Life has been full of frustrations....Please help....

All requests for reading using the vedic astrology method, should be posted under this forum.

Moderators: eye_of_tiger, shalimar123, RishiRahul

Post Reply
Mesamid
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed May 18, 2016 4:10 am

Life has been full of frustrations....Please help....

Post by Mesamid » Wed May 18, 2016 4:44 am

Hi,

I have had lots of frustrations in my life starting at a very young age.
As the injustice and insults grew, so did my resentment, distrust. Eventually I could not take it anymore and stopped the outward pretending or show that everything is ok. Nothing was ok.

Since then things have gotten very stale and stagnant. But the judgments and comments have not subsided.

I just want to pinpoint what exactly is causing this headache for me.
Am I cursed? I've heard that I am.
Also can my family's horoscopes and living with them affect me adversely?

I have gone to astrologers, some are in my extended family too so they never give me the full information and are always politically correct because of my family, but nothing has helped me. As a child I didn't know much about astrology, but as an adult I started learning. My knowledge is  very fragmented and incomplete about vedic astrology. Some moments I see only bad things in my horoscope and others I see so many good things. lol

Right now, as I sit and write this, I'm confused and exhausted at times....about my life and what to do. I have been very patient.

One astrologer told me someone is doing black magic on me. :/

Before this I never believed in it but he didn't know anything about me. I was across the country; he was a random stranger that my brother met at a temple. He gave an accurate account of my horoscope to my brother. So though I dislike the idea of black magic...in its entirety, I couldn't just brush it off. I have been doing all the remedies that every single astrologer has given me.


Also, I do read uplifting books etc...They are my safety net in these times.

I'm just a little down right now, so my whole post might seem depressing lol... I'm not depressed in general and always look for the silver lining. I feel like after going through a lot I've been successful at surviving. So I count that toward my strength...


I don't lie, cheat, steal. I don't try to take anything from anyone that isn't mine. I just don't understand how anyone could want to wish me ill will....Maybe out of jealousy of me or my family? But to be honest there is nothing these days for anyone to be jealous about.


When will all these issues resolve?
Am I supposed to be a Sant / Saint or something?
Will I ever get married? And more importantly if I get married will I have kids?

I'm ok if you tell me I have a really bad horoscope or that I'm cursed or anything. I've heard it all before I'm sure. I would just rather have someone tell me *bluntly* what's wrong rather than sugar coating it. I promise, I won't be depressed. :) Thanks  








1. Date of Birth: June 21, 1983
2. Time of Birth: 4:32pm
3. Place of Birth: San Francisco, California
4. DST used or not(Day Light Savings Time): DST is used
5. Gender (Male/ Female) Female
6: Place of posting your query (city, Country): Morgan Hill, California
7: Local watch time of posting query (remember to indicate AM or PM or use 24:00 hrs format) 9:37pm    
   


Again, I do thank you for any and all help. :)

User avatar
RishiRahul
Astrology Reader
Posts: 7188
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 9:47 am
Location: Kolkata, New York, Toronto
Contact:

Re: Life has been full of frustrations....Please help....

Post by RishiRahul » Wed May 18, 2016 4:24 pm

Mesamid wrote:Hi,

I have had lots of frustrations in my life starting at a very young age.
As the injustice and insults grew, so did my resentment, distrust. Eventually I could not take it anymore and stopped the outward pretending or show that everything is ok. Nothing was ok.

Since then things have gotten very stale and stagnant. But the judgments and comments have not subsided.

I just want to pinpoint what exactly is causing this headache for me.
Am I cursed? I've heard that I am.
Also can my family's horoscopes and living with them affect me adversely?

I have gone to astrologers, some are in my extended family too so they never give me the full information and are always politically correct because of my family, but nothing has helped me. As a child I didn't know much about astrology, but as an adult I started learning. My knowledge is  very fragmented and incomplete about vedic astrology. Some moments I see only bad things in my horoscope and others I see so many good things. lol

Right now, as I sit and write this, I'm confused and exhausted at times....about my life and what to do. I have been very patient.

One astrologer told me someone is doing black magic on me. :/

Before this I never believed in it but he didn't know anything about me. I was across the country; he was a random stranger that my brother met at a temple. He gave an accurate account of my horoscope to my brother. So though I dislike the idea of black magic...in its entirety, I couldn't just brush it off. I have been doing all the remedies that every single astrologer has given me.


Also, I do read uplifting books etc...They are my safety net in these times.

I'm just a little down right now, so my whole post might seem depressing lol... I'm not depressed in general and always look for the silver lining. I feel like after going through a lot I've been successful at surviving. So I count that toward my strength...


I don't lie, cheat, steal. I don't try to take anything from anyone that isn't mine. I just don't understand how anyone could want to wish me ill will....Maybe out of jealousy of me or my family? But to be honest there is nothing these days for anyone to be jealous about.


When will all these issues resolve?
Am I supposed to be a Sant / Saint or something?
Will I ever get married? And more importantly if I get married will I have kids?

I'm ok if you tell me I have a really bad horoscope or that I'm cursed or anything. I've heard it all before I'm sure. I would just rather have someone tell me *bluntly* what's wrong rather than sugar coating it. I promise, I won't be depressed. :) Thanks  








1. Date of Birth: June 21, 1983
2. Time of Birth: 4:32pm
3. Place of Birth: San Francisco, California
4. DST used or not(Day Light Savings Time): DST is used
5. Gender (Male/ Female) Female
6: Place of posting your query (city, Country): Morgan Hill, California
7: Local watch time of posting query (remember to indicate AM or PM or use 24:00 hrs format) 9:37pm    
   


Again, I do thank you for any and all help. :)


Hello,

Just to be sure, the time given is the daylight savings time.

If so, what was the actual time of birth?

RishiRahul
RishiRahul.com
Astro-Palmist & Numerologist
Accurate timings & solutions to specific questions

Mesamid
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed May 18, 2016 4:10 am

Post by Mesamid » Thu May 19, 2016 11:37 pm

So without daylight savings time added it's 3:32pm.

User avatar
RishiRahul
Astrology Reader
Posts: 7188
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 9:47 am
Location: Kolkata, New York, Toronto
Contact:

Re: Life has been full of frustrations....Please help....

Post by RishiRahul » Fri May 20, 2016 5:32 pm

RishiRahul wrote:
Mesamid wrote:Hi,

I have had lots of frustrations in my life starting at a very young age.
As the injustice and insults grew, so did my resentment, distrust. Eventually I could not take it anymore and stopped the outward pretending or show that everything is ok. Nothing was ok.

Since then things have gotten very stale and stagnant. But the judgments and comments have not subsided.

I just want to pinpoint what exactly is causing this headache for me.
Am I cursed? I've heard that I am.
Also can my family's horoscopes and living with them affect me adversely?

I have gone to astrologers, some are in my extended family too so they never give me the full information and are always politically correct because of my family, but nothing has helped me. As a child I didn't know much about astrology, but as an adult I started learning. My knowledge is  very fragmented and incomplete about vedic astrology. Some moments I see only bad things in my horoscope and others I see so many good things. lol

Right now, as I sit and write this, I'm confused and exhausted at times....about my life and what to do. I have been very patient.

One astrologer told me someone is doing black magic on me. :/

Before this I never believed in it but he didn't know anything about me. I was across the country; he was a random stranger that my brother met at a temple. He gave an accurate account of my horoscope to my brother. So though I dislike the idea of black magic...in its entirety, I couldn't just brush it off. I have been doing all the remedies that every single astrologer has given me.


Also, I do read uplifting books etc...They are my safety net in these times.

I'm just a little down right now, so my whole post might seem depressing lol... I'm not depressed in general and always look for the silver lining. I feel like after going through a lot I've been successful at surviving. So I count that toward my strength...


I don't lie, cheat, steal. I don't try to take anything from anyone that isn't mine. I just don't understand how anyone could want to wish me ill will....Maybe out of jealousy of me or my family? But to be honest there is nothing these days for anyone to be jealous about.


When will all these issues resolve?
Am I supposed to be a Sant / Saint or something?
Will I ever get married? And more importantly if I get married will I have kids?

I'm ok if you tell me I have a really bad horoscope or that I'm cursed or anything. I've heard it all before I'm sure. I would just rather have someone tell me *bluntly* what's wrong rather than sugar coating it. I promise, I won't be depressed. :) Thanks  








1. Date of Birth: June 21, 1983
2. Time of Birth: 4:32pm
3. Place of Birth: San Francisco, California
4. DST used or not(Day Light Savings Time): DST is used
5. Gender (Male/ Female) Female
6: Place of posting your query (city, Country): Morgan Hill, California
7: Local watch time of posting query (remember to indicate AM or PM or use 24:00 hrs format) 9:37pm    
   


Again, I do thank you for any and all help. :)


Hello,

Just to be sure, the time given is the daylight savings time.

If so, what was the actual time of birth?

RishiRahul

Hello,

I did not imply that the time mentioned is daylight saving time.
I was just wondering if it was!?

Please mention only if you are sure of the time?

RishiRahul
RishiRahul.com
Astro-Palmist & Numerologist
Accurate timings & solutions to specific questions

Mesamid
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed May 18, 2016 4:10 am

Post by Mesamid » Fri May 20, 2016 8:21 pm

Oh, I guess I was confused by the question.

Yeah, I'm 100% sure because it's written on my birth certificate that the time is 4:32 PM during daylight savings time (In daylight savings where I live we add one hour.)

I only mentioned 3:32 Pm because I know some programs do not adjust for day light savings and require us to adjust the time without the daylight savings time. In my case it would be to subtract one hour from the legal time I was born. I thought that was what you wanted to know based on reading your question.

Sorry for the confusion.

I hope everything is clear now.

My official and accurate time is 4:32 PM during daylight savings time.

User avatar
RishiRahul
Astrology Reader
Posts: 7188
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 9:47 am
Location: Kolkata, New York, Toronto
Contact:

Re: Life has been full of frustrations....Please help....

Post by RishiRahul » Mon May 23, 2016 4:32 pm

RishiRahul wrote:
Mesamid wrote:Hi,

I have had lots of frustrations in my life starting at a very young age.
As the injustice and insults grew, so did my resentment, distrust. Eventually I could not take it anymore and stopped the outward pretending or show that everything is ok. Nothing was ok.

Since then things have gotten very stale and stagnant. But the judgments and comments have not subsided.

I just want to pinpoint what exactly is causing this headache for me.
Am I cursed? I've heard that I am.
Also can my family's horoscopes and living with them affect me adversely?

I have gone to astrologers, some are in my extended family too so they never give me the full information and are always politically correct because of my family, but nothing has helped me. As a child I didn't know much about astrology, but as an adult I started learning. My knowledge is  very fragmented and incomplete about vedic astrology. Some moments I see only bad things in my horoscope and others I see so many good things. lol

Right now, as I sit and write this, I'm confused and exhausted at times....about my life and what to do. I have been very patient.

One astrologer told me someone is doing black magic on me. :/

Before this I never believed in it but he didn't know anything about me. I was across the country; he was a random stranger that my brother met at a temple. He gave an accurate account of my horoscope to my brother. So though I dislike the idea of black magic...in its entirety, I couldn't just brush it off. I have been doing all the remedies that every single astrologer has given me.


Also, I do read uplifting books etc...They are my safety net in these times.

I'm just a little down right now, so my whole post might seem depressing lol... I'm not depressed in general and always look for the silver lining. I feel like after going through a lot I've been successful at surviving. So I count that toward my strength...


I don't lie, cheat, steal. I don't try to take anything from anyone that isn't mine. I just don't understand how anyone could want to wish me ill will....Maybe out of jealousy of me or my family? But to be honest there is nothing these days for anyone to be jealous about.


When will all these issues resolve?
Am I supposed to be a Sant / Saint or something?
Will I ever get married? And more importantly if I get married will I have kids?

I'm ok if you tell me I have a really bad horoscope or that I'm cursed or anything. I've heard it all before I'm sure. I would just rather have someone tell me *bluntly* what's wrong rather than sugar coating it. I promise, I won't be depressed. :) Thanks  








1. Date of Birth: June 21, 1983
2. Time of Birth: 4:32pm
3. Place of Birth: San Francisco, California
4. DST used or not(Day Light Savings Time): DST is used
5. Gender (Male/ Female) Female
6: Place of posting your query (city, Country): Morgan Hill, California
7: Local watch time of posting query (remember to indicate AM or PM or use 24:00 hrs format) 9:37pm    
   


Again, I do thank you for any and all help. :)


Hello,

Just to be sure, the time given is the daylight savings time.

If so, what was the actual time of birth?

RishiRahul


Hello,

Who is not cursed in some way or the other? to some extent.

And the idea/concept of Black Magic thrives more in the West, though its prevalent in the East in terms of curses.

You have Rahu atmakarak, strong in the 9th. house.
Such people get cheated & also misunderstood in life, provided they are free of guile.....
Which according to what you say you have been..... And yes, you have the power to even critisize yourself and yet have the quality to remain positive & more so, idealistic!

Your sani chandra yoga in Lagna is another difficult cause of frustrations.

I wonder if you have moved away from your place of birth? as this feature is prominent in your desitiny.

You are at the very present going through  rapid changes in some way; more so emotionally.

Very soon you would be onto a massive change in life, which is far less traumatic.

I also wonder what changes 2009 brought you? Difficult but productive....

RishiRahul

Mesamid
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed May 18, 2016 4:10 am

started

Post by Mesamid » Sun May 29, 2016 5:30 pm

I guess you're right. We are all cursed.

To be specific though, the person said meli vidya (and I translated that to be black magic).

So if I'm not conniving then people will make my life difficult? :/

Yeah, ironically, I do tend to be the only one in my life who lifts me up.
I do wonder how I can do this and where I get that source of comfort ....

I did move away to another country for my education in 2001. I lived for one year on my own. It wasn't difficult but it wasn't easy either.
I still struggled but it was a different kind of struggle. Culture, language, attitudes, coarse work etc. It was nice being successful there.

Despite being alone there, my parents always caused some sort of issue. But in the first year it didn't affect me directly, so it wasn't out to difficult to deal with.

I will say that after the first year my brother was forced by them to come to where I was and study. With this move, which I didn't mind at all, my mom decided to come live with me.
(My parents didn't get along, never got along, and my mom is and was overly attached to my brother....So while she moved to be with us, it was less for us and more about her and him. To the world though, they paint it as a sacrifice for us.....If you think about it, had it been for us, then wouldn't she have moved when her only *daughter* was going to a foreign country by herself? Also, to be clear when I moved at 18, to a foreign country she didn't shed one tear, but when my brother moved  at 27 temporarily to another state she cried.....a lot. )

To be honest, I dealt with more drama, tension, frustration and headache after she moved with us. Then my dad would visit because of this move and it added to the problems. When I say problems, I mean  between us and then more so because of their bad decisions with other people after which I had to clean up their mess. I have since childhood had to clean up the mess they make with other people....and solve their problems. But it is something that when the problems occur they ask me to fix it, not my brother, and I don't need a thank you. But later, after having helped them solve all their, self-created, problems with the outside world, they behave as if I am incompetent and don't know how to even do basic tasks.

After I finished my education, I moved back home in 2007 and all my problems started, well got worse. I was living with my dad. And over the course of 10 months, my life became extremely bitter and painful. When I look back, my childhood was also difficult and chaotic, but I don't think I had ever been so miserable as I was when I lived with my dad....at 23. It's funny, as a child....it never hurt me as much....

I developed a skin condition due to a chemical product, gained weight, couldn't sleep. He would call me ugly at home and I'm being conceited but most people would not call me ugly, rather most people say that I'm pretty. He would call me stupid and all sorts of Indian bad names and that because I would question him on certain issues regarding extended family or even the past. I never failed in school or college and got great grades in school. He on the other hand has failed. And he has a visible skin condition that I never called him names for. He's also overweight. So while he has a worse situation, I never brought up those points.

To give you a better picture, we would be in the car talking about something small and if I would say, "Right but maybe they picked yellow rather than green because of so and so reason." He would blow up. He would ignore me, while at home, if he wasn't arguing with me about something. I wouldn't even eat dinner at the dining table....because I didn't want to continuously be fighting over nothing. But I made him food, and even with that he would give mean looks and yell. It wasn't because of how it tasted either. I sometimes even made packet food and that doesn't require spices etc and he would still get mad at me. And I used to study from 9 am to 10 pm with only a lunch break and a couple bathroom breaks in between....and then to go home to cook for him, hear his criticism, observe his mean looks of disapproval and more so disgust..... I was simply exhausted and confused. What am I doing wrong?

What's frustrating is he would tell others that he wanted to be home early to spend time with me...And he likes to brag a lot, so he would talk to like he was getting me luxury cars as a gift....In reality, I drove a used car which I loved. I never asked for any luxury item...But it annoys me to think that to the outside would people get to hear his version of events and because he's a man and older that he is immediately believed. He makes it seem, as if he was spoiling me rotten and my life because of him was and has always been absolutely luxurious. I had no idea he would be telling people this, until I would be at functions, get togethers and people would ask me directly if I got this gift or was pampered with luxury. I'm left speechless.

Because I didn't earn anything at the time, as I was studying, he would angrily tell me how he was forced to pay for my health insurance. He would call me a parasite...But to everyone else he would act like he's doing all this stuff for me.....

So you can see.....my level of frustration....To the world, there is one picture....in reality...I'm living something else.

These are only 5% of all the things that happened in the course of 10 months.....Eventually I couldn't study properly....I lost my academic motivation....
I felt hurt, used and mistreated.

My parents have called me every name in the book and even wished that I was dead....since childhood. I do feel sorry for my younger self for having gone through all that....
When they would fight about money, extended family, their marriage, they would come actually talk to me like I was some wise person....This started when I was only 5....
What kind of advice was I going to give them? Also....who puts a kid in that position?

How can two adults be so wrong and foolish?
Sometimes because of that notion I question myself....
If I am so right, then why are two people who ought to be my biggest supporters.....always against me and causing me problems?
It doesn't make sense that BOTH of them are wrong...

That's why...I feel it has to be me....
I have never told anyone....about all the things I dealt with and am dealing with....until last year. And even they agree with me....

But then the question is why me? My brother doesn't live with my parents anymore and has always been my mom's favorite. But even now my dad is kissing up to him....
I think it's because he's a guy and now earning....so they want to make sure...they are on good terms with him....

Maybe I'm cynical...about that. But my dad was not kind to him growing up either, because he did't get good grades, had eye problems, gained weight as a kid...Suddenly because my brother is earning and my dad feel like my brother is making him look good, I think my dad is trying to get on his good side.

Anyway, after having been through what I have, I can tell you my brother enjoys the attention....lol I don't mind, because he always has a place in my heart but I'm protective of him. Though he has the advantage of my mom's pampering....I know that my dad will not be kind to him, if say he should not perform to make my dad look good.

Anyway, I feel angry and really mad, when I think of all this...The two of them, have literally destroyed my childhood and 20s.....I don't want my future to be miserable.
I'm trying so hard to insulate myself and not be affected by them....

In 2009, my mom and brother moved back home....I actually enjoyed that because it diluted the time I had to spend with my dad....
I really enjoy being around my brother. Also in 2009, my dad started acting differently after my brother and mom came home. It was as if he was a different person.  I started eating at the table again. Other than that 2009 was not any different for me.

Everyone keeps asking me about 2009 and telling me that would have been the time for great difficulty but 2007-2008 (April 2007 to December 2008) was far worse.

Is the massive life change in terms of mindset, education, career, or family life? Also around when do you think that is?

Thank you for letting me vent....I appreciate it. Also thank you for replying to my initial post.

User avatar
RishiRahul
Astrology Reader
Posts: 7188
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 9:47 am
Location: Kolkata, New York, Toronto
Contact:

Re: Life has been full of frustrations....Please help....

Post by RishiRahul » Mon Jun 06, 2016 3:18 pm

RishiRahul wrote:

Hello,

Who is not cursed in some way or the other? to some extent.

And the idea/concept of Black Magic thrives more in the West, though its prevalent in the East in terms of curses.

You have Rahu atmakarak, strong in the 9th. house.
Such people get cheated & also misunderstood in life, provided they are free of guile.....
Which according to what you say you have been..... And yes, you have the power to even critisize yourself and yet have the quality to remain positive & more so, idealistic!

Your sani chandra yoga in Lagna is another difficult cause of frustrations.

I wonder if you have moved away from your place of birth? as this feature is prominent in your desitiny.

You are at the very present going through  rapid changes in some way; more so emotionally.

Very soon you would be onto a massive change in life, which is far less traumatic.

I also wonder what changes 2009 brought you? Difficult but productive....

RishiRahul
Mesamid wrote:I guess you're right. We are all cursed.

To be specific though, the person said meli vidya (and I translated that to be black magic).

So if I'm not conniving then people will make my life difficult? :/

Yeah, ironically, I do tend to be the only one in my life who lifts me up.
I do wonder how I can do this and where I get that source of comfort ....

I did move away to another country for my education in 2001. I lived for one year on my own. It wasn't difficult but it wasn't easy either.
I still struggled but it was a different kind of struggle. Culture, language, attitudes, coarse work etc. It was nice being successful there.

Despite being alone there, my parents always caused some sort of issue. But in the first year it didn't affect me directly, so it wasn't out to difficult to deal with.

I will say that after the first year my brother was forced by them to come to where I was and study. With this move, which I didn't mind at all, my mom decided to come live with me.
(My parents didn't get along, never got along, and my mom is and was overly attached to my brother....So while she moved to be with us, it was less for us and more about her and him. To the world though, they paint it as a sacrifice for us.....If you think about it, had it been for us, then wouldn't she have moved when her only *daughter* was going to a foreign country by herself? Also, to be clear when I moved at 18, to a foreign country she didn't shed one tear, but when my brother moved  at 27 temporarily to another state she cried.....a lot. )

To be honest, I dealt with more drama, tension, frustration and headache after she moved with us. Then my dad would visit because of this move and it added to the problems. When I say problems, I mean  between us and then more so because of their bad decisions with other people after which I had to clean up their mess. I have since childhood had to clean up the mess they make with other people....and solve their problems. But it is something that when the problems occur they ask me to fix it, not my brother, and I don't need a thank you. But later, after having helped them solve all their, self-created, problems with the outside world, they behave as if I am incompetent and don't know how to even do basic tasks.

After I finished my education, I moved back home in 2007 and all my problems started, well got worse. I was living with my dad. And over the course of 10 months, my life became extremely bitter and painful. When I look back, my childhood was also difficult and chaotic, but I don't think I had ever been so miserable as I was when I lived with my dad....at 23. It's funny, as a child....it never hurt me as much....

I developed a skin condition due to a chemical product, gained weight, couldn't sleep. He would call me ugly at home and I'm being conceited but most people would not call me ugly, rather most people say that I'm pretty. He would call me stupid and all sorts of Indian bad names and that because I would question him on certain issues regarding extended family or even the past. I never failed in school or college and got great grades in school. He on the other hand has failed. And he has a visible skin condition that I never called him names for. He's also overweight. So while he has a worse situation, I never brought up those points.

To give you a better picture, we would be in the car talking about something small and if I would say, "Right but maybe they picked yellow rather than green because of so and so reason." He would blow up. He would ignore me, while at home, if he wasn't arguing with me about something. I wouldn't even eat dinner at the dining table....because I didn't want to continuously be fighting over nothing. But I made him food, and even with that he would give mean looks and yell. It wasn't because of how it tasted either. I sometimes even made packet food and that doesn't require spices etc and he would still get mad at me. And I used to study from 9 am to 10 pm with only a lunch break and a couple bathroom breaks in between....and then to go home to cook for him, hear his criticism, observe his mean looks of disapproval and more so disgust..... I was simply exhausted and confused. What am I doing wrong?

What's frustrating is he would tell others that he wanted to be home early to spend time with me...And he likes to brag a lot, so he would talk to like he was getting me luxury cars as a gift....In reality, I drove a used car which I loved. I never asked for any luxury item...But it annoys me to think that to the outside would people get to hear his version of events and because he's a man and older that he is immediately believed. He makes it seem, as if he was spoiling me rotten and my life because of him was and has always been absolutely luxurious. I had no idea he would be telling people this, until I would be at functions, get togethers and people would ask me directly if I got this gift or was pampered with luxury. I'm left speechless.

Because I didn't earn anything at the time, as I was studying, he would angrily tell me how he was forced to pay for my health insurance. He would call me a parasite...But to everyone else he would act like he's doing all this stuff for me.....

So you can see.....my level of frustration....To the world, there is one picture....in reality...I'm living something else.

These are only 5% of all the things that happened in the course of 10 months.....Eventually I couldn't study properly....I lost my academic motivation....
I felt hurt, used and mistreated.

My parents have called me every name in the book and even wished that I was dead....since childhood. I do feel sorry for my younger self for having gone through all that....
When they would fight about money, extended family, their marriage, they would come actually talk to me like I was some wise person....This started when I was only 5....
What kind of advice was I going to give them? Also....who puts a kid in that position?

How can two adults be so wrong and foolish?
Sometimes because of that notion I question myself....
If I am so right, then why are two people who ought to be my biggest supporters.....always against me and causing me problems?
It doesn't make sense that BOTH of them are wrong...

That's why...I feel it has to be me....
I have never told anyone....about all the things I dealt with and am dealing with....until last year. And even they agree with me....

But then the question is why me? My brother doesn't live with my parents anymore and has always been my mom's favorite. But even now my dad is kissing up to him....
I think it's because he's a guy and now earning....so they want to make sure...they are on good terms with him....

Maybe I'm cynical...about that. But my dad was not kind to him growing up either, because he did't get good grades, had eye problems, gained weight as a kid...Suddenly because my brother is earning and my dad feel like my brother is making him look good, I think my dad is trying to get on his good side.

Anyway, after having been through what I have, I can tell you my brother enjoys the attention....lol I don't mind, because he always has a place in my heart but I'm protective of him. Though he has the advantage of my mom's pampering....I know that my dad will not be kind to him, if say he should not perform to make my dad look good.

Anyway, I feel angry and really mad, when I think of all this...The two of them, have literally destroyed my childhood and 20s.....I don't want my future to be miserable.
I'm trying so hard to insulate myself and not be affected by them....

In 2009, my mom and brother moved back home....I actually enjoyed that because it diluted the time I had to spend with my dad....
I really enjoy being around my brother. Also in 2009, my dad started acting differently after my brother and mom came home. It was as if he was a different person.  I started eating at the table again. Other than that 2009 was not any different for me.

Everyone keeps asking me about 2009 and telling me that would have been the time for great difficulty but 2007-2008 (April 2007 to December 2008) was far worse.

Is the massive life change in terms of mindset, education, career, or family life? Also around when do you think that is?

Thank you for letting me vent....I appreciate it. Also thank you for replying to my initial post.

Hello,

Post Aug 2009 was only a relief in many ways.....! also a period of sharp experiencing adding to your experience & maturity.

Real productive growth arrives after April & Oct 2017.; while the present since Dec 2015 & Feb 2016has been confusing regarding relationships!

Good luck!

RishiRahul

User avatar
RishiRahul
Astrology Reader
Posts: 7188
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 9:47 am
Location: Kolkata, New York, Toronto
Contact:

Re: Life has been full of frustrations....Please help....

Post by RishiRahul » Mon Jun 06, 2016 3:21 pm

RishiRahul wrote:
RishiRahul wrote:

Hello,

Who is not cursed in some way or the other? to some extent.

And the idea/concept of Black Magic thrives more in the West, though its prevalent in the East in terms of curses.

You have Rahu atmakarak, strong in the 9th. house.
Such people get cheated & also misunderstood in life, provided they are free of guile.....
Which according to what you say you have been..... And yes, you have the power to even critisize yourself and yet have the quality to remain positive & more so, idealistic!

Your sani chandra yoga in Lagna is another difficult cause of frustrations.

I wonder if you have moved away from your place of birth? as this feature is prominent in your desitiny.

You are at the very present going through  rapid changes in some way; more so emotionally.

Very soon you would be onto a massive change in life, which is far less traumatic.

I also wonder what changes 2009 brought you? Difficult but productive....

RishiRahul
Mesamid wrote:I guess you're right. We are all cursed.

To be specific though, the person said meli vidya (and I translated that to be black magic).

So if I'm not conniving then people will make my life difficult? :/

Yeah, ironically, I do tend to be the only one in my life who lifts me up.
I do wonder how I can do this and where I get that source of comfort ....

I did move away to another country for my education in 2001. I lived for one year on my own. It wasn't difficult but it wasn't easy either.
I still struggled but it was a different kind of struggle. Culture, language, attitudes, coarse work etc. It was nice being successful there.

Despite being alone there, my parents always caused some sort of issue. But in the first year it didn't affect me directly, so it wasn't out to difficult to deal with.

I will say that after the first year my brother was forced by them to come to where I was and study. With this move, which I didn't mind at all, my mom decided to come live with me.
(My parents didn't get along, never got along, and my mom is and was overly attached to my brother....So while she moved to be with us, it was less for us and more about her and him. To the world though, they paint it as a sacrifice for us.....If you think about it, had it been for us, then wouldn't she have moved when her only *daughter* was going to a foreign country by herself? Also, to be clear when I moved at 18, to a foreign country she didn't shed one tear, but when my brother moved  at 27 temporarily to another state she cried.....a lot. )

To be honest, I dealt with more drama, tension, frustration and headache after she moved with us. Then my dad would visit because of this move and it added to the problems. When I say problems, I mean  between us and then more so because of their bad decisions with other people after which I had to clean up their mess. I have since childhood had to clean up the mess they make with other people....and solve their problems. But it is something that when the problems occur they ask me to fix it, not my brother, and I don't need a thank you. But later, after having helped them solve all their, self-created, problems with the outside world, they behave as if I am incompetent and don't know how to even do basic tasks.

After I finished my education, I moved back home in 2007 and all my problems started, well got worse. I was living with my dad. And over the course of 10 months, my life became extremely bitter and painful. When I look back, my childhood was also difficult and chaotic, but I don't think I had ever been so miserable as I was when I lived with my dad....at 23. It's funny, as a child....it never hurt me as much....

I developed a skin condition due to a chemical product, gained weight, couldn't sleep. He would call me ugly at home and I'm being conceited but most people would not call me ugly, rather most people say that I'm pretty. He would call me stupid and all sorts of Indian bad names and that because I would question him on certain issues regarding extended family or even the past. I never failed in school or college and got great grades in school. He on the other hand has failed. And he has a visible skin condition that I never called him names for. He's also overweight. So while he has a worse situation, I never brought up those points.

To give you a better picture, we would be in the car talking about something small and if I would say, "Right but maybe they picked yellow rather than green because of so and so reason." He would blow up. He would ignore me, while at home, if he wasn't arguing with me about something. I wouldn't even eat dinner at the dining table....because I didn't want to continuously be fighting over nothing. But I made him food, and even with that he would give mean looks and yell. It wasn't because of how it tasted either. I sometimes even made packet food and that doesn't require spices etc and he would still get mad at me. And I used to study from 9 am to 10 pm with only a lunch break and a couple bathroom breaks in between....and then to go home to cook for him, hear his criticism, observe his mean looks of disapproval and more so disgust..... I was simply exhausted and confused. What am I doing wrong?

What's frustrating is he would tell others that he wanted to be home early to spend time with me...And he likes to brag a lot, so he would talk to like he was getting me luxury cars as a gift....In reality, I drove a used car which I loved. I never asked for any luxury item...But it annoys me to think that to the outside would people get to hear his version of events and because he's a man and older that he is immediately believed. He makes it seem, as if he was spoiling me rotten and my life because of him was and has always been absolutely luxurious. I had no idea he would be telling people this, until I would be at functions, get togethers and people would ask me directly if I got this gift or was pampered with luxury. I'm left speechless.

Because I didn't earn anything at the time, as I was studying, he would angrily tell me how he was forced to pay for my health insurance. He would call me a parasite...But to everyone else he would act like he's doing all this stuff for me.....

So you can see.....my level of frustration....To the world, there is one picture....in reality...I'm living something else.

These are only 5% of all the things that happened in the course of 10 months.....Eventually I couldn't study properly....I lost my academic motivation....
I felt hurt, used and mistreated.

My parents have called me every name in the book and even wished that I was dead....since childhood. I do feel sorry for my younger self for having gone through all that....
When they would fight about money, extended family, their marriage, they would come actually talk to me like I was some wise person....This started when I was only 5....
What kind of advice was I going to give them? Also....who puts a kid in that position?

How can two adults be so wrong and foolish?
Sometimes because of that notion I question myself....
If I am so right, then why are two people who ought to be my biggest supporters.....always against me and causing me problems?
It doesn't make sense that BOTH of them are wrong...

That's why...I feel it has to be me....
I have never told anyone....about all the things I dealt with and am dealing with....until last year. And even they agree with me....

But then the question is why me? My brother doesn't live with my parents anymore and has always been my mom's favorite. But even now my dad is kissing up to him....
I think it's because he's a guy and now earning....so they want to make sure...they are on good terms with him....

Maybe I'm cynical...about that. But my dad was not kind to him growing up either, because he did't get good grades, had eye problems, gained weight as a kid...Suddenly because my brother is earning and my dad feel like my brother is making him look good, I think my dad is trying to get on his good side.

Anyway, after having been through what I have, I can tell you my brother enjoys the attention....lol I don't mind, because he always has a place in my heart but I'm protective of him. Though he has the advantage of my mom's pampering....I know that my dad will not be kind to him, if say he should not perform to make my dad look good.

Anyway, I feel angry and really mad, when I think of all this...The two of them, have literally destroyed my childhood and 20s.....I don't want my future to be miserable.
I'm trying so hard to insulate myself and not be affected by them....

In 2009, my mom and brother moved back home....I actually enjoyed that because it diluted the time I had to spend with my dad....
I really enjoy being around my brother. Also in 2009, my dad started acting differently after my brother and mom came home. It was as if he was a different person.  I started eating at the table again. Other than that 2009 was not any different for me.

Everyone keeps asking me about 2009 and telling me that would have been the time for great difficulty but 2007-2008 (April 2007 to December 2008) was far worse.

Is the massive life change in terms of mindset, education, career, or family life? Also around when do you think that is?

Thank you for letting me vent....I appreciate it. Also thank you for replying to my initial post.

Hello,

Post Aug 2009 was only a relief in many ways.....! also a period of sharp experiencing adding to your experience & maturity.

Real productive growth arrives after April & Oct 2017.; while the present since Dec 2015 & Feb 2016has been confusing regarding relationships!

Good luck!

RishiRahul
RishiRahul.com
Astro-Palmist & Numerologist
Accurate timings & solutions to specific questions

Post Reply

Return to “Vedic Astrology Reading Forum”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests