Do I need a hug? NO! I need a LOT of hugs! (lol)

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_Patt_
Posts: 200
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2007 12:47 pm
Location: Shiny Place in Europe

Do I need a hug? NO! I need a LOT of hugs! (lol)

Post by _Patt_ » Sun Dec 30, 2007 9:02 pm

Hello ppl, I'm still exploring the site and I decided to share my story with you, because I'm also kind desperate, confused, hurted, whatever you can say... I'm gonna apologise already for the big text that is coming...sorry lol... I hope I can get any of your help and insight too. Thanks :).



Well this guy is not from my country, we met occasionally in a forum about a serie, not even a date fforum, because I'm not into that things... After 2 months of talking through the forum he gave to me his msn email, you started to talk about other things including ourselves. He has a complicated childhood, he felt always like an unwanted child and his mother left him, he's now just living with his father and his sister with his mother. He doesn't even have contact with mother's family side neither his mother.
Things started to be intense, I think he found in me someone he could also trust and made him also feel safe in the middle of his trauma...As after a time we feel in love with each other, we wanted badly to meet personally each other(we used web cam to talk everydays), I couldn't afford the trip and he said he would pay and if I didn't accpet his money he would be sad, because we couldn't be really together...well I accepted and went to his country in april (he couldn't come to mine as in april he was still 17). WE spent awesome time, we have so much things in common, I stayed in his house with his father, I met his only family (aunt and grandmother from father's sided) and everyone treated me like a princess, we have fun together and we kind have a mental connection that sometimes was scary lol (I knew what he was about to say and thinking and the other way around too), things got pretty intense between us, we both started to make future plans...and he was the one that wanted to me to stay with him there already in april (we just had 3months at that time), lots of tears from both on airport, but I came back and we continued talking everydays through msn webcam.

Well, on June he talked with his father and asked permission to come to my country. He stayed on my house, meet my parents, he wanted and we bought rings, we had a great time, I took him to meet places and stuff...He made lots of promises and said that he wanted me with him in his country (as in mine there's kind an economy crisis), he said he would never leave me, I was his everything, his angel and so on...he said he would try and open his heart with his father and convince him to let me move to their house when he arrived back in his country, well again when he came back, tears at the airport...
In the begining of July he told me he talked with his father and he let me move to his house, he was so happy and I was too...
But since middle July and some time in August with had some fights, always because a friend of him (I already had been pissed at him because of this guy before, and he even cried saying he didn't want to hut me). I don't know why, but I feel he has difficult in saying "no" to the guy, somehow it seemed that he always chose the guy instead of me...I went really pissed, he always said I'm the most important person in his life and his intention was not hurting me... Somehow, I knew that his friend his a problem (plus in the beggining of the relationship, he was the one saying he was disappointed with his friend that seemed jealous instead of happy for him...so how the hell he call best friend to a guy that he notices that?!)

September I moved to his country and house, everything went lovely in his 18th birthday and in all next days. We had fun, we spend good times, it's true he lost his viginity with me I also with him (but this was already in april) and we had a good intimate life, we got along very well in the house issues...everything was going smoothly until he lost his job... He turned quiet and serious, I knew he was hurted and frustated because of the way he was treated so I understood (this was more or less in the middle of october). Because he started to not doing othing, not even take iniciative to look for new jobs his father got mad with him lots of time and argued a lot with him...I felt he was pushing me away and asked if somethig was wrong, he said always it was nothing with me and I believe, because he said he just about the non-job situation, besides he wasn't the same nice person he used to be, even said that his job issue was non of my business when I tried to help him...

Through his father help he finally got an interview to a job, however we already had talked because of this situation we were spending too much time together doing nothing...I needed space and he too...but nothing we could do, I was still waiting for some government papers that would able me to apply for jobs and he was curretly without a job...)
Besides the interview went well, his mood wasn't getting better and he didn't want to do anything...We still had some good time, but honestly I wasn't feeling very happy because he didn't have any iniciatives, his father was teh one making plans, and when we were going out was with his father...Fortunately some days after, he surprised and took me to the movies... But in the next weekend, everything changed...

Again a huge fight with his father, he was closed in his room, I was with him...Besides that we had fun together, played some computer games, tickling each other... At night, I made something for me to eat and I was eating in living room. When I finished, I went to his room and caught his looking to something that seemed porn, I went crazy, he always said he didn't like that things and criticized them, so how could he lied to me, how could he do this to me...He was just saying it was commercials, but I shut the door of the room in his face and went crying to the kitchen; he father saw and went screaming at him what he has done to me...
Well, I went to scream with him, he father went outside house and I was arguing with him badly...He was just saying it was commercials and I don't trust him, then I ask if were just commercials why then you close when you noticed me? "Because of this" he said, well truly I didn't believe none of his words and when I picked his laptop for him to show me he turned agressive and I screamed to him "if you hurt me, I'll hurt you back", he run into the living room, threw away our ring and sai it's over. I paralised and asked if he knew what he was doing...he went to the bathroom and I asked him to put the ring, he said for me to pick it...

After that he put the ring but changed dramatically with me and he for sure talked with that other guy...he starts to reject me and so on... he asked for a time and one or two days after, one more arguement with his father about the way he was dealing with me, so it was decided it's better for me to come back to my country and so it was...

It made already one month nad a few days that I'm back, I'm trying to get a job, restart my life and moving on.

He keeps contact to me, talk about things that has nothing to do with main issue, since I'm here I noticed he blocked me on his old email and when comes to msn his with the most recently one and waits for me to talk, as I don't say anything he just says "I'm going to bed, goodnight"...

2 days ago I sent an email saying time's over and his has to decide himself, I still didn't get an answer. Yesterday just sent a message informing about something about his pets...so nothing about the main issue...

I really want to move on, because I think I don't deserve, but the worst his I have his father contact on msn and he also talks to me...and recently I found that the guy might "spy" me through his father msn email or even ask to his father to ask me something...Plus they sent me more presents on christmas and some was from him...

And all this is making more difficulft for me to make the dettachment... I'm really tired of all this games situation, I sware... but I do really love him (fortunately or unfornately...).   *sighs*

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suzisco
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Post by suzisco » Sun Dec 30, 2007 9:57 pm

A large hug to you.

The sensible part of me says just block your msn to him and that way his dad, and your ex cannot email or message you.  That will allow you to move on.  Its going to hurt but ending relationships always do.  However your a very strong person and you will survive.  Also you will meet the right person for you eventually.  Just don't look for them, they will turn up when you least expect it.

Good luck to you and keep us posted on how its going.

Suzi XXX
Enjoy when you can and endure when you must.
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Nicole
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Post by Nicole » Sun Dec 30, 2007 10:27 pm

Hello _Patt_,  :smt006

Here is a Hug~!!
(((_Patt_)))

How about a nice walk to a park with an old friend or sister...
Talk about things you are going to do in 2008..  :smt020
Start small one day at a time...
None is holding you back nice lady...
Smile more ppl take note when you frown..
Smiling makes others wonder..LoL

Also please to meet you~!! :smt039

lexie1234
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Location: sydney

Post by lexie1234 » Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:47 pm

GIANT *HUG*

:)

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_Patt_
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Location: Shiny Place in Europe

Post by _Patt_ » Mon Dec 31, 2007 12:09 am

awww I feel better now :D.

Susy: You are right, I'm very strong...sometimes I'm thinking how I can handle some stuff... And nothing happens without a reason or purpose, right? I took a lesson from my mistake of being so naive (again in my life), I can't give so much of myself to a person...I really love when I love...Well, I have to keep focused in moving on, no matter what happens like that stupid things that messes my head... And one day eventually I find the love I deserve, I believe he's out there somewhere...

Nicole: Believe me, I'm always with good mood and joking...if I wasn't like that I'd be doomed and falling into a depression, but I enjoy everything I have, every little thing, so if it's a sunny day it makes me smile already...Know what I mean? Of course, I don't deny I cry sometimes...I think it's normal as I love him...but then I try to cheer up and distract myself with other things and thoughts.

Thank a lot for your hugs, and I want to hug all you 3! So (((Susy))), (((Nicole))) and (((lexie))), nice to meet you all, really.

I'll keep you informed about how's going this situation and also I'm going to be here and anything I'm glad to help you and anyone else! :)

lexie1234
Posts: 56
Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 10:58 am
Location: sydney

Post by lexie1234 » Mon Dec 31, 2007 4:26 am

nice meeting you to, i wish all the best for you and i hope you have a happy new year....

i'm from austraila so it's new years eve today:)

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_Patt_
Posts: 200
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2007 12:47 pm
Location: Shiny Place in Europe

Post by _Patt_ » Mon Dec 31, 2007 5:27 pm

lexie1234 wrote:nice meeting you to, i wish all the best for you and i hope you have a happy new year....

i'm from austraila so it's new years eve today:)
yeah you are already in 2008 lol! aww thanks lexie :D, I wish a super 2008 to you and to everyone too.

taraprincess
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Joined: Mon Feb 26, 2007 3:57 pm

Post by taraprincess » Mon Dec 31, 2007 10:00 pm

sweetie here is a huge hug... much love and huggies

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_Patt_
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Location: Shiny Place in Europe

Post by _Patt_ » Tue Jan 01, 2008 12:27 pm

taraprincess wrote:sweetie here is a huge hug... much love and huggies
thanks my friend =), a big hug to you too! ((tprincess)) :)
When I get logical, and I don't trust my instincts...that's when I get in trouble.

taraprincess
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Post by taraprincess » Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:13 pm

u welcome sweetie my pleasure... much love and huggies

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Psychic Chef
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Smile

Post by Psychic Chef » Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:49 am

Head up Patt.
Huge hugs and you have a relationship coming your way this year from near you, so dont worry about the distraction from your old flame.
It wasnt going to work out.
Cheers Pete

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Samson
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Post by Samson » Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:55 am

Hi Patt, as we have never met on this site I would like to say Hello and would love to give you a very BIG SAMSON HUG to help to take away all the pain.

Take Care,

Samson.

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lluvia
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Location: z-hills fl

huuuuuge hug

Post by lluvia » Fri Jan 04, 2008 1:10 pm

:smt006 HI HERES A HUUUGE HUG N POSITIVE ENERGY :smt007  :smt007  :smt007 N A LOT OF LOVE LLUVIA

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remusa
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Here's a hug

Post by remusa » Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:51 am

Here's a huge hug for you. :smt041

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_Patt_
Posts: 200
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2007 12:47 pm
Location: Shiny Place in Europe

Post by _Patt_ » Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:46 pm

Everyone THANKS =D! I'm so glad to meet you all and a huge hug for you! (yeah I hug back :)) Thanks all for your words and thanks special to you Pete =).


I hope I won all your friendship, you all have mine ;)
When I get logical, and I don't trust my instincts...that's when I get in trouble.

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