Endless bad luck- ive tried so hard to stop it-IT WONT LET UP...

[hope999]

Thank u so much for taking the time to read this. Firstly, i would like to clarify that when i have read similar posts (in regards to bad luck)- those writing the posts have been advised to think positively, dispel negativity from their life through ceasing to view their life as 'negative'/ full of endless bad luck etc.
I have done this several times throughout my lifetime in a bid to stop repeated and endless bad luck in my life.

I have been verbally and mentally abused for 25 years by my mother. I am unable to escape the situation due to my bad luck( i will explain later) which is essentially being sacked from every job I’ve ever had, which means i am never financially stable, so cannot leave the situation I am in living with her.

When i confided in people about what she has done to me my whole life, they simply abused me and when she found out, she pretended to these people that I had abused her! (the other way round!).And they believed her!

NOTHING in my life ever works out. I am 25 and have never had a serious relationship.
It is all really weird and contradictory- I am told I am intelligent etc when I go to job interviews- yet never offered the job. Told I am beautiful, yet NEVER approached by attractive men. And have only been approached by 4 attractive men in my life – who all turned out to be idiots.

Men NEVER approach me and i am simply harrased by men i have no interest in (i.e physically unattrative,unitelliengent etc- they bizarelly all look the same, and are all of the same moron level of intelligence).I did see a healer a little while ago, who said that it was part due to some sot of submissive engery , recitified it, and it did lessen. But still infuriating that I have to have such basic things rectified, whilst EVERYONE else in my life can live their life without fighting to not be beaten up by morons, simply due to the fact that they have no interest in them

In regards to bfs - I am not particularly vacuous- and am not so short sighted that i only go for looks- i do need to be friends with potential bfs first.

However, my male 'friends' have simply been my friend to use me for physical benefits then run away if I have succumbed, or turned nasty (even after 4 year plus of friendship) when I have refused sexual advances.
Every man I’ve ever been interested in has run away from me which has TOTALLY shot my self confidence, im never approached, and in the rare occasion taht i am , it is by AWFUL men that are highly unattractive, inarticualte and often threaten to beat me up etc (and two have) due to my refusal(this kind of stuff is standard in my life).

So as mentioned, I have been sacked from every job ive ever had, i am always disliked by my immediate bosses despite me trying as hard as i can - i.e staying really late everyday, getting in early, going over and above what is implicitly necessary.

In 4 years (since graduating)- ive been consecutively sacked from 4 jobs,made redundant from one, worked with a woman that saw fit to physically and verbally assault her staff.Note how this kind of stuff is rare for most people, yet regular occurrences in my life. Hence why I am emotionally exhausted. 25 years of this level of bad luck, simply changing each year in worsening.

My friends are all fake, male friends try to use me for sex/always have hidden agendas, female friends turn their back on me if i go thru any crisis -i.e recently i was made homeless, and all my 'friends' turned their backs on me i.e ignored (the ONLY request) i have ever made of them to stay with them for 2days whilst i tried to find a new home. They didnt even respond to my messages, didn’t even phone me to see if I was ok- despite knowing I was literally on the street with nowhere to go!
despite me giving them so much finanically, emotionally etc in the past.

i have tried so hard over the past 5 years to combat/fight this bad luck. Ive tried NLP- to help me think (even when im being sacked, dumped, used,ignored etc) that my life is great and everything will get better if i think positively, for things to literally jsut get worse each month. even psyhic healers who supposedly claim to be 'caring' have abandoned me!

i have tried crystal healing, reiki healing, shamanic healing, psychic readings, nlp, counselling, thinking postive- NOTHING has helped. patterns simply repeat themselves year after year, the only change being things worsening.

I feel i am cursed and someone said they saw it in my cards, but there is NOTHIGN i can do.
the healer carried out various spells to help various areas of my life to improve (to protect me from baD luck and any one that may be hexing mE)..
instead straight after she cast the spells, i lost my job, home and 'friends' turned their backs on me.

in regards to relationships with me, it is bizarre as (without sounding bigheaded- i am simply, mentioning this for demonstrative purposes to highlight i am not sensationlising/victimising).people endlessely tell me im really beautiful etc of their own accord(unprompted).

i do not believe this as feel that reality surely has proved im not - thru every single man that has ever been involoved with me running away.
yes, you may say perhaps there is something subconciosuly needy/hideous about me- but as i said, ive tried really hard to swop negative thoughts/behaviors with positive ones- so i have tried to help myself.

so to summise - i have experienced bad luck since birth, father died when  I wa s 13 , leaving me to an absuive mother, when i spoke up about it- noone beleived me and those i confided in believed her lies that i was abusing her and they turned on my to condemn me. I am told im beautiful (unprompted) by people, yet men never approach me other than unattractive morons to threaten to rape/maim me due to the fact that I have no interest in them(this happens regularly)

eligible men never approach me and i meet one eligible man on average every 5 years, and they ALWAYS turn out to use me, mistreat me. i.e the only 'serious' realtionship ive ever had was one with the man i waited 21  years to lose my virginity to, he dumped me the next day, saw me once a week thru the 'realtionship' , never phoned, was misogynistic, and had racist parents he saw fit to subject me to for no reason!

since then, men have done what i mentioned above, or i dont exist to ones that i find attractive, either way they run away sooner or later even in the rare occurence that they are interested.(i.e once every 5 years).Even a man (one of the very few that have been interested in me) that seemed eligible i.e attractive, got on with him, nice guy – turned abusive for no reason and that was that. All the stuff is inexplicable i.e I don’t do anything to sabotage it i.e be needy etc, yet a negative outcome si ALWAYS guaranteed. i.e I knew this guy had liked me for 6 years, I refused him for an inexplicable reason/ I wasbusy being mistreated by some other guy that again used me and had no genuine intrest in me and destroyed me, yet I still let him. Once this was over, I pined for him for 2 years (!) refused the very few others that approached (including the guy above). I finally entertained the guy above a few years later, thought time would serve me well as I knew the things that worked i.e you need to see past simply physical attraction and be friends with lovers first. He seemed a potential, we persued each other , for once in my life it looked promising, then he turned abusive for no reason and ran away.

I have lost 4 jobs, mentally and verbally abused regularly,have no stable home, no money, no real friends, all friends abandon me and want ill luck for me, i.e one 'friend' rejoiced (openly) when me and my ex split.

i literally have nothing, i have tried so hard to change my luck, help myself etc,- for things to worsen. I am SO sick of my life, so sick to trying to get what EVERYONE else has in my life so easily i.e bfs/jobs.happiness. EVERYONE around me (im not exaggerating) has at least one thing they want i.e a job, a home, a partner. Yet  I have NONE of those things that people see as basic in their lives, and I have NEVER had any of those things (that last). Also as I said, the bizarre irony is that employers tell me im intelligent and an ‘amazing’ candidate even when im in the jobs, then sack me, and im told im beautiful- to never be approached by ANYONE attractive, lest once every 5 yrs by men that simply try to use me for sex, berate me and/or run away.

i dont know what to do, or where to turn. im SO tired.much as people will say help yourself, beleive in good etc-.. there is only so much you can control life(i.e meeting a soulmate,- you can t control or force this, and there is only so much you can control the odds of getting a job you like and are liked in etc).
dont know what to do.where to turn...All and any advice would be very welcome (no “think positively advice”, as ive done that! and thx SO much for reading such a lengthy post.

[dhav]

First of All a Happy Birthday to you.



Then a big hug


Now from what I have read you are complaining about the bad luck series in your life.First thing you should do is to put up in your mind that you got to stop that.These bad luck can't touch you anymore.Have yourself a rhodonite crystal if you beleive in crystal healing.While buying it say to yourself it is for healing your heart chakra and attract beautiful things such as love in your life.

Everyday if possible meditate or do things that makes you happy.Don't bother about the things that make you unhappy.Put them aside.You see problem come whenever you are thinking about them.This way you are attracting them to you.Talk to your angels if you beleive you got one.Just ask them to help you out of this.It will take effect gradually.Be patient.

While you have been losing on many things it's very possible that the best one is reserved for at some time of your life.May it be love or job.First work out on yourself.Love yourself .Then love will follow as well as good luck.

I am sure on the coming years You will be all smiling bright and happy.

dhav:smt003

[Doe]

Hi, Hope (your "name" here is a good start!  :)),

I honestly have no idea what I'm going to say here, but I promise not to bore you with the "think positively" line (although there's never any harm in doing that to whatever extent you're able, in my opinion--but that's not always all it takes).

It sounds as if you've found yourself in an endlessly repeating series of patterns since you were a child.  Abuse of any kind--especially from a parent, who is supposed to love, nurture, and protect you--can be debilitating for a very long time, even if you've "tried everything" to counterract the effects of the abusive parent's actions in your life.  Patterns are learned early on--at first, they are formed as defense mechanisms, and may in fact protect you, but later on (and I'm sure you're aware of this) those ingrained patterns (which you may be so used to that they seem as natural as breathing by the time you become an adult) can become as destructive in your life as the original abuse.  You say that you've worked hard NOT to let those negative patterns affect your life, but you're still young, still living (by necessity, I understand) with your abusive mother, and still lacking anything that you can call "yours" and be proud of.  My guess is that those patterns are still hard at work.  My impression is that (and I have no doubt that you haven't done a lot of work on it already, based on what you've said) you still have a lot of work to do to finally defeat them.  They've been with you for almost 25 years, and are not likely to just go away with a few sessions of counseling, psychic consultation, healing sessions, etc.  I'm 46, and I'm STILLl working on things. It's not easy for anyone.  Have you looked into support groups for people who have suffered abuse in your area?  Or can you research therapists, look around until you find someone who REALLY seems to "fit" for you, and then STICK WITH IT and not get discouraged if you don't get results fairly quickly?

Recently a new thread called "Empowering ourselves" was started here under "General Discussions"--I think it might be useful to you:
http://mysticboard.org/vi ... hp?t=47901

I'm also about to go out on a limb here.  If I sound harsh or judgemental,  or as if I'm "blaming the victim" that's not my purpose at all (NO ONE EVER deserves to be abused!!)--it's just a "first impression" that I got while reading your post that you might want to consider.  You seemed to talk a lot about how people respond to you, how they haven't helped you, and how no one seems to care.  In my own experience, what we give gets given back to us many times over, in wonderful and unexpected ways.  Doing things to help others and make them happy can do wonderful things for self-esteem, and take our minds off of the things that we feel are lacking in our own lives (and I've also often found that things come to us when we're not looking for them so actively).

So, just a suggestion--are there things that you can do for others (even the "smallest" things can make a difference!)?  It could be anything--volunteering for just a couple of hours a week, helping a friend with something, paying sincere compliments to strangers, even possibly doing something for your mother (I know that may sound strange, but give it some thought).  Again, it's just a thought that seemed to pop into my mind as I read.

I hope you weren't offended by anything I said.  Others will come along with advice here, too.  I hope that things start to go better for you, and feel free to write again.

Doe

[soulsearch]

Dear Hope,

It must have been really tough and at times nearly impossible going through what you have been through.Childhood experiences shape up our self image.Our individuality/self worth starts depending upon what others think about us.

In your post one thing that clearly stands out is that you are a survivor. I agree with Dhav love yourself, find yourself attractive and be beautiful inside out - how you do it is your call,convinience and comfort.

I have no advice or solution but all I can say that take each day as it comes. The big picture will fall in place.

Take care and vent away any time dear.

{{{hugs}}}

[d_vampyra]

Great name to start with.

THINK POSITIVELY!  I am only joking!

That will never work by it's self.  Are you still surrounded by these people?

Your mother for one, i hope that she is far away (to begin with).  I think that the issue here is that you need to understand that these people have done these things to you because of themselves and not because of you.  So blaming them is never going to work as their self absorption will not at this moment allow them to see what they have done to you as wrong.

 You must begin by letting go of the past.

This is a very very very hard step as it is hard to give people a "how to" on this, but a major part of that process is forgiving them.  I know that this sounds silly, but by not forgiving them you hold that energy within yourself.  THese people do not know or understand what they do, they never leave the needs of themselves to look about.  This is nothing that you will be able to affect no matter how hard you try.

Next I agree with DOE.  Giving of yourself selflessly to others is a necessity.  You must leave yourself out of you.  That may seem hard to understand but basically forget about your own self and needs for a while.  

HOW AM I GOING TO FIX THINGS IF I DON'T THINK ABOUT ME?

the one thing that is pronounced in 90% of cases of depression and "trails of Bad luck"  Is the person will always have had such a bad run, that their main focus turns to themselves and this is where the spiral quickens and goes down faster.  

We are made as communal beings and to become happy balanced people we need to function in this way.

Volunteer work is great, and i recommend almost anything, and as much as you can stand at the first place.

I was in a very similar position and for a very long time,  and unfortunatley as it is with many of these situations you cant seem to stop it until it hits rock bottom, which is where your life and death choices come in.  I was lucky enough through my own self destructiveness, after getting out of hospital from trying to end it, to say why waste my life and kill myself when i could devote it to others.

I stopped thinking about myself and it was the best thing that i have ever done. 22 years of inescapable Hell seemed to dissappear in WEEKS!

Those around me have not changed, my parents, old aquantences but i have forgiven them and accept them for the unhappy people that they are and i still do what i can for them because i understand that they, like i used to,  blame the world (or people) around them and use and abuse things to make themselves feel better which only makes them worse.

This is an understanding that must come to you from within and selfless aid will help you to see.

I am not saying that this will end all the problems that you have had, life is hard continuos struggle and work and i myself am falling at the moment a little also, but i will never go down the spiral again because i know.

I will give you all the hugs and affection that you want.

But to start will take the real need to want to enact the change.

You will probably disreguard what i have said, it is really hard to take advice when you feel so low, BECAUSE NOTHING IN YOUR EYES IS GOING TO WORK AND THERE ARE NO QUICK FIXES!  no witch doctors, psychics, tarot readers or Doctors will will take it all away from you and give you a better life.

I do not envy your position as it is one of the hardest that there is.

But i really do wish you all the best and am here if ever you need it, REALLY HERE!

Do not hesitate to reach out.

I hope that this helps.

[_Patt_]

Hello Hope, love your name ;)

Well I'm not sure what to say dear, but I hope I'll help somehow.

First, I understrand you have been through difficults situations, but if you want to be loved, you have to love yourself. Do and give to yourself what you want the others to do or give to you. Somehow things around you will start to change, because you are changing too. You have to be your number one, treat you like that in every detail you can. Take a day just to dedicate to yourself, to meditate, to do something you really like.

Taking care of yourself is the first step for you to start dealing with your wounds.

Fake friends are the most common thing, I, myself just have one or two true friends... disappointments with friendships became natural to me and believe me, I feel relief to find out that things, I don't want fake ppl around me, so thank God and bye bye to them lol. So you don't need that kind of ppl too, I'm sure you are indeed an intelligent a beautiful woman who deserves to be loved by friends and everyone and you will be.

I'm sending to you lots of light and love and courage, just you can change what happens in your life, don't believe in bad luck dear, we are the ones that make our luck.


Stay with angels


Patt =)

[hope999]

patt - thank u so much for your advice. it has really helped as it has put the nail on the head. recently ive reched my lowest ebb as before i had hope that things would get better and still tried to beleive in myself- see myself in a differnt ligth to how my "friends" and work people had treated me and men-i.e uglu worthless etc.I beleived in mylsef, saw myself as wrothy in ever respect.
recetnly in the past two weeks, i had/have given up on that. Was just wonderign WHAT NEXT would go worng, and feeling adn seeing myeslf as worthless- exactly what teh above people see of me.

after reading your post, it has insitlled some positivity in me. I feel more like i can be bothered to at least try to restore myeslf. recently i have been putting images in my head that makeme happy i.e me with future children, a happy relationship. bleak as things are./have been , im gladthere is eomthing in me that still has the power to do this.

i can only hope or at least try! thank you for your msg as i was edging away from this, but you msg has helped push me right back in the correct direction.

thank you all SO much, im SO glad i posted in this forum. you are all so kind.such loving and giving people.
xxx

[_Patt_]

I'm really happy to know I could help you!  :smt041 Never give up and anything, we are here for you (if you want you can pm me anytime too). You will make it hehe.


Big hug and light to you


Patt

[Psychic Chef]

Hi Hope999
That wasnt a post .. that was a book..
Time to stop.
Well where do i start on that one .. Im firstly sorry that once again as the case in this hug forum another male fails to cut the mustard. Us men are pretators by nature and im sad to say that when i was younger i was the same .
Any man that see you once a week, doesnt phone, and has a redneck parent hood isnt going to get any better soon.
Stop dating straight away. its time to break old habits. Your luck really is going to get better and your mother is not going to be a problem with in the end of next 5 years, Karma is almost ready to extract its price.
Please try to stay out of what is going to happen as there will be friendly fire and a considerable amount of colateral damage.
I dont mean to put your mother down but the is one nasty piece of work.. She could stop the sun shining by just looking at it.
Some one close is going to jail  its a surprise to most but your not surprised.
Yes you are stunning to look at and that does make you a target. Dont change that part of the picture it takes all the fun out of remoteing you.  :) Just kiddn .
Jobs.. there is still a lull in the job front. but its going to improve towards the end of 2008 beginning of the new year.
There is a tall fair haired man coming he is a average looker, but has eyes that light up your soul.
he does a strange job or a strange hobby i cant tell which but i hear you laughing when he trys to tell you about it.
You meet him through a gathering of some sort. i think its one of you other friends family dos.
Theres a car involved ( no idea what).
Whos the young girl that wears old dresses i think shes passed over. long wavey hair maybe light brown or aulburn. 12/ 16 years old. had a strange or silly nick name.
Aunty perhaps.
Any way thats all im getting.
Now how about i give you the hug that any decent guy would and all the love and light that will help you.
Cheers Pete

[taraprincess]

sweetie here is a huge hug and happy bday to u and many more....much love and huggies

[hope999]

Pete and tara princess -thank you so much for your posts. Thank you ALL so much as i feel so much better and see light and hope. I was starting to lose it in the past few weeks- the lowest ive EVER been in my life.You guys have all helped me get back on track, and altho everything is still up in the air, you have all given me a renewed sense of positivity and belief.And i feel it will last. It has at least given me hope , and i feel it will continue.
thank you SO SO much.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[jlo]

Hi Hope

Sending you a huge hug and best of luck in your life . I'm sure things will improve .

Jlo

[hope999]

Thank you jlo- you are all SO lovely. peace and love to you and everyone that has well wished me and anyone feeling down or flailing.
peace and love to you all.xxx

[taraprincess]

u are so very welcome sweetie we are always here for u whenever u need us..im glad u are feeling better....im sending u some positive energy...stay strong...gd luck...much love and huggies

[Psychicgaijin]

Hi Hope!!

Hey we love and value you!!!

Now, this sounds a lot like my life in the early years. In fact, up until two and a half years ago poop was still going on.

Three things helped change it all;

1) The law of attration
2) EFT
3) Psychic energy toos.

The law of attraction as told in The Secret dvd and the book really helped me to understand why things happened even to nice wonderful people such as ME  :smt007

EFT is Emotional Freedom Technicque at www.emofree.com and there are free how to do it videos on YouTube and Google video.  It helps kick out the negative energies and thoughts and it helps to heal, my dear Hope.

Then psychic energy tools to protect myself and to understand why peopel behave as they do. A formal psychic school will have basic classes to learn the beginning stuff.

You can change it all. Start with the dvd The Secret and get he book too as there is more info in the book not mentioned or elaborated on in the dvd.

You can do it and make your life a success story!!!!!!!!!

Hugs kisses and maybe even a naughty tickle...

Jim

P.S. If you are in California I can recommend some places.