Finding myself

Fate7523 · Post by **Fate7523** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:40 pm

Hi. I am in confusion right now and was wondering if someone can point me a direction. I've always wanted to get into a relationship with someone, but hesitant until I found someone who was worth it, someone that I see a future with.

Someone told me that I'm not ready for love right now, and should focus on education and career. She said the reason I'm seeking love is to get the childhood love that I did not get, and said I got the concept of love wrong.

Right now, I feel that love is the only thing that can make me truely happy. Yes going out with friends makes me happy, but when I'm alone, I just feel really down. I really cannot focus 100% on education or career, because I think about love every minute and every second.

Thanks.

Rhutobello · Post by **Rhutobello** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 9:00 pm

A big Grandpa hug to you...and since you asked for advice...I will give you mine

Love can't be ordered as "a big mac", it must come natural and the day you meet the person you really will share your life with, you will know it..and feel it...in your whole body. Hopefully the one you fall for also will fall for you

To think to much on "love" in your situation will only make matter worse.
It will damage your concentration.
This is the time where you put up your foundation for your life, where you get your ground education that will bring you forward.
Everything that takes away your focus from this, might bring you a heavy pay later because you did not see your goals true.

If you go around, longing for love, you will in your behaviour tell any "girl" that you are in a "desperate" state, and that might prevent them from knowing you.

Try to focus on school, try to live as natural as possible....you are still very young and have good time.....when love hit it is like lightning and that might happen tomorrow or in 10 years time....and if you in 10 year meet the right one....well then 10 years are not to long to wait for her!

Good luck....and don't look to much too what your friends do....do what you feel are best for you!

dhav · Post by **dhav** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 9:14 pm

Who is better than Grand Pa to give you the best advice,I agree with Rutho.you should build your foundation at this age.Love will happen at the right time.Everyone would love have have the other significant with him/her but ask yourself if you are really ready to maintain a relationship right now?

I have been at that place at your age.Pinning for love.Well i was too impatient and had a hard time about it.but it was great experience to know more about life(still have to learn more) and get more mature(still have to get wiser).So give yourself and your heart time so that one day you are ready to be with the love of your life.Well i am not saying to flee away from girls or relationship now.you can meet people,know them and see what they bring to you and your life.Have fun i will say.but first nurture yourself and give lots of love to yourself.

a person in love with her/himself will get soemone who will love him back.HEHE.

dhav

Psychic Chef · Post by **Psychic Chef** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 12:00 am

Hi
Time to chill out mate, you are trying to hard and nothing works out when you do that.

Just think about what happened last year when you tryed pushing things along

.
Take Grandpa's advice and just let things take its course. Love will find you a lot sooner than you think but you are stopping this from happening with the actions you are doing now.....Dont make me come and psychicaly "slap ya across the back of the head D'noso"

Cheers Pete

pirbid · Post by **pirbid** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 12:14 am

Hallo, fellow Sag! Such passionate signs as ours cannot live without love for long. The problem is, as already wisely pointed out, that you cannot order it with your dinner to take (shame, really: it would make things so much easier  :smt003 ).

So, since love will come when the time is ripe and no sooner, all I can tell you is what I used to do when I felt very lonely (alright... I still do it sometimes  :smt005 ) and that is... use my imagination! I fall asleep making up stories about the ideal mate and how it would feel to be together. It is specially soothing to have a good conversation with that person in your mind (of course, they are unfailingly understanding) and/or have them caress your hair as you fall gently asleep (they never complain that it is your turn to comb their hair!)  :smt015

Yes, I know you can imagine more interesting things: I am not that naive! And specially at 18 and choked full of hormones

 In fact, I was making the point that there are infinite alternatives for our imagination: you should try some!  :smt002

There is another point to all this: making sure you are familiar with the kind of person you are looking for. By imagining you go through all sorts of situations together, you focus on your expectations for a partner and sort of project your ideal to the universe... and hopefully have the universe answer back. I know this works for other things, like job searching, house hunting, etc: the only way to get what you want is first making sure you know what it is.

Best of luck in finding the right one and in idling the time meanwhile...  :smt060

WhoseLineBabygirl · Post by **WhoseLineBabygirl** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:16 am

*big huggles* let love find you, when your least expecting it someone will enter your life and you will know they are the one, just be patient  :)

Fate7523 · Post by **Fate7523** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:50 am

Wow thanks so much for the advice guys!

I understand that thinking too much about love is just going to make matters worse, and I will try from now on not to think about it, even when I see couples around me having a good time.

I have tried imagining and visualizing the ideal girl, and to tell you the truth, it does help me a lot and sometimes get that tingly feeling of happiness inside, but I can't always live in the world of imagination.

And I did notice that the things I desire always appears when I least expect it to, when I'm not paying attention. And if I keep thinking about it and wanting it, it'd have the opposite effect and get farther away.

The only thing I fear right now is that the ideal person might never come into my life. Because high school is usually the time when love is most "pure". It doesn't focus on a person's wealth, or any of these material things.

karlenespellman · Post by **karlenespellman** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:54 am

Hi fate,

Your 18 and have no life expieience, no offense met.

Grandpa Rhutto, Dhav, pirbid, and Pete,(come slap us all), are all very right.

If you have read any of my stuff, (4 ex's-4 teens), issues with life, the only thing I can always fall back on, is the love for myself.

I am in a way in the situation you are, I don't belive in love. Haven't for years. Now I am deeply in love with a man that I shouldn't be. I put the ball in his court. I know what I want, he has to figure it out. I just wish he was with me every night, ('cuz I need him).

This is his issue, not a childhood one. He tried that, a good pick-up line.

Stay strong for yourself. Do a lot of meditation.
You will find the right answere.

lots of love to you.

Karlene

WhoseLineBabygirl · Post by **WhoseLineBabygirl** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 3:14 am

The only thing I fear right now is that the ideal person might never come into my life. Because high school is usually the time when love is most "pure". It doesn't focus on a person's wealth, or any of these material things.

not always, i didnt meet my current bf in high school and our love is pure. dont assume your gonna be with the love of your life through high school because it sometimes does not always work like that

ladybloodmoon · Post by **ladybloodmoon** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 4:13 am

i agree with everything said here and would like to add that whoseline is right not everyone falls in love in highschool and those that do don't always make it (i know from personal experices). and your young well so am i for that matter we still have lots to learn about life listen to the older ones. but i would like to say have fun now cuz you never know what could happen and when the times right like the others have said you'll find the right one for you. heres a hug for you

soul_flower · Post by **soul_flower** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 7:39 am

I agree with everyone else....I think its important to focus on you and your education.....This is a time when you're growing into who you are.....Its good to keep the dream alive about what you want but dont let it fog your mind up to much.......Maybe find a hobby or something you enjoy that doesnt involve you thinking about love....Love will find you when you least expect it......So try to focus on your current situation,be happy,have fun and be 18 because you cant get back years.....Take it easy and do what you have to do.

Heres some *huggles* and my love going to you.

Tamara :o)

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