I’m so lonely and sad, please help

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kt010
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2008 3:10 pm

I’m so lonely and sad, please help

Post by kt010 » Thu Feb 28, 2008 4:15 pm

Hello, I need some words of wisdom or advice. I’m completely sad and alone, and I don’t know what to hold on to. When I say alone, I really mean it. I guess I’m okay with the fact I only have one friend I hang out with. Because, then I hang out with her friends. My real problem is that I don’t have anyone that loves me; I want a boyfriend so bad. I think I deserve one by now! I’m 24 and I’ve only been on 4 or 5 stand-alone dates and I’ve dated one guy for a shocking whole month. I don’t have commitment issues, it’s just none of these guys were any good for me. The few guys I really liked stopped calling me and lost interest, and the others just didn’t match me. (One guy had a secret girlfriend and the other had a wife with children he didn’t bother mentioning)
Some people are content with being single, but I’m not. People keep saying, don’t worry, you’ll find someone. Well, I haven’t met anyone yet, and I have been looking. I’ve dated from Internet dating sites, which I hate doing. I really really hate those sites, but I don’t have any options, cause there’s no opportunities for me to meet anyone. I don’t like the bar scenes either, cause I don’t drink.
I’m crying a lot lately, this has been going on forever. The first date I ever had was in college, and I didn’t even go to my high school prom. It kills me; sometimes I just go to the bathroom at work and just cry. I pray a lot too, for some divine intervention or something. I’m also shy, which makes the odds of finding love even greater. I can’t live like this anymore. I would be so much happier if someone loved me. I’m depressed because I’ve been alone for so long, and because I’m depressed I might not be attracting anyone.
I’ve been reading books about soul mates and such to try and get the ball moving, but I’m reading conflicting things. I hear people say as soon as you stop looking you’ll find someone. But don’t you need to put effort into it? Does Love really work like that? I’ve also read that your suppose to tell yourself that your ready for love and spend 10 minutes a day thinking about your make-believe lover and eventually it will come true. So what should I do? Should I stop looking or keeping looking? Which would be the best option to find someone?
I’m so depressed; sometimes I just want to give up!
:smt009

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tourbi
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Location: tourbiland, at the foot of Pikes Peak, USA

Post by tourbi » Thu Feb 28, 2008 4:28 pm

First of all, lots of hugs, Image

Next, years ago, I had a reading by a very accomplished reader.  She was living what she taught me.
Start sitting down and look inside.  There are lots of parts of us.  First of all find the part who is your best friend.
You can have a male part and female part who are best friends to you.  Sit and talk with them, listen to them.
Next look inside and meet the male in you who is your partner in life. Spend time everyday with this partner.  Talk with him, discuss things with him.  Have a complete relationship with the man inside of you.  Know what he looks like, what he likes and dislikes.  Share with him.  Be honest with him and let him be honest with you.  

Now, when she did this she met a man in her outside world.  He was much like her inside partner. They started dating and became closer.  He suddenly used the same endearment (loving nic name) that her inside partner uses with her.
He had the same likes and dislikes.  They got married.  Now, one of the really neat things she does.  When they have problems, she goes and mediatates and discusses it completely and works it out with her inside partner.  The outside relationship clears up and they too are able to talk and work it out.
It is a very powerful thing to do for ones self.  The various people I know who have done this in their lives have found strong and loving and supportive friends and partnerships.

Take good care and know you have the power and ability to change your life.  Create what you want inside of you and make it real and it has to appear in your outside world.  Image

taraprincess
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Post by taraprincess » Thu Feb 28, 2008 4:31 pm

here is a huge hug sweetie... dont give up there is someone out there for u it will happen u are a wonderful loving person...im sending u some positive energy...much love and huggies :smt007

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dhav
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Location: Earth

Post by dhav » Thu Feb 28, 2008 4:39 pm

Hmm Hi kto1o,

First a huge hug to you.

Image

Reading your life story makes me think a bit about me some years ago.Meeting the wrong guys,being shy,having only one friend and hanging out with her frends.Having also heart breaks and crying all my heart out after being hurt.feeling very lonely most times.

Then a twist took form.I began to understand things.I began to know about spiritual things,destiny and many such things.I began meditation and decided that i should concentrate more on myself,on my development as a human being.i thought this would help me to be fit for the life that has been carved for me as destiny.If i would continue to cry,to pin for others's love and reject loving myself i would not grow as a person.then i saw that gradually as i developed the path would open automatically for me and new worlds would open for me.

As for your love life.I think it is better to wait for the perfect one than having many bad experience with the wrong ones.your heart will know when he will come.So no worry about that.He will come at the right time when you will be ready for him.

so first of all try to know yourself ,discovering yourself and make yourself happy.a happy person will attract a happy relationship.

if you got something to ask ask don't hesitate.If you want to be sure of things try our free readings forum to clarify your doubts.It will do you good.

dhav :smt005

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lluvia
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Location: z-hills fl

huuuuge hug

Post by lluvia » Thu Feb 28, 2008 8:07 pm

:smt059 huge hug, :smt007  :smt007 n lots of love lluvia

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soul_flower
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Location: Australia,Vic.

Post by soul_flower » Fri Feb 29, 2008 4:09 am

I dont really get it either actually.......People say when you stop looking thats when you find love,but then people say never let go of what you want,think it,believe it and it WILL happen......So that confuses me a little......Sometimes what we think we need maybe not be what we really need.....And sometimes it just isnt the right time.You will meet someone,you can never let the faith go,stay positive because it really makes a difference.........

When the time is right you will meet someone,keep that dream alive of the man you want to meet.......Just go about normal every day life and before you know it your man will pop up....

I wish you all the best....Never give up.

Heres some *huggles* and positive energy going your way.

Tamara :o)

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ladybloodmoon
Posts: 32
Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2008 7:35 am
Location: wisconsin, usa

Post by ladybloodmoon » Sat Mar 01, 2008 9:22 am

Heres a big hug i'm not going to say that i know exactly how you feel since i'm not you i would have no way of really knowing that but i've been in your position and although i'm still not in a relationship i've found that if you consintrate more on making your self happy and going about your daily life keep your eyes open for love but don't go out looking for it cuz the more you look the less likely your going to find it. affrimations are great and they do work given time but you have to remeber that if you tell your self something and any part of you say yeah right or thats not going to happen then it's not you have to find a way that all of you is going to belive what your telling your self ya know try picturing your self happy and let the feeling fill you up and try to keep the feeling all day if it starts to go away just picture your self happy again dosn't matter really what your doing in the image just as long as it's something that makes you happy and let it fill you up again i've found that the happier i am with myself the more people are interested in talking to me and i'm shy to so i know it's not easy to meet people but hey i've made a few new friends by doing this and it seems to be working. I send my love and positive energy to you and hope this has at least given you something to think about tring and i hope things get better for you never give up hope

KARLIE4NIA
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Location: Lagos Nigeria
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Post by KARLIE4NIA » Mon Mar 03, 2008 1:54 pm

MY DEAR FRIEND YOU AINT ALL ALONE, I TELL YOU. BY THE TIME YOU DISCOVER THE INNER PERSON IN YOU AND HOW TO COOPERATE WITH /HIM/HER. YOU WILL BE RECEPTIVE TO WHAT EXACTLY YOU DESIRE. SO PLEASE STOP THE SEEMING STRUGGLE,SLOW DOWN, MAKE FRIENDS AS YOU DESIRE AND BE CAREFUL NOT TO CARELESSLY THROW IN YOUR EMOTIONS UNTILL THERE IS CLEAR INDICATION OF COMMITMENT FROM THE OTHER END. KEEP IT ON A PLATONIC LEVEL AND BE YOURSELF.DECIDE TO BE AND REMAIN HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT, NURTURING YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT WITH THE RIGHT EMOTIONS. RELAX AND YOU WILL CERTAINLY GET WHAT YOU WANT. REMEMBER STOP WHEN YOU BEGIN TO FEEL STRESS IN YOUR MIND.LUV YOU.

karlenespellman
Posts: 2246
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 3:38 pm
Location: colorado

Post by karlenespellman » Mon Mar 03, 2008 10:18 pm

Hey KT,

How are ya doing? Haven't heard from you in a while.

I know you don't want to hear this, but you are young yet.
What are your interest's?
Can you volunteer somewhere in something that you truley believe in?
If you are doing something you enjoy, you will be happier on the inside which will radiate out. When that happens, others volunteering, for what they believe in will be doing the same thing.

You will definately meet a lot of great people like yourself, probably make friends, maybe???

Lots of love to you.

Karlene

kt010
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2008 3:10 pm

Post by kt010 » Tue Mar 04, 2008 5:45 pm

Hey everyone, thanks for your comments and advice.
I just hope I find someone by the time I’m 30. I wish I had time to do things that make myself happy. I have no time anymore to do the things I used to like, thanks to my job. If I could get a better job I would, I’m low on energy too. I take naps a lot to ease my mind. I find that it helps a lot. I’ve been trying to do affirmations since January, and say positive things about myself, so I can be happier. Sometimes I believe it and sometimes I don’t. Being lonely is a huge happiness killer, I just can’t accept being alone this long and even longer. As soon as I accept being alone I’ll give up hope. I haven’t figured out how to be alone and happy at the same time yet. I guess I just have to believe I will meet someone someday. I just don’t know how much longer I can wait for love to come my way. I feel like I’m just wasting my years waiting and looking. But that’s I’ll I can do right?

karlenespellman
Posts: 2246
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 3:38 pm
Location: colorado

Post by karlenespellman » Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:09 pm

Kt,

Lets take this in small peices.

Do you have to keep this job? I don't know where you live, so I'm asking. Or are you afraid to look for another?
Keep taking your naps, doing affirmations, and saying the positive things. Keep believeing it. Your the only one who can!!!! When you start to say I don't think so today, Just give yourself a hug from me, and tell yourself you are special. You will smile.

Do me a favor. Stop looking for someone. Start believing in yourself, tell yourself someone is out there looking for you. There is.

You look so hard that the negative veil you put up hides you. Knowing someone is looking for you will fade the negative to positive energy, Then you'll have more someone's than you can handle.

Lots of love to you.

Karlene

kt010
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2008 3:10 pm

Post by kt010 » Wed Mar 05, 2008 1:38 pm

I don’t know what to do with my job, it’s not the worst in the world but it’s not something I like to do. I’m still trying to figure out what career I should get into that they actually have jobs for, and I might like at the same time. I have been looking for jobs, but I haven’t seen one I really would like better than the job I have now. I’ve already graduated college too. I figure if I find something to do that I don’t mind doing everyday I’ll be happier. I’m not happy in general, which I know causes me problems.
I would love to believe that there is someone out there looking for me, it would save me the trouble of looking.

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