I need help with learning to not care what others say or think about me

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bewitchingbecca013
Posts: 16
Joined: Wed May 01, 2013 5:38 am
Location: living in my first apartment :D

I need help with learning to not care what others say or think about me

Post by bewitchingbecca013 » Thu Jul 18, 2013 6:11 am

Hello! I was just wondering what are some things I can do to help me reduce anxiety and stop worrying, especially if it relates to someone I used to be friends with, or thought was a real friend. Recently I've discovered that I am nice & naive when it comes to people, im tired of beleiving illusions and im tired of preferring what I see through rose colored glasses verses actual reality and the cold truth of how some people in this world are. Another area I need help in is confidence, speaking up more (without being afraid of how my words will affect others) and standing up for myself :/

 Let's just say im kinda going through a growing pain & it's a harsh lesson I recently learned thanks to some so called ''friend'' that I thought was real (for those who have read my other post, yes im refering to amanda). For a long part of my life, I litterally assumed that just because im nice to people & sweet, good personality,etc. that other people were that way too and would never be mean to me or hurt me, I also very naively assumed that just because I genuinely give someone my kindness and care for them, listen to there problems, buy them food, offer transportation,whatever that it automatically makes us friends :( I now know that is not true and im sort of "waking up" to how the world & people really are in life, it's not all sunshine & flowers.

 Specifically, I want help with learning to not care what people think of me, especially those who in time make it clear they don't give a damn about me. Im sick and tired of beleiving illusions, lies and fakes. Im tired of being used and taken advantage of, im done with being naive. Im just so DONE with giving my all to people and doing whatever to prove im a good friend and that there are still some nice people in the world who care about others and end up getting little to nothing in return!!! Seriously, like what the ^%(* have I EVER done in this life to end up being used!?

 It's naturally part of my nature to care about people, sometimes to a fault I beleive...I don't have that good of judgement on people, it's not only that I can't see the bad sides of people, it's like I don't want to, It's like I only want to focus on the good and make excuses for why they act in certain ways, or get mean or angry and yes I even makes excuses for why we should be friends, or expect that we are friends & I associate giving too much of myself too soon by being a freakin psychologist,chaffer, & person who pays for stuff all in one,etc. with "hanging out" & "instant friendship", I want so badly to put an end to this.

 Im wanting to get an edge, to get a tough shell around me, but not too tough. I want to learn how to not take on the problems of others and let other peoples problems & total BS not effect me (like make me feel down in the dumps, make me lose sleep over them & what they are going through, make me stay around them even when im uncomfortable,etc.) I need to learn how to take up for myself, i need to learn how and when to drop people from my life who clearly aren't meant to continue to remain in it, instead of trying to keep them hanging on in my life by "memories" & what I WANTED to happen instead of simply letting what is REALLY MEANT TO HAPPEN HAPPEN & LET GO. Any ideas on how I can cut chords and fix this about me??? :( Your help, advice, simular stories/experiences is greatly appreciated! It would be nice to know if im not alone in going through this kind of lesson in life, THANK YOU

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Rhutobello
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Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2006 8:39 pm

Post by Rhutobello » Tue Jul 23, 2013 11:36 am

First of all, A Big Grandpa Hug to you, and a BIG Smile, Why, Because you have understood that you need a change in life, and then there is big hpoes for you, and improvement of Your Lifequelety.

Be aware of one IMPORTANT thing, It is we that creates the REALITY we see around us, there is not 2 persons that can agree on everything, even if they have seen the same thing, this is because our mind prossess our information different.

Why do I tell this?, Because we as humans easy make life harder for us self because we evaluate what other think about us, we might downgrade ourself in our own eyes, and easy evaluate an action the wrong way.

You said your friend hurt you....my question is....is this person a cruel person that normally goes around hurting people, or might it be that you have evaluated what he/she said in a wrong way....did he/she do it on purpose?

As for reduction of anxiety, you need to work with yourself, and that is best done by meditation and selfdevelopment.
We must always have in mind that the only person we can change here in life, is ourself....no other....

Meditation can be so simple as to take half an hour with quiet music, sitting with eyes closed, let the thoughts drift and relaxe the whole body...there is even programs to buy that lead you through some exercises, and if done right give Great benefit.

It is important that you NEVER think Negative thoughts about Yourself, I can see you are a Good Person...be Proud of Yourself, and always tell Yourself that """"If I know that no one can blame me, then I don't care what other tells about me"" ""If I know I have done my best, then I don't care what other tells about me""  " always find good Mantras...Always look for the Posetive....Negative thoughts consume energies....negative talk remove friends.....posetive talks collect freinds.

So as said before....It is only YOU who can fix thing in Your life.....I have only pointed out some paths....it is up to you to investigate them.....but by asking the question you made...You are on the right way!!

Another Big Hugg!

Pravin Kumar
Posts: 7094
Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2005 2:08 pm
Location: bombay

Post by Pravin Kumar » Wed Jul 24, 2013 7:59 am

Just read the below. I hope you will understand that you need not compare yourself with others and then you will live happily

To compare your self worth with what others have or don't have or want to have is a sure shot way of feeling small. Nature does not live in comparison, it lives in compassion.

We con ourselves into believing that we are lost. If you will yourself to find your purpose and leave no option but to find it, you will discover it for yourself.  

Your destiny is your path, you don't wait for others to step up first. You are the only one who can take the initiative for your own destiny. Step up.

To Look at your current state in its current meaning is to be wise.But to confuse your current state with the regret and misfortune of your past is to be foolishly naive.

It's futile to compare yourself with others. It's futile to protest against circumstance. There is only one place you are meant to be and that place is "here" .That your lesson is best learnt at only one time and that is "now".

Grace and dignity is the answer to all pain that there is. When dignity and grace define your experience of the world, there is no pain.


There is only one destiny,  the one you design for yourself.

The master is already within. How can you expect someone else to sort out the world you messed up?

Sometimes the hardest task is to "un-create" the mess which we have got ourselves in.

The test is learning is how you apply it to make your life and the lives of others better.

There exists a perfect world if you care enough to create it.

Today is the beginning of the rest of your life. You can start at any point you want.

We are all granted the gift of choosing possibilities. When you choose a certain possibility you start the process of its manifestation. Despair is as much your choice is abundance is.

I am another you ...... if I can , you already have.
For detailed palm reading and spiritual guidance Consult at: pravinjsoni97@hotmail.com

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