suggestions for unhappy marriage ?

[hopeful]

My hubby's DOB -12-10-63 5.30PM Petlad and mine 8-8-65 7.05AM ahmedabad.
we love each other but fight a lot !  Any suggestions for us ?
Thanks

[inderk]

birth places given by you petlad & ahmadabad, both are in gujrat - if YES, and timings given are correct.

then by reading your horoscopes, it is very clear that this cpouple will have a lot of problems.

The main reason is DIFFERENCE OF OPINION between the couple.

is the time and manner in physical relations is also the problem ? if YES,

i recomend to wear white pearl (moti) of at least 5.25 Ratti, in silver, in the little finger - to the person Born on 12 oct 1963, 05.30 PM (as i know the birth time only)

please do mention the gender alongwth the birth details in your next query (if any) it helps a lot in reading a horoscope.

[hopeful]

Thanks inderk.
Bithplaces are in Gujarat-yes and times are correct.

physical relations is also the problem ?  YES, he is in jail for assaulting wife, as I called the police. Can't take any longer-suffered enough, he must get the message.

Do you see any hope that he will change  his attitude ? any any future of this marriage ? I have 2 kids-sons aged 11 and 4.

[hopeful]

I am going through hard time in life. First father passed away and now I am on the verge of divorce because of the violent husband who is not ready to accept his mistakes and ways. I do not have any job. what is in future for me ?

[Rhutobello]

Allow me to give you an advice that not build on Astrology, but more from life experience.

I am sad when I read your story, but I am very glad that you took the step to inform the police about the abuse.

Sorry to say, but there is many male and females that are capable to do great gruesome thing to their spouses.

When they are put into a corner, they almost always promise a better behavior, and change.......it seldom happen...if they don't ask and is given help.

Since you have small children, such an behavior from your husband might lead to future abuse from them too, this has been confirmed true several investigations.


I suggest that you take a "timeout".

Try to sit down and think the whole case true.
What are your options, what kind of help can you get.

Is it really love you feel? or is it the strong male that "dominate you"?
Do you want to grow old with this guy?
Are you sure he will support you when you become older?

Has the violence increased each year?
Many times it does.....what happen with you when you become older and more fragile?

I ask a lot of questions, and there are many more,  but I hope you will find them yourself when or if you take this time for yourself and evaluate your situation.

I can assure you that the only one who can change your situation....is yourself.....NO Astrology....No Reading....they might be to a help ...but no solution.

You know how many years you have lived together....no position of any star will change his mind or cruelty....it is all up to you!

Good luck...and a BIG HUG...I feel a lot with you!

[RishiRahul]

Hey Happy Birthday Hopeful,

Since I am to give free predictions for so many now, you must appreciate that I will answer only one question once only.

My replies are attained after detailed study of a chart, not possible here due to shortage of time.

A feedback would be appreciated, though.

Get back to you within a week to ten days maximum.

RishiRahul

[hopeful]

Thanks RishiRahulji for the wishes and reply. I will wait.

[hopeful]

Thanks Rhuttobello.  Sure I will take the timeout and think of all the options you have suggested.

[RishiRahul]

Hopeful

The problem with both of you lies in your temperamental and volatile natures, and competitive in terms of power.

Your spouse is generally secretive by nature, somewhat quarrelsome, but home loving, and suffers from gloomy feelings. His mind travels very fast and sometimes gets confused rapidly.

You are more peace loving than your spouse, but have internal urts against people and feel belittled easily, and tend to be faultfinding not only regarding your spouse, but others too, and aims to dominate and control your spouse. You should learn patience, to admit defeat sometimes; passionate and adventurous by nature.
From end 2006/early 2007 trouble started due to deteriorating relation from 2005, for you.

Your spouse is going through a very confused period with fluctuating mind. This is a long passing phase and should be over A change of environment in 2003 was difficult for him to handle, due to some impatience around 2002.  End 2006/early 2007 increased his alcoholism and aggression towards spouse, due to hard and constant stress, and sex life was badly affected.  


What changes happened in his life from 2001/2002? Are in a better position in life also? Also let me know the abovementioned to enable judicious advice to you.

RishiRahul

[hopeful]

Thanks Rishirahulji for your reading.

From 2001 till mid of 2002, we were not staying togather, He was in Canada alone. I joined him in may 2002 and things were fine. We had second child in Aug 2004 and after that the arguments started and from mid 2005 his violent behaviour has started again and since the end of 2007/early 2008 it became very frequent.

He doesn't drink as far as I know, but he smokes when he is in tension. Yes he thinks too much and mostly wrong things. Yes he got the job in 2001 which he is still doing. He is very quarrelsome-not somewhat and yes he thinks too much and mostly wrong way. He picks the "words". He is very egoistic-he never accepts his mistakes.

[RishiRahul]

Thanks Rishirahulji for your reading.

From 2001 till mid of 2002, we were not staying togather, He was in Canada alone. I joined him in may 2002 and things were fine.

RishiRahul= I think I did mention about some impatience around mid 2002, proving costly/difficult for him. Why did you guys join then?

We had second child in Aug 2004 and after that the arguments started and from mid 2005 his violent behaviour has started again and since the end of 2007/early 2008 it became very frequent.

He doesn't drink as far as I know, but he smokes when he is in tension.

RishiRahul= I assumed that he drank because after reading something in the thread.... I formed the opinion. Sorry for that.


Yes he thinks too much and mostly wrong things. Yes he got the job in 2001 which he is still doing. He is very quarrelsome-not somewhat and yes he thinks too much and mostly wrong way. He picks the "words". He is very egoistic-he never accepts his mistakes.

Expecting your reply,

RishiRahul

[hopeful]

Sorry RishiRahulji for the late reply. He is staying with the friends but still gives me heartaches !

In 2000 we agreed that he will come to Canada alone,if he don't get the job in field then he can return, meanwhile I was working and staying with my parents and our first born son. In 2001 he got the job in the field and he filed again for our papers, then we joined him. from May 2002 till May 2004, I do not remember much but most of the time he was fine. I studied from Aug 2002 to Sept 2003 and may be he was expecting big windfall from that but the things did not work for me that way because I got pregnant and then got busy with the baby.

]RishiRahul= I think I did mention about some impatience around mid 2002, proving costly/difficult for him. Why did you guys join then?

[RishiRahul]

Hi Hopeful,
.
July 2009 onwards I see him in a better/happier position mentally as I see you two probably staying/interacting more in order to achieve children based solutions, and better finances. Though his angry nature may not subside. In this environment I see you unhappy, but patiently hopeful.

This gives a reason to be hopeful till at least 2011, and in 2013 you will be able to change the location for career related reasons.

I do not foresee a divorce in the near future, I am sorry.

But I guess we need not be so fatalistic always!!

RishiRahul


P.S: Situaion aggavates after 27th. Nov 2008. Keep us informed.

[hopeful]

Thanks RishiRahulji for your reading. Let me just pray and hope for the miracle. I will keep you informed.

[hopeful]

RishiRahulji

He is still very stubborn and keeps on talking non-sense. He is not ready to admit his fault. Now the court date for the case is 5 Feb 2009. If he accepts his mistake he can return to the house, but he doen't listen to the well wisher's advise ! His mind is not stable,He seems completely mad. I don't know how to make him understand.