A long, disheartening journey

[pepperkake]

Hi! I have arrived here just by chance, and it seems about the right place to find some help to a couple of issues. First of all, pardon my English, as it is not my mother tongue.

I am a middle-aged woman, mom of 4 wonderful kids. I live in Europe. I lived for a long time abroad, and have now moved back to my country. It has been a long, difficult and disappointing move. I thought our lives would improve considerably being near good friends and family. Abroad we had relative economical success, but missed our loved ones. Even though it is nice to have them close to us now, in our way here we also happened to meet some unkind, selfish persons who tried to take advantage of us, who gave us a hard time and even threatened our lives. This has affected us, especially me, very deeply.

For the past 10 years or so, I often had a recurrent dream; a dream in which I lost a bracelet, or a ring, a very valuable item. I always woke up in panic and repeating to myself that I MUST find it again. I was surprised to find myself still half-asleep looking for this item. What is more intriguing is that I knew that this item was mine and very important to me, but when completely awake I could not recall owning something like this... or did I? It felt like my memory slowly slipped away.

After the move, I miss a few things. I have searched high and low, but cannot find them. They were not lost in the move, as I know they arrived here safely. I saw them. They disappeared afterwards. They are very different things. A steam iron, quite a big item, really. My son's iPod, new and shiny. A ring, one which was my mother's, and which I got from her. The ring is an inexpensive one, quite old, with a very big blue stone, which I liked a lot. Finally, a little gold necklace. The necklace is an item of very strong sentimental value for me. It is a little gold Catholic cross (a Caravaca cross) that my mother bought me there. It is supposed to be an amulet that protects you from all harm. Tradition says one cannot buy it for self; it must be given to you by someone who loves you and wishes to protect you. I used to wear it around my neck, but the clasp broke, and then I always had it with me in my purse. It's gone missing.

As I said before, this has been a very rough time for me and my family. We almost lost everything we own, we have been ill, and right now we are in serious economical trouble. At the moment I don't have a job, and it is likely my husband loses his job. During the summer, I had keratitis, an inflammation of the cornea, and then a friend of mine suggested I have been given the "evil eye". It would make sense, as lately it feels like nothing good comes our way.

I have been having an unusual amount of déjà vús for the last couple of years.  I ask myself, "Where am I now? Was it wrong of us to try and make our lives better?" Because it seems we got much worse. Is it our fault, or are there other forces at work? Do any of you sense anything that could be of help? You might see the bigger picture that I fail to get. It would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

P.S. I am not sure what a reading is, should I ask for one?

[sayuwontcare]

I am probably not qualified to give readings on here but I got a little bit of advice once from my grandmother that I never forgot.Some people pray for more strength, they feel that they aren't strong enough to handle things sometimes. Instead of praying for strength I was told to ask for situations where you could be strong.

I do not know what desires you have for yourself or your family. But I can assure you that though these are trying times, these situations will help you become stronger and closer together as a family.  Instead of looking at situations at face value think of the meaning behind them. If you are going through a difficult time; you can find the resolve to keep going.  I got a pretty good feeling that your decision to move back though it is hard now will work out and prove to be a good choice for your family but it is going to be an uphill struggle for a few more years. Nothing gets better over night. Find your resolve, life has a funny way of making things work out in the end.

[Phoen!x]

Dear Peperkake,
To be frank, yours is an unbelievable story. While I was reading it, I felt like I'm going through a dream.

Without saying much, I'd like to suggest you to do go for a reading and see if there's any planetary combination posing ill effect in your life. It does happen, and hence good to know. Readings might not solve your problem, but it's always good to have an umbrella while it's raining.

God bless.

[pepperkake]

I want to say thank you to all of you who sent me good wishes. I found one of the items, the following day after having written this. I woke up in the middle of the night and knew where it was, just like that.  Rather special, really. I wanted to tell you in order to say thank you, but I didn't have the chance to log in until now.
On the other hand, things have got worse, as I was fearing. My husband got fired today.

Thank you for your kind words, sayuwontcare, they actually reflect pretty accurately how I have been feeling the last couple of days. I feel that the best we have is in ourselves and in our relationship, and that is something nobody can ever take from us. Now I know we'll be alright, even if it means to start all over again. You are talking about strength, and I actually feel quite strong now. Strange, because at the same time I I feel kind of scared, too. I guess I still need a hug

Phoen!x, thank you very much for taking the time to write me some words. It feels like a dream for myself too, especially now that the worst which could happen, happened. (Well, after all, it is not the worst either). But, as I said, I no longer feel so lost, even though I am still scared. Our lives need a lot of "rearrangements", so I guess I still need all the help or the hints I can get!

Thank you all!

[Kimbee]

A HUGE hug for you!! I'm sorry to hear about your husband being fired. It's really like the cherry on the top, isn't it?

My mom always say that things happen for a reason and that when things get tough, it means there's going to be something really great that happens. I don't know if that's 100% true, but it happens a lot in both our lives, so I'm willing to believe in it. I think there will be some benefit from all of this, even if you can't see it right now. It must be very stressful, but at least you have your family and friends around you, right? If this was happening somewhere far away from them, it might be even harder, and who's to say it wouldn't have happened if you had stayed where you were?

I hope you find your necklace and ring! It sounds like they were really important to you, and I can't even imagine losing things like that... Maybe these items will appear again when the worst of the storm is over? Sometimes the world tests us like that, I think.

Anyway, I'll be keeping you in my meditations and I hope everything improves for you.

[Rook]

Pepperkake,

Sorry to hear of the difficulties you are going through.  I am struggling at the moment myself, and it is a drain.  But I don't think I am anywhere near as tough as you.

That said my difficulties have been ongoing for years now, and though every day is a struggle and a challenge, I know that without this challenge pushing me I would not love and appreciate what is important in my life at all.  My fiance warned me when I met her that she was cursed.  I didn't believe her.  But now I do.  But that curse is now important to me and I wouldn't do without it.

In the end it adds life and colour to my adventure - and when I view life as an adventure not an ocean cruise it gets easier to accept the difficulty and move on to finding a solution.

As for your dream (me being into dream interpretation) it is a riddle.  The importance here is that is of high value and symbolised by a circle.  That search for this item of great value might very well be what you lead you here.  For the circle is a symbol of the complete self (mind body spirit).  I get the feeling from this dream that you have lost your true Self - and this dream is a push to discover yourself.  The searching you need to do is not searching for a physical ring - you need to do some soul searching.  I highly recommend this via some form of creative medium - be it art, painting, drawing, writing, poetry.  I think you need to delve into your inner world.  There you will find the treasure.

Sweet dreams, and best of luck,
Rook

[Spirit_of_Phoenix]

I don't have wise words to give but just a huge hug to help you feel that there are people out there thinking of you

[Duchess1964]

Here is a hug and my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

Beyond that ... request a reading, it can't hurt, it may even assist in this time.

[symulhaque]

Hugs for you. Never get depressed. Everything is going to be okey.