A Hug

[Sheepdog]

Wife says, she needs a hug, So I give her one.
Complains that I have caught her thumb. (it was broken several weeks ago) never went any where near it.
Happens all the time. If not the thumb, I have hurt something else.
Her idea of cuddle is, she lies next to me.
If I put my arm around her, my arm is too heavy, OR, I am grooping, depends on where my hand ends up, while I am asleep.
If I say, i.e. an item in the fridge is out of date. I get screamed at.
All I am, is a taxi service, take her to work, pick her up again etc. i am expected to do all the cooking, EVEN, when she says she will cook, I have to do most of it. All I have is my cans of beer and bottle of scotch.
I started to do my models, after a long break, due to kids. I was taking up to much room on the table. I moved into the spare bedroom, building a special table, to work on. She filled the room with her stuff, so I could not get near my model. Put me off doing it. Used to play some games on the PC, after the PSU went up in smoke (literally) the PC would not run games. She complained about what I needed to spend to repair my PC. So No games. Not alowed near my model of the Cuty sark. Not able to play games. All I have on the evening is TV, Or, now, here
Cuddle
Wish I could remember what one is. Drink will kill me, nothing else, find out if there is another side.

[AnMa11]

Do you still love her? Does she still loves you?
You cannot let yourself being treated this way. You have the right to be respected. Learn to love yourself and respect yourself first. Think about yourself first.
If you still want to be with her, you must tell her everything she does is hurting you. Maybe she just doesn't realize. She must know. If she already knows, ask her why. Why is she acting like that.

Communication is very important.

Or, maybe you need to get away from her so you don't get hurt anymore. Think of yourself. I don't think you are happy in this. You must do something. try to talk first, if it doesn't work, you might think about getting away.

Don't hurt yourself anymore.

*Hug*


If you need to talk more, I am always here to listen.

[hippiechick71]

I agree with everything anma11 said.  You deserve respect, and happiness.  You most definitely seem very unhappy in your current situation and I want you to know that my heart goes out to you.  As anma said, talk to her, see if she knows whether or not she is hurting you.  You need to open up the lines of communication and see what happens.  That's just my outside opinion

Good luck and I hope things will lighten up in your life soon

[PetraVanilla]

Wife says, she needs a hug, So I give her one.
Complains that I have caught her thumb. (it was broken several weeks ago) never went any where near it.
Happens all the time. If not the thumb, I have hurt something else.
Her idea of cuddle is, she lies next to me.
If I put my arm around her, my arm is too heavy, OR, I am grooping, depends on where my hand ends up, while I am asleep.
If I say, i.e. an item in the fridge is out of date. I get screamed at.
All I am, is a taxi service, take her to work, pick her up again etc. i am expected to do all the cooking, EVEN, when she says she will cook, I have to do most of it. All I have is my cans of beer and bottle of scotch.
I started to do my models, after a long break, due to kids. I was taking up to much room on the table. I moved into the spare bedroom, building a special table, to work on. She filled the room with her stuff, so I could not get near my model. Put me off doing it. Used to play some games on the PC, after the PSU went up in smoke (literally) the PC would not run games. She complained about what I needed to spend to repair my PC. So No games. Not alowed near my model of the Cuty sark. Not able to play games. All I have on the evening is TV, Or, now, here
Cuddle
Wish I could remember what one is. Drink will kill me, nothing else, find out if there is another side.

Hi Sheepdog, here is a big virtual hug for you! I think Wifey is not happy with herself, so therefore finds fault in everything and everything else around her. I know cuz I've been there. My husband is now my Ex-husband...
If  you want to make this work, you will have to volunteer some love and praise and bite your tongue a bit on other things, I'd say. Tell her you appreciate her working so hard for your guys' income. Ask her how her day was and if she'd like to talk about her day... just listen, don't give advice, just talking will make her feel better. It's a woman thing.

Take care of the out-of-date stuff, either consume it or throw it. If she asks about it, tell her it had to go, so you took care of it, so she wouldn't have to worry about it. If you cook, cook her favorite meal when she doesn't expect it, light some candles. Romance doesn't have to be a hug for her... it can be other things that warm her heart.
You could also have her help you cook, too, "honey I am making the roast, could you help me a bit and get the gravy ready... I love the way you make it!" then surprise her from the side when she does it, and just give her a peck on the cheek (no other touch) and a big smile.

Does she have a room for her own stuff? If not, why don't you guys make it a weekend project to separate that spare bedroom onto 2 sections, one for you and one for her, cuz you both have a right to have space for your own stuff. Then watch a movie together and have some ice cream. Quality time!

Quit drinking out of emotional distress. It's a depressant if you're already down. Have a drink when you have reason to celebrate, instead. Have one with her if she likes.

If she worries about you spending $$ on the PC... ask her what she would like to spend the $$ on if she had enough... Make a point of saving up the money, then spend half on her fave thing, half on yours. Being married is being yourself, but together, next to each other.

Oh and I highly recommend the book "the five love languages". Read it! Do what it says!

I think you have a good chance to get her to turn around and have both of your guys' love tank filled again. (An expression from that book)

If it works out the way I am guessing, call it my intuition. Let me know how things go down the road.

I hope that helps, love, light and blessings to you both!

[swetha]

A huge hug for you Evaluate would be Rhuto's words Think about ways in which you could solve the issues. Life is too short to spend drinking

[henrietta100]

big hugs- i felt your pain. You need to communicate wiht your wife- tell her the above. Have you ever actually told her how you feel- never make presumptions that people know what you are thinking. All you can do is communicte and if she continues behaving that way - then that is through her knowing your viewpoint.
And if that is the case- i would ask you to consider starting over and giving her space to decide if she wants to start treating you right. You are worth a lot- never forget that. You have to believe it, and once you do, everyone else will concur.

[taraprincess]

sweetie here is a huge hug...much love and huggies

[taraprincess]

sweetie here is a huge hug...much love and huggies