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Ani · Post by **Ani** » Sun Mar 30, 2008 9:21 pm

I feel really down at the moment. I dont know how many heartbreaks do I still have to go through till I find my trou love.. if theres one for me at all?
I met my first love when I was 18. this relationship lasted 5 years, I was never truly happy during all those years but being stupid I held on to it all the same... till he dumped me in a rather hurtful and humiliating way - all of a sudden he got married.

it took me two years to get over the heartache. then this other guy turned up. everything went wonderful and I thought I finally met the man that was truly meant for me, there was just one problem - Im Georgian and he was American, he was a navy corpsman temporarily stationed in my country. we did get very close and when he went back home our relationship continued, he was planning on coming back here and marrying me, he kept telling me he missed me "so much that it hurt" and that he couldnt get me out of his head and his heart. there came a change last october, he suddenly wrote in his blog he was going to be sent to Iraq for 1 year. I tried to talk to him but he avoided me in every possible way, he didnt reply to my emails and messages, he was not picking up the phone when I was calling him, then he finally texted me "its not gonna work" and stopped keeping in touch. then in January I wrote him again, asking him to explain what was wrong. he replyed hi DID MISS ME, but he respected me enough to ask me not to wait on him coz he was in Iraq as he had said and he didnt know when he would ever be able to make it back to Georgia. I told him I was ready to wait. then he disappeared again.

yesterday I went to his myspace page, just to check when he last logged in and what I saw there came as a shock: I learned I was lied to all the way, he never went to Iraq, I found out he cheated on me exactly like my ex did. his relationship status is changed to "married", he has posted photos of his happy family life, and what totally "killed" me - he removed me from his top friends and placed his wifes photo where once was mine LMAOOOO!!! I just dont know what to think. isnt such behaviour a bit ridiculous of a 34 year old man? I cant understand why he had play this cheap game with me instead of simply telling me the truth? if he had no feelings for me anymore, what stopped  him from telling me so? is that so hard to be honest? I swear I would have understood. Im a human being too and I know such things happen. yeah, it would have hurt anyway, but I would appreciate his honesty and I would still respect him as a person, I would even want him as a friend...

what hurts me the most, he knew how my ex had treated me and he had promised me many times he would never do the same to me. well, he did!
I cant even try to start explaining what a disgusting feeling it is being let down by someone you believed was so special. Im very deeply hurt at the moment and I`ve no idea how to trust men again. my friends tell me the problem with me is that I keep going for the wrong type of guys - obviously thats true, but the thing is those wrong guys never seem to be wrong at the begining! my bf was so sweet and kind and caring I would have never imagined he would turn out to be such a shallow liar.

Im sorry I went into so many useless details, theres such a turmoil in my head right now, its very hard for me to concentrate. thanks everyone who took time to read this. your hugs would be so much appreciated :((

dhav · Post by **dhav** » Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:20 pm

Ani,

That's really not fair to you.Well it kinda happened to me too and twice in the past.They are just cowards.Maybe you should learn a lesson from it that "Don't trust anyone so easily and go into a relationship"Wait and learn about the person's true intention first.
I would say big hugs to you and healing as well.With time you will learn to trust again but in a different way.and hope the next one will be the true Love.

Molissa · Post by **Molissa** » Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:37 pm

oh, Ani.  I'm so sorry for your hurt.  and his cowardice.  I hope you find some peace,  and lots of love.  The kind of love you deserve.
hugs.

karlenespellman · Post by **karlenespellman** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:00 am

Here is a HUGE HHHUUUGGG, positive energy and tons of LOVE to you, Ani.

You are truley a very wonderful, positive person. That's why these negative men did it the way they did. They don't have enough self confidence to be honest.

Feel the pain and grieve. Then look into yourself for what YOU expect out of a relationship. You will always trust people, because that is the loving person you are.

These two were just stepping stones on your path to true love. Take all the good and treasure it, take all the bad and learn from it. But always stay true to yourself. You are the only one who can make you who you are. You have no control over others, so don't try.

I know this, I have been married and divorced 4 times. I am still looking for my true love, but I am in control, not them. I have learned a lot and I take this into my furture with open eyes(not closed) anymore.

Another HUGE HUG to you.

LOts of love, Karlene

soul_flower · Post by **soul_flower** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:46 am

Ani heres some *huggles* my love and healing energy going to you.....I do not understand why its always the good people that get hurt and the naughty people run along all happy etc......I dont like liars or cheaters,i can not stand being around people like that....Lucky you found this out sooner rather than later because to spend another year or so with such dishonest people would be a waste of your special love,i feel anyway.......I know everyone says this to you,but you will trust again,when you heal and are ready.....You will find that special man that treats you like you deserve,you will.......These men are just road blocks for you to learn and get stronger.....In time im sure they will learn what they're doing is nasty and playing with peoples hearts is so wrong in many ways........Geez i should really take my own advice :o(

I hope your mood picks up soon and you feel better....Mr Right is out there looking for you aswell and one fine day you will bump into him.......

Heres another *huggle*

Tamara :o)

Ani · Post by **Ani** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:59 am

dhav, Molissa, Karlene and Tamara, thank you so much for your support and the hugs. thats right, every heartbreak is an experience, from which we have to learn something. I have learned how it feels to be betrayed so I wont do this to anyone else. besides I believe everything happens for a reason.
Anyway, I got some sort of closure and I feel better now. the last 6 months I spent in uncertainty, not knowing where he was, how he was and how he felt about me. Ive been going through a depression that affected my health. right now I find it very hard to get up and keep moving, but I know time heals.
thank you all, big hugs to you from me as well.

Pravin Kumar · Post by **Pravin Kumar** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:18 am

Dear Ani,

A Huge Lion's Hugs to you. I know how you must feel but this happens to almost everyone. Even to boys. These are life's experiences so that you may become stronger in future. A Innocent Child like you is always protected by HIM. Those who cheat have to pay for it or at least they should be genuinely sorry and have a good reason to leave you and tell you so. Anyway that is life and you should move on. Hopefully you will come across a gem of a boy in your life who will make you very happy.

My Best wishes to you.

Pravin Kumar

P.S. There is a story of Lion's Hugs. One Woman rescued a badly wounded Lion in the jungles of South Africa. She cared and nursed the Lion and got him admitted to a Veternary Hospital and brought him back to normacly. This Lion was later deposited in a cage and when this lady went to meet the Lion next, The Lion looked up at her with grateful eyes. The lady asked the Lion to Hug her and the Lion, which had huge paws, got up on his two hind legs and hugged the lady from behind the bars, first to her right and then to her left.

soul_flower · Post by **soul_flower** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:36 am

Oh Ani.......Time does heal but it isnt easy,as we all know....For me,im starting to sink back into my depression and i hate it....I find it hard to think happy and positive.....Im so mixed up about everything that i cant even see clearly......I hate myself for feeling this way about my ex........Just know we are here for you with lots of support......You will feel lots better in time and good things come to those who wait.....Go with the flow,take it easy on yourself and treat yourself to something special....

Tamara xx

Psychic Chef · Post by **Psychic Chef** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:10 pm

Hi Ani
Firstly sorry that once again that you sucumbed to the dealings of a pretator.

We males are hunters by nature and analitical in our processes. Therefore we dont emotionalize our actions or think of the outcome hurting. others

.Its our strength and our downfall.(Yes we suck)
Thats not an excuse, just an observation.
Now i know there is someone out there for you and you will find that there are some males you can trust.
A huge hug from me and if you ever need to vent or i can help at all just yell

. i will always be upfront and honest with you.

Cheers Pete

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 3:22 pm

sweetie i am so sorry that u are hurting...i know its hard but be strong he wasnt worth it...he didnt deserve u anyway u are a truly wonderful person the right man will come along just stay positive here is a huge hug for u...im sending u some healing and positive energy...and if u ever need someone to talk to im here for u pm me..much love and huggies

Pravin Kumar · Post by **Pravin Kumar** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 3:30 pm

Dear Ani,

By the number of responses you can see how popular and loved you are. Now just come across the following:

Don't be sad for being without someone who is happy being without you.

Pravin Kumar

tourbi · Post by **tourbi** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 4:21 pm

Be happy that you are not with a person like that.  You deserve a truly wonderful guy who is honest.  Please don't feel badly about yourself.  You did nothing wrong.  He was embarrassed, he was not able to be honest.  He has the problems. The Gods took good care of you, be grateful to them that you aren't stuck with this person.
You really really deserve to have a great guy who is honest and values you.  Some guy with integrity and ethics.  
Sit down and write down the qualities of person you want, be careful, be specific.  Honest, integrity, loving, ethical, single, able to be loved, sharing, caring, wanting to make your relationship work, etc etc.  Be sure and think about all the qualities that are important to you.  Then one day, when you are ready, have a chat with the Universe and go somewhere where you can scream out your list to the Universe, THIS IS WHAT I WANT.............. read the list loudly, then thank the Gods deeply for listening and responding to your desires.  
Then let it go.  Know that a man with these qualities is on his way to you.
Just be grateful it isn't this guy you told us about.  He is not what you deserve.  Be sure and have on the list, wants to be married in a committed relationship.  

I know it hurts.  Don't put yourself down for his rudeness.  You didn't do anything wrong.  You are a neat lady who absolutely deserves your own guy who is devoted to you!!!

karlenespellman · Post by **karlenespellman** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 4:21 pm

Pravin, once again your amazing.

Ani and Tamara, I fight depression a lot. The days that I'm feeling more down,(I want you both to do this now), go look at Dhav's picture at the top of this thread.

It works. Then when your feeling better go back to it and put the positive back in.

I use this picture a lot.

Love to you all
Karlene

Ani · Post by **Ani** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 7:48 pm

Dhav, Mollisa, Tamara, Karlene, Psychic Chef, Taraprincess, Pravin Kumar, Tourbi,

you are wonderful, amazing people, you make this place very very special. you`ve helped me a lot, thank you so much for being you! at the moment Im in the stage where my heart is still longing for him but my head has already cooled down, and thanks God Ive got enough brains to listen to my head not my heart.

Psychic Chef thanks, your a sweety as always, I agree with what u say, men dont always think of the emotional side of the things but when someone ends up being hurt as a result of their actions, they should have the guts to face the problem and not run away from it, though I dont think its strictly a gender issue, there are many women like that too, so we do suck sometimes too lol. your a great guy and if you were single I would date you straightaway, but from ur posts I know how much you love your wife, shes very lucky to have u

huge hugs to u in return!

Pravin Kumar, I loved your story, I have two mini lions at home (cats that is), and Im hugging them up right now

) thanks for your kind words, I will move on, its just a matter of time.

Tourbi - thank you. u r right, I was lucky to get rid of a person like him, he does have a huge problem - he has no self-respect. he only humiliated himself by being so mean to me. though deep in my heart I know he feels guilty for what he`s done, but he`s not a man enough to admit it.
on a side note, I have a weird feeling he will still play some role in my life, I swear I dont want him back and I wont take him back even if he falls on knees and begs, but I just cant get rid of this feeling.

Tamara -Im sorry hon u r going through hard times too, big big hug from me to you in return. try to start getting him out of your heart like Im going to do, get rid of everything that reminds u of him, delete his photos, delete his messages, his number from ur phone..there are other worthy guys out there, we will definitely meet our special ones someday

Taraprinces - thank you, many many hugs to you too. I`ll pm you, if its ok.

Karlene - thanks again,  Dhav`s picture is wonderful, thanks for your advice.  

love u all!
Ani xxx

karlenespellman · Post by **karlenespellman** » Tue Apr 01, 2008 3:02 am

Ani.
He will always be a part of your life, you already let him in. Use him to your benifit. I have ex's that are still very close and my "leaning poles". Take this as a good thing and keep him where you "need" him, not where you want him.

You are definately on the right path without our help!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But we are here for you.

Follow you intuitions. That is all you truley have.

Lots of love to you.
Karlene

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