Breaking up after so many years

ammo · Post by **ammo** » Thu Dec 25, 2008 11:01 pm

I really feel like now I need some one to relate to. I've been with this guy for 6 years. Everyone always said young love like that will never last. I hate the fact that they were right. We had this crazy intense deep love that went far beyond anything I've ever known and now it's all gone. He tells me that maybe one day in the future we can be together again but once my trust is broken, that's it. It makes me so sad to know that I experienced a love so deep but now it's all gone and I'll never have that again, not in the same way at least. In a way I am to blame. I started putting my career first and pushed him away. I need to experience what it's like to be young and unattatched and make it on my own but I don't know if my plans are worth the tremendous sacrifice that we made. Trying to find myself again is taking all of the life and energy out of me. The worst part of it is that we are still living together so even if I wanted to forget him, for now I can't. I know that this man will always be a part of my life but I also know that he will never be able to give me the commitment I want. I guess I'm just destined to be in limbo forever. I apologize for the fact that this post is so long but I really need to express this somehow.

beatxur3heartout · Post by **beatxur3heartout** » Thu Dec 25, 2008 11:15 pm

dear. you can never say never, even if it feels like that right now, things change and its all in cosmos hands, your feelings will always be there, even tucked deep away, and that is OK. just be true to yourself about it. but everything dose happen for a reason.

a problem well stated is a problem half solved.

many of lifes failure are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. BUT that is NOT sayign that putting you and your career first was a bad choice NOT AT ALL, you have to beable to stand alone before you can stand with someone else, and you have to live your life happy and the way you want it! otherwise you will always feel unfufilled. things is happen for reasons un beknownce to you and anyone else, but like i said(maybe too many times lol) there ARE reasons... maybe you both need to grow first in a way. dont be afraid to take the first steps to finding out, and if it wasnt nessicerily right, it is a learning experience, and by continuing forward it is more likely that you will cross paths with what is the right choice (which may or may not be continuing on with him).

smile and live everyday to the fullest. love is hard and it kills slowly, but that dosent mean you have to go down with the ship.

i wish the best for you my dear, do what YOU feel is right for YOU,

ammo · Post by **ammo** » Thu Dec 25, 2008 11:29 pm

thank you so much for your encouraging words.

beatxur3heartout · Post by **beatxur3heartout** » Thu Dec 25, 2008 11:37 pm

anytime!! i feel for you, im goign through a similar situation,

what happens happens, just prepare for the worst, and keep going
anything else tht happens will be a pleasant suprise.

and i have a feeling all things will go well for you

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Fri Dec 26, 2008 6:48 pm

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies

ammo · Post by **ammo** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 2:32 am

Thank you all so much. I really feel like I need to vent right now. Things just keep getting more and more complex. He won't let my wounds heal, I live with him and have to see him everyday and I am starting to come apart in this situation. Hugs here, kisses there, it's like why won't he just let it die already. It hurts enough as it is but then he goes and does that and makes me hurt more. I don't know what to do. Till I have the money to leave I am so royally screwed.

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 3:08 am

Where is your 'power position'?  Staying strong?  Why are you giving that up?  Other people can do and say whatever they want...the 'test', is to stand strong and unmoved in our own center & trust, or power position.    Why won't he let it die?  Why don't you?  No one can make you feel / do anything, but you.  Stand strong.  It is possible to love again, in a new and better way, IF you allow it.  It is possible to move forward, IF you allow it.  It is also possible to stay 'stuck', if you allow that.  Find your truth, and hold to it.  Moving forward, in evern instance, taking care of you.  Knowing you are great and wonderful.

ammo · Post by **ammo** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 3:22 am

thank you, i lost sight of that today I did many a foolish things and acted as though I was his (internal) age of 6. I have to accept it, yes I messed up today but I'm over it and won't make the same mistake again. I have to live my life now and I already know the outcome of this situation, I just lost sight for a bit. So many people trying to break my spirit but in the end they will not succeed, I won't allow it.

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Tue Dec 30, 2008 3:28 am

You haven't 'messed up'.  You're only being a little stubborn.. :)  You are making choices that help you to learn the lessons of how amazing & wonderful you are.    Staying strong, makes it impossible to over-re-act, or act like you're 6.  Repeat to yourself, "I am strong, confident and capable.  I deserve abudance in every area of my life".  Live in each moment, to its fullest, taking care of you.

larachew · Post by **larachew** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:17 am

ammo, i am going through exact similar situation as you. i was in this relationship for a long long time. more than 6 years. one day, i felt that i want to focus career, din spend time with him, din want to be close to him. in the end, his passion just died and he told me that he wil never feel the same way for me again. i got so devastated that i went to temple, went tarot card reading, went fortune telling to see if we still will ever have that connection again...he refuse to pick up my calls or see me even. i know i had to give up but was not ready to let it go as i felt the breakup was due to my problem. i was the one who made him feel this way n i will never get him back. he is a very nice guy and im sure he deserves someone better.

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 1:16 pm

Give yourself the 'gift' of forgiveness and move on. Learn the lessons and move forward. If you make the choice that is right for you, let the chips fall where they may at any given moment. If their feelings change..they change..something better is coming for everyone . If your feelings change..they change...again, something better is coming for everyone.

ammo · Post by **ammo** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 4:31 pm

kgrilsmomma said it! After spending hundreds of dollars on readings and countless hours trying to wrap my head around the bizzarre breakup I still don't understand it but am accepting that life just has other plans for us. I just have to say that WE (u nd I) deserve something better than flighty men who are too weak at heart to stick through the tough times. We deserve better than to put up with guys who are too afraid of a future and we have to give our love to people who TRULY deserve it. I too have been mostly focused on career issues and have found that in this period it's incredibly hard to really focus fully on career but it is coming to an end. While the men we struggled with were nice, decent guys they were not the ones for us, why settle for "nice" when we can try to find "incredible"? It is hard right now but we must remember to never give up hope and never allow ourselves to become lost in the pain we felt. I really feel like we should go out for coffee together :D lol and invite all of the other ladies on mysticboard who are going through such simillar situations. never lose your smile, it is your greatest gift. and please pm me if you want to talk. xoxo's

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 4:48 pm

Always remember to conduct yourself with honor.  You take care of you, without harming others; and then take care of others, without harm to you.  In each and every instance, make the choices that are correct for you.  Follow the emotions of happiness to their rightful destination.  There is no point in following pain.  Learn from joy, not pain.   Live empowered, not from fear.  Learn lessons and move forward.

I_am_a_starseed · Post by **I_am_a_starseed** » Thu Jan 15, 2009 2:25 am

After 12 years and a purchase of a house in 2005, a head on collsion 7 days after moving in, that broke my neck, I am reminded that my love and I had many GOOD times in between. Yet he abandoned me on my birthday this past fall and I have no real idea why, except for some bland excuses from him. His belongings are still here and I find it difficult to live with his stuff surrounding me. I sense that he has taken up an "affair of the heart" with a female confidant from his past. I feel this so strongly that I KNOW it is true...I am just waiting for the energies to show me proofs, which are slowly coming out. I have good days and bad days, and have cried for 60 days straight in denial that the end has come and Our dreams of the future were just dreams after all.  He said he was unhappy for years but did not want to make waves, and knowing this he signed the deed to the house that was purchased in 2005. Now his waveless demeanor has left a sunami in my life with a wake of sadness and potential for me to be homeless. I am trying to keep my chin up which is difficult at times.

I think staying in a loveless relationship is bad for your aura, and your psychic energy. If you are feeling bad for trying to get your career I think a deep self evaluation is needed, for you HAVE to have a means of self support. What if all was well and your love passed away? Without a career and a GOOD job you could be subject to a poverty situation that could be unrecoverable...I am facing down a 200k debt alone now...so I feel that if I do not focus on standing up on my own I will fall and lose everything I have worked for...It is always darkest before the dawn...Peace 2 You and Everyone suffering over lost love, I will pray for you...

ammo · Post by **ammo** » Thu Jan 15, 2009 2:40 am

I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time also. I don't understand how these men could live as though they had no conscience. I would not be able to live with myself if I had done something like that. I don't know why but everywhere I look love is dissolving. At first I thought that it was just because that was my central focus...but now it is beginning to concern me.

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Breaking up after so many years

Breaking up after so many years

Conduct Yourself With Honor

I have been going through this as well...

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