I need something....

[Sialei]

Right now i am angry, sad wanna cry all rolled in to one...it almost feels like i could give up and go the opposite way of my spiritual being...i know i harbour alot of feelings and frustrations that i havent acknowledged but im trying to get my sh*t together...get focussed and invite Love into my life but sometimes it just gets overwhleming and feel im not strong enough...

Like others, I too am going through changes in my life and wanna seperate myself from everyone I know. I just seems that noone (that i associate myself with) is on the track that I want to go down.

I love to smoke pot. Please dont down me for this ( not that I would listen anyway) but for me it helps me meditate and be in a frame of mind that lets me get over things that normally i would blow up at.

Ive come a long way from where I was a few years ago and for that I should be grateful but at the same time Im only human...some days are good and then others I could just curl up n go to sleep...

Thanks for reading my sh*t...please dont reply, im feelin alil better apart from my eyes welling up and a big knot in my throat but other than that right here right now I am OK... just wanna say thanks for this website...im not a poster, never have been...and i hate public displays of affection (heh) but in here I can feel the love...I'll continue to read in this site...it helps alot so thanks...thanks heaps

Peace out!

[Evie]

Hi... and welcome to the Mystic Board  :smt006

 (((hugs)))  I know you said you didn't want a reply,
 but I am not so good in the obedience department...
 Rather, very much a rebel.     :smt002

 I am  new here too and have been reading a lot... and from
 what I can see you don't have to worry about being judged  
 here, at all.  You will find-like minded people here. No matter what it is  
 you are interested in!  
 I see incredible encouragement and support here.  :smt056
 Educational tools .... plus a lot of fun too!  :smt023
 

 I am twice your age and I can't count the number people who have
 come and gone from my life.  The keepers ... ya I can count them...
 Sometimes, I deliberately them banished from from my life. Or life
 circumstances and life and interest changes caused a drifting apart.
 

 The thing I realised that helped me the most... is recognising
 that everyone has their own reality > nothing we can do about that.
 It's their movie... they get to direct and act it out as they see things.
 Every step of the way. It is hard to be unattached to someone else's  
 movie, especially if we love them.  

 I feel you are feeling misunderstood... and this is not only frustating...  
  It hurts.  
   :smt010   If you ever need to chat... No matter how you are
  feeling... I am not so far away.  It is a small world after all.
 

 P E A C E
 Evie

[Sialei]

Evie...thank you for your kind words...they come to me at a time when i need them the most...I have friends but I dont tell them my problems...i tend to help others and keep my own sh*t to myself and when they ask my reply is always''sweetaz'' After awhile it starts to take its toll and today was one of those days...thankfully there are angels out there such as urself...God bless you Evie and thanks for just being there...


Peace out!

[Mordsith]

It might help to know that almost everyone feels the way you do to a greater or lesser extent at different times in their lives.

Meditation is the other thing that helps.  But mostly it is the knowledge that you are a unique, special and wonderful person.  And although you are small and scared and lonely - so are the other BILLION people in the world with you!

Oh, and the opposite side of the odd spliff is that you feel better at first but much lower afterwards!  Well, it used to for me.

Be safe, be happy and be well!

[6IncenseStix]

Ditto, I feel the same way right now in my life.

Sorry I can't give too much advice but I DO know for a fact, we WILL conquer these tasks...

~Rose

[Rhutobello]

I will give you a Bear big hug too....but at the same time give you my experience of "stimuli"

A stimuli work as stimuli only if you "don't" use it or if you do it seldom.
If you use a stimuli in order to relax you soon will notice that the effect decrease, you have to take it more often, but you will never experience the same feeling as your first.
Since your "mind" crave for this feeling, your normal life start to be more miserable and you look forward to the next time you can "relax".
Or shall we use the real term for it "fool yourself", I have been there, for some year I fooled myself to think that stimuli could save my life.
Lucky for me...I woke up...saw the madness....and I will say my life have been much better after this event then under.

Another thing you shall bring into mind is. You are young...to use stimuli are seen upon as an negative act...by using it you will prevent positive people to be attracted to you, but on the other hand your acquaintances will be more and more of the negative characters, those who always find an excuse to blame all other humans for their miserable life.

You is the one who are responsible for yourself, use meditation and the spiritual life as stimuli and I am sure your life will be far better in the long run!

[taraprincess]

sweetie i know what u are going thru i love someone but they dont love me back the same way. and it hurts alot but i learn to get thru it day by day. and u will get thru also. im here for u if u ever need to talk. stay positive and sweet. hugs

[Sialei]

Cheers for the replys all...i havent been back to view this page coz I didnt really wanna know that there are  people out there who wanna help and are going through the same stresses in life...another reason is because I feel like my problems are only small in comparison to whats happening out there...( heh i laugh when i say 'out there' sounds like something from the "Outta Limits")

Rhutobello, thanks for your comments on stimuli...I can understand where your coming from...thanks for caring enough to write it...I smoke weed like uncle Bob, to get closer to that other level, i meditate when im high, thats the only way I know how to connect with my inner being... Ive got mercury in aries...smoking helps the messenger slow down...take note, look around and observe but with Love...

ya feel me...

Peace everyone and I hope allz having a great weekend....Tara peace n love to you too

[suzisco]

Hello there, I am glad you came and talked to us, a problem shared is a problem halved.  So a hug from me and some warm wishes.  Come back and talk any time.

Suzi