Dealing with grief

Here is the place to share your life's problems and questions, and to offer you possible answers and real, practical solutions. The best place on the internet for all members to exchange general advice, healing and support, and to help each other to get through at least to the next day. No readings will be given on this board.

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clover73
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Dealing with grief

Post by clover73 » Mon Mar 31, 2008 7:17 pm

In the past year, I have lost 2 cousins, 1 uncle and a VERY close friend.  The only one I got to say good bye to was my uncle.  The 2 cousins died unexpectedly and quickly.  

The problem I'm having is with my friend who passed away.  I didn't find out that he was sick until 5 months after he was in the hospital.  By that time, he was unresponsive and in a coma.  I chose not to go visit him because I didn't want to see him that way.  I wanted to remember him for who he was before he got sick.  I know I made the right choice by not going to see him however, I miss him very much.  There were some "unresolved" issues.  There were things I never got the chance to tell him.  Now I have major regrets about it and I'm trying to figure out how to deal with it.  I know that he is happy where he is now and he doesn't care about what happened in the past but I'm still here and it bothers me.
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tourbi
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Post by tourbi » Mon Mar 31, 2008 7:26 pm

I'm sorry for all your losses.  
Forgive yourself.  
Then write him a long letter, mail it to him C/0 of the Universe and mail it.  Trust he will get the letter.  
Then just be open to his message in return.

Be gentle with yourself.  Image
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clover73
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Post by clover73 » Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:02 pm

That is very good advice.  Thank You
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WhoseLineBabygirl
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Post by WhoseLineBabygirl » Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:14 pm

he knows you still love him and he'll most likely visit you in some dreams on occasion, he doesnt blame you for anything. *huggles*
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dhav
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Post by dhav » Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:24 pm

Lots of Hugs to you.Tourbi and whoselinebaby said right.Your uncle would be always beside you.If you got anything to tell him just send hima message like Tourbi said or by any other means.I am sure you already did it.Hehe.

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clover73
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Post by clover73 » Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:28 pm

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice.  I just miss my friend so much and wish that it wouldn't have ended the way that it did.  But I know that everything happens for a reason and it all works out.
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karlenespellman
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Post by karlenespellman » Tue Apr 01, 2008 3:15 am

Hi Clover,
All before me have the best advice.
Do what they say.


From me, They all know how much they meant to you, and you to them.

You didn't meantioned your cousins. Very sorry for them. I am assuming that your issues have never been issues with them. Very good for you all.

With your friend, I have done the same thing. I want to remember them how they were. I knew they would never hold it against me, because they would not have either.

You should never have regrets. You live and learn from your expieriences. If you have regrets, you didn't learn.  he knows where you are coming from, and he feels the same.
You both have another time to fix this. Don't dweal on it, time will heal. Even though you are not together now,, you will be.

He says to love yourself and live life to the fullest. He is doing the same where he is. He is waiting for you like you are waiting for him.

A HUGE HHHUUUUGGG, positive energy and lots of love to you both.

Karlene
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soul_flower
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Post by soul_flower » Tue Apr 01, 2008 6:19 am

Im sorry to hear that.....Your friend has forgiven you for whatever it is you feel badly about....You need to forgive yourself also,set yourself free....When we move on to the other side all is forgiven and filled with love....Talk and pray,your friend will hear you....Heres some *huggles* and my love going to you.


Tamara :o)
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clover73
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Thank you

Post by clover73 » Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:41 am

Once again I'm so greatful.  Not only because I found this wonderful website but, because of all the positive and loving people I've come into contact with today.  All your caring words and positive suggestions have filled me with an overwhelming sense of peace that I never thought I would be able to obtain.  I will sleep well tonight knowing that I still have him around me.  I'll continue to talk to him and pray that he will show me a sign or communicate with me in his own little way.

Thank you again and blessings to all
Kimberly
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taraprincess
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Post by taraprincess » Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:38 pm

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies :smt007
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clover73
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Post by clover73 » Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:39 am

I just got a call from my Mom.  She told me that another one of our family friends died.  They just had his funeral on Friday but, I missed it because we just found out tonight.  Since my Mom has been dealing with the death of my Cousin's wife 3 weeks ago, she hasn't been home that much so she missed the phone call about the funeral last week.  This is really crazy now.  That makes 5 people that have died in the last 13 months.  (2 Cousins, 1 Uncle, my ex-boyfriend and 2 friends.)  What is up with this??  I don't think I have ever even heard of anything like this before.  I've heard people say that deaths happen in 3's but this is weird and sad.

K
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karlenespellman
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Post by karlenespellman » Thu Apr 03, 2008 4:48 pm

Hi Kim,

Sorry to hear this. I know it's weird.
In 1992 I had 2 Grandmothers, 1 Grandfather, my father, and 2 friends die. And then none until my 3 friends this year.

A HUGE HHHUUUGGG, positive energy to you and your families.

Lots of love
Karlene
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clover73
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Post by clover73 » Thu Apr 03, 2008 5:24 pm

I was starting to freak out a little bit last night.  I was telling my Fiance to be careful everytime he left the house or went outside to do something.  haha.  I feel a lot better today though.  I know when it's your time to go there's a reason.  I know they are all in a much better place than we are.  

I read what you said about my friend to my Mom last night too.  She knew my ex boyfriend and she said that you were right on about him too.  

Also, I'm sorry to hear that you lost 3 friends this year.  Prayers and hugs to you and them.  

Kimberly
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karlenespellman
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Post by karlenespellman » Fri Apr 04, 2008 2:25 am

Thanks kim,

I really hoped that I helped.

I am glad your mom agrees.

I am always here for you.

Let up on the Fiance, you are right, only time will tell.

Live life to the Fullest, you actually know what that means.

lots of love to you.
Karlene
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