I was wondering if someone would be so kind to give me a reading to help provide me with some insight and guidance right now, as I’m feeling in quite a low point in my life. I just finished my 3rd year of a graduate program in clinical psychology to get my PhD (5 year program). I’ve had a myriad of obstacles one after another the past five years that has been really difficult, and it seems like no matter how much resilience and perseverance I’ve demonstrated to get through these, it has not been rewarded because things just keep going more wrong.
In a nutshell, a huge primary source of my issues was a psychopathic, con-artist ex boyfriend who ended up stealing all my savings and putting me into over $25,000 in debt after my first year of school. He was like a cancer, which has had a ripple effect in my life I have been unsuccessful at stopping. My second year I ended up living in horrible stressful living conditions because I had very limited options of housing with the position my ex left me in. It was extremely stressful to push through, but I stayed in school and worked through all the extra stress and hardship, although it wasn’t always easy or graceful. Although I have done very well with my therapy and assessment classes, I also ended up running into delays and extra complications with my master’s research due to bad guidance from my advisor, which is a long story but led to a chain of other extremely stressful events. I missed the deadline for defending because my advisor did not give me proper feedback in time and things in the document still needed to be corrected to adapt to his original bad guidance (although I’m held responsible). My advisor has also been an ongoing source of anxiety for me as he can be quite a bully.
However, this year in particular was the hardest. I had an unplanned pregnancy starting in Jan (I did not know until March) which was unhealthy, and I had to terminate it. My new bf and I also were extremely stressed with having to move at the end of April (the movers came a week after my procedure). This period was beyond overwhelming. This all happened when covid-19 restrictions started, so it was extra stressful. I was just trying to survive this period and I was looking forward to the relief and comfort of moving back home with my father in May, where I could catch my breath for a second and defend my thesis during the summer. However, my step-mother was very cruel and had some sort of issue with me,, and my father side-stepped me a lot and she kicked me out. I used to be very close with my father but his actions really caused me a lot of heartache and hardship. The family stress was so overwhelming, as well as the stress of having to find a place to live at the last minute (also having to stay at a cabin with no internet in the interim), that I couldn’t attend to my school stuff.
My anxiety has been so bad all year. When I first arrived home in May I was so overwhelmed, but gradually working on getting just enough strength to to defend my thesis in July so that I could take a break. But when this family stuff happened it really put me back. I’m so anxious now because I ended up getting in a lot of trouble with my school for not registering or applying for a leave this summer(I was planning on registering and defending originally online), as I was not able to reach out to faculty until the second week of august. Now I can’t even register for the fall semester to defend and have to wait until next January.
I’m just devastated as I really wanted my thesis wrapped up, as it's been such a source of constant anxiety,,, so that I could take a leave of absence for a year and fully focus on my self-care and mental health (and also work with my degree to save money). Trying to find a silver lining, my plan was to see if I could transfer to another university closer to home for the remainder of my degree that would be a better environment for my mental health. But now that is not a possibility because my research is not defended. It’s so important to me to get this PhD degree,,, I think I've given a lot of 'good karma' so to speak, I know I've made a difference in many therapy client's lives who were suffering from anxiety and depression. I’ve worked so hard, been resilient, persevered through all the hardship and suffering and tried to stay positive for a silver lining, but I can’t help it-it really just seems like universe isn’t on my side.
I’m in the process of seeking out proper mental health help (given my degree I understand its value), and my mother, step-father, and boyfriend (who’s known me for 13 yrs) are very supportive and worried about me. However, I would also to seek some spiritual guidance on my current situation. Why has my life been so hard? I don’t want to stay in this dark place, but how do I finally get out of this phase of everything going wrong and constant suffering? No matter what I try, almost all my worst fears have come true the past few years. My grandmother used to say that “everything happens for a reason”, but I’m having a really hard time seeing any reason in this.
Reading Request? ;/
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Re: Reading Request? ;/
Dearest Allie,
I have been working with your request over the last few days, and I have come to the conclusion that the size and complexity of your many life challenges, could not be be given the attention and respect that you and your boyfriend deserve, through an amateur mini reading, as given on this website.
In other words I believe that you should either consider getting a reading from a professional psychic (which I have never claimed to be), or alternately continue with the course of actions which you are already on.
It is entirely your decision to make, but in my opinion I would avoid consulting a professional psychic at least at this stage, as you are in an almost continual state of mourning or grieving, having, lost so much and so many people throughout your life, through no fault of your own.
The physical and psychological wounds of the termination of your recent unplanned pregnancy are still very raw, and well intended advice from an empathic person like myself or the misuse of some fancy new age platitude, could do significant harm on so many different levels.
You have every valid reason to feel anxious about your overall situation. Do not allow anyone (professional or non professional) to minimise or normalise the seriousness of it all. I would not be able to sleep at night if you got the wrong idea if I did not respond at all, that I did not care about what is happening to you or that I had placed you in the too hard basket.
Continuing to seek out out proper mental health help is definitely the best way for you to move forwards with your life again.
As your friend and as a person who has battled with chronic anxiety and depression for most of his adult life, I am very impressed with your courage and intelligence. I wish you both good health and all the best of good fortune in your life from now on, as I believe that you so richly deserve to have.
I am here for you, but at the same time I recognise my own limits in being able to help you through a reading. Particularly when the entire planet and our loved ones are currently in the grip of a major pandemic, which seems to have no end in sight at present, I think that we ALL have to be more compassionate towards ourselves at this most difficult of times, more than we have ever had to be kind to ourselves, before this health and economic crisis was imposed upon us with little warning.
Please take good care of yourself, and I will do the same.
Love, Light and Healing from your friend and his family,
Brian
![:smt049](./images/smilies/049.gif)
I have been working with your request over the last few days, and I have come to the conclusion that the size and complexity of your many life challenges, could not be be given the attention and respect that you and your boyfriend deserve, through an amateur mini reading, as given on this website.
In other words I believe that you should either consider getting a reading from a professional psychic (which I have never claimed to be), or alternately continue with the course of actions which you are already on.
It is entirely your decision to make, but in my opinion I would avoid consulting a professional psychic at least at this stage, as you are in an almost continual state of mourning or grieving, having, lost so much and so many people throughout your life, through no fault of your own.
The physical and psychological wounds of the termination of your recent unplanned pregnancy are still very raw, and well intended advice from an empathic person like myself or the misuse of some fancy new age platitude, could do significant harm on so many different levels.
You have every valid reason to feel anxious about your overall situation. Do not allow anyone (professional or non professional) to minimise or normalise the seriousness of it all. I would not be able to sleep at night if you got the wrong idea if I did not respond at all, that I did not care about what is happening to you or that I had placed you in the too hard basket.
Continuing to seek out out proper mental health help is definitely the best way for you to move forwards with your life again.
As your friend and as a person who has battled with chronic anxiety and depression for most of his adult life, I am very impressed with your courage and intelligence. I wish you both good health and all the best of good fortune in your life from now on, as I believe that you so richly deserve to have.
I am here for you, but at the same time I recognise my own limits in being able to help you through a reading. Particularly when the entire planet and our loved ones are currently in the grip of a major pandemic, which seems to have no end in sight at present, I think that we ALL have to be more compassionate towards ourselves at this most difficult of times, more than we have ever had to be kind to ourselves, before this health and economic crisis was imposed upon us with little warning.
Please take good care of yourself, and I will do the same.
Love, Light and Healing from your friend and his family,
Brian
![:smt049](./images/smilies/049.gif)
![:smt049](./images/smilies/049.gif)
![:smt049](./images/smilies/049.gif)
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