I've lost it ....

Marquitta · Post by **Marquitta** » Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:37 am

This is about a relationship. It is kind of long, sorry, I just have to get it out.

My ex and I had a very rocky one. It kind of tapered off because he would not communicate properly. He was raised not talking about important matters and he knew he would always get what he wanted from his parents. I feel this contributed a large part to his problem.

Anyway, one day he just said, "I can't make myself care anymore." He was very depressed, his dad was sick, got fired from his job, had to move back home, etc. So I guess he couldn't handle the relationship as well, on top of being a bit selfish and immature.

Anyway, I spent time with friends, even dated around a little bit. He would always talk to me here and there, couldn't go long without talking to me. One night he wanted to come over, so he did and spent the night. He pulled me to him to cuddle and treated me like his girlfriend the next day, like no time had passed. The day after that, I was blown off when we had plans to go on a short fun trip, so I stopped talking to him.

About a week later, he tried to get my attention at a club, and I just quickly waved and blew him off. Another week he just watched me all night at the club we both used to go to. Then I found out something was going on between him and I girl I had called a friend. But even after that we would talk on chat here and there, nothing big just simple chat.

The day he found out I had a new boyfriend, he said he was happy for me and then I said we should hang out and catch up. He started expressing how upset he was that I had been ignoring him in public and not talking to him. As we were arguing via text during work, he showed up at my work. He has never eaten at that chain the whole time I have known him, plus he could've went to the store the girl he was messing with works at. I hid in the office because I couldn't face him. We argued over text all night and he ended up saying, "The past is gone."

A few days later he asked what I was doing that night and I told him I was going to a friend's party with my boyfriend. He said he was going to after party with his band because he had a show that night. I ended up saying that before things get serious with my current boyfriend we should really work things out if he still has feelings for me. He said he has no feelings for me. Then he showed up at the party I said I would be at, and that girl was with him. Nobody wanted either of them there, and when my ex got kicked out, he just left the girl there.

The next day her friend asked me about it and said I shouldn't care if that girl and my ex are dating. I told her about how he came to my work and that party. So shortly after, I got a text from him saying to mind my business and stop talking about him. I told him to never text me again, but he did, 9 hours later, saying he was going to get a restraining order. I reminded him that he was the one that came to my work and that party, and that I don't follow him. His words to me were, "You think I came to see YOU at your work? Wrong. And I was invited to that party. Get over yourself please." But he was invited by the girl who also had to leave, not the people who owned the house. He would never go over there when we were dating. I know he was there at those places to see me.

I have tried to contact him a few times since then (it's been a month) and he ignores it completely. I had deleted him as a friend on my facebook page, so to get me back he blocked me. I keep telling him if he really does care he should do something because the longer this goes untalked about, the farther apart we will be. And I get no response. But every time in the past I would stop talking to him, is when he would come around. Does anyone see him coming back? I miss him so much..... I miss being close with him.

Thank you for taking the time to read this I appreciate it and any feedback so much. <3

SunshineLove · Post by **SunshineLove** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 12:53 am

What you have to do is get yourself busy & try not to contact him what so ever...I know it's hard, but you must or he'll continue to ignore you.

dhav · Post by **dhav** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:45 pm

You need respect from him above everything else. You should make yourself clear about what he wants and do not go after him. If you really are meant to be he will be back but only after he matures up. So stop waiting for him and go on with your life. Is he truly the man you want to be with or is it the attachment? If he wants to be with you he got to make the efforts and stop beating around the bush.you should tell him that and live your life happily by yourself.

kellysa111 · Post by **kellysa111** » Wed Nov 23, 2011 6:10 pm

He's playing games. Ignore it. Ignore texts, phone calls, and anything your friends tell you about him. If he goes over to your work, treat him like any other customer. If he tries talking to you when you're at work, tell him that your sorry, but you're working. No time to be chit chatting.

peredhil31 · Post by **peredhil31** » Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:12 am

You have value.  Not because of a relationship with anyone but yourself.  That's first.  No one can set your value but you - and if you let others set it, they will always set it lower than theirs unless they are codependent themselves.

Second, consider a pair of magnets as a relationship.  If one side feels they "own" the other, their genetics drives them to start looking for an equal who won't cling in that way.  That's when the magnets are tightly fixed together.  But if the magnets are set to push each other to a comfortable distance, as if a rubber band of relationship were holding them together, then when one starts to move too close, the other moves back, and so forth.  
He's moved away, and is looking for you to pursue.  
Try living your life, enjoying it, and being the type of person he'll want to pursue.

sehtja · Post by **sehtja** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:29 pm

He doesn't know what he wants. He wants you when you are not available and not when you are chasing him.

I think it's best to leave him alone, don't communicate with him then see what happens. Either both of you sit down and talk about this or both go your own way.

zeldaevolution · Post by **zeldaevolution** » Thu Oct 25, 2012 6:28 am

tried the cold shoulder yet?

smith joe · Post by **smith joe** » Fri Nov 09, 2012 7:27 am

He is making you bluff.You just not need to continue any relation you just ignore him not to respond his any contact.One day he will understand what he was doing and let himself in a right way.Everything will gone well for you.

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s33ker · Post by **s33ker** » Fri Nov 09, 2012 8:48 am

O.k this might be hard to hear, but he doesn't want you but because he's selfish he wants you to want him .
Stop stalking him, thats what your doing .You need to face the fact that everytime you try to contact him your giving
Him power, your power. You need to concentrate on you now and take your power back. YOUR A GODDESS so stop
behaving like your not. Your pining for a fool , just welcome the heartache and roll with it, it might hurt but once you've cleansed him from your heart ,you'll wonder what you ever seen in him in the first place.

Spirit_of_Phoenix · Post by **Spirit_of_Phoenix** » Fri Dec 07, 2012 3:06 pm

hugs!

Duchess1964 · Post by **Duchess1964** » Thu Jan 03, 2013 4:40 am

Here is a hug and my thoughts and prayers are with you.  That's what this board is for after all.  However, I will tell you to look up the prefix ... EX and then follow it.  He is your EX boyfriend, not current anything.  It sounds like you seem to believe there should be more for you.  Get over it and him, he has apparently.  A month in puppy EX years is a long time.  Move on.  You will only harm yourself seeking something that is in the past.

symulhaque · Post by **symulhaque** » Sun Jan 27, 2013 5:37 am

You have to realize the face dear that nothing remains stopped. Life is just going on. Be positive.

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