Hi all,
You have all been so kind to me in the past - i was wondering if anyone would be so kind as to show me kindness once again.I am having rough time at work - being bullied and not having anyone support me or some people believe me. I have tried SO hard to be positive over the 8 months it has taken place, and it just gets harder.I have been betrayed by someonelse that was a victim in the situation.
My "friends" have no time to listen to my problems or spend time with me and most just use me.Anyway, am trying to be really positive.was so greatful as phoned the samaritans today who really helped. Just hearing supportive words helped so much.
I feel very lonely and am despairing at the moment.
Despair....
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landofshadows
- Posts: 139
- Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:42 pm
- Contact:
hope999,
I have given you some advice previously in your other post, I suppose it didn't work.
There are some people in this world that are just plain horrid and not worth your time or effort, I would say just go to work do your job and come home, if you make friends it is a bonus... I have often found people when they find out there is something that doesn't feature in hello magazine about you they can be very odd towards you and treat you like an outcast... Well... Those people are very shallow.
I would say one thing however, perhaps in their defence... You come across as being a victim, for example your name upon here "Hope"... If your label your self as such then some times you get treated as such... Most of your posts are asking for help to the point I can almost feel your pain and how low you must be feeling about the events and your own self worth, and in one regard I feel for you deeply and in the other I wish I could place you in front of a mirror and make you see your self as important, unique and just as good as anyone else upon this planet... You have a right to be here, just as much as your boss, and any one else at work, even the Queen of England... We are all human and all equal... If nobody at work is going to stick up for you, you need to learn to stick up for your self, I don't mean play them at their own game, or lower your self to their level.
Show them how stupid they are being, when they make a horrid comment just reply to them "And why did I desevre that ?" if they answer with something else that is hurtful reply with something "Do you have any idea how you make me feel ?" stay relaxed, don't get upset (I know it will be hard)... (After you reply to them don't wait for an answer just keep working, you don't even have to look at them, just let them think about what they just said, looking at them and waiting for an answer will cause an air of silence and make you feel worse) Just ask them questions, question why they are doing it... You may find the root of their comments... Or it will make them question why they do it (My guess is, to make them feel better about something, I doubt it is you at all, your just the office victim) Sometimes people do this to try and bring you out of your shell, office banter... Sometimes it could be they see you as hard working and fear your a threat to their job... or it could be they are Arseholes...
Either way they need to know you don't like it, but you need to show that rather than being upset, you want to understand what it is they don't like, once you know it is up to you if you want to change or stick it to them that that is you and if they don't like that then it is their problem and not yours !!
I am sorry if some of what I have placed has upset you... I have tried to read into your posts (All of them) to understand your position, I may have it wrong, take from the above what you wish.
LoS
I have given you some advice previously in your other post, I suppose it didn't work.
There are some people in this world that are just plain horrid and not worth your time or effort, I would say just go to work do your job and come home, if you make friends it is a bonus... I have often found people when they find out there is something that doesn't feature in hello magazine about you they can be very odd towards you and treat you like an outcast... Well... Those people are very shallow.
I would say one thing however, perhaps in their defence... You come across as being a victim, for example your name upon here "Hope"... If your label your self as such then some times you get treated as such... Most of your posts are asking for help to the point I can almost feel your pain and how low you must be feeling about the events and your own self worth, and in one regard I feel for you deeply and in the other I wish I could place you in front of a mirror and make you see your self as important, unique and just as good as anyone else upon this planet... You have a right to be here, just as much as your boss, and any one else at work, even the Queen of England... We are all human and all equal... If nobody at work is going to stick up for you, you need to learn to stick up for your self, I don't mean play them at their own game, or lower your self to their level.
Show them how stupid they are being, when they make a horrid comment just reply to them "And why did I desevre that ?" if they answer with something else that is hurtful reply with something "Do you have any idea how you make me feel ?" stay relaxed, don't get upset (I know it will be hard)... (After you reply to them don't wait for an answer just keep working, you don't even have to look at them, just let them think about what they just said, looking at them and waiting for an answer will cause an air of silence and make you feel worse) Just ask them questions, question why they are doing it... You may find the root of their comments... Or it will make them question why they do it (My guess is, to make them feel better about something, I doubt it is you at all, your just the office victim) Sometimes people do this to try and bring you out of your shell, office banter... Sometimes it could be they see you as hard working and fear your a threat to their job... or it could be they are Arseholes...
Either way they need to know you don't like it, but you need to show that rather than being upset, you want to understand what it is they don't like, once you know it is up to you if you want to change or stick it to them that that is you and if they don't like that then it is their problem and not yours !!
I am sorry if some of what I have placed has upset you... I have tried to read into your posts (All of them) to understand your position, I may have it wrong, take from the above what you wish.
LoS
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kgirlsmomma
- Posts: 407
- Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:04 pm
Be your own best friend. Love yourself for who you are, and who you are creating yourself to be. Don't allow yourself to get 'stuck' in your creation process.
The thing to remember in this lifetime of learning and lessons, is that we have created (and yes, we create these things) every instance in our life, to learn. We should learn how awesome, and fabulous and wonderful and full of love we are. We should learn, how we like to treat people, and how we don't like to treat them by how we are treated. People are our teachers..they merely hold up a mirror to reflect back to us that which we should learn. The first lessons is no one, can make you feel anything, but you. So when they hold up the mirror to reflect back to you that you are feeling weak and betrayed, say to yourself "I am strong, confident & capable" or any positive mantra that comes into your head. Our thoughts, words & actions create our reality. If we think, act and believe we are a victim, then we are. If we fear we are a victim, then that is what we attract into our world. If we think, act and believe we are strong, confident & capable, then guess what happens?
Learn your lessons, thank your 'teachers', and move confidently forward in your life creating a wonderful existence in the now, in each and every instance, being present, joyful and thankful, even for the pain.
May you move forward and know only love and joy.
The thing to remember in this lifetime of learning and lessons, is that we have created (and yes, we create these things) every instance in our life, to learn. We should learn how awesome, and fabulous and wonderful and full of love we are. We should learn, how we like to treat people, and how we don't like to treat them by how we are treated. People are our teachers..they merely hold up a mirror to reflect back to us that which we should learn. The first lessons is no one, can make you feel anything, but you. So when they hold up the mirror to reflect back to you that you are feeling weak and betrayed, say to yourself "I am strong, confident & capable" or any positive mantra that comes into your head. Our thoughts, words & actions create our reality. If we think, act and believe we are a victim, then we are. If we fear we are a victim, then that is what we attract into our world. If we think, act and believe we are strong, confident & capable, then guess what happens?
Learn your lessons, thank your 'teachers', and move confidently forward in your life creating a wonderful existence in the now, in each and every instance, being present, joyful and thankful, even for the pain.
May you move forward and know only love and joy.
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taraprincess
- Posts: 1249
- Joined: Mon Feb 26, 2007 3:57 pm
THANKS!
thank you all for your responses. I followed your advice- decided being a victim was a choice and realised this on a CONSCIOUS level.And guess what- in a matter of hours things turned around. The bully (who i now prefer to refer as the 'coward') was caught out bullying me. I went in to work feeling positive prior to that happening and everyhting felt better, lighter. less like chore and everyone reacted positively to me.
I made small decisions to help make everyones day better and slightly happier and something lifted and in turn lifted me. I face a showdown next week, but thank you SO much for your harsh truths. you have helped me see the light and turn my life around in a matter of hours, as simple as changing my mindset which has helped untrap me.
THANK YOU SO MUCH
I made small decisions to help make everyones day better and slightly happier and something lifted and in turn lifted me. I face a showdown next week, but thank you SO much for your harsh truths. you have helped me see the light and turn my life around in a matter of hours, as simple as changing my mindset which has helped untrap me.
THANK YOU SO MUCH
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kgirlsmomma
- Posts: 407
- Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:04 pm
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landofshadows
- Posts: 139
- Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:42 pm
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