A Cheater?

Marquitta · Post by **Marquitta** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 4:32 pm

Hello everybody I just feel like I need a huuuuge hug right now because the man I am with seems to be cheating on me. I don't have proof, but I just.... *know*. You know how that is.

He has stopped being as communicative with me, seems to always be thinking of something (or someone?) else.... won't be very affectionate with me or physical with me at all anymore. I always ask him what's wrong and he says, "Nothing. I'm just tired." He did complain of being tired a lot even when I didn't ask what's wrong, but still.

I've been asking him to tell his ex to stop her contact with him, she keeps trying to talk to him....but he fought me so much on this and I ended up backing down. Why would he be so intent on NOT telling her to leave him alone? ...Unless he was wanting to keep that door open for something.

Well he had already lied about having been out with her, using the lame excuse that it was because his sister had invited her without him knowing.  (His sister and ex are friends.) I conveniently couldn't get ahold of him that night until his "family" had taken him home. Same thing the next night. It was a simple thing to call me, but he didn't do it. Sketchy....

And she left him a cryptic message on a social networking site we both share... and that's when I had asked him to stop talking to her and we had that argument. Well today, after he had alrady fought me so much about not talking to her, I see that he had left her a comment about her picture in Feb. (we were still together) saying "I love this picture...."

It's like who does that? Who has that weird kind of contact with their ex if nothing is going on?? I hate to get caught up in website drama..... but it looks fishy. What do I do.... what do I even begin to say to him...... he is apparently intent on keeping SOMEthing from me.....

I need a huge hug. And thank you all soo so much for listening. You're all so sweet and I love this board a lot.

Mystic Cadet · Post by **Mystic Cadet** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 4:49 pm

Sending you a Positive and healing energy hug

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:34 pm

Here is a hug, that you find your strength, to do what is best for you.

Marquitta · Post by **Marquitta** » Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:00 am

Thank you both so much! :D

Anime89 · Post by **Anime89** » Sun Apr 26, 2009 10:32 pm

=/ Just dump him. Why waste time in such a fickle and time wasting relationship? And social networking sites are stupid.

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Mon Apr 27, 2009 4:58 pm

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies

MyLife · Post by **MyLife** » Tue May 19, 2009 6:52 am

Lots of big warm huggs honey, as weird as this may sound. Walk away, you already see whats going on, as much as you want answers and explanations it might be a bit easier on your heart if you just leave him alone. He should not be giving you reasons to not feel secure in his love for you. Frankly you're too young to be experiencing such heart ache. Speaking from experience, it might just be easier to count your losses and move on. HTH

Psychic Chef · Post by **Psychic Chef** » Fri May 22, 2009 12:06 pm

Time to walk away and have sme time to collect your thoughts.
If it doesnt feel right then its most likely correct ,
Hugs and love to you. theres always someone to relpace him
Cheers Pete

hope999 · Post by **hope999** » Mon May 25, 2009 11:16 am

From past experience - if it seems like there is something no quite right- trust your intuition. The penance to pay for not doing so is very high in the long term. I would set an ultimatum - either he talks about what the problem is or you leave it (as you are not happy with the way things are) and if he is fine with that - then he chose for you to leave - it was his choice. If he doesnt want you to leave, he will talk about the problem and you resolve it together to make for a decent relationship worth being in (remember, relationship should be fun, not ardous) or he admits he wants to be with someone else and it ends that way.
sorry if this sounds very very blunt - it is just i have been through such things before and have always been glad in the long rn of being totally objective in my behaviour. it is hard when you are in teh sitaution and clouded with emoitons etc- but you must must admit- you would prob give the same advice to a friend objectively - yes.
good luck
x

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Mon May 25, 2009 11:38 am

"I would set an ultimatum - either he talks about what the problem is or you leave it (as you are not happy with the way things are)"

There's no need to give someone an ultimatum. That is one's own need to try and control another's behavior. If you are not happy with the way things are, then choose to leave for yourself. The results will be the same for him..either he'll talk and work to improve things or not. The bigger reward and difference is that you acted and behaved from your own personal power space and knowing what is best for you, like a strong, confident & capable person.

seaneen · Post by **seaneen** » Mon May 25, 2009 3:27 pm

Big hugs sent
bless you

DevilshAngel · Post by **DevilshAngel** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 4:36 am

*Hug* You'll find someone better for you

Angeleyes2104 · Post by **Angeleyes2104** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 10:40 pm

Here is a huge *HUG* from me to you. as someone who has been where you are! Much love and wishes for a great future.  :)

sabbath siren · Post by **sabbath siren** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:59 am

It's very unusual for me not to carp on for half a page but, for all the sound advice and love on the previous pages, I feel that people aren't telling you anything you don't already know yourself.
So I'll simply remind you that you are strong and beautiful.
Love to you
Peta

sabbath siren · Post by **sabbath siren** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:02 am

It's very unusual for me not to carp on for half a page but, for all the sound advice and love on the previous pages, I feel that people aren't telling you anything you don't already know yourself.
So I'll simply remind you that you are strong and beautiful.
Love to you
Peta

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