was this a premonition? I'm really hurt and freaked out.

Zephyr · Post by **Zephyr** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 1:11 am

Ive been trying to find a good message board for ages finally last week after stumbling across this one and lurking for a day I signed up. I feel a bit funny posting my probs, but I can't understand what happened?!

All my life I've 'felt' things, dreamt things, with alot of my friends or people I get close to its almost as though my gut plays a movie out before me, sometimes even as far as making me physically ill if the warning really has to get through. I'm having trouble explaining how this is exactly, but maybe someone here will understand what I mean
This isn't all the time though, it comes and goes, sometimes for months on end and during those months when its gone I literally feel 'dead' but then out of the blue something big will happen and there is alot of confusion when it does as I feel I'm going insane or just imagined it.

Anyways I been with my partner for a few months now and because of some stuff in my life I screwed up pretty bad drinking over new years and managed to fall pregnant to him because I didn't take precautionary measures, at that time I didn't really care......Thats a total different story altogether.
So I don't believe in abortion at all, I decided I'd go through with the pregnancy, I'm now 14 weeks pregnant. Since the day I met him I got no 'gut feeling' nothing every time hes around I really do feel spiritually dead hardly any dreams, when I usually dream every night and relied on my dreams to help me through situations.....No energy round him, the air is just I guess what it would be like to be normal??? This has been bugging me for months now.

The last 3 weeks I've been really emotional which is to be expected during pregnancy, I've been very wary of him and where he goes and I never truly believe him when he says work finished late.
I'm talking 3 hours late!!! not an hour.
Yesterday I was driving in my car on the way home, when I saw my other car 2 cars ahead of me,  and I swear it was my car, same make same model, the guy driving looked exactly like my partner, there was a girl with long dark hair in the front seat and a blonde girl in the back seat. I was shocked cos it was 3 in the afternoon and I couldn't understand why he wouldn't be at work and why he had girls in his car with him.

my emotions totally took over, I sped up and maybe drove a bit erratic as I was in such a panic, I just wanted him to see me so he knew I knew. the car then sped up and turned off, I turned off again behind it and it sped up to the next turn off and as it was turning I drove past and saw that it was not him in the car at all it was old man, and there weren't even 3 people in the car! just him and a little old lady in the front, no blonde in the back nothing. I honestly belived it was him, I was 100% certain it was him but then it wasn't him when I drove past.
What the hell happened?
I was so upset with myself, I was shaking that is how much this affected me, I really honestly thought I had lost it completely.

When he came home last night I told him all about what happened and told him I'm sorry for my behaviour the past few weeks and that maybe I was having some sort of pregnancy psychosis or something.

Ten minutes after I told him he showered, and told me he was going out to meet his step dad who was in town and that he'd be back in 1 to 2 hours.
he took my car and after 2 hours I txt him asking when he'll be back, he replied that he'll be another hour. I txt after an hour this was 9:30pm he txt saying he'll be another few hours. I tried to ring him but he ignored my first call, then switched his phone off after I rang back the second time.
Finally at 1am I txt him and got a reply, he said he was too drunk to drive home and that he was at his mates place. but he'd walk home soon. I tried phoning all night but my calls were unanswered, my txts unanswered, Its now the afternoon hes been gone the whole night and whole morning and I have not heard anything since 1am.
I've asked him to bring my car home everything but hes still not here.
I found his phonebook and txt his step dad and asked him what time my partner left him last night.
He replied saying he had not seen my partner since november last year, I asked him if my partner is known to do these sorts of things and his step father replied that my partner lies about everything.

So why would he lie about where he was going? and why hasn't he come home, the only explanation I can think of is what I said to him about the people in the car yesterday, maybe I freaked him out cos he is seeing someone else? maybe he isn't coming home at all? I don't know.

So today I was txting my mate whose friend's little sister has been going out with this guy with the same name, same age, shaved head, same colour car as mine. This guy she has been seeing has been seeing her for 3 weeks and she has been really wary of him cos he wont tell her where he lives or even his last name.
His name is Zion, its a very uncommon name in my town and where I'm from isn't that big a place. I can say without a doubt there will not be another Zion his age in my town with the same description, car etc.
This girl has gone funny and wont give anymore info on this guys shes been seeing so I can find out if its him or not......her sister says its no use she would believe him over me anyways even though I have never met this girl.

This girl has aparantly looks like the girl I saw in the car yesterday
What I can't work out is, Was my head trying to tell me something by showing me something so obvious because some random car looking like mine was driving down the road on my way home?
Or was it really him but my mind changed the scene completely and refused to see him in that car?

I am so confused, he still isn't home and I really really don't know what to do. Who knows this might just be all a massive conincedence and he really is a nice guy like I thought but something tells me its not each hour passing is just more torture, i don't wanna go out in case he comes home. I wanna go out cos I dont wanna sit waiting at home uggggh

I really do hope this is the ramblings of a crazy lady.....kinda lol

Sorry this was so long, I just couldn't really shorten it.

Molissa · Post by **Molissa** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 1:34 am

sweetie, I have no advice but I can tell you are in a bad place right now.  Try to be calm (easy to say I know, and hard to achieve), but you need to take care of yourself physically as well as emotionally.
Someone will come along who is wiser than I on premonitions and such.
meanwhile, sending you big hugs to help you hold on.

Zephyr · Post by **Zephyr** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 2:31 am

thanks, yeah I know, hes still not home and ignoring my calls/txts.

beleever · Post by **beleever** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 3:51 am

Huge Hugs to you Zephyr. This is a most difficult time for you but I don't believe you are suffering any kind of pregnancy psychosis. One thing that is for certain is that your partner has a lot of questions to answer.

dhav · Post by **dhav** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 4:42 am

HI Zephyr,

A huge hug to you.I pray that you get out of this mess very soon.You already know the answer of what you should do.Listen to your heart what it says to you.You just don't want to take appropriate action regarding that mainly because of the baby coming.
1. talk to your boyfriend when he gets back.Explain to him your problem and about his behavior to you.Talk about it.
2.Don't let the pregnancy come into the way of your decision.Think independently if you should be ending the relationship or not.
3.Find yourself a friend or someone from your family who would care for you and support you.See a counsellor to help you manage things as it won't be so easy in the coming months.You should be really strong for you and the baby.

There are better things that will come into your life at some time.Life is like that,ups and down.With the baby coming you will have much responsibility but you will also enjoy the motherhood bliss which i am sure will be the most happiest moments for you.

Hope you come up with the right decision wisely.

dhav

Zephyr · Post by **Zephyr** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:30 am

thanks everyone:) still havn't heard anything but that just makes things slightly easier for me so........uggh I'm trying to stay calm. keeping myself busy

jlhansl · Post by **jlhansl** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 5:48 am

Dhav have said most of what I want to say.

The thing is, it's important to trust your soulmate. Talk with him calmly and decide what to do next. Be prepared for either good or bad result, but keep in mind that life goes on.

karlenespellman · Post by **karlenespellman** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:48 am

A HUGE HHHUUUGGG, positive energy and love to you Zepher.

Karlene

Zephyr · Post by **Zephyr** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 12:54 pm

yeah I'd have trouble trusting him now. i don't even think I want him back at this point, theres not really much he could say to make things ok.
A one off fling with someone is completely different to having an actual 2nd girlfriend in another town near here. Even more so cos he has a baby on the way.
I could understand freaking out about being a dad or something and getting drunk one night and making 1 mistake and trying to make things right after, but this is something he kept going on behind my back and lying constantly about trying to keep it from me and probably would of kept from me had I not of found out.
The only thing I can't get past is he's not only put my health/life at risk but my unborn childs too. and I don't even know if thats the only person, there may be other occasions also. I don't think I could go back to that. Its hard to accept cos I'm such a forgiving person, but he's gotta know that I wont let him treat me like that. If he wants me and the baby then hes gotta work hard before I take him back and it'll be a long time before I trusted him again. But honestly I don't think he would make the effort. Friends of mine have seen him over the weekend not knowing what has gone on and hes apparantly been having a good old time, looks happy as, even said I'm doing good and that I was at home when people asked about me and how I was. but nevermind, I'm staying positive.....since hes gone a few good things have happened so far. May have a new house, I find out in may, got offered a job and house by a friend of mine up north also today my ex who I'm currently having a custordy battle with actually talked to me for the first time in months and it seems as though we may be able to make some sort of comprimise outside of court so I can move towns and be able to take this job if I get it

I had a big clean up in my house got rid of all the crap I don't need and I feel really great suprisingly.

Thanks all of ya

hopefully things get better from here on in

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Mon Apr 07, 2008 3:15 pm

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies

Psychicgaijin · Post by **Psychicgaijin** » Tue Apr 08, 2008 11:04 pm

Hi,

You need to think of your own financial well being.

If you do not believe in abortion and you cannot raise the baby alone then immediately consider and contact the adoption people. Many couples would love a baby and I think they would help you out financially to have the baby.

Develope your intuition and strength from what is offered here. It will help you balance and handle life well.

Jim

Zephyr · Post by **Zephyr** » Wed Apr 09, 2008 12:21 am

thanks, I've been really thinking hard about what I'm going to do. I'm not entirely sure yet but thankyou

Psychicgaijin · Post by **Psychicgaijin** » Wed Apr 09, 2008 3:58 am

It will be okay. You have all of use! You have the resources of this forum and the whole site. You have the power of the mystic forces and energy at your disposal.

This can be a big turning point in your life.

Hugs,
Jim

Mystic Board

was this a premonition? I'm really hurt and freaked out.

was this a premonition? I'm really hurt and freaked out.

Hello

Who is online