True or False

[lambtail]

Hi, I am very confused at the moment, in my life. I met a man online, whom I met and we decided that we would share our life together, because of distance, and other matters that need to be cleared up, we cannot be together yet. Originaaly I was going to go and live with him, but he me to sell my house first, before I went to live with him, becasue of various things, I carnt at the moment, and he got very angry, and called it off. We made up, and are talking, he said he was angry as he was not after anything of for us to be together and free to start our lives. I am so lost, in what to do, he said he might come to live with me here, we are still talking about, which way to go, and how. If you can help, in how things will turn out, and if he does truly love me, as i am so confused at this present time - I have lots of other things that need to be dealt with here, which might take quite a while to finalise. Hopefully my questions can be answered....

[cedars]

My dear lambtail

Excuse me for saying this and I am going to be blunt here.

You met this man on line and then you met him in person (how many times?) and now you are making a life-changing decision to sell your house and live with him or him to come and live with you.

How well do you know this man?
How long has this connection been going on with him?
You say he doesn't even live in the same city which means that you dont meet him regularly to form an educated opinion about him, not to mention feelings...

I am not surprised you are lost and confused. Why do you involve Love into this? It all sounds good if it is true love, but why do I sense a feeling of desperation on your part to be with someone and why this man?

If I were you and I am sure others would say the same:

DO NOT........ REPEAT....... DO NOT sell your house and move anywhere with anyone! If you have property stick to it like it was your only lifeline, as to get a mortgage will not be the easiest thing at this age.

DO NOT......... REPEAT...... DO NOT hand over any of your belongings, assets, deeds, money to this man or anyone else!!

At the age 53 YOU come first and your livelihood and your assets come on the top of the list.
I am sorry I am bringing age into it, but look at my age too.

Even if there is true love between you guys, do not get carried away with that butterfly feeling in your guts and DO NOT sell your property to be with someone you hardly know.

I met a man online, whom I met and we decided that we would share our life together, because of distance, and other matters that need to be cleared up, we cannot be together yet.

For goodness sake, you've only known each other on line and you come to this decision to 'share' life together? Oh, please, may be you will, may be you won't;  but do not lose your assets, your individuality, your savings and whatever else you have worked for for this idea of 'sharing life together'. Get to know the man; you are not a child any more my dear woman.

With all respect, you are acting like your name - lambtail. Where's the wolf in you? Get it out and use it for your own benefit.

Please take some time out; think about this and do not commit to anything.
Hold tight to your money and assets and don't spend them indiscriminately on this man or anyone else.

If my words have come across harsh, please forgive me, but I shudder at the thought of you losing out for someone you hardly know.

Blessings to you.

[Rhutobello]

You are not the first person who have got "hot thoughts" about another person on the net, and you will surly not be the last.

When we sit in our secure home, and share our thoughts with another person, we don't have the adjustment an appearance gives, and we evaluate everything into the best meaning(if good feelings has entered our head)

We have heard about many happy marriages, done by people who met on the net, B U T the fact is that most of the people who meet in real life, after having contact on the net, change their opinion about the person....to the worse. (If we want to meet...we have expectations that is hard to live up too)

Cedar have given you a very good advice....and I put myself back everything he has said.

Don't do anything with haste, what you suggest to do is a way to big action on a so early stage.

Meet the guy, get a feeling on him....remember for a relationship to work...both parts must be willing to adjust....see if he has the ability to adjust for you..

It is very popular to scam people on the net, I don't hope that your friend is a scam, but you can never be sure....how will you feel in an age of 53 to start a on new if you loose everything?
Most people are honest, but there are always some people, who can do anything in order to earn cash...even destroy the life of other.

What you suggest is a big change in your life....a big change demand some securities....be sure you take them.....and good luck!

[saboinia]

im getting red flags about this....do not sell your house.....rent it......if he askes for money give him rental money.....red flags all around remember to cover your own assets and do not let him talk you into giving him any thing if you get married get a pre nup where he gets nothing from you in th event of a deviorse.  to me the red flags ring gigglo. you know sucker some older person into being a sugar mama, and she gets dumped when the money runs out.

[scarabcameo]

While it is unromantic, I would suggest having someone run a credit check on the individual and also taking him to social functions where people who have known you a long time can weigh in on how genuine he seems.

[pirbid]

I carnt at the moment, and he got very angry, and called it off. We made up, and are talking, he said he was angry as he was not after anything of for us to be together and free to start our lives. I am so lost, in what to do

Dear Lambtail, if so many of us think the same without needing to do any readings, why can't you? Obviously because you have feelings, but who for? Is the person you love real or just the image you have made of him?

I think the 'red flags' Saboinia was getting may be about the part I quoted from your post. I cannot imagine anyone who truly cared for your well being getting angry because you have important things tying you to your present abode. In fact, anger is a very big, ugly and red flag in my books when you have hardly met a person. I mean, the stage you are in, we usually stay in our best behavior to put across the best possible image of ourselves. What to think of someone who cannot hold his temper even from a distance?

I have a hot temper myself, but if there is someone with whom I badly try to keep it in check, that is my partner in life. I try as hard as I can never to hurt the person I love the most, since I couldn't stand losing him. Even when I am caught off balance and give a sharp retort, I am quick to apologize because I care so much I might have hurt him.

Oops, I just realized this is an old thread bumped up. You never answered, but I hope things ended for the best  :)