every elder person I am introduced to, they hope I get work. I feel sorry.
everytime I sit at the computer's front, my parents and granmom nags me to get a work.
everytime I apply, seems that I don't even qualify, or some legal matters prevent me to be accepted.
everytime I do something it feels like my granmom and pops see the bad in it.
I've lostmy notebook, now who just took it away, was it God or some boogeyman?
everytime I search for it in the house, my granmom and pops tell me it's my fault. I know.
I'm always at fault.
when I get bitter and don't talk my existence feels fading.
I always see myself shouting at them everytime I think of it, yet cannot do so.
I don't even know if I can withstand the pain when I'm being told that I'm doing something not good.
I'm not telling it's bad because it's just always not good.
yet the feeling of being poisoned by words day by day, I wonder if I can even have an outlet for all the anger and pain that's being accumulated in this heart.
I can't remember the last time my heart beat fast because of joy.
now it's always fast because of fear.
telling me I'm not good, then they should know I that I'll say when I'm interviewed that I'm not good.
*typing in the middle of the night
now just tell me I'm alive and eating well. body well. but is the mind, well, I wonder.
sometimes the power of words are just as powerful as any blade that can cut.
there's a lot of things I want to say, alot in my mind, alot in my disposition, some are also probably encrypted in my dreams, yet I don't think my fingers can keep up with my thought.
I know I'm still young, in thoughts, and I don't know if I have any wisdom myself
hope I can meet with my subconscious self
and up to this line, I end, and probably, come back some time again...
.....since i moved.
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- zeldaevolution
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.....since i moved.
I'm still a kid when I reach my 40s, that's for sure.
I'm grown up when I'm 70, that's a bull's eye.
When I get to 120, it's probably that God will call me some time later... because he set up my bed for me ^__^
I'm grown up when I'm 70, that's a bull's eye.
When I get to 120, it's probably that God will call me some time later... because he set up my bed for me ^__^
- Spirit_of_Phoenix
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