feeling trapped and in despair

silkconcepts · Post by **silkconcepts** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 3:11 am

Where do I begin? For years I have felt like the universe was against me. When I remarried I was hoping this would finally be the love I so craved. Soon after my son was born my husband became a completely different person. He became much more cold, distant and showed no interest in the family. He was never one big on emotion anyway. I thought for sure he was cheating on me- he denies of course. Our marriage increasingly got more strained. We tried counseling for 2 years but I think it made things worse between us. One big topic of contention was more kids. I love kids and wanted at least 2 more when we married. He knew this and had agreed as well. We had talked about this so many times. I have 2 beautiful girls from a previous marriage but they were 5 & 8 yrs older than my son. I wanted my son to have someone close in age to grow up with. We fought so much about this. He gave so many selfish reasons why he didn't want another one, even saying he had a right to change his mind and didn't need to discuss this with me. We almost went a whole year without him even touching me. I might have been able to understand if our son had been a brat but he was such a good and happy baby. My husband went behind my back and had a vesectomy. I was devastated. Yet I stayed trying to convince myself there's more to marriage than just kids, mainly for the sake of my kids. I feel so trapped. I try hard to remember what it was I loved about him once but many days I feel nothing but increasing hatred or lack of a better term a cold indifference. I'm trying to pick up the pieces. This has been hell for the past 5 yrs. Divorce is not an option, so I need to find a way to salvage this marriage. Most days I'm depressed and just want to go into a closet and cry. I gave my heart and soul to this man, bent over backwards catering to his every whim, never once asking for anything in return but still hoping for something. I don't understand how someone can tell you he loves you yet treat you this way. I definitely need a hug if there's any out there for me. Sorry this is so long.

Psychic Chef · Post by **Psychic Chef** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:05 am

Let me be the first to pass on some hugs and healing.
Cheers Pete

soul_flower · Post by **soul_flower** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:07 am

Im sorry to hear you're having a hard time.....Heres a *huggle* from me and some positive energy going your way.I hope you feel better soon.

Tamara :o)

Bandit81101 · Post by **Bandit81101** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:10 am

Hugs and warm wishes.  I feel for you, went through similar.  With my familes help I left my now exhusband and divorced him.  It is sad, what made my decision for me was the children.  Regardless of how hard I knew it would be w/o their father, it would be worse for them in the end w/ us together.
But that's just me, I give you hugs all around, espically to little ones who can feel it too

suzisco · Post by **suzisco** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:38 pm

A hug to you.

Some men do not like children being around as it takes your attention away from him.  He may resent the fact that the wee one comes before him.  Children make us realise how selfish we are and some people cannot stand the reality.

I wish you well in your future but i do wonder how you will benefit from your relationship? as my granny used to say you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear.  I hope lots of good things happen for you soon.

Suzi XXX

_Patt_ · Post by **_Patt_** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:22 pm

silk I hope everything gets better for you and I wish you all the best. I'm sure you have wonderful kids and they give you the strength and love that you need to go through this.

A BIG hug to you! ((((silk)))))

Stay with angels

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:35 pm

here is a huge hug for u sweetie... much love and huggies

RebeccaReiki · Post by **RebeccaReiki** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 11:34 pm

Love and Light to you!

In my experience it has always been the worst of times that have made me grow stronger and wiser.  All of these things that "go wrong" are for a reason, and they always seems to happen all at once.  Take from these times what you can for your own betterment, learn from them and go on.  Even when things seem to stay dim, there are always little things that we can appreciate and make ourselves happy, even if it is only for a moment.  Think and see yourself in a better place and it will happen.  Surround yourself with people who are good for you, by this I mean the ones that make you happy, comfortable and comforted.  Steer clear of those who make you uncomfortable because with these ones there follows a trail of dismay.  Keep your head up, know things will get better.....HUG

luckytsa · Post by **luckytsa** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 3:29 pm

heres a big hug for you..
I felt that way after 25 years of being with the same man.. We are now just friends and are no longer married.
Life is full of wonderful opportunities and you have been given another chance to find a better and more meaningful relationship. PLease EMBRACE your opportunity ~

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 6:11 pm

You fix your marriage, by fixing yourself..YOU and YOU alone...stop obsessing about what your husband is and does..and focus on what you are and do.  Start with being positive about yourself...YOU are a good person, a good mother, a good human being.  YOU can be positive and happy.  If divorce is not an option..why not?   "Til death do us part" means the death of the love, and the relationship...not physical death....Stop hoping, and start believing in a brighter  moment...NOW..this moment...and act as if that is true.  SOON is will be.

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feeling trapped and in despair

feeling trapped and in despair

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