"So I've been lurking for a while, but just signed up today. I follow Western astrology, but am still somewhat learning, despite many years of interest. I'm a cancer woman and my boyfriend of almost three years is a Scorpio.
We had a very healthy sex life up until he left for a year for Japan where he taught English. We were together for 3 months and continued to stay together while he was there. I even visited him for a couple of weeks. When he got back, we moved in with each other and our sex life was still pretty good. Slowly, though, it has started to diminish to the point where it happened only once a month for the last few months. We bickered about how I wasn't that independent and focused too much on "us" rather than "me" which I know doesn't turn on scorpios. I've been battling with depression all my life and I have finally started to do something about it. My new year's resolution was to be more independent, exercise more, feel more sexy, and focus more on me. I made this decision for me. Of course, this has since come too late and my scorpio moves out tomorrow. I haven't seen him in 2 and a half weeks now and he hardly talks to me. I, unfortunately, took this as a point that he didn't want to talk to me about our relationship so I decided to move on. (I cried at first, and he knew it. :/)
Last Saturday I had his brother, his brother's best friend, my best friend, and her friend over at our/my apartment. When my boyfriend got back home from Japan, he expressed concern about his brother having interest in me. I have never seen his brother act thusly. I love his brother like I love my brothers and that's how I see him.
I posted a blurb about my Saturday night and my boyfriend freaked out, saying that he was jealous that he was over and that if I was in his shoes, how jealous I would be if i saw pics of him dancing and partying with other 'chicks'. well, i was never in a picture with his brother nor were there any dancing going on. in fact, the only reason why his brother came over was because of my best friend's friend.
so now i'm not quite sure what to do. of course, i'm very calm about tomorrow, supportive about it, and am giving him space. i will continue to be doing this, but do you think there's any chance of me getting him back? His reasons for moving out was his stress with me and his stress at school. He is a first year law student-boot camp, basically-and is 28 years old.
Is there anything else I can do? He won't answer me when I question him about our relationship. He deleted me off his myspace, yet it says he's still in a relationship. He didn't want to see any updates of me with other guys, he said. And I know there's no other woman; there's no way he'd be able to handle THAT stress right now, lol.
I'm just tired. I am moving on with my life, and am not holding back on hanging out with my guy friends. And I am willing to be patient and wait for him. I never meant for him to get jealous; truth be told, I had absolutely no idea that he'd be jealous over his brother coming over. I had even forgotten about that bit before... "
First of all, I wanted to thank you guys all so much for your hugs. I took everything everyone said to heart and decided to let things be and attempt to move on with my life without him. That attempt turned into a head-on change.
I started working out, lost weight, gained sooo much confidence, believed in myself, decided what I wanted to do with my life after I graduate in June (I've started applying to work on cruise ships; with children, of course! ), and have realized just how special I am, intelligent, *very* independent, and even pretty. And I feel wonderful! The best that I have ever felt before in my life. Gradually, my ex and I have talked and straightened things out leading up to the breakup. HUGE miscommunication, as many many relationships have, but are basically evened out. And it was great at first. We even flirted for a bit. I've gone out on dates with other guys since then but am in no way ready (or able) to be in a new relationship. Firstly I have too much going on with school to start something new and secondly I'm just not ready. Wounds are still fresh, lol. But the ex and I have talked off and on. We came to the conclusion (whether healthy or not) to have sex and just that. No strings attached. We have a shared fetish that's basically on par with each other (rare, yes, which is why we decided to do it). At first it was just that; sex and then depart. And even though in hindsight I realize that it was too soon for me, what was done is done. But over the weeks as the sex became a little more frequent, I started staying over longer and longer at his place after each time (to watch a hockey game, then a UFC fight, and then to just basically hang out). I know that Scorpios like to play games, like to toy and such, but I'm not really sure where we stand. I'm at that damn threshold on trying to figure out if I want to say that I want to try to work things out that couldn't be done before because of the depression medication I was on (and have since changed-for the better!) and see where it goes. But on the other hand, I don't think I'll be accepted into his family (and vice versa) like I was before because of the misunderstandings that he told them about-and, as I'm sure you all know, mothers are protective over their sons and don't tend to take "whoops my mistake" as an answer.
Also, last weekend I hung out with a bunch of friends that he went to university with that he doesn't keep THAT much in touch with anymore, and ended up being one of a few people to stay over at someone's else; but I was the only girl. He got upset at the guys because of the you're-supposed-to-let-the-guy-know-you-slept-in-the-same-house-as-your-ex bit. I'm sure that's natural (as was the deal with his brother...).
He's been both supportive of me dating again and, at the same time, unsupportive. He tells me that "XX is shady" and that I "need to be careful" but also says that he doesn't have a right or a place to hold me back from going out with other guys. Of course he doesn't want me to, but whether it's because he wants me back and is too proud to say it or if it's just the natural jealous part of him making him feel that way. Since I've gone out with these other guys, have made many appearances to the bar and university crowd alike, I miss him more and more and realize just how lucky both of us were to have each other. Yes, I know that he's extremely stressed out with being a first-year law student, and that my depression was definitely the last toll, but I can say that I have changed and that I am continuing to change for the better. What ultimately lead to the breakup was his high stress and my unstableness. Although I know 3 months isn't that long, I am very proud of myself at the changes I have made in me (for *me,* never anyone else) and I realize just how incredibly strong I am.
But basically...I need some input... I've never been in this situation before and I don't know how to deal with it. My heart tells me to just come out and let him know what I'm feeling and see if he feels the same and also wants to see where we can go, but the logic in me tells me not to, and just wait for him to 'make a move (if there ever is one)' and that he will either be too proud to say he wants to try again or if he really doesn't feel the same way as I do.
Has anyone been in a similar situation before? I really appreciate you guys. You're all wonderful and you played a roll in getting my butt into gear.
unless its a beer or a remote control 
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