Keep getting more and more depressed

[mialane214]

I struggle with depression, anxiety and PTSD and things were better than ever for a while but right before thanksgiving, i found out that my boyfriend of two years was really suffering from depression and his financial situation had gotten so bad that he was bouncing from friends house to friends house.  He was working almost everyday and couldn't seem to get ahead so now he's living with his aunt and starting therapy.  I love him so much and worry about him.  I want him to let be there with him thru his struggle.  He said he needed time to just work on him and i haven't heard from him since.  I'm confused and desperate to talk to him.  It brought up a lot of past pain and since then, i'm always tired and not making it to school.  I've tried everything I can think of to get myself out of this rut, nothings worked so far but I refuse to give up.  If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them.  And if you could, keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  Thanks everybody

[coffee.cake23]

Hi Mia,

Sorry to hear about your situation honey... I can imagine it can't be easy!!

I'm 24 and in a bit of a situation where my boyfriend (or shall I say 'ex') also needs space. He suffers with anxiety, depression and panic attacks so I've seen how difficult situations can get. On the first hand, I feel completely frustrated and helpless and 'in a rut' as to what to do, but what I've worked out for myself in the long run is that if a guy needs space, you have to give it to him. I know my situation is probably completely different to yours, but with my 'guy', if he needs space, I have to give it to him otherwise he runs a mile!!! When his head is in the current state that it is, I know I can't put too much pressure on him; it only seems to make things worse. It's soooo frustrating and the separation between us at the moment has been the longest it's ever been, but I do feel that once he's sorted his head out, he'll come back around. I know it's hard and it's so painful when you really love somebody, but perhaps try what I'm doing which is do your own thing for a while. We're both so young Why don't you concentrate on yourself a bit more, go out with friends, etc and when he's ready, I'm sure he'll come back to you. If he loves you, he will want to talk to you eventually, be it take a day, a week or two months and whether or not it's for the relationship to keep going or end (if that makes sense? I'm hopeless at typing really ) It may be that all he needs is time to sort out his head and maybe the reason he hasn't contacted you yet is because he cannot deal with the intensity of a relationship, as well as the problems he is having to face at the moment.

I know my advice might not be the best, but it could be something to consider. And how about we keep each other posted with what's going on? It's nice to know that there are people out there in very similar situations and I'd like to hear what happens

Take care and I wish you all the luck in the world!

Steph

[mialane214]

We should definately keep each other posted.  I tell other people about what's going on when they ask about him and no one understands it and acts like they've never heard of this happening before.  That just makes me so much more frustrated.  Your advice was really helpful but it was even more helpful knowing that someone else is in kinda the same position as me.  Thanks for reaching out and I'm sorry your going through the same thing, it sucks.  Keep me updated.  I look forward to hearing from you:)

[coffee.cake23]

No worries at all If you ever need to talk, just send me a message - we can help each other through it

So what is your plan of action now? Sounds silly, but I've been going out alot more, meeting new people, relying on my girly friends for support and having some 'me' time to get things into perspective. It's helped ALOT! You have to keep yourself busy.

I also understand completely about other people. I have family members and friends that do not seem to get the situation... it's difficult and it's one where there has to be alot of thought and time put into it. I know my guy isn't a bad person, but he has a lot of issues he needs to deal with (all to do with his upbringing) and there's also a lot going on in his career, which doesn't help! Just have a bit of faith and go with your gut. Trust your instincts - they're usually right, even if your instincts are telling you something you don't want to believe

Take care and speak soon!

xxx

[forcemaster245]

I struggle with depression, anxiety and PTSD and things were better than ever for a while but right before thanksgiving, i found out that my boyfriend of two years was really suffering from depression and his financial situation had gotten so bad that he was bouncing from friends house to friends house.  He was working almost everyday and couldn't seem to get ahead so now he's living with his aunt and starting therapy.  I love him so much and worry about him.  I want him to let be there with him thru his struggle.  He said he needed time to just work on him and i haven't heard from him since.  I'm confused and desperate to talk to him.  It brought up a lot of past pain and since then, i'm always tired and not making it to school.  I've tried everything I can think of to get myself out of this rut, nothings worked so far but I refuse to give up.  If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them.  And if you could, keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  Thanks everybody

I think you need to help yourself get out of your depression first. When your bf sees that you're up and going, i believe that he'll start to pick himself up. hope this helps.

[mialane214]

Still haven't heard from him, but today is like a brand new day, i've snapped out of it.  Last night I let myself cry about it.  Since this happened, I was smiling and struggling to act how I usually do even though my body started to take a toll from it.  I think that if I didn't acknowledge it, it would go away but instead i crashed physically and emotionally.  Just the crying alone worked wonders and then today I am taking your advice and staying busy.  I've reached out to my best girlfriends and felt so much better and am running errands. My gut instinct has always been that I will hear from him within the first wk of the new year and some of the psychics I've talked to validated that and others got my hopes up by saying that it would be much sooner and when their predictions failed, I got a little disappointed.  My new plan of action is to just follow my instincts and not let myself take on his pain or emotions (I tend to do that).  I have things I would like to do to better myself so I'll focus on that.  I don't want to leave him, I truly think he is worth the wait.  If it was anyone else, I would've said goodbye along long time ago.  Letting this out and talking about it has helped a lot and I am really grateful I ran into you.  How are things going for you guys?  Let me know.  Have a wonderful holiday or new year and I hope to hear from you soon

[coloratura]

Hey, I feel your pain and know what it's like to feel so tired of fighting and not wanting to continue on.
Know that your angels are near and around you, protecting and healing you with each new sunrise that you behold. Huge hugs and keep your head up!
Coloratura

[forcemaster245]

Still haven't heard from him, but today is like a brand new day, i've snapped out of it.  Last night I let myself cry about it.  Since this happened, I was smiling and struggling to act how I usually do even though my body started to take a toll from it.  I think that if I didn't acknowledge it, it would go away but instead i crashed physically and emotionally.  Just the crying alone worked wonders and then today I am taking your advice and staying busy.  I've reached out to my best girlfriends and felt so much better and am running errands. My gut instinct has always been that I will hear from him within the first wk of the new year and some of the psychics I've talked to validated that and others got my hopes up by saying that it would be much sooner and when their predictions failed, I got a little disappointed.  My new plan of action is to just follow my instincts and not let myself take on his pain or emotions (I tend to do that).  I have things I would like to do to better myself so I'll focus on that.  I don't want to leave him, I truly think he is worth the wait.  If it was anyone else, I would've said goodbye along long time ago.  Letting this out and talking about it has helped a lot and I am really grateful I ran into you.  How are things going for you guys?  Let me know.  Have a wonderful holiday or new year and I hope to hear from you soon

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you. Things are going well for me, and thanks for the concern. Stay strong always.

[coffee.cake23]

Hi there,

I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling alot better I know it's hard, but sometimes you do really need to cry to let all the emotions out of your system - although it takes a while! Keep me posted on what you're doing with yourself - it's good to hear!

As for me, I'm not doing too bad at all. I'm with my family and friends for 2 weeks over xmas and they are so supportive, so they're really lifting my spirits. My guy did try calling and in the end had to text on my mum's phone to wish me a happy christmas which was nice, but the shocking thing is that I didn't want to speak to him at the time - I'm not quite ready yet and for once, it shocked me that I put myself and my feelings first!! Don't get me wrong, I love him to pieces, unconditionally in fact, which is strange - definitely a love I haven't felt before, but what with the right guidance, I'm beginning to accept the fact that I need to be able to stand on my own two feet and concentrate on what I want, before I can even concentrate on a full blown relationship. Not saying that I don't want it, because I do, but I need to get my head right first Thanks for asking - it's really nice! It's good to be able to get these things off my chest! Hope to hear from you soon!

Wishing you a great xmas and new year!

Steph xxx

[taraprincess]

sweetie here is a huge hug...much love and huggies