Sometimes I wish I wasn't
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- Lady Shalymar
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- Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2008 1:01 am
- Location: Durham. NC
Sometimes I wish I wasn't
About a month ago my fiance and I found out that I was pregnant. We were very excited as we had been trying for a few months. Two weeks later I woke up early in the morning and then went back to sleep before waking up again later. That is usually when I have my "visions".
In my dream I woke up and looked over to the corner of the room. Near the ceiling was a large black mass, it moved quickly over to me and came to rest on top of me. I felt paralyzed, like I had been shocked or something. When I actually woke up I just knew it was bad.
That night I had a miscarriage for no rhyme or reason. I discussed what I saw with my fiance, who is much more knowledgeable than I, and we agree that what I saw was probably the Destroyer.
Sometimes I wish I didn't see things. But at the same time I know it's a gift and I have it for a reason.
Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest.
In my dream I woke up and looked over to the corner of the room. Near the ceiling was a large black mass, it moved quickly over to me and came to rest on top of me. I felt paralyzed, like I had been shocked or something. When I actually woke up I just knew it was bad.
That night I had a miscarriage for no rhyme or reason. I discussed what I saw with my fiance, who is much more knowledgeable than I, and we agree that what I saw was probably the Destroyer.
Sometimes I wish I didn't see things. But at the same time I know it's a gift and I have it for a reason.
Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest.
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Dear Lady Shalymar,
A miscarriage is one of the most devastating things that a woman (and the man who loves her and wants the baby too) can experience--having one is even worse than anyone who hasn't had one can ever imagine (as you know). I'm SO sorry that you had to go through that, and that you also had the pain of seeing that it was coming.
I'll just tell you my little "miscarriage miracle" story, in the hope that it will give YOU hope. My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for FIVE YEARS. Finally, my mother gave me $750 to go to a fertility doctor for fertility drugs.
The doctor instructed me to do a pregnancy test before I started taking the drugs. "Yeah, right--like I'm suddenly going to be pregnant after 5 years," I thought. Guess what... There was that little "+" sign. I couldn't believe it. We were overjoyed, and the drugs stayed in the fridge.
A few weeks later, I miscarried. I was utterly despondent and inconsolable. I was sure that it had been my last chance, and that I'd never get pregnant again.
The following month, I started feeling queasy. I told my husband and my doctor that I felt pregnant. Of course, their response was, "Yes, dear--you've been through a hard time. You just get some rest and don't worry about pregnancy."
Guess what... ("+") It was an absolute MIRACLE--I was terrified of miscarrying again, but I didn't. And I now have the most amazing, sweet, wonderful little 9-year-old boy now (best of all, I'm pretty sure he was conceived on Christmas Eve!). I don't know who my lost baby would have been, but I can only think that things happen the way they do for a reason, even if at the time it seems like the cruelest joke in the world.
So, with that, be hopeful, mourn your loss, take care of yourself and your fiance...when the time is right, it will happen.
Doe
A miscarriage is one of the most devastating things that a woman (and the man who loves her and wants the baby too) can experience--having one is even worse than anyone who hasn't had one can ever imagine (as you know). I'm SO sorry that you had to go through that, and that you also had the pain of seeing that it was coming.
I'll just tell you my little "miscarriage miracle" story, in the hope that it will give YOU hope. My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for FIVE YEARS. Finally, my mother gave me $750 to go to a fertility doctor for fertility drugs.
The doctor instructed me to do a pregnancy test before I started taking the drugs. "Yeah, right--like I'm suddenly going to be pregnant after 5 years," I thought. Guess what... There was that little "+" sign. I couldn't believe it. We were overjoyed, and the drugs stayed in the fridge.
A few weeks later, I miscarried. I was utterly despondent and inconsolable. I was sure that it had been my last chance, and that I'd never get pregnant again.
The following month, I started feeling queasy. I told my husband and my doctor that I felt pregnant. Of course, their response was, "Yes, dear--you've been through a hard time. You just get some rest and don't worry about pregnancy."
Guess what... ("+") It was an absolute MIRACLE--I was terrified of miscarrying again, but I didn't. And I now have the most amazing, sweet, wonderful little 9-year-old boy now (best of all, I'm pretty sure he was conceived on Christmas Eve!). I don't know who my lost baby would have been, but I can only think that things happen the way they do for a reason, even if at the time it seems like the cruelest joke in the world.
So, with that, be hopeful, mourn your loss, take care of yourself and your fiance...when the time is right, it will happen.
Doe
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