LOST ALL FAITH

[angelmama]

Well, this corks it....I have been given the blame completely for issues my children have that resulted from their father's abuse, while he got off scott free and continues to abuse them during unsupervised access. I started volunteering at the school in my kids class at request of the teacher. My son has had behavioural issues off and on at the school for about 2 years now. The principal has come along now and informed me I can no longer volunteer at the school because she thinks my participation in the classroom is causing his behaviours that have been there all along.

TL

[LibB]

Angelmama, Don't give up. Go to poetry and read my poem "Before it's to late to say a prayer" change the words to feel like you are reading it for your self and please have faith. I know just how you are feeling. Not exactly the same situation but definitely the same subject. If you need someone to talk with I'm always here. Maybe we can find a special path for you to go down so others find out the truth. In Crystals there is a post about a crystal that brings out the truth in people, I don't recall what it is but have a look for you also. I believe most children will play up when parent is around a opposded to someone they are not completely familiar with. Most Grandparents (my Mum) tells me that my children are really well behaved and adorable angels when she has them. They are adorable angels but aren't that well behaved at home or wherever else they are with me. That's Kids.
Anyway I won't go on as it is 11.05 pm here and my 21/2 yo is sitting next to me half asleep, wanting Mummy LOL.
Speak to you soon.
Sending you Heavenly Hugs and Golden Light.
Libby (LibB)  :smt059  :smt056  :smt059


New note: if someone says something that is false and you are being victimized say these words: I ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING BUT I DON'T ACCEPT IT!!! and leave it at that. This has actually worked for me. The surprised feeling you get is totally amazing. Have a go, see what happens.

[Rhutobello]

A Big hug to you and and a lots of hugs to your kids who are the real victim in this case.

It's not a good message to get from school....and I am sure it has been hard for them to give it too.

I am sure you are a good mother....and as such you will protect your children.

Maybe your job at school can be "a little bit over protecting" because of your situation. This will then have influence both on your child and those around him.
Kids can be cruel, and if you are overprotecting your son...he will suffer when you aren't there.
There is much that goes around in the brain to a kid....maybe the principal have seen that it's better he is trying to cop with it inside what school have to offer,
since you will have him all the time outside school.

But the most important thing is how your kids feel about it, we as adult can be angry....but we should be able to understand if we give it a thought...not seen from us...but from them.

Many times when a marriage goes...or as you say ..there have been abuse....then we are always in an attack possision......that we must not do.

Another big hug...and good luck to you!

[digiseg]

"MOTHER" the word itself has greatest power on EARTH, believe in yourself and your issue will be handled easily.

With lots of HUGS...

[Samson]

I'm sorry Angelmama, I missed your post but am here now, I wish you well and hope the Universe can see the pain that you are going through and give you peace. I'm sending you a {{{BIG SAMSON HUG}}} to comfort you in this time of need.

[lunarcraft]

Hi TL - sorry I have not contacted you for a while ... that is not to say you have not been in my thoughts daily - you have been.  I am so very sorry to hear what has happened but I believe it will have happened for a reason, not yet clear what that is, but you will come back ... stronger and more in control at the end of it.

I also echo Libby's advice about being falsely accused - try it and refuse to shoulder the blame, mentally send the blame to where it rightly belongs, but do so without malice.

Brightest Blessings

Sarah

[suzisco]

I am sad to hear that Child protection issues continue to dog you.  MY thoughts are with you, a large hug and i echo all thats been said before, you need to be strong for your kids.  You will be shown to be right, its just taking time.

Suzi

[ritzyglitz]

Hi angelmama, well this does bring back memories for me......Its hard to tell someone how they should feel or act...but what you really need is to stand up and believe in yourself first...my struggle is still going on after 15 years but believe me its worth everything.....my ex cannot have anymore access but my child still suffers just like as if he was there....I tried councelling for 11 years and have had a few idiots try and understand when they themselves had no children....
The last woman I found was fantastic...there was no BS.... she spoke to my son first and then together....what she got us to do is actually take it in turns infront of one another to say what actually happened in the past and how it made each of us feel....the brilliant idea of when it came my turn to explain what I went through to protect my child/children she wrote it down and the following week it would be typed up like a chapter in a book....so for every visit we did another chapter got added...he then had to bring it home and read it in his own time....I can't explain the difference it made from then on....don't get me wrong we still have our moments of nightmares....verbal abuse from my son etc....but every now and then I remind him to go read the chapters again....so he could understand what I went through to protect him....
It was a chance for my son to really know that I went through hell and back to protect him from that monster.....
we found out later in some of the sessions that he did blame me for most of it...why would his mummy give him over to his father when she knew what was going on...........that's when I explain to my son that I had no choice the judge made me hand him over and there was nothing I could do to stop it......
after 3 months of unsupervised access we were back in court and the judge tried to apologise to me for the order he made priviously....all I could say was "I hope you sleep at night because my child doesnt"
he can never contact us again......
but it took me a long time for that to happen.....
I dont know much about the ins and outs of your situation but if you ever want to send me a private message and talk more indepth please do so.....
I feel for you and if I could give you the biggest HUG I would.....so here goes.
You need to be proud and protect your child with every breath that you have.......I also know that you want to be near him at all times to make sure he is safe...but sometimes its not the answer.....any kid plays up when mums around....but in situations like this maybe just let him be a kid at school and your baby at home....if you know what I mean...
Talk to the school...you should be able to work with them but not actually in school grounds.....talk to them on a regular basis.....when people dont understand a situation fully they can be very cruel......
Another mistake I made was I tried to wrap him in cotton wool but in the end all I did was made him feel bad...he felt like he wasnt worth anything....so I set ground rules from an early age and treated him the same as the other children (I have 4)
All you can do is give him lots of love and attention.....you're the only one who will be there to pick up the pieces when they need to be picked up.
Be strong........write everything down that happens in diary...and I mean every little bit of info goes in that diary as a record....you probably think no one is listening but believe me in the end they will.....have all that information writing down and they wont have a choice but to do something.....you must explain what you child is like when he gets back....what mood swings he has....anything he might mention about the time spent with his father....and anything else that is relevant  to it.....
my son is 15 now and he still has nightmares and his moods change drastically but all I can do is tell him everything will be alright...no one can ever hurt him again....
I dont know if I have made any sense to you but I have so much in my head right now from what your going through that my heart aches...
keep smiling, dont let this person destroy you ....
HUGE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[urbanquesturge]

push through, eventually through all the pain and suffering you'll figure out a way to make this better on your own

[symulhaque]

Why so serious man? Love is nothing. Just enjoy every moment.