When the Pain Gets 2B 2 Much

[GeekyGranny]

I have a lot of medical issues and have applied for SSDI.  The first two steps I was denied because they think even with my disabilities, an employer will accommodate me and I can work.  After over 80 applications I have put out, I don't think it's going to happen.

I have been in a deep depression, not only because of my pain but also because of the betrayal of my former boss.  I'm very honest and trusting person and would never believe that someone was intimidated enough to fire me illegally.  

I feel haunted by this.  I continue to trust everyone but that situation should never have happened.

Sometimes I look at my bottle of painkillers and think about taking all of them.  But I know that if I can just separate myself from that episode, good things will come again.

It's been over 8 months now... and my future is in the hands of the judge for SSDI.  I hate not having total control of my life.  I'm very independent.  Bugs the heck out of my husband though LOL.

But I do need hugs... and some guidance.

[karlenespellman]

Hi Greekygranny,
I think you are a Virgo. I read the Virgo section of this forum, and all but the jelousy, and nit-picky fit me to a tee. Nowhere else has ever been this right on.
Anyway, I know about the control thing. I have to always be in control, or i get very depressed. If you have kids, killing yourself will never be an option, it would put them in your situation. You don't want that.
Most people in your life  before, have disapointed you. How did you deal with it then? Think very hard. For some reason you gave your former boss control over your work. I know how trusting you are. I trust so much, that I'm strange. I get burned, but I still need to do this. This is who I am. I think you are too, or you wouldn't have needed this hug.
Deal honestly with your feelings of betrayal, don't think about ever killing yourself,( not a good option for ANYONE but you at that miniscule point of time), Bug your husband until you can't stop laughing. You have NO control over the SSDI judge, don't worry about it. Life is way to short. If the Judge doesn't rule in your favor, you are strong enough to figure out what you have to do. Won't be easy, but it is your way. YOU CAN DO THIS! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. After all, you are the only one you have.
I have been where you are many times. My advice is very life learned. PM me if you would like to talk private. You are a GOOD soul. Don't give up.
Lots and lots of hugs. Hang in there, your the best.
Thank you for all you do. Kar

[lluvia]

sweetie sending you some big n big n big hugs,n possitive energy,please take good care,and dont think negative,you have lots of good people that loves you,things will get better be blessed,i will have you in my prayers lluvia

[suzisco]

Oh big hugs to you.  I hope the situation improves for you.  Its no shame to be reliant on others to help you for a while.

Suzi

[J&A_Hernandez_2007]

Many hugs to you. My aunt was in a similar situation with SSDI. It upsets me that former drug adicts ca get SSDI by claiming mental incompetence (I don't know if I spelled that right) as a result of their own poor judgement. And it doesn't take very long to get their apps approved. I will keep you in my prayers.

[thirdeye]

Hello G Granny. I am new member. First I send you hugs. It seems that you are confirming all of your difficult times. Remember that we all have the capacity to attract or create our personal realities. The law of attraction is always  in effect in our lives. We must be very careful of the things that we think. All thoughts maniefest into reality. We must all be very careful of what we allow or accept into our thoughts of reality. If we listen to the self talk that goes on in our minds and it is not benificial to us the sub-conscious mind starts to believe the negative self-talk. The sub-conscious then starts to act it out in our reality. Example If we say to ourselves that we are not smart, then our sub-conscious hears theses negative self instructions and after it is covinced that our conscious mind believes what it is saying it then acts as if we are not smart. We then maniefest stupidity into our reality. We all know people that say that they are clumsy or slow or lazy or unhappy or poor etc... These people soon become what they say. In short, be careful of the language that you use about yourself. Change your thoughts to conditions that you desire and your sub-conscious will follow your instructions once it is convinced your conscious mind believes. My entire life changed from not having enough to a life of great abundance once I learned to think of the things that I wanted and stopped thinking about the things that I did not want.This process takes a little practice. I can guarantee that once you practice this one simple rule of universal truth your life will change to those things that you really desire. Your life is in your thoughts.

God bless you
Thirdeye

[tourbi]

thirdeye, welcome to the forums. I'm fairly new here myself.  
If you don't see a thread on the law of attraction, could you please start one.

Greekygranny, lots of hugs and sending energy.

[thirdeye]

Thank you for your response to my comment refering to Law of Attraction rules. I am a scientist. I seem to be good at finding reference information about things that people generally have an interest in. It seems to be my gift. However, at times I tend to delve to deep in my explantions. This in turn takes most people on an unwanted knowledge on a roller coaster ride to hell. It seems to be the way my mind works. When I do experiments, I find  it necessary to extract as much of the information as possible. However, I can guarantee that if you ask me a question there is a 99% chance that I will give you one of the best answers in the universe. Most of my research involves the human brain. I have taken this subject to a new level. For the past 10 years this subject has all but completely captured my attention. I fell into this research head first and still its discoveries are beyond my wildest dreams. Some research results I find absolutely astounding. Some of these discoveries I will share with anyone who asks. I feel that if we as a species evolves it will be to our greatest advantage. All of the information that I will show you is carefully researched and proven by science. However I delve even deeper by showing you how this scientific data is also directly related to metaphysics and other mystical sciences. I have a personal belief that everything in the universe is connected in ways that we can not imagine. I also believe that the reason we don't comprehend these already existing  scientific truths is because of how we are programmed from birth. More about this later. If I create the thread, you or someonelse will need to assist me. When this is successfully done I promise the scientific and metaphysic knowledge I provide will astound you. All I ask is that we use this information wisely and not misuse its power. I am discovering that some knowledge is Eternal Power. I will show you how powerful and incredibly gifted each and everyone of us is. Our power is sourced and guaranteed at an unbelievable level and with a little understanding of learning how it actually works can be used in ways that we are just becoming aware of. I truly send you energy and wealth with prosperity. As I do this I automically proclaim the same for myself to be delivered to us in a correct and proper way according to all of the laws of Gods great and magnificient Universe. The only other civilizations that I have read about that had this information available seems to have been The Atlantieans, The Mayan, The Egyptians and maybe The Isrealites. Every other civilization seemed to be operating on some kind of human auto pilot or evolutionary dice game. Well thats about it for now, stay in touch

Thirdeye

[Dode]

Not that way in Massachusetts J & A.  i have a niece who has applied for ssdi, she can not get any help because she was an addict (even though she was straight and yes was, she faught and faught but didn't get anywhere and gave in) but is fighting every day to stay straight.  they don't think of it as an illness.  she tries so hard.  

I wish you luck on your venture the system S*&%$s but you need to stay strong.  You are here on MB which means you have a place to go and get hugs

[taraprincess]

sweetie here is a huge hug... much love and huggies

[soul_flower]

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time....Here is a *huggle* and my love going your way....Things always get better in the end,just have to have faith and try to keep it strong.


Tamara :o)

[kgirlsmomma]

On the wings of the Angels I send you hugs.