sad hug

[twistedwillow]

Not even sure where to start, but i'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face.
Not sure why I'm putting this in here I just felt drawn.
Jeez I don't want to turn it into an epic, but the whole thing started the day i was born, but long story short, I am surrounded by negativity, my family, my friends who don't live near me, they all believe I'm incapable of making a decision. They all know whats best for me, and any idea i have is vetoed because its wrong, and they feel they can say horrid stuff to me because 'they love me and only want the best for me'
And they wonder why I put 1000 k's between us...
I love my life here and my friends  here are fantastic and so supportive, sorry i do realise im rambling,
I just really need a hug

[Hilary Taylor]

Hi Twistedwillow,
I am sending you an extremely large hug. You appear to need it right now. Please don't put yourself down because of other peoples negative perceptions. You are a unique individual who has a lot to give this world. Take a few moments each day to tell yourself 'I am perfect just the way I am' and 'My thoughts and feelings are just as important as anybody elses'. These two little phrases may help you regain a little bit of your own self-esteem and understanding of your worth. Please believe me when I say that I am not preaching. The reason I know these phrases work is because I too was undergoing similar things as you. I questioned everything I did; didn't think anything I did was good enough, etc. but when I began using these phrases I soon grew to understand that it was the other people who needed to think that I was helpless and needed them. Since then I have grown closer to my family as they understand just how capable I am at living my own life. I know that the same can be said for you and I wish you all the happiness I recieved from this. But please, in the meantime, along with my hug I am sending you love and positive thoughts. Take great care of yourself, and remember you always have a friend who is only a thought away.

[ResQDonna]

BIG ((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))) twistedwillow!
It seems you have realized what is true with most people! We are born with pure , clear minds and as we grow our minds are "tainted" by the teachings of people who "think" they are "doing what is best or right" for us...let me tell you...You and YOU alone have the power within you to be happy, joyous, and free! The hard part is "letting go" of all the things we were taught as that's all we know...
Coming here is the first part of your journey...take a look around the site and learn...there is much to read! Learning to meditate is a good start...it lets you see for yourself the real you!
I wish you all the best and much happiness! It can be yours if you allow it!

Sending you a warm (((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))) and lots of positive energy!

~Donna~

[taraprincess]

here is a huge hug for u sweetie... just remember u are an amazing person and we are always here for u...stay positive and it will be ok...lots of love...huggies

[soul_flower]

Heres some massive *huggles* going your way,with all my love and positive energy.

I hope you feel better soon,i know what its like to have alot of negative around you,it just keeps pulling you down.


Tamara :o)

[Gwenavr]

hey twistedwillow
you seem so  sweet heres a big ((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))) for you.
Keep your head up and Im sending Possitive energy your way ..
Gwen

[twistedwillow]

Thankyou so much for the hugs   {{{{{hugs to you all}}}}}
Still crying this morning, but feeling much better, I know I've made the right decision to choose happiness, both my son's and mine, over money at this point in time.

hugs

faline

[jojomojo]

Stop it.
Stop being there weapon and torturing yourself.
you should know by now that the aproval you are seeking from them is not going to happen.
Dont bother just live your life dont tell them much talk about the weather the happy family moments?dont be dragged down to there standards as you are being you must understand that they have there veiws and you have yours you cant change them they cant change you well not without making you live a life you dont want.
im afraid huni that you have to be the a big girl and let them be them selves,you cant make everybody happy and if you can make yourself you are lucky.so go for it.
i hope that your not planning to do something really life threatening, but if you are it is your choice, be carfull and dont forget that these people are your family no matter wat so you dont have to like them .any how babe heres a big big hug from me and all my crew hope you will be smiling with joy very soon .take care and keep strong many thoughts jojo

[twistedwillow]

Hi jojo, thanks for the hugs, and the stern talking to!
No, I have no plans on doing anything lifethreatening ... nobody can make my kidlets life as miserable as I can  :smt003

I have and am taking steps to remove myself from my family... I think mostly I went into shock last night because my best friend did exactly the same thing as my family used to do... which was tell me what to do because she knows best, and was 'cruel to be kind' .

I moved away from my family 5 years ago because I was getting extreme physical reactions from the stress that is them.  I would get huge welts on my body raised up about an inch, pretty disgusting stuff so no more physical details,  I got one the week after I moved away, and i got another a year and a half later when I went home to visit, since then, nothing, though now, 5 years later, just thinking about the possibility of moving back near them sends me into tears and shaking.
Don't get me wrong I love them and I know they love me and mean well, I'm just different to them and for a long time I was their emotional garbage bin, if they had problems with each other they would take it out on me and to me... I guess I just got too full of their emotional waste and havnt purged it yet.

sorry for such a long rambling post.

faline

[lunarcraft]

I am sending you one of my HUGE hugs - hope it helps a little

Brightest Blessings

Sarah