why am I a sex addict . please help

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iluminaughty
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why am I a sex addict . please help

Post by iluminaughty » Fri Sep 05, 2014 8:50 pm

Why am I sex obsessed ......Help.

My chart

http://i1374.photobucket.com/albums/ag4 ... 6845c3.gif

Here's me and my pet wolf
http://i1374.photobucket.com/albums/ag4 ... 2089ec.jpg

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Please note that this posting has been edited by me on Saturday September 6th 2014, due to its use of offensive and inappropriate language.

EoT

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astrologer50
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Post by astrologer50 » Fri Dec 19, 2014 12:09 am

are you boasting or complaining?

moon conjunct mars in 8th house of sex and conception joint finances created by a partnership. Both opposition to Pluto in 2nd house. The chart is hard to read as you have put Sooooo much rubbish and asteriods on it!!!

Saturn quincunx Neptune is a depression aspect and also carries a 'fear of the unknown' Saturn quincunx neptune, has apprehension and fear of the unknown. When we talk about Neptune and sacrifices, artistic, musical spiritual, and then discuss Saturn being father, men, authority figures. It’s like getting your childhood dreams crushed by father, and a huge dose of reality. An example of this might be, wanting to be a ballerina and father saying, “you’ll never have a decent living moneywise, so forget it.” From the book ‘Aspects and Personality’ by Karen Hamaker-Zondag

"You will be challenged to resolve conflicting urges: to find solid existence within the material sphere versus escaping reality and finding a more ideal life experience. The "real" world sometimes becomes too much to bear and a part of you is strongly attracted to those who claim to hold the true way to enlightenment and inner peace. The problem is, you tend to have many doubts about that which is not readily apparent via the five senses. The positive side of this aspect is that it instills an ability to take that which can be imagined and bring it into solid form"
http://www.skyviewzone.com/astrology/as ... nasataspne

Unable to form lasting bonds or have real problems with commitment?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... =add_watch
A guy who likes to date many girls at the same time
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 215AABGxSA
It's really hard to control my sex drive?
Highly sexed or just curious
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 400AAqTYI5
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/sh ... hp?t=58589
Sexual Promiscuity in the Natal Chart
http://starscopestoday.wordpress.com/20 ... tal-chart/

Love is based on chemistry, lust & infatuation. The brain produces chemicals that produces these feelings of lust, love and wanting to have babies, but dies out within maximum 2 years. After the infatuation/lust has died out, you had better hope that you married a friend and someone you like and trust. You then see your spouse clearly, warts and all, for the first time, and could find them to be a stranger or not who you *thought* they were.

Please bear in mind every chart has a mixture of good and challenging aspects. Learning astrology makes you much more self aware of your good and not so good character traits and this *awareness* can help you modify and change. Your natal chart is full of potential and its entirely up to you whether you fulfil that potential or not. Your chart is a major influence and NOT a control mechanism

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eye_of_tiger
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Post by eye_of_tiger » Fri Dec 19, 2014 12:34 am

The brain produces chemicals that produces these feelings of lust, love and wanting to have babies, but dies out within maximum 2 years.After the infatuation/lust has died out, you had better hope that you married a friend and someone you like and trust.
So what you seem to be saying is that the love and lust in a relationship runs out within a maximum space of two years, to be replaced by friendship and utter mind deadening boredom and frustration.

After having been married to the same woman for nearly 36 years, I can confidently assure you that the love and lust can harmoniously coexist along with the friendship and fidelity, long past this hypothetical two years maximum.

So if love and lust are as you claim controlled by particular brain chemical or hormone levels which fall over a vertical cliff after only two years have expired, other brain chemicals and hormones must take over from where they left off.

We each see our partner's "warts" but since they also accept ours, it really does not matter to either of us.

We make love to the person whom we love and lust after and are infatuated with through their body, and are not making love to the imperfect body which they are using at the moment.

EoT

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astrologer50
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Post by astrologer50 » Fri Dec 19, 2014 1:14 pm

there is a lot of evidence about just 'lust' and sex or love on the net.

http://www.wikihow.com/Know-the-Differe ... n-and-Lust
http://www.bustle.com/articles/7857-8-s ... ot-in-love
http://metro.co.uk/2014/09/11/love-or-l ... e-4858007/
http://news.uchicago.edu/article/2014/0 ... e-and-lust

http://www.chemistry.com/datingadvice/LoveExplained
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2 ... love-last/

The Science of Love
"There are three phases to falling in love and different hormones are involved at each stage.
Events occurring in the brain when we are in love have similarities with mental illness.
When we are attracted to somebody, it could be because subconsciously we like their genes.
Smell could be as important as looks when it comes to the fanciability factor. We like the look and smell of people who are most like our parents.
Science can help determine whether a relationship will last.
Cupid's chemicals

A man and woman's feet
People are usually in 'cloud nine' when they fall in love.
Flushed cheeks, a racing heart beat and clammy hands are some of the outward signs of being in love. But inside the body there are definite chemical signs that cupid has fired his arrow.

When it comes to love it seems we are at the mercy of our biochemistry. One of the best known researchers in this area is Helen Fisher of Rutgers University in New Jersey. She has proposed that we fall in love in three stages. Each involving a different set of chemicals.

Three Stages of Falling in Love

Stage 1: Lust

Lust is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen. Testosterone is not confined only to men. It has also been shown to play a major role in the sex drive of women. These hormones as Helen Fisher says "get you out looking for anything".

Stage 2: Attraction

This is the truly love-struck phase. When people fall in love they can think of nothing else. They might even lose their appetite and need less sleep, preferring to spend hours at a time daydreaming about their new lover.

In the attraction stage, a group of neuro-transmitters called 'monoamines' play an important role:

Dopamine - Also activated by cocaine and nicotine.
Norepinephrine - Otherwise known as adrenalin. Starts us sweating and gets the heart racing.
Serotonin - One of love's most important chemicals and one that may actually send us temporarily insane.
Discover which type of partner you're attracted to by taking our face perception test.

Stage 3: Attachment

This is what takes over after the attraction stage, if a relationship is going to last. People couldn't possibly stay in the attraction stage forever, otherwise they'd never get any work done!

Attachment is a longer lasting commitment and is the bond that keeps couples together when they go on to have children. Important in this stage are two hormones released by the nervous system, which are thought to play a role in social attachments:

Oxytocin - This is released by the hypothalamus gland during child birth and also helps the breast express milk. It helps cement the strong bond between mother and child. It is also released by both sexes during orgasm and it is thought that it promotes bonding when adults are intimate. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes
Vasopressin - Another important chemical in the long-term commitment stage. It is an important controller of the kidney and its role in long-term relationships was discovered when scientists looked at the prairie vole"
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/

The Psychology Of Loves That Last A Lifetime
"The trifecta of a romantic relationship -- intense love, sexual desire and long-term attachment -- can seem elusive, but it may not be as uncommon or unattainable in marriages as we've been conditioned to think.

"We are born to love," writes anthropologist and author of Why We Love, Helen Fisher. "That feeling of elation that we call romantic love is deeply embedded in our brains. But can it last?"

The science tells us that romantic love can last -- and more than we often give it credit for. As a culture, we tend to be pretty cynical about the prospect of romantic love (as opposed to the 'other' loves -- lust and long-term attachment) enduring over time and through obstacles, and for good reason. Roughly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, with 2.4 million U.S. couples splitting in 2012. And among those that stay together, marital dissatisfaction is common.

In long-term partnerships that do succeed, romantic love tends to fade into companionship and a love more akin to friendship than to that of a couple in love.

But no matter how cynical we are about the prospect of life-long love, it still seems to be what most Americans are after. Romantic love is increasingly viewed as an essential component of a marriage, with 91 percent of women and 86 percent of American men reporting that they would not marry someone who had every quality they wanted in a partner but with whom they were not in love.

This type of love is good for both our marriages and our health. Romantic love -- free from the craving and obsession of the early stages of falling in love --can and does frequently exist in long-term marriages, research has found, and it's correlated with marital satisfaction, and individual well-being and self-esteem.

Although science has given us some insight on the nature of love and romantic relationships, this fundamental domain of human existence remains something of a mystery. Love, particularly the long-lasting kind, has been called one of the "most studied and least understood areas in psychology."

There may be more questions than answers at this point, but we do know that both being in love and being married are good for your physical and mental health. And psychologists who study love, marriage and relationships have pinpointed a number of factors that contribute to long-lasting romantic love.

Here are six science-backed secrets of couples that keep intense romantic love alive for decades and entire lifetimes.

Life-long romance IS possible.

Despite high rates of divorce, infidelity and marital dissatisfaction, it's not all hopeless -- far from it, in fact. A 2012 study of couples who had been married for a decade, published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, found that 40 percent of them said they were "very intensely in love." The same study found that among couples who were married 30 years or more, 40 percent of women and 35 percent of men said they were very intensely in love.

But don't be convinced solely by what these couples reported -- research in neuroscience has also proven that intense romantic love can last a lifetime.

A 2011 study published in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience looked the brain regions activated in individuals in long-term romantic partnerships (who had been married an average of 21 years), and compared them with individuals who had recently fallen in love. The results revealed similar brain activity in both groups, with high activity in the reward and motivation centers of the brain, predominantly in the high-dopamine ventral tegmental area (VTA). The findings suggest that couples can not only love each for long periods of time -- they can stay in love with each other.

Sustaining romantic love over the course of many years, then, has a positive function in the brain, which understands and continues to pursue romantic love as a behavior that reaps cognitive rewards, according to positive psychology researcher Adoree Durayappah.

"The key to understanding how to sustain long-term romantic love is to understand it a bit scientifically," Durayappah wrote in Psychology Today. "Our brains view long-term passionate love as a goal-directed behavior to attain rewards. Rewards can include the reduction of anxiety and stress, feelings of security, a state of calmness, and a union with another."

They maintain a sense of "love blindness."

When we first fall in love with someone, we tend to worship the ground they walk on and see them as the most attractive, smartest and accomplished person in the room. And while we might eventually take our partner off of this pedestal after months and years of being together, maintaining a sense of "love blindness" is actually critical to long-lasting passionate love.

A University of Geneva review of nearly 500 studies on compatibility couldn't pinpoint any combination of two personality traits in a relationship that predicted long-term romantic love -- except for one. One's ability to idealize and maintain positive illusions about their partner -- seeing them as good-looking, intelligent, funny and caring, or generally as a "catch" -- remained happy with each other on nearly all measures over time.

They're always trying new things together.

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love, and successful couples find ways to keep things interesting.

Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who not only experience a strong physical and emotional attraction to one another, but also who enjoy participating in new or challenging “self-expanding” activities together, Psychology Today reported.

"Novel and arousing activities are, well, arousing, which people can misattribute as attraction to their partner, reigniting that initial spark," writes Amie Gordan in the Berkeley Science Review.

They avoid neediness by preserving their independence.

Neediness is the enemy of long-lasting desire (an important component of romantic love), according to psychologist and Mating in Captivity author Esther Perel. In a popular TED Talk, Perel asks, "Why does sexual desire tend to fade over time, even in loving relationships?"

Neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships -- which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability -- damper the erotic spark, Perel explains. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

"When I see my partner on their own doing thing in which they are enveloped, I look at this person and I momentarily get a shift of perception," Perel says. "[We] stay open to the mysteries that are standing right next to each other... What is most interesting is that there is no neediness in desire. There is no caretaking in desire."

So if you're looking to keep that spark going, give your partner the space to do what they're good at -- and make sure to take the opportunity to observe them in their element, when they are "radiant and confident," says Perel.

Their passion for life carries over into their relationship.

Psychologists have found that a strong passion for life can help to sustain passion in a life-long romantic relationship. The 2012 Stony Brook University study examining personality qualities that predicted long-term passionate love found that individuals who exhibit excitement for all that life has to offer are more likely to find success in their romantic partnerships.

"People who approach their daily lives with zest and strong emotion seem to carry these intense feelings over to their love life as well," Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., wrote in Psychology Today. "If you want your relationship to have passion, put that emotional energy to work in your hobbies, interests, and even your political activities."

They see their relationship as a journey together towards self-fulfillment.

Whereas individuals used to be more likely to look to marriage for safety and security, the societal standard has shifted such that more men and women enter into marriage looking for self-actualization and personal fulfillment. Such a marriage can be more satisfying for both partners, but requires each partner to invest more time and energy into the partnership for it to be successful.

"The average marriage today is weaker than the average marriage of yore, in terms of both satisfaction and divorce rate, but the best marriages today are much stronger, in terms of both satisfaction and personal well-being, than the best marriages of yore," Eli J. Finkel, a professor of social psychology at Northwestern University wrote in a New York Times op-ed, describing this shift from companionate to self-expressive marriages.

Rather than looking to marriage to serve our basic needs for survival and companionship, we're now seeing marriage as a vehicle for self-fulfillment. This new directive can help to facilitate long-term romantic love, so long as each partner is willing and able to put more of their resources into the relationship.

"As the expectations of marriage have ascended Maslow’s hierarchy, the potential psychological payoffs have increased," Finkel noted, "but achieving those results has become more demanding."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/2 ... 39457.html
I am a Professional astrologer/Teacher/public speaker with over 20years experience.

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eye_of_tiger
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Post by eye_of_tiger » Fri Dec 19, 2014 2:40 pm

While I know all about the so called cuddle hormone oxytocin and the current theories about all human behaviour simply being a product of our biochemistry, I feel that first hand practical experience is always a better teacher than books or websites as to why so many relationships fall by the way side, while others only grow stronger and deeper with each passing year.

My question to you then is with regards to how all of this biochemical knowledge has helped you to better deal with your sex addiction?  

EoT

PS: Links to external websites are not allowed on the forums. Because this problem has not been picked up on before now, I am leaving your thread here as a special favour and because this conversation could potentially help other members as well as yourself. Could I please ask in return from now on for you to observe the no external links rule, as well as not copying and pasting large amounts of what could be copyrighted material from other websites? Otherwise I would like the discussion to continue.

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astrologer50
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Post by astrologer50 » Mon Feb 02, 2015 10:31 am

eye_of_tiger wrote:While I know all about the so called cuddle hormone oxytocin and the current theories about all human behaviour simply being a product of our biochemistry, I feel that first hand practical experience is always a better teacher than books or websites as to why so many relationships fall by the way side, while others only grow stronger and deeper with each passing year.

My question to you then is with regards to how all of this biochemical knowledge has helped you to better deal with your sex addiction?  

EoT

PS: Links to external websites are not allowed on the forums. Because this problem has not been picked up on before now, I am leaving your thread here as a special favour and because this conversation could potentially help other members as well as yourself. Could I please ask in return from now on for you to observe the no external links rule, as well as not copying and pasting large amounts of what could be copyrighted material from other websites? Otherwise I would like the discussion to continue.
So WHY is it YOU are allowed to post links and not members????
http://mysticboard.org/vi ... 044#336044

copyright material IS allowed providing you use appropriate "marks" and the source is clearly cited as I have done. this is a well known fact
:smt003

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