More relationship issues...ugh :(

ammo · Post by **ammo** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 11:48 pm

My boyfriend and I decided to give it another go. It almost feels as though I am forcing myself to be with him because that is what I am used to, I've been with him a huge chunk of my life. I know that eventually this is going to end because I eventually want a family and want to get married which he doesn't want at all. It's almost like he's stuck in a 13 year old mentality (he's 24), it's unbeleivable to me. All he cares about is partying, hanging out and playing video games  :smt012 . In his own way, he has tried to make things better between us but it isn't enough. I just want to be away from him but when I am it drives me nuts, like I need him or something. It stresses me out so much to know that I have a severe emotional dependence on him when all I want really is to find someone who is on my level, someone to relate to.

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 12:05 am

" It's almost like he's stuck in a 13 year old mentality "....

" I need him or something. It stresses me out so much to know that I have a severe emotional dependence on him when all I want really is to find someone who is on my level, someone to relate to."  

Sometimes we find and are with the exact, right partner......

How about being your own partner?  Finding and relating to yourself, developing and growing, so you know you, what you deserve, know the difference between being lonely vs.  being alone (being alone doesn't involve an emotional co-dependency with another)...living from a strong, empowered center, loving yourself enough to allow and manifest an abundant life with the right and perfect partner?

rainbow_cummer · Post by **rainbow_cummer** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 12:25 am

Well I may be a bit young but here is my point of view:

I have a friend who's was with her ex for quite a while, but when he left she realized what a dick he was ( pardon my language). They have been broken up for awhile now, yet she still wants him back and thinks about him a lot. He was her first for everything so she is emotionally attached.

We've told her quite a few times that she can find better. I think the same about this situation.

Or, another suggestion, put him on probation and tell him until he starts acting his age hell continue to be on probation.

I hope that helps somewhat.

P.s life is to short to be tied down.

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 12:31 am

"put him on probation and tell him until he starts acting his age hell continue to be on probation"

What's with the control? Does anyone here, like to be controlled? I don't think so...We can't control anyone but ourselves. We can't put another on 'probation'. That just prolongs the painful journey. We can't dictate how they behave, if we do not want that done to us.  They have a right to be who they are, just as you have a right to be who you are........Choose (discern) for yourself to stay and accept the person as he/she is, or leave, KNOWING you deserve more from this journey. Everyone has to be allowed to be who they are, not dictated who we want them to be.

ammo · Post by **ammo** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 2:17 am

Exactly, I love him for who he is, just as he is now but am rapidly outgrowing him as far as priorities and mind set. It's like there is something crucial that he has to learn before I can put myself at ease with him. I know deep inside that the only way for me to cope is eventually leaving but it just seems too hard right now. I would never want to force him to change himself it would be so ingenuine to me and not worth it. And Kgirlsmomma I have been working on that kind of self-love that you spoke about and nothing in my life has made me happier than to discover the peace that comes from it. That is the one good thing that came from my breakup last year was that I learned how to love,accept and forgive myself and learned that it is ok for me to be the perpetually happy-go-lucky person I am even when circumstances dictate that I should feel differently.

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 3:24 am

This is called 'working it out'. That doesn't mean you stay broken up forever, and it doesn't mean you get back together. It means, you take your space, and learn what is best for you, without harming yourself FIRST, and then without harming the other person. Take your space, take your time, and allow it to be. No drama, no games, no manipulation or control....See what happens. Good luck.

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 2:51 pm

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies

azurestar · Post by **azurestar** » Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:09 pm

If you're feeling this divide, then maybe you should talk to him about it. Ask him how he feels, and maybe you two should take a break. Sometimes people just need to realize that there are issues, and perhaps he doesn't. If you two care sincerely about each other, then I'm sure you two can work it out. Hugs for you. <3

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More relationship issues...ugh :(

More relationship issues...ugh :(

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