Lost inside my mind and soul

[AstroGod]

I'm going round in circles, wake up, breakfast, computer, sidereal research, eat..etc. can't get a Job that suits me, all my friends are working I cant see any of them till the end of the day even then they cant always see me. I felt like going into a mental breakdown yesterday because I Just dont know what to do with myself. The only guide i have is sidereal astrology but i dont have enough knowledge to grasp an idea of what my career is. I want a nice car, I want to move out i live with my grandparents, i want to live with my friends i want an exciting life but the more this goes on the less hope i have. No point going into a relationship without knowing a persons aspects and planetary positions, even though i am longing for a partner but i just cant find her. i feel i am losing myself, with no direction, sick to death of having no direction. i know all i need is a sympathetic sidereal astrologist to read my chart and houses to direct me into a career, i cant save my money i feel like just rotting away into nothingness  :smt022 i cant stick to one thing i try to start something but then i change my mind so i feel i have no luck in doing anything. i am more angry than sad im almost 21 years old and i still live with my grandparents!! i seek truth only to find lies. i know im meant to be somewhere but i dont know where!!! the only thing that makes me feel safe is my jupiter in cancer in 12th house but even then he cant always save me. i need to speak to a sidereal astrologist its my only option getting out of this mess. I like to sing but i dont choose to go into a band because i dont want to wait to get more money. this has gone on for too long now if i dnt speak to a sidereal astrologist soon i know im gonna end up doing stupid things!!! tired of this life tired of not getting anywhere just TIRED and ANGRY, please help me. im a leo sun and i dont even have the strength to pick myself up!!!

[hatty100]

big hugs, hang in there xxx

[balaji suresh]

give your birth place and exact time of birth, along with date.

[Mr.Kr0w]

your have a lot of water and fire signs making it difficult to be on a complete side,
perhaps you may find more happiness in neutralizing both sides as i mean, to arbitrate, for there are two sides to each coin for a decision, follow your heart to the path and use your mind to become what will last, commune with your self as one.