hit my child!

dolly · Post by **dolly** » Thu Feb 14, 2008 5:45 am

I am  35 years old.I have a 5 year old daughter. 3 months ago I had a IUD(inter-uterine death )  and I lost my baby at 6months of pregnancy.I have had  tests done and all are  fine but my placenta was calcified ,I had light bleeding at 3 months and later at 6months.the reason of miscarriage could not be found .Since then i am very depressive.I get angry very fast and take it out on my daughter.last night i hit her because she was being very adamant about watching T.V..Iam feeling very bad but donot know how to control my anger and my little angel.PLEASE ADVICE AND GIVE HUGS TO MY DAUGHTER.

karlenespellman · Post by **karlenespellman** » Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:39 am

Hi Dooly,

Her is a HUGE HHHUUUGGG, positive energy, and LOTS of love to you and your daughter.

Go give her another HUGE HUG from me and you.

Now go sit in your favorite place, relax, and breath.

I have 4 kids, I believe in spanking and have done it many times. They're ok, I'm ok. We have all learned. I have hit 1 kid for a reason not in their control. Felt like you. I lost my baby before the others were born. Took it out on myself.

I don't take outside help. I'm probably wrong, but I think I should fix things myself.

Being on this forum, I have learned there is a lot of help if you ask for it. And I have here, and I've gotten it (good for me, finally), a lot of help. I was wrong.Back to you!!!!!!!!!

If I got it, I refused to believe, but I think you have post-partom(spelt wrong, I'm sure,) depression. Please go get the help that is out there.

Be happy you have a 5 year old heathy daughter, that you could hit,( Don't hit her anymore), get help to be happy with the one you have,( which I know you are), grieve for the one who had to leave to help someone else, and pray for the next one coming.

You are a great person, and you just did the hardest thing, asking for help. Please take it.

This is the best place to help you. Maybe your child that died has led you here for a reason. This is the most positive place I have ever been.

We are here for you.

Another HUGE HHHUUUGGG, positive energy and lots of LOVE, to your whole family.
Karlene

soul_flower · Post by **soul_flower** » Thu Feb 14, 2008 11:04 am

Heres a *huggle* and some positive energy to help you....

Im sorry to hear that and that you're finding it difficult to move on.....I havent gone thru anything like that but i know its not easy......If you feel you need to seek help,please do....Ask for it,if you need to get outside help because you are finding it hard to cope,dont leave it to late,dont be afraid to....Im sure every parent has had moments where they arent proud of what they did or a situation they were in.When people are stressed or depressed the smallest things are so hard and seem to big to deal with....We all make mistakes,just tell your little girl you are sorry,and you love her,which you are and you do......We are all here for support and help if you need us.....Take care.

Tamara :o)

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:00 pm

sweetie im sorry to hear that here is a huge hug to you and your daughter...and go give your daughter a kiss and a big hug and tell her u love her....much love and huggies

Cmoon · Post by **Cmoon** » Thu Feb 14, 2008 8:40 pm

Try to be firm in establishing boundaries for your kid...they can be very selfish.you are also entitled to some time to yourself.hugs

Psychic Chef · Post by **Psychic Chef** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:04 am

Hi Dolly
Hang in there its all up hill if you are prepared to step back and look at where you are and can be

.
Firstly ((((Huge Hugs)))) for you and your beautiful girl :) ..She is as strong and feircely independent as you have been in the past.
You know its ok to grieve, thats very important, now you need to find out what is the lesson you needed to learn from this. Ask your beautiful daughter to help you learn what is is.Do this together as a bonded couple. you both work well together and healing will follow.
You hit your child, time to stop. You have already punished your self enough way more than anything we could say ...
Sit your beautiful daughter down and talk to her about this action and your feelings , involve her so she can help, you will be suprised how understanding she really is and will do anything to get her mummy back.
Take some time out .. you deserve it.. find a sitter and go do something outragous to break your pity cycle. Make a time once a week to do something for your self think of it as a date with your happy self.
People poo poo them, but there are support groups that are wonderful and will help you find where you are in all this.
We are here to help as well and none of us are here to judge you .. none of us will throw the first stone.. we are too lazy to lift them. just kiddn :smt005 .
Thank you for the courage to talk about all this , you are wonderful and pure at heart.
Cheers Pete

dolly · Post by **dolly** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 2:45 am

THANKS FOR YOUR KIND HELPFUL GESTURES.IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER BUT I AM VERY SCARED THAT SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN AND I AM BECOMING A VERY NEGATIVE PERSON .I HOPE MY FEARS ARE NOT TRUE!!!!!!

karlenespellman · Post by **karlenespellman** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:48 am

You are already on the right path in knowing you are afraid something will happen. So STOP it from happening.

Go back and read psychic chefs reply.  Now stop, breath and read his reply.

I have to do this 'cuz I haven't figured out how to quote. Also 'cuz you have to breath.

He is very right. Do 1 or do all of these.

Stop punishing yourself, and start helping yourself now. Nothing will happen now 'cuz you are aware of it. Now is the time to start fixing it.

Lots of HUGE HHHUUUGGGSSS, positive energy, and love to you all.

Karlene

dhav · Post by **dhav** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 10:37 am

Much Hugs to you Dolly.Healing with love is the answer.

Cosmiceyes · Post by **Cosmiceyes** » Thu Feb 21, 2008 4:47 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. Long loving Hugs to you.

please...go get a medical and psychological evaluation. There is no shame in asking for help with grief of this magnitude. Your body, your hormones, your heart, your life and your family, was just dealt a devastating blow.

I have lost a child. The impact is difficult to comprehend. This is a life changing experience. please be good to yourself........inside and out.

You are a wise and loving mother to understand that you are not at your best, and this concerns you. Please, take the next step and explore the avenues of help you need at this time.

My prayers and blessings are with you and your family.

appylover · Post by **appylover** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:05 am

My heart goes out to you. I'm so so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something I could say that would help. Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and your daughter. Sending your daughter and you tons of hugs.

DashBlades · Post by **DashBlades** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 5:23 pm

First off, was it abuse? Or just disipline? I think there's a difference, and some children may need mild disipline. Still though, it should try to be avoided. But, whatever you do, do NOT take it out on your daughter. If you do that, all your pain you have will be put onto/into her. And it could stay with her for her entire life. Your number 1 priority has to be not taking your anger and pain on your daughter. Really, even if your daughter has to live with a Grandparent until you can solve your problems. You must not take it out on your daughter.

May God be with you

-Dash

Fekona · Post by **Fekona** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 6:20 pm

Hello, I have two daughters one 12 one 8 and I have lost one that was several years ago that would be 9 and I am guilty of lashing out on my kids as well, I was able to heal I know you can too!
Just admitting that you need help is a good sign that your a wonderful person, Also what was said before that you are one unit and you need to work with her is soo true, I have a much better relationship doing that with my kids then being to dominate one, they are my best friends now they even tell me that I am there best friend which is a great feeling as well
I feel that you are going to pull though this, I believe that every little thing that happens, happens for a reason, 5 years from now you may look back and realize that you had learned something valuable about yourself that you needed to know

This topic I am leaving you is filled with very good people with very good ideas on how to stay positive
http://mysticboard.org/vi ... sc&start=0

BIG HUGGS
for you and your little sidekick!
I will add you to my prayer list

Peace and love
Fekona

pahoblue · Post by **pahoblue** » Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:40 pm

I Have smacked my cavalier often for yelling...I know its not quite the same, but he all i got... and i have felt tremendous guilt after it, but was just i couldfnt take anymore.... i think its just natural.....when we are... feeling low..........Love to you.PAUL x

lluvia · Post by **lluvia** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:12 pm

huge hugs possitive energy,im sorry 4 your loss,i know how you feel,i also lost a child,here is a big big big hug to you,

lluvia

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hit my child!

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