it still hurts every day

tattooedgrahamcracker · Post by **tattooedgrahamcracker** » Fri May 23, 2008 2:20 am

how do you start to heal and learn to live again after loosing your mother at the hands of another person? I have asked myself this every day for the past 7 months

tourbi · Post by **tourbi** » Fri May 23, 2008 3:38 am

Your mom would want you to live your life fully and with love and joy.  Mom's do.

So.......... you forgive, not to save them, to let anyone off the hook, but so you can live and love and open your heart again.  Even from anger you can start and release them as you forgive.
Then you love your mom and remember her and all the wonderful times and remember her supporting your dreams for yourself, that was her highest dream. So......... you do it.
You live fully, to honor yourself and her.

I feel for you deeply.  It would be hard for me too.
You life counts.  She had you.  The amount you are mourning shows what a great mom you have.  I believe she is still alive, she has moved to another place, our of the body you knew.
She is alive and healed and wants the best for you.  The very best.  
She wants you to be happy and live your life in happiness and joy.
She sees you and hears you and feels your love.

I know this because I have had a continuing relationship with my grandparents since the died.
Take good care of yourself.

Love of hugs!!!

tattooedgrahamcracker · Post by **tattooedgrahamcracker** » Fri May 23, 2008 3:47 am

thank you for your kind words, but it is hard to forgive when you know who did it and nothing can be done, they are free to hurt others

tourbi · Post by **tourbi** » Fri May 23, 2008 4:22 am

I know.  It's up to you.  But you aren't hurting them by not forgiving.   I know how very hard it is.  
It is worth a try.  As I said, forgiveness is FOR YOU!!! not about letting them off the hook, or even forgetting.
It's releasing them to what will come back to them and releasing you to live your life.
Take care.  Will discuss it if you want.  Otherwise, I wish you the very best and am sending you energy.

soul_flower · Post by **soul_flower** » Fri May 23, 2008 4:44 am

Im really sorry to hear what happened and what you're going thru....Im sending loads of *huggles* healing energy and my love to you.

Tamara :o)

starsign20002000 · Post by **starsign20002000** » Fri May 23, 2008 4:47 am

Very sorry to hear about your Mum.  My deepest sympathy goes to you and your family.  Hugs to you also.

dhav · Post by **dhav** » Fri May 23, 2008 11:12 am

It should be very painful to hurt soemone's mom and to heal teh pain is harder.Time will heal and you will only retain wonderful memories of her.She is much near you in spirit.A mother never lets her child alone when the child needs her.Cherish the memories and give yourself much love.Spend much times with people who loves you and pamper yourself.Don't remain alone.Talk to someone about your feelings.Don't suppress it.We are here to listen to you and comfort.be sure your mom is giving youa hug everyday and evrytime you remeber her.

hugs and love from me,

dhav;-)

void · Post by **void** » Fri May 23, 2008 7:54 pm

big big hug for you

Im clueless when it comes to gods will ?

a good book "5 people you meet in heaven " might help with perspective.

to pray for the person who is at cause ,will only help you.

just think if you had been at cause.
I dont know if i could handle that

your gonna be fine! just hurts right now

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Tue May 27, 2008 5:29 pm

sweetie here is a huge hug...i know its hard...im sorry for what u are going thru...she is your guardian angel...she is watching over you...stay strong...much love and huggies

FireRose · Post by **FireRose** » Thu May 29, 2008 12:03 pm

You need to look deep inside and ask yourself what will give you peace. Often people think that if they rid the world of the "bad guy" that all the pain will go away... not true. You may feel a slight high for a bit (because revenge is -temporarily- sweet ) but you'll still be angry and bitter and miss your mom. Also, you'll most likely have a dirty conscience, even if you think your motives were pure.

There are many bad people in the world that are free to hurt others. I have had the same inner conflict (as have many people) wanting to get rid of as many as possible. But you can't destroy your own life/soul for the sake of preventing potential harm to others. If you should ever see someone in the act of harming someone, then react as you see fit.

What kind of person was she? How would she handle this situation if she were in your place? The best thing you can do is honor her memory by being like her.

Best to you and yours, many hugs.

anitac · Post by **anitac** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 3:34 pm

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I can sympathise fully as I have lost 2 adult children at the hands of someone else. The pain is always there and revenge always sounds sweet, but you also need to ask yourself if that is the course of action your mom would want you to take. I myself wanted revenge at the time but then I realized they had to live with what they had done. Take care and know my thoughts are with you.

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it still hurts every day

it still hurts every day

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