:( Need Advice and Hug

[brezofleur]

So I've been lurking for a while, but just signed up today. I follow Western astrology, but am still somewhat learning, despite many years of interest. I'm a cancer woman and my boyfriend of almost three years is a Scorpio.

We had a very healthy sex life up until he left for a year for Japan where he taught English. We were together for 3 months and continued to stay together while he was there. I even visited him for a couple of weeks. When he got back, we moved in with each other and our sex life was still pretty good. Slowly, though, it has started to diminish to the point where it happened only once a month for the last few months. We bickered about how I wasn't that independent and focused too much on "us" rather than "me" which I know doesn't turn on scorpios. I've been battling with depression all my life and I have finally started to do something about it. My new year's resolution was to be more independent, exercise more, feel more sexy, and focus more on me. I made this decision for me. Of course, this has since come too late and my scorpio moves out tomorrow. I haven't seen him in 2 and a half weeks now and he hardly talks to me. I, unfortunately, took this as a point that he didn't want to talk to me about our relationship so I decided to move on. (I cried at first, and he knew it. :/)

Last Saturday I had his brother, his brother's best friend, my best friend, and her friend over at our/my apartment. When my boyfriend got back home from Japan, he expressed concern about his brother having interest in me. I have never seen his brother act thusly. I love his brother like I love my brothers and that's how I see him.

I posted a blurb about my Saturday night and my boyfriend freaked out, saying that he was jealous that he was over and that if I was in his shoes, how jealous I would be if i saw pics of him dancing and partying with other 'chicks'. well, i was never in a picture with his brother nor were there any dancing going on. in fact, the only reason why his brother came over was because of my best friend's friend.

so now i'm not quite sure what to do. of course, i'm very calm about tomorrow, supportive about it, and am giving him space. i will continue to be doing this, but do you think there's any chance of me getting him back? His reasons for moving out was his stress with me and his stress at school. He is a first year law student-boot camp, basically-and is 28 years old.

Is there anything else I can do? He won't answer me when I question him about our relationship. He deleted me off his myspace, yet it says he's still in a relationship. He didn't want to see any updates of me with other guys, he said. And I know there's no other woman; there's no way he'd be able to handle THAT stress right now, lol.

I'm just tired. I am moving on with my life, and am not holding back on hanging out with my guy friends. And I am willing to be patient and wait for him. I never meant for him to get jealous; truth be told, I had absolutely no idea that he'd be jealous over his brother coming over. I had even forgotten about that bit before...

Thanks in advance.


Heather

[soul_flower]

Hello Heather,heres some *huggles* and my love going to you.


Breaking up with someone is never easy and it can be more awful if you battle an illness like depression to......I have broken up with my bf and it was me who made the choice but it was because i didnt know who i was anymore.I didnt think of myself as my own person and i also wasnt independent.I also have depression and its tough.I hate myself alot of the time for doing this,i hurt because i fear my son will suffer and blame it on me one day.I know how you feel and im sure most people do, but i think the best thing would be give him some space......

Sometimes a break from things for people can work wonders.We can grow alot when we only have ourselves to think about etc.....Maybe this is the chance for you to find out who you are,and for him to find his feet again......It is difficult,i know.I think once he has had time to think and free his head maybe then he might want to talk to you about things.

Good on you with your new year's resolutions.....This might be the chance to do what you need to do?! It's important to think about you because if you arent totally happy then other things will suffer.....You will get there and you should be proud of yourself for taking the first steps.


Tamara :o)

[Rhutobello]

A big grandpa hug to you....and a question....why will you have him back?

You are 22.....you have lived with, or known, him  for almost 3 years.

All I can see is that the sex are good.....what about caring...and support.....what about common interest.....how is he when you not have sex?

Try to imagine him in 20-30 years from now....do you think he still will support you...will you still feel happy when the sex has slowed down and the guy himself must be the one that makes you feel good?

A relationship is an investment in the future, and with all investment one need to evaluate in some degree, at least when it seems the "burning love"
from one part has vanish
It also seems he can be jealous, it can look exciting at first....but it is a very "cruel" illness if he has it and can destroy even the best of marriages, because it transfer itself to ownership rather then sharing.

Good luck...all said in order to help...not to be cruel

[Psychic Chef]

Times up, you have out grown him.
Dont bang yourself up over the fact he isnt coming along for your journey.
This is your ride not his  :smt018 .
I can see everything finding its own answers and the outcomes will be fair to your ideas.but you need to stay focused on your needs.
When you look in the mirror you can see the same beautiful lady i can see . There are some good guys out there who would crawl over broken glass just to say hi to you  :smt004 , now get on with it.
Cheers Pete.
ps i love your eyes, they are intense and deep.

[karlenespellman]

Hi Bre,
I can't add anything to what has been said. Follow what they have told you. You are on the right path.
A HUGE HHHUUUGGG to you, and all positive energy.
Kar

[swetha]

hi brezofleur

a huge HUGGGGGGGG to you:)
life is simple if u keep it simple... so keep moving .. u have a long one ahead and i am sure it will be filled with a lot of special happy memories. y dont u pick up some new hobby that u have u always wanted to do but never did:) and that wud give u time to think it out too.

[nitinkankan]

Hi Bre,

I came across ur post and after reading it, I found that it is no different from what happens with a long relationship. Yes, I consider 3-4 years of relationship as long. And it happens with most of the people where in one gets bored of his/her partner after spending such long periods with him/her. I think it's natural. But, by saying this I have no intention to hurt you.
Now, proceeding towards the solution.....I think, you have got two options to choose from. Now, it's up to you which one you think is right for you because ultimately it's your life and that's why it shud be your own choice only.
Option one is, you follow the advice of other fellow boarder which actually means, forget this guy as probably he is done with you and then why shud u follow him when he wants to get rid of u (at least that's what sounds from ur post, u may have more clear picture abt it !).
Option two is, you make a decision and make yourself prepared to get this guy back in your life. Believe me, it's not very difficult. If people can get the guy they hardly know of why can't you who have spent so much time with him do that. You must be knowing a lot abt him. Use that information to attract him back towards you. But while doing that, always be positive and confident that u will get him. Never ever, the thought of losing him should come to ur mind coz it will divert ur focus. Personally speaking, if I had been in ur shoes then I would have chosen this option and if I love someone this much, I would never let him/her go just like that. I believe, if you do this with your heart and soul, he will definitely listen to it and if you get him back this time you won't lose him for the rest of this life and may be in your next birth as well.....
Best of Luck!!!

[CaraCat]

Sometimes it's not easy to decide what to do next. It seems as if your boyfriend needs some time and space for himself for a while. He thinks more about himself than of others at the moment, although he should also think about what you are going through in this situation now. Let him do the first step towards you, do not force a decision. Men are not easy, that's a matter of fact...
Wish you all the best!

CaraCat  :smt006

[lluvia]

BIG HUGS WISHING YOU THE BEST LLUVIA

[yc01]

Hi,
this is really a very complicated situation. I think it would not help you feel better but I want to say that you are not alone. We, other women, even from other countries and other cultures, live the same/similar experiences with men. We try to help each other, we listen to each other, we want to share other problems but at least in my case, that does not help me but complicates the situation. Timing is the key I think. When to think, speak, act and where and if these all are necessary, why do we want this realtionship? When to attach, when to let go of someone or something. These are all difficult to answer. Unfortunately, I couldn't find my personal answers to these issues too. I believe that we should just a little bit slow down. We should give some time/some place to ourselves and universe/almighty whatever you call. This way, our mind and heart will feel better and give healthier clues to us to perceive our situation better. I write down all these things but I know it's not east to practice this but if we can, it's results are unbelievable. If you want to wait him for sometime, please do not wait forever. Do not close yourself to the new and maybe much more happier gifts of the life. Balance is the key and you are the only person to find that magical balance.
Best wishes.

[taraprincess]

sweetie here is a huge hug...much love and huggies