Newbie, beyond stress and my first posting

[mystiqueofindy]

Hi, I am new to this site, but glad I discovered it.  I am 51, disabled and simply struggling. I seem to find every hole to fall into life offers. Presently I am battling family. My Mother passed away in Dec and our relationship was rocky, stormy and extremely painful. Need I say she loved my oldest sister who used her financially, robbing her and sneakily gained guardianship over her. She had stolen thousands  in the 6 digit figures from my Mother prior to her gaining guardianship.

I tried unsuccessfully to thwart her attempts to further damage Mom's finances. My Uncle ended up with the guardianship..I did not take it because I knew Mom would have fought me tooth and nail. Odd how I "knew" at the end she would ultimately reach out to me for help. My Uncle gave the guardianship up in a year. Oddly enough he wanted me to continue her cycle of abuse, but bailed out himself. I had to ask him "would you tell a person to continue going back into a situation that was physically and mentally abusing them?"...he replied:" no..., so I then said then how can you tell me to stay in b.o.n.d.a.g.e. to someone who hates me so..yet you yourself bailed out when you discovered the truth?

He loved his sister but had no idea the ugliness that she carried within. He soon found out who she really was.  Bottom line..I was the abused daughter emotionally and physically. I still carry those wounds tho I have tried several times to heal and move on. I have learned it takes a few seconds to speak words that can maim , destroy and kill a persons spirit for life....thus is the state I am in presently. My Sister, in the meantime got back in and took guardianship unbeknownst to the rest of the family. You see Mom was so difficult no one wanted to step forth and handle her..less known her affairs. She had Alzeheimers and coupling that with her negativity magnified dealing with her period on all fronts. The courts KNEW my Sister had stolen funds..but this all occurred before guardianship...so nothing was done. My Mother did not want to prosecute her... and tho I disagreed, I understood her battle with doing that to her daughter.  Even tho the Probate court knew of my sisters prior thievery, they went ahead at the end of my Uncles resigning of guardianship and granted her that position.

Now that was like leaving an alcoholic to guard the liquor store. Need I say she really cleaned everything out. She is so manipulative that even tho the extended family KNEW she was a monster..they were relieved someone was helping my Mother. I wanted the courts to assign and advocate..that way, ONLY what Mom needed would have been done.

I knew I could not handle the job...mainly due to the emotional trauma she already had me in for all of my 51 years. In my own way I loved her..but was always fearful of her. She used her money to weld over us...but when I became disabled, I only ask for help once..and that was for a meager $20-- which was refused..but the sister stole over $200,000. Go figure..and not a word was said..tho Mom was hurt.

My Mother spent the bulk of her life lying on me. A year before she died she finally apologized... I FINALLY realized at that moment I had been freed...and also knew her resentment was not do to a thing I had done, but was anger from my birth (breech) and possibly hating the pregnancy which was unwanted" ...but her words she put out there about me, still flourished amongst family members who thought I was this monster.

At the tail end, she needed my help, but so much damage had been done and she was fearful of my Sister. I honestly felt I was not to step in spiritually... she had to walk out the ending of her life. Now that she has passed, the Sister I discovered a few weeks ago, moved funds, spent money close to a hundred thousand dollars not related to Mom's care. She was bonded through the courts and it looks as if she will still prosper in all her wicked endeavors. She even morgaged the home, for her spending was that strong.

I was the ONE child who just wanted to be loved and accepted, yet...I am the one disliked the most, because I wanted things done fairly. My Sister felt our Mother (5 kids one has passed away) was solely hers. So in turn she excluded the rest, unless she needed to used them. I know her financial havoc will be discerned. I received an annuity check and later discovered since the estate was not closed it was not even suppose to be dispensed. I am so giving I helped several people, and after all these years of struggling find myself in a deeper bondage as a result of that money. It is just a small fraction of what was due but I realized my sister did that to appease her siblings knowing she had stolen the rest. This money is enough to cause one agency to send me a letter to come and review my status. I am disabled and I have been under water for YEARS since I was attacked on my job 11 years ago by a co-worker ( I was beaten) and Yes..was never compensated for that nightmare...but now I spend everyday in pain as a result of one man's anger over losing a position on a job I did not even work with him on.  The job we worked together was his (part-time job) but my ONLY job. I was as they say at the wrong place at the wrong time. . . but it totally altered my life. So to my family I am a loser..as if I was in control of that fateful event.

I am worried about the outcome of this check on my status..which can cause everything to crumble on my end..as if I need more challenges. I guess I am just venting but my nerves are jangled and I am beyond stressed at the outcome. The funds arrived a month ago, so my rent can soar ..my Social Security can take a nasty hit and it is not even enough for me to afford that...all because I never said I received it a month ago. Why?
because I was in need of so much after all these years which I did purchase...but I MAINLY gave a lot away helping others..whats left was for a inexpensive car not even a new one... just something to get me back and forth to the Dr. However now I also discovered I need to get an attorney to  be advised on how to handle my Sister's assessment on how she spent the money. I saw her financial accountability statement and it is simply put..loaded with lies. Example: several thousand was spent on men's clothing.. for her son. Trips several...to another state her son lived in. There were other annuity accounts which have vanished and been reassigned to my sisters kids. She has tangled Mom's accounts so much even a 2 year old can see somethings wrong with her accounting. My Mother at 87 had ultrasounds for pregnancy (My sister's daughter-in-law was actually the one pregnant) My mother even had a student loan.."GIVE ME A BREAK" she only had a 2nd grade education! Another huge amount she lied on. Yet now..I am about to go through red tape ... and honestly I think the Sister did this to me in order to keep me off of her tracks..

Thursday things can unravel on my end...as if life has not frayed all around me all these years.. I guess I am just plain scared of the outcome and losing what little I have managed to hold onto..(not the remaining funds) but all I ever had. I always said my Mother loved her money like Midas counted his gold. It was always a form of her bondage over us... and even in death it is still a bondage. I'd appreciate any comments...for I am simply stressed and depressed over worrying over this all....and it's final outcome.

Mystique of Indy

[tourbi]

Oh my!! Let me welcome you to the forums.
Also sending you hugs.  
I hope everything works out for the best for you.

[dhav]

Hi mysticofindy,



I read your life history which is really painful.So much love and fairness were denied to you.I would think you should stop seeing what your sister is upto now and life your own life.When someone did soemthign wrong it will just come back to that person in multiple folds.

If you need some help from my side I can tell you always think of yoru angels and ask them to help you in hwatever you feel like.Then life will be just a miracle for you.
Do you live alone?or you got your own family and children?

You should also start thinking positively about your life.People may think you haven't achive anything but you have struggled so much in life to reach at this stage.Your mom has realised her mistake.All you got to do now is focus on yourself.Nomore your sister or nayopne else who are negative to you.

I send a great healing and light to you so that you will begin seeing light within.It is already within but it has been clouded by the past.It's time for you to see this light.

huggs to you,

dhav

[karlenespellman]

I agree with Dhav,

Find your light and love that live in you for you.  Positive thinking will bring on positive actions, it will also send negative actions away.
Not only will her neg. haunt her forever, but all of the positive love, giving, and sharing you have given others will come back to you.

Here is a HUGE HHHUUUGGG, positive energy and love to you.

Karlene

[taraprincess]

sweetie here is a huge hug...much love and huggies

[shadowrnmom]

 :smt006 You are truly blessed and loved, you just don't realize it! Sometimes it takes a lifetime of hurt to realize our potential.
Obviously you were misused by your family, unintententionaly by your Mom with Alzheimers. People with dementia need to be forgiven. If you can find it in your heart to forgive her, you will set yourself free.
Your sister, on the other hand, sounds like a MAJOR loser. Rest assured, she will get what's coming to her. Revenge is sweet.
Hang in there. You sound like a champ! You're a tough cookie. You're going to make it. Find out who your Guardian Angel is. You may be surprised about all the attributes and how well He/She is taking care of you!
I wish you peace! And all the HUUUUUUUGGGS and warmth you need!!!!