety attack episode.I had to get some outside help.I am trying to tell my mind that i can handle it and i will not go there again.

I need some advice too.Will be grateful to get your input.

Blessings

Hina

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eye_of_tiger
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Post by eye_of_tiger » Fri Dec 18, 2015 12:22 am

Hello Hina,

Having myself suffered from anxiety/panic attacks in the past plus at least one major stress breakdown, it is that horrible feeling of not feeling in control of my body or emotions which was to me the most frightening part of the experience. I actually had all the typical symptoms of a heart attack including a crushing pain in my chest and a sharp pain down my left arm. But all their cardiac testing came up negative and completely normal. Normal that is for someone who knows all about depression and anxiety over many years, and who was at the time attempting to juggle a full teaching load at the local high school with chronic illness, and his marriage. I also had to get professional help with my problems, which made me feel even worse because men of my generation were often bought up to regard having to get help as a sign of weakness. When the truth is that it is actually a sign of immense inner strength and a determination and commitment to yourself to get better.

So being psychic or intuitive does not make a person automatically immune to the same worries, medical conditions and life challenges faced by anyone else. I am sorry to have to disappoint you in admitting that I do not know exactly what future awaits you. I do not have a magic formula or psychic advice for taking all of your stresses away from you, especially as so much of that stress comes from within you. But there are a couple of things which I have learned in the school of hard knocks which I would be more than pleased to share with you, as I have already done with many of our members since I began helping on here.

1. You can never get rid of all stress, but there are ways to significantly boost your ability to deal with the stresses which you are under. Much of our diSTRESS is caused not by what happens to us, but rather it is the consequence of what we are telling ourselves about what is happening to us. If we see every challenge as a glass already half full, with plenty of opportunities and time left for it to be filled all the way to the top then we will be more optimistic or hopeful about our future being even better than our past. If on the other hand we view every challenge as a half empty glass, then we are going to become anxious and over defensive because of  a fear that the level of fluid in the glass is dangerously low, and that we might at any time end up with an empty glass. This pessimistic habit of viewing every big or small obstacle as a rapidly emptying glass places a lot of extra pressure and stress upon our bodies and minds, until things reach a crisis point where they let us know in no uncertain terms that enough is more than enough by making us feel that we are losing control over them.

Then we start telling ourselves we are dangerously ill, are having a heart attack, are probably dying, we cannot possibly cope, things will never get better, it will always be like this or worse. We hypnotise ourselves into believing that nothing that we can do is going to help, and that anything we do is only going to make things worse. Psychologists call this catastrophising. I call it the best possible way to guarantee that you are going to have an anxiety or panic attack. Change (with or without professional help) what you are telling yourself about your ability to cope with whatever life throws at you to a more positive, optimistic attitude, and you are well over half way to giving your anxiety attacks the boot.

2. Much of our inner stress comes from either the past, or our anticipated future. And what actually happens to us in the future is often nowhere near as bad or hopeless as we imagined that it would be. Do you really see the situation as not improving in the near future, or are you anticipating that the situation can never improve? The general advice therefore is for each of us to learn to focus more on what we are doing in the present moment. This does not necessarily mean that we should not make any plans or not prepare for what the future might hold in store for us. Make your plans, but do not make them so rigid and inflexible that if the situation changes between now and then you are unable to change the plans accordingly. One of the basic requirements for your survival and peace of mind is that you can  successfully adapt to changes, and change is one thing that you can always depend upon happening. Whether you are eating a meal, gardening, praying, meditating, exercising, making love or washing the dishes put as much of your energy and attention (which focuses the energy even more) into whatever you are doing at the present moment.

For that relatively short period of time, temporarily forget the past (as it is history) and stop worrying about things which either may or may never happen in the future. The anticipated future is often considerably worse and much more scary than the actual future could ever turn out to be. Put at least 90% of your body, mind and spirit into the present task, and about the same fraction of your anxiety should be immediately short-circuited or neutralized. The Universe/God will often only give us whatever outer and inner resources which we will need to meet a particular challenge, when the time for that challenge arrives (and NOT before it arrives).

Love, Light and Healing,

EoT :smt109

decentgal
Posts: 90
Joined: Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:38 am

Post by decentgal » Sun Dec 20, 2015 2:34 pm

Thank you EoT for valuable advice.
I will keep your suggestions in mind.Iwill keep reminding myself about it.
I also lost control over myself during anxiety attack.But you know i feel i have been handling things in a controlled manner for many many years and it had to happen.I never knew this is going to feel so worst.I had  breathing problems.I was avoiding congested places ,washroom,toilets.Was crying for no reason .Everything felt so alien and unfamiliar.I was scared like hell of everything .I am also a teacher in a university and carrying the stress of teaching for so long without any breaks ,financial problems,relationships with siblings ,studies and no romantic love took toll on me.Life is colorless right now  and i know there are many who are living with out having a romantic relationship and i should be able to cope with it and other stressing issues but it got frustrating and i am scared that it will repeat again if i don't make changes that could bring peace to me . .

But anyways thank you again .It does matter a lot.

blessings to you always

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eye_of_tiger
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Post by eye_of_tiger » Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:33 pm

Dear Hina,

You are very welcome.

Not that this probably gives you much comfort, but people who are highly intelligent, overachievers who put a lot of pressure upon themselves to constantly perform at an unrealistically high standard, are often particularly prone to developing these conditions.

For a person like yourself who deals successfully with most of her problems using logic and reason, and whom prides herself on always feeling in control of every situation, an anxiety or panic attack represents to you the ultimate betrayal of your own body, mind and emotions.

And punishing yourself for feeling the way that you do which is a completely automatic response, is only guaranteed to make the attacks significantly worse and more frequent when compared to before, and go a long way towards making the condition almost impossible to treat.

This is one situation where consciously forcing yourself and trying harder next time to control what is by definition beyond your conscious control, is only likely to make matters considerably worse.

Increased self love, going easier on yourself and enlisting the help of a qualified professional are your greatest defence against unwittingly making your anxiety or panic attacks more permanent.

There are very few people who have come to any serious, lasting harm as a direct result of having one of these attacks.

By convincing yourself that there is something terribly wrong with you that the doctors are missing and that this is a sign that you could be dying (when all the medical tests say that you are completely healthy, and could potentially see your 100th birthday) the adrenal glands which sit on the top of your kidneys will release even more stress producing chemicals into your bloodstream, which is what is responsible for your attacks in the first place.

Get all the help that you need and deserve with this, and as soon a possible.

L&L,

EoT :smt032

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