Direction

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stephybabes92
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Direction

Post by stephybabes92 » Thu Mar 30, 2017 7:05 pm

So I am in need of some advice and for some reason I felt the need to come here, rather than to a life coach or some other career/life advisor.

Basically I don't know what I should be doing with my life.

I am 25 years old which many will say is young but I have a business degree and I graduated FOUR years ago now and have not gained much progress. I'll be honest, I didn't really TRY to find a graduate job when everyone else in the class was. So due to life being of the nature that what you put in, you get out, they all have very good jobs and salaries and I have a mediocre job that you don't even need a degree to do and I am poorly paid. I am also feeling unfulfilled in terms of my job is to process process process and I am not using my degree if that makes sense?

I feel that the reason I haven't committed to a career fully yet is because I have spent most of my life doing what I think others (my parents) think I should do. In the past I've let other people influence me to the point that when I do have my own decision to make for once, I can't make it. Then whenever I try to make a decision my confidence in that decision is battered by them telling me all of the reasons why I shouldn't do it. In most areas of life. It feels like when I won't make a decision they say I need to make one but when I do they basically redirect me round to doing what they wanted me to do in the first place.

Despite all of this I do feel there are many areas that I could work in and do well in, it's just a case of deciding what I would truly enjoy before making that total commitment. I'm an all or nothing person and I'm scared to commit to a career.

Could someone take a look at this for me and let me know if they see a career path for me?
x x x x x x x x Stephanie x x x x x x x x
             Live a life of love
                  Jesus is Lord! †

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eye_of_tiger
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Re: Direction

Post by eye_of_tiger » Fri Mar 31, 2017 12:01 am

Dear Stephanie,

Unfortunately the "all or nothing" and "there is only one career path that I can take approach" to finding a job these days, no longer works.

In the job market of the 21st century it is no longer an advantage for a person to be trained for a particular job or career path, as many of the jobs we do now will be done by robots (automation) within the next 20 or so years, and how can you train for a job which does not yet exist?

The answer is that instead of training for a specific job, workers need to develop a wide variety of different job skills, one or more of which can be quickly adapted to the constantly changing and evolving needs of that country's economy.

This means that if a particular career path becomes blocked to you for whatever reason, some of your skills may instead be put to good use in a completely different direction.

You might well be thinking to yourself while reading this that you do not have any such skills to draw upon which an employer in another field might regard as an asset to his or her company.

As you said yourself you have been for most of your life up until now been strongly influenced by other people (especially your parents) when making major decisions such as this one, and as a result your self confidence in being able to make these decisions by and for yourself is understandably at an all time low.

You have been beating up on yourself for a long time for not following your friends into a profession that seemed consistent at the time with your level of education, which in turn can only destroy what little self confidence you had left.

You are angry at yourself for making what appears on the surface to have been a bad or wrong decision not to do the same as your friends, as if there was only one career path for you to have taken that would have been a good or right decision.

The important lesson which this reading is bringing with it to you is that in many aspects of our lives when we are forced to choose between several different alternative directions, there was never in the past one good and right decision with all the other pathways being bad or wrong.

Instead of good or bad or right or wrong decisions, there are only different decisions. With each of these decisions having different consequences. You made your decision to take this job based upon the best information which was available to you at the time as well as your emotional readiness for entering the job market, and constantly punishing yourself for making it as you did could eventually make you unemployable.

I feel that it is now the best time for you consult your career/life advisor.

Instead of him or her helping you to develop a career profile, you need to work together to build your skills profile. Skills which can be quickly and easily adapted to a wide range of jobs, including jobs which may not yet exist. Just having good grades and being willing to work hard at your job are not going to be enough by themselves in the 21st century.

The modern worker also needs to be much more flexible and adaptable in his or her approach. Job applicants who cannot or will not change their outdated and rigid ways of thinking about what job they would like to do, or what one job they could do well at are going to get left behind.

If you stubbornly hold on to the belief (conscious or unconscious)........

1. That everybody else knows better that you do what is the good and right decision for you to make.

AND

2. That there is always only one good and right choice for you to make, with all the other choices being bad or wrong.

AND

3. That once you have made a decision, then changing your mind and making a different one is a sign of your lack of intelligence or commitment to finding a satisfying job.

THEN

You are likely to remain underemployed and unchallenged, or at worst without any job.

BUT THIS DOES NOT HAVE TO HAPPEN. YOUR FUTURE IS NOT SOMEHOW PREDESTINED, OR SET IN STONE. IN OTHER WORDS, BY LETTING GO OF THESE NEGATIVE SELF DEFEATING BELIEFS, YOU COULD SIGNIFICANTLY IMPROVE ALL FUTURE OUTCOMES FOR YOURSELF, INCLUDING BUT NOT CONFINED TO YOUR WORK LIFE.

Your reading also tells me that if you had a professional counselor/advisor to help you learn to slowly but surely let go in turn of each of these three self sabotaging beliefs, that you would have a much better chance of turning things around for yourself in a more positive direction confidence and job wise, sooner rather than much later.

You owe it to yourself to have the best professional help which you can find and afford on your side, in order to maximize your chances of finding a more challenging, satisfying and better paid position than you have now.

You are the only person in the end who has the right and ability to make these choices for yourself, but having a little professional assistance would it is felt go a long way towards speeding up your rate of progress in a better direction for you to take in earning an honest living.

Onward and Upward,

Brian :smt032

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stephybabes92
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Re: Direction

Post by stephybabes92 » Fri Apr 07, 2017 7:13 pm

Hi Brian, hope you're well and thanks for the response.

That is actually a really interesting way of looking at the situation - I like that you feel people with a broader range of skills, rather than depth, will do better in the ever changing market. However, I can't change who I am - I am all or nothing and what I mean by that is when I decide what it is I want to do I will launch myself into that subject and become as much of an expert as I can, I will devote hours reading about it to the point where i can become obsessive and really passionate. So I think whatever I choose needs to have lasting power but also needs to be a skilled profession.

Did you not receive any intuitive insight for what my strengths may be or where my future career could lie?
x x x x x x x x Stephanie x x x x x x x x
             Live a life of love
                  Jesus is Lord! †

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stephybabes92
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Re: Direction

Post by stephybabes92 » Fri Apr 07, 2017 7:41 pm

I'm sorry Brian I didn't mean to disregard what you said about people who don't have a variety of skills being left behind - I do agree with you its just I would like some sort of indication as to what area or skill would be best suited to me as I already think there is a variety of things I could do
x x x x x x x x Stephanie x x x x x x x x
             Live a life of love
                  Jesus is Lord! †

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Re: Direction

Post by eye_of_tiger » Fri Apr 07, 2017 11:54 pm

Stephanie,

You cannot significantly change who you are, but you can educate yourself and widen your job skill set, in order to adapt to the rapidly changing and evolving job market.

You are missing the point.

The old idea that we come into this world with certain qualifications relevant to only one particular career direction or job in which we will achieve success (and that we will fail in any others), and that a psychic can accurately and reliably without any other background information about us tell you what that optimum career path or dream job will be is worn out and outdated. And unnecessarily restricting in what choices you think that you can make.

The best two people in the world to determine what particular job skills and qualities of character you already possess which could be adapted to different jobs or in some cases to jobs which do not yet exist, and those job skills and personality strengths which it would be to your advantage to develop to at least get your foot into the door of opportunity are YOU and YOUR CAREER GUIDANCE OFFICER (in that order).

This is because I lack all of the other information about you which could have a large bearing upon the outcome. What were your best subjects at school, what type of jobs have you had before, why are you looking for a different one, how well do you function as part of a team, how well do you cope with stressful situations etc? A career guidance officer would also have detailed and updated knowledge about what types of jobs are most likely to be available in your local area. There is little point in him or her sending you in one career direction, if that career is already on the way out or it is one in which you are unlikely to find such a position locally (assuming you plan to stay in that area over the longer term, and are unwilling to move to where that type of job is still in demand).

I could of course give you a reading using basic numerology (I may have done this already) which would offer you some very general indicators of your most likely to be successful in career direction, but this would be virtually useless without all of the other information available to your guidance officer. Also I feel that such a reading can give the mistaken idea that you can only be successful in that career or job, and that you should therefore forget thinking about changing it, as the employment market itself changes.

It might sound to you as though I am making excuses for not giving you a career reading at this moment in time, or that I feel that giving you such a reading would have no value whatsoever. Neither of these is true. I strongly believe that a career guidance officer is your best option at this particular stage of your journey. I think that I would be doing you a great disservice by encouraging you to develop a severe case of tunnel vision when looking for your next job. Instead of widening your horizons to new possibilities which you may not have even thought of up until now, such readings often tend to instead narrow your focus in one direction only, frequently based upon inadequate and static information.

The main message of this reading is that you need to find a trusted career guidance officer to help you with this ASAP.

Any attempts by me or anyone else for that matter to point you in one career direction through a reading would be highly counterproductive to you getting a job, and could potentially make you unemployable because your ideas about your best career would be so rigid or inflexible. Rigid or inflexible ideas about what your ideal career or job is and a constantly changing and shifting employment market are not compatible with each other, especially in the 21st century and beyond.

Regards,

Brian :smt007

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stephybabes92
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Re: Direction

Post by stephybabes92 » Sat Apr 08, 2017 10:25 am

Okay. Valid points made. Now to find a career coach!

My current job, although poorly paid, does have incentives to grow more in IT but who knows when. For this reason I will be careful to jump ship.
x x x x x x x x Stephanie x x x x x x x x
             Live a life of love
                  Jesus is Lord! †

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FINAL COMMENTS

Post by eye_of_tiger » Sun Apr 09, 2017 12:09 am

Stephanie,

I do not wish to appear rude or insensitive, but I am not particularly interested in scoring points (valid or otherwise), as if this was a debate or a game which I am trying to win at all costs.

This is about your career, and your life in general.

I take this all very seriously.

I am not attempting to impress you with my intuitive abilities, or convince you that I know better than you do what is in your best interests.

Instead of waiting passively for these incentives to grow more in IT, ask your career advisor to help you to carefully examine (or do it yourself) what job skills that you already possess which could be to your advantage when or if these incentives appear, or job skills and personal qualities which you could possibly develop between now and then with the intention to achieve the same positive outcome.

To find a career coach who you can trust and afford in your local area (and get on their appointment list), try the phone book or internet.

Once again I repeat that if you remain entirely passive and do nothing to help yourself to gain a more satisfying and better paid position (just wait and see if anything changes without any effort on your part), then the chances of any improvement in your situation sooner rather than later, will be close to zero.

If you instead adopt a more active and practical but at the same time realistic approach to solving your current difficulties, while your chances of success will never reach the 100% mark, they must surely be significantly higher than they would have been if you done nothing, and had depended upon luck alone.

Active instead of passive,

Brian :smt023

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