Sick of not getting respect

pinkspikes · Post by **pinkspikes** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:32 pm

It seems like most of the people I hang out with treat me with little to no respect. It wasn't always like this, when I first started hanging out with some of them they seemed really nice and seemed to enjoy my company. Ever since Fall and Spring semester though some mean people have joined the little group of friends I have and whenever I'm around this new group spends their time attacking me. Telling me I'm ugly, or telling me to shut up whenever I start talking (which is barely).

I'm not the only person they do this to, they do it to two other people. I think it's completely ridiculous that because of one or two new additions everyone whom I thought were my friends now insult me whenever they have a free moment. I feel like I'm hanging out with a bunch of sheep.

I just want to be somewhere, where even if people don't like me they respect me enough not to say anything. I feel like I'm hanging out with a bunch of immature little kids, when I'm 21 years old.

tourbi · Post by **tourbi** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:44 pm

After wanting to share hugs,

my first thought for you was and still is, Please Please Please respect yourself enough to walk away.
I know it isn't easy and can be lonely.  
Treat yourself as you want to be treated.  Treat youself with the care and honoring and respect you want from others.  Show them how you deserve to be treated in how you honor, respect and care for yourself.  Yes of course, treat all others with the same care and respect.  
Sometimes it is just best to walk away.  Sometimes it is better to be with yourself rather than be with people who aren't kind to you.
Take good care of yourself!!
You deserve the best.  

dhav · Post by **dhav** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:40 pm

Yea Tourbi said right.Give yourself respect.i don't think it would be wise to hang around with people who don't show you respect.Let them know about how u feel.if they don't take it seriously then i don't think they should be called freinds.You can be among 10 people but feel lonely,rejected and you can also feel happy being with yourself.well i am not saying you should be alone.Find friends that deserve your respect.

dhav

ps Tourbi your flower smiling is really cute.i have a bunny holding the smiling flower.lol  :smt003

karlenespellman · Post by **karlenespellman** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 1:13 am

Hey pinkspikes,

They took the words out of my mouth. So I'll just add. I'm not very fond of sheep, but goats and cows are very friendly. LOL but true. I prefer cats.

Most people your age are going to act 2 until life hits them, thank your (   ), that you are already there and ready to move on.

A HUGE HHHUUUGGG, POSITIVE ENERGY and LOVE to you.  Hang in there.

Karlene

pirbid · Post by **pirbid** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 1:33 am

Dear me! these forums are full of young people like yourself having trouble with their peers. Have you not seen those other posts? It makes my heart bleed that people are treated so cruelly during their formative years (and that includes early infancy). How do we expect to get balanced adults after all that trauma?

The worst of it, Pin, is that those ages are precisely when we give more importance to what our peers think of us: exactly when they are more thoughtless and their opinions not very solid, since their personalities are still in the making and they all tend to follow the leader of a pack. But, unlike animal pack leaders, ours are the most insecure: their egos are built upon the putting down of others. When they have no one to push around, they are nothing.

So please listen to our wise Tourbi and all who came behind. If you have outgrown that phase, leave them behind. Let them catch up to you if they can: they still have some learning to do. Do not waste your time: there are wonderful people awaiting you out there, even if they are not exactly your age or your same background. The world is (thankfully) huge and varied.

You don't have to put up with anything: turn away, it's not worth it. And enjoy all our hugs, like these  :smt056  

 :smt020

soul_flower · Post by **soul_flower** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 7:18 am

Some people can be nasty to others,such bullies.....Why dont you try to hang around the other two who are also getting this treatment,start your own group.....You shouldnt be around people like that because they bring you down,you're better than that and deserve more......Sometimes being a "loner" is better than putting up with that extra crap.Negative,hurtful people arent worth it......Be truthful to yourself.

Heres some *huggles* and positive energy to help boost you out of this situation.

Tamara :o)

jlo · Post by **jlo** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 12:35 pm

I agree with what everyone has said . I think it would be better for you to walk away from such people. And hopefully, you'll make new friends who will treat you with respect . Best of luck and sending you lots of hugs

Psychic Chef · Post by **Psychic Chef** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 1:42 pm

With friends like these you will never need a laxative

.
Time to tell them to take a hike.
You are a wonderful person who should have not to worry about people who cant cope with there own lives so they have to screw up yours to make them feel good. These people bring a new meaning to the word "shallow".The two who dont do it to you sound like the people who are better friends to be with.
You can always find new friends its only relatives that you can get rid of

.
Cheers Pete

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 6:35 pm

sweetie here is a huge hug...much love and huggies

pinkspikes · Post by **pinkspikes** » Thu Mar 06, 2008 4:04 am

Thanks for the advice and kind words, everyone. It means a lot to me that I have a place to go to vent and clear my head of all this junk. =D

I just try not to hang out with the ignorant people or sit in the cafe by them when they are in there. It's hard sometimes though to not end up sitting over there while hanging out with someone I like. (They're never mean to me around a few people whom I am friends with - that I think they're afraid of)

It's just a huge shock to me that people whom I've barely spoken with have such harsh and mean judgments of me considering I've come a long way from hating myself in elementary school and finally realized in high school that I'm actually pretty, smart, talented etc. etc. and grew confidence from that.

Ever mean thing said just kind of knocks my confidence down from where I triumphantly brought it to, you know?

tourbi · Post by **tourbi** » Thu Mar 06, 2008 4:16 am

When I was in school the kids were not nice. Put my head in the toilet, frogs in the car, lots of unkind things. It was so difficult
It was a girls school, girls can be brutal.
I had problems at home too. I learned to stand tall, be around them and take care of myself to the best of my ability. I had little support. I kept a diary to dump my feelings.

Years later I met one of the girls in a store. She wanted to talk, I felt that same ole pit in my stomach, I was not thrilled.
We talked. She shared tons, me little. Finally she asked why I was being so distant. I shared that she didn't like me, why want to talk now. She and the others had been so unkind, why reach out now?
She suddenly became shy and embarrassed.
"Because you were so strong and self assured. We were all so jealous of you. We wanted to be like you and didn't have that confidence." I think she meant it. Little did she know.

Amazing what people do when they are jealous/envious. When people want who you are, let alone what you have, it's very difficult for them to be nice to you and be friends.
Take care. Know it's not about you. It's about something in them.
Keep loving yourself. Keep being the best you can be and keep giving them energy that they can do the same for themselves.
Again, take good care of you.

karlenespellman · Post by **karlenespellman** » Thu Mar 06, 2008 5:01 am

Pink   listen.

Tourbi you are very correct. Sorry you had to find out the hard way. But thanks to them, we get the person you are.

Thanks and love to you all.

karlene

amarykans · Post by **amarykans** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 9:40 am

this might sound kind of an obvious thought and Im sure you must of thought this  yourself. Get a new group of friends to hang out with.  I went through a friendship that for a while seemed to include a new person everytime I turned around and it was great.. but the one person in the center of our group that seemed to connect us all together decided that she had to always take her depression and irritability out on me and a couple of others that were close. It was a hard decision to make to cut my losses and find people that I felt worthy to be friends  and not treating people like crap. Its not weak to let go of a friendship.. Its strength to stand up for yourself ad be with people that make u want to be in their lives. good luck to you

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Sick of not getting respect

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