having issuses with my sons father

ladybloodmoon · Post by **ladybloodmoon** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:55 am

well to start me and my sons dad arn't together we were supposed to be getting married before i ended up pregent in 05 but four months into the pregency he left me i had complications with the perengcy and couldn't work but in march 06 a month eairly i had my beutifule baby boy. any way now it's 08 and he's going to be 2 his dad has sort of been spending time with him and i really want him to know our son and for our son to know him but he dose this thing were he'll take him for a couple days and then tell me that he'll see him on the weekends since he dosn't really have anyone to watch him while he's at work and i understand that but then theres times that i'll have our son all ready to go with him and he'll call me up and say he's not comeing to get him when i ask him why he just tells me that he dosn't want to and i have to go and tell my son that his daddy isn't comeing and my son ends up upset and crys and crys still amazes me just how much kids do understand even at that age and i try to comfort him and hold him and it makes me upset to see my son so upset and i have no clue what to do about it i can't change my ex i know that he would have to decied to do that i've tried talking to him and telling him that he's hurting our son but it dosn't seem to be doing any good i love my son very much and  he's a happy boy with mommy most of the time but i wish his dad would wake up and relize what his missing out on

dhav · Post by **dhav** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 10:02 am

Hi LadyBloodMoon,

A huge hug to you.

It must be hard for you both for the father not to be present.Hope the father got to know what he is doing and begin taking his reposibility son.I will pray to my angels for you both.The kid needs his daddy.

dhav

Rhutobello · Post by **Rhutobello** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 11:29 am

First of all, I will give you a Great Grandpa hug and at the same time congratulate you for avoiding to marry this guy!

It is sad what happen to your kid, but if he loves his father, then your main task must be to support him, like you tell you do, and not try to talk him away from seeing him.

As long as your son is young, he will need his father figure, but when he starts to mature, his father might be paid back due to the many broken promises.

Your situation is not unique, I have a daughter who was in the same situation as you. That Grand child is now 27, and she fully understands what her father has done, but that has been true her own experience and not true "bad talk from her mother"

She is now allowing her father to have contact on her rules, and now I believe the father is the suffering part.

I wish you both good luck, and also a big Hug to you both!

ladybloodmoon · Post by **ladybloodmoon** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 6:59 pm

thanks for the encorgement and yes i suport my son i also understand how he feels and will feel in the future if his father dosn't wake up which i really do hope he does. my own father was never there for me after my parents devorced i can't recall any times that he was anyway and people other then my mother used to tell me what a jerk my father was i hated hearing it and so i tell people that are around my son not to say hurtful things about his dad around him and i never talk bad about his father when he's around maybe to my best friend when were alone but never in front of my son i try to take my example form my mother she's a smart lady even if she did annoy me by always seeming to be right lol

karlenespellman · Post by **karlenespellman** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:09 pm

Hi ladybloodmoon

A HUGE HHHUUUGGG, positive energy and love to you and you son.

My 3rd ex did this to his 2 kids,(my younger 2). I did just what you are doing, making excuses for him
and not talking bad about him.
What made it worse, my 2nd ex (my older 2), has always been a great father and presence in their lives, this made my younger ones feel worse.

As they all got older, my younger 2 realized on their own how their dad lies to them,(especially now as teens). My 2nd ex has always taken all 4 of my kids.

I hope he will change. It is going to hard on you, but you are doing right, and your son will always know you were the one there for him. The rewards are many, just a tough road to get over.

PM me if you would like to talk.

Another hug for you both.
Lots of love.
Karlene

Psychic Chef · Post by **Psychic Chef** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 11:37 pm

Hi Ladybloodmoon
Huge hugs and love from me.
They dont call them "Deadbeat dads for nothing"  :smt013
This situation will not change untill your son comes of age. which is not because of what you are trying to do

.
You are doing all the right things to help and nurture and i know its hard to do especialy when you only want the best for your child.
My Biological dad was the same i have seen him maybe 10 times in 47 years 8 of those were in the first 6 years.
Everything will run its course and there will be a positive outcome eventualy.
If theres anything i can do to help just holler.

 :)
Cheers Pete

pirbid · Post by **pirbid** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 11:51 pm

Hugs to you and your baby, M'Lady. You are certainly acting like a true lady. And I agree with grandpa Rhuto that you have been wise to avoid marrying this man. Such a shame that they cannot be exchanged or refunded at the mall... I am specially sorry to hear about your son's getting so upset, poor soul. At least he has all your love to grow into and he will be stronger for it.

My 2nd ex has always taken all 4 of my kids.

Karlene, what a family life!  :smt003 I am not surprised you seem so experienced in these matters. Good for you!  :smt002

karlenespellman · Post by **karlenespellman** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:45 am

Hi Pirbid,

That's the reason I can help all but myself.

i am very lucky my ex takes care of all of them. He helped where Lady has to struggle.
My favorite thing is what you have market.  EXCHANGE ALL MEN AT THE MALL. You would be very rich.

I haven't had that good of a laugh all day. THANK YOU.

ladybloodmoon · Post by **ladybloodmoon** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 3:50 am

thanks to everyone who has posted it really helps hearing (reading) that i'm doing the right thing and all the positive comments and specal thanks to pirbid for the mall comment it made me laugh.

Druid_of_Ark · Post by **Druid_of_Ark** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 5:16 am

The biological entity that provided the sperm for your child was not a man. For a man owns up to his responsibilities. I have no children of my own, but believe that had I it would be a sacred duty to raise the sons to me Men of Honour and the Daughters to be Ladies in the True sense of the word. But anyway, (((((((((HUG))))))))) there is a hug for you.

soul_flower · Post by **soul_flower** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 7:29 am

Its never easy to go thru that......My ex didnt move in until our son was 1 1/2yrs old because we had a long distance relationship.....And he hasnt moved out yet due to not having a place,but the time is coming in april....My son will be 2 1/2 and my heart is already breaking because i know how my ex is....He loves his son and will see him but i know when a new woman comes into his life we will probably be on the back burner,or my ex will say he is to tried to drive down and see him......I already fear how my son will cope.....

You arent doing anything wrong,all you can do is support and comfort your little boy....Its the ex's lesson he will have to live with for not making an effort......And your son will have an extra strong bond with you and when he is old enough will know the truth....I know it hurts to see your son upset but like i said thats ur ex's doing,you're trying to help your ex make an effort but he isnt coming to the party.

I wish you all the best,heres some massive *huggles* and my love going to you.

------------------------------------------

LOL pirbid....Wouldnt that be something.....To bad we cant.....Hehe

Tamara :o)

ladybloodmoon · Post by **ladybloodmoon** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 5:33 pm

thanks every one for the positvie thoughts and soul flower heres a hug back and one for your son as well if you ever need to vent feel free to pm me

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:31 pm

sweetie here is a huge hug...much love and huggies

Druid_of_Ark · Post by **Druid_of_Ark** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 11:20 pm

That is Blessed Be in Gaelic. I invoke Blessings on you and the others here. In the name of the Goddess Brigid.

Mystic Board

having issuses with my sons father

having issuses with my sons father

Nae a Man

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