I am really, really, really, really, depressed.

pinkspikes · Post by **pinkspikes** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:01 am

So I am really depressed right now and it's mostly because I feel really doubtful of my past decisions.

But what is worse is that I just found out that a week ago my best friend moved to Virginia, which is 3 states away from me, without even saying goodbye.
She told me to just transfer there, and that she loves me and wants me to be there. But she doesn't realize that I have commitments and a life in my state. I just can't pick up and leave at a drop of the hat.

But at the same time I wish I could. Because I love her she's one of my best friends. One of those people I would spend all my time with if I could. I'm worried about her because I feel like she's going to end up going down the wrong path in her new situation as she was beginning to do before she moved to Va.

She was so much different when she was hanging out with me and lived around me. She was so much less wild.

But I just feel kind of selfish because I feel like everyone is just leaving me. I feel like it's me. I feel like I'm a bad friend/girlfriend and my best friend can't stand me just like my ex couldn't (so much so that he felt like a car would be a fair trade). I know I shouldn't feel horrible or selfish or like it's my fault.

I mean, I would never do that to anyone. (leave without saying goodbye/leave a lover for a new car) I would feel horrible. But it seems like all my friends are just leaving year after year...everyone i care about is just leaving me here in the same place...all alone.

Izuno · Post by **Izuno** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 10:49 am

First of all, I would like to give you a really big hug!

Sweetheart, I'm really sorry you feel alone right now. I've been through that stage, and I know that it's the worst feeling in the world. I think it's part of life for everyone to find others for support and love. You can cry and cry alone, but crying doesn't change anything. Well, you might get all of your emotions out of your chest, but it won't change your situation.

All I can suggest is that you go out there and make new friends. I know you're hurting because your friend left you, but you can still keep in contact with her. It's also possible to visit her or something too. As your lover, well, think about it. Do really want a guy who cares more about cars than you? Go out there and find a smarter guy who's more loving towards you.

Remember, there are so many people out there in the world. If you try, you can have many friends and people who love you.

I hope you feel better soon.

Menerwa · Post by **Menerwa** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:10 pm

Many many hugs to you!

I have felt the same way, everyone I cared for just left me in a way or another, which made that I felt lonely and I got that selfish feeling. But I think that doesn't really help, to just stand doing nothing except feeling selfish and left alone. I think you should try to think positive and keep in contact with your friend, tell her about your feelings (especially your worries) and Izuno said, maybe visit her sometime if possible. I think that is important.

A good idea except keeping in contact with your friend would also be to move on, get a new hobby for example, that uses to give me some new positive kicks in life. A new hobby would also be a chance to make new friends, depending on what kind of hobby it is. It doesn't always have to be a new hobby either, it can also be something you've always wanted to do or something you've left aside because you haven't had enough time for it before.

Take care of and spoil yourself (a spa-day?:smt002), it will get better.

jlhansl · Post by **jlhansl** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 5:29 am

Pinkspikes, I have read your post and personally I think you are a very sweet person. It's a good thing that you care about your best friends and I am sure they are lucky to have known you.

Don't worry about being 3 states away. You still have a million chances to keep in touch by phone or mail.

For wild things she has done, let her know that you wish the very best things always be around her. She will be grateful for that.

And last thing about your ex, forget about him. I never heard that a guy could ever compare a fine lady with a car. Only silly guys would do that  :)

karlenespellman · Post by **karlenespellman** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:40 am

Hey pinkspikes,

Here is a HUGE HHHUUUGGG, positive energy and love to you.

Karlene

dhav · Post by **dhav** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 2:39 pm

HI Pinkspikes,

A huge hug to you.

You are a great special person.You don't have to blame yourself to be selfish  or bad.I am sure you will meet better persons who will respect your feeling in future.Just be gentle with yourself.Your friend might be having some of her problem that she couldn't tell you goodbye.Just be patient and focus another things of your life.
A happy person attracts good things.

dhva

tourbi · Post by **tourbi** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 4:29 pm

Big hugs, be good to yourself.  Be gentle with yourself.  

pinkspikes · Post by **pinkspikes** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 5:19 pm

Thanks everyone. I still feel really bumpy. For the past week something really bad has happened to me at least once a day. I get in a fight with a current boyfriend and I don't even know how it happened, I lose one of the only friends I have in the place that I live, I somehow got overdrawn in the bank and now my father is really upset with me, and I apply to about 40 places and never get a call back or get the shove off when I go in to ask about it.

I really feel like the rut I was in with my money situation has gotten worse and I'm not feeling better now that all this other stuff is happening. It's like I have no where to turn. Except that I have here to let it out...I'm glad you listen.

I just want to feel better.

tourbi · Post by **tourbi** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 5:27 pm

I know this will sound weird.  We attract where we are, so if we are down and that is our focus, that is where our energy accumulates.  
Even if you feel like you are lying to yourself, get up and be grateful for all you have and all you want to have.  For being debt free, for having great friends, for the wonderful day you are having, for the love you feel, for the beauty of the planet, for the bounty the Planet is giving you, for each penny you have, for everything.  
Then go thru the day thanking the flowers, the pennies, the friends, the smiles you see.  
Keep yourself up and happy over each thing.  See the best, see the happy, see the love.
Thank the Divinity you believe in for all that is being given each moment and for all that is to come.
Be open to receive the best and most wonderful.
I know you will say, ARGH, I'm down.
Give it a try, for a whole week.
Then see what happens.  

tourbi · Post by **tourbi** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 5:31 pm

added:  Also, give of yourself, not things, but of yourself to every one you encounter.  Give a "Hi", a smile, tell the woman you see in a pretty dress that you like the dress on her, tell the man he has a cool tie.  Give what you want to receive, give smiles, warmth, happiness, the more genuine you can be, the more come back to you.  Give of yourself. NOT THINGS and people will respond well.  Again, give it a week or more, you will see that people are thrilled to be seen and that someone beautiful is smiling at them.  It means a lot to them and most will try their best to give back.  The more you give, the more room you have to receive.

karlenespellman · Post by **karlenespellman** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 6:26 pm

Very nice Tourbi and so very true.

Keep your chin up Pink

soul_flower · Post by **soul_flower** » Mon Apr 07, 2008 5:02 am

Heres a *huggle* and my love going to you..........Everyone goes in different directions in life,their own path and for some they feel left behind....You're not being left behind they are just doing what they need to do,make their own way.........With your friend heading down the wrong path,well you cant do much about it...Only support her and be the loving friend you already are....Its up to her to pick which way she chooses to go in life,you cant live for other people,you can give your opinion and advice but in the end she will do what she wants......I have had a few friends go the wrong way,but they learnt some lessons from that and grew alot from their mistakes....In a way it was better that they learnt for themselves,they needed too......I think you need to try and pull yourself out of this rut,because like tourbi said we attract where we are.......You need to be more positive and find something that makes you smile and be filled with joy....I to when i get in a rut think of the negative but there is always something positive in a situation...It isnt easy but put a smile on your dial and shine :P .....You're a lovely person,if only there were more people in this world who looked after and cared for others like you do.....

All the best to you.......Tamara :o)

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Mon Apr 07, 2008 3:13 pm

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies

Psychicgaijin · Post by **Psychicgaijin** » Tue Apr 08, 2008 11:09 pm

Hi Pink!

I am sorry your friend left like that. Maybe inside it was just as hard on her to go and she just couldnt face you and the saddness.

But, this is a good time to think in terms of how independent you can be if left all alone in the world. I am having those life lessons come up now. That is one reason why I value forums and boards such as these. They help.

Time to expand your network... perhaps the Universe if providing a gentle nudge to grow and some new person or people will come into your lfe.

Hugzzz
Jim

P.S. Oh by the way, the reason everyone is leaving is that you are growing spiritually!! You have grown so much that they done fit in your new world. You will have new people come in; when you relax and release and let go of the old. It will be fun and exciting!

pinkspikes · Post by **pinkspikes** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 5:52 am

Thanks everyone for listening to me whine.
I feel a bit better now although I'm still a little hurt. You all helped a whole lot.
I just wish I new what happens next, you know?

Mystic Board

I am really, really, really, really, depressed.

I am really, really, really, really, depressed.

Who is online