I have struggled with depression since I was a child. I had a few years lately where I just refused to be depressed. I had no alternative. Well, the alternative was a bottomless pit I didn't want to jump into. Now I feel it's coming at my feet again - it's all about love I think.
I want to tell everyone out there emphatically - be careful when you spread the New Age Guilt on people - "love yourself and love will find you". Does anyone agree with me its' a bunch of baloney? I don't believe in the blame the victim game. Some people just will not have a relationship in their life. I have been married, thought I'd grow to love him and it didn't happen. I was fond of him, but not more. He turned out to be an immoral human being. I just think people should be careful when telling others that they don't have love in their lives because it's their own doing. It's easy to play this game. Don't do it. It makes the person you think you're helping ultimately feel worse. Rhonda Byrne did a great disservice to people when she wrote The Secret. It's not your fault if you have problems and dilemmas in life. Just try to be a good person. That's all. And it's enough.
Yes, I'm having a really bad couple of months lately. when will it stop?
Heading into Depression I Think
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StormGirl Blue
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wow Cairene,
your one brave lady speaking against the secret, I like you!.lol, I thought I was the only person in the word that wanted to argue with it..
I don't hate it, and think its got merit, but yea entirely blaming people for the bad things that have happened to them was horrible!. that put me off... I just wanted to scream "what about" listing injustice against children etc.
Then I was dumbfounded that it did not adequately inspire active roles... it kind of has the reading thinking if you think it it will happen.. hey what about work.. folk need to work to make things happen.. I mean it did sort of mention it a little, but the whole working towards it was lost in the making the reader thing that magic thoughts put food in the mouth of the hungry.
On the other hand some good points are raised, fair enough people may not create all of their bad things, but they do have control on how they allow bad things in the past to shape their present.
It is also true that happy positive people are attractive to others, sad, high maintenance people are not so. Fake people are even less attractive than sad people, fake happy is icky. Sooo it comes down with having to do something that makes you genuinely happy and content in life.
The truth is, this does not guarantee that an amazing lover will come knocking at your door, but the emptiness is not so prominent in our lives when we are leading a fulfilling life.
I have sat with many people who have complained about not meeting the right person in their lives, further talks will oft reveal that they do very little that puts them in a position to meet someone new.. ie they are doing the same things, going to the same places and living all the same habits. this is when I recommend finding a community volunteer project that genuinely interests them...
I also love recommending that they get motivated in creating an adventure. doing something, that something that they always thought looked like something they wanted to try.
For many also they get a new lease of life vitality form an appearance pamper. a hair cut, new clothes, excersize program.. its a personal treat.
Before you get too far down that the thought of having to climb back up sounds too hard please get active. Most importantly be a do-er in your life.
Be proactive in creating the life you want.. dont think about.. an alternative reality doesnt make this one right, but a new reality does.
your one brave lady speaking against the secret, I like you!.lol, I thought I was the only person in the word that wanted to argue with it..
I don't hate it, and think its got merit, but yea entirely blaming people for the bad things that have happened to them was horrible!. that put me off... I just wanted to scream "what about" listing injustice against children etc.
Then I was dumbfounded that it did not adequately inspire active roles... it kind of has the reading thinking if you think it it will happen.. hey what about work.. folk need to work to make things happen.. I mean it did sort of mention it a little, but the whole working towards it was lost in the making the reader thing that magic thoughts put food in the mouth of the hungry.
On the other hand some good points are raised, fair enough people may not create all of their bad things, but they do have control on how they allow bad things in the past to shape their present.
It is also true that happy positive people are attractive to others, sad, high maintenance people are not so. Fake people are even less attractive than sad people, fake happy is icky. Sooo it comes down with having to do something that makes you genuinely happy and content in life.
The truth is, this does not guarantee that an amazing lover will come knocking at your door, but the emptiness is not so prominent in our lives when we are leading a fulfilling life.
I have sat with many people who have complained about not meeting the right person in their lives, further talks will oft reveal that they do very little that puts them in a position to meet someone new.. ie they are doing the same things, going to the same places and living all the same habits. this is when I recommend finding a community volunteer project that genuinely interests them...
I also love recommending that they get motivated in creating an adventure. doing something, that something that they always thought looked like something they wanted to try.
For many also they get a new lease of life vitality form an appearance pamper. a hair cut, new clothes, excersize program.. its a personal treat.
Before you get too far down that the thought of having to climb back up sounds too hard please get active. Most importantly be a do-er in your life.
Be proactive in creating the life you want.. dont think about.. an alternative reality doesnt make this one right, but a new reality does.
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ConfusedMind
- Posts: 650
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Cascade of Light
- Posts: 987
- Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:36 pm
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The Ten Commandments in the Bible were never meant to be a Mantra to cause ill-rest and religous wars, but rather a useful guideline as to have a happy life. The Secret is based on the loaves and fishes story in the Bible, and it is true that what you focus on actually expands.
Depression can happen when your basic needs are not being met, and love is missing from your life. Humans are mean to live in a world of love like the Garden of Eden, and to express our sexuality as a reward for giving our love to each other.
When we meet someone, we notice something about them that we like, and if we give the thing we like some energy we will find we start to notice more good things about them (we are actually compiling a list in our mind of things we admire about them), and if the list grows quickly, we can fall head over heels in love with them. While we are focused on the good points about them, our eyes don't notice anything bad about them (love is blind).
A marriage will sail along in calm waters as long as we continue to count the blessings of the marriage, but sometimes spouses can have mid-life crisis and start to feel they are becoming less attractive and the rewards of marriage are not what they expected.
A marriage should be a partnership of helping each other's needs get met, but husbands and wives can stop talking to each other through a mid-life crisis - no longer sharing the insecrities they are feeling. A spouse may talk to her friends, but not her husband, so a rift occurs and the couple grow apart.
A relationship can be rescued if both parties agree to start counting the Blessings of the marriage again. This starts the snowball rolling to bring back the love and emotional closeness that once existed.
Adultery or pornography are enjoyed by more than 50% of modern couples according to surveys, and not necessary grounds for urgent divorce - more of a starting pont to re-negotiate the future direction of a marriage. See it like a business in deep trouble, that needs a new sense of direction. Everyone gets hurt by divorce.
Before very long, both spouses are counting up the things that are wrong with the marriage, and like a snowball as Rhonda says in the Secret, the list of wrongs grow faster and faster until there is no marriage left.
Depression can happen when your basic needs are not being met, and love is missing from your life. Humans are mean to live in a world of love like the Garden of Eden, and to express our sexuality as a reward for giving our love to each other.
When we meet someone, we notice something about them that we like, and if we give the thing we like some energy we will find we start to notice more good things about them (we are actually compiling a list in our mind of things we admire about them), and if the list grows quickly, we can fall head over heels in love with them. While we are focused on the good points about them, our eyes don't notice anything bad about them (love is blind).
A marriage will sail along in calm waters as long as we continue to count the blessings of the marriage, but sometimes spouses can have mid-life crisis and start to feel they are becoming less attractive and the rewards of marriage are not what they expected.
A marriage should be a partnership of helping each other's needs get met, but husbands and wives can stop talking to each other through a mid-life crisis - no longer sharing the insecrities they are feeling. A spouse may talk to her friends, but not her husband, so a rift occurs and the couple grow apart.
A relationship can be rescued if both parties agree to start counting the Blessings of the marriage again. This starts the snowball rolling to bring back the love and emotional closeness that once existed.
Adultery or pornography are enjoyed by more than 50% of modern couples according to surveys, and not necessary grounds for urgent divorce - more of a starting pont to re-negotiate the future direction of a marriage. See it like a business in deep trouble, that needs a new sense of direction. Everyone gets hurt by divorce.
Before very long, both spouses are counting up the things that are wrong with the marriage, and like a snowball as Rhonda says in the Secret, the list of wrongs grow faster and faster until there is no marriage left.
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