Could I please have some help?

Here is the place to share your life's problems and questions, and to offer you possible answers and real, practical solutions. The best place on the internet for all members to exchange general advice, healing and support, and to help each other to get through at least to the next day. No readings will be given on this board.

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CottonRas
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Location: Canada

Could I please have some help?

Post by CottonRas » Sat Feb 22, 2014 5:55 pm

Dear psychic reader(s),
my apologies for requesting so bluntly a reading whilst being a new member; a young one, at that! However. I'm an all-around curious girl, so naturally I feel compelled to look into the services of a person who knows far more than I about matters i've not a clue about. To be honest, i'm not entirely certain what i'm asking here and you have my dearest apologies for my indecision. I've been in a bad habit or two, I guess, and have been feeling more lonely as of late. The loneliness may be accredited to my sexuality, gay, seeing as I know no fellow LBGT students whom attend my school. I don't know, i'm just- what am I to do with my life? I'm really sorry for my lack of a clear question in mind, just... i'm curious and desperate for answers to questions I do not have. I understand if my messy post wards off any possibilities of a reading, or makes one impossible, but i'd appreciate it if you could perhaps try. If it's not possible, that's fine.
Sincerely,
Cotton

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eye_of_tiger
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Can I help you instead on the I Need A Hug forum?

Post by eye_of_tiger » Sat Feb 22, 2014 9:16 pm

Sorry Cotton,

But you must be at least 18 years of age to be given a reading on this forum (or any other reading forum on MB).
6. You must be over the age of 18 to have a psychic reading done.


"Please Read Before Requesting a Reading"

http://mysticboard.org/vi ... hp?t=73424

Could I please suggest to you in place of a reading that we move this to the I Need A Hug forum?
"I Need A Hug" forum is a place to share your problems or something thats been bothering you and find particle solutions to everyday life. "I Need A Hug" forum for people to talk away their blues. Maybe you just want to get something off your back or need a hug to see you thru the day then this is the right place.
http://mysticboard.org/viewforum.php?f=84

From what I can understand you are asking for advice about what you could possibly do to help overcome your loneliness due to you being both 13 years old and gay in a school where it appears at least on the surface that all of the other students are straight (not gay).

I wanted you to know that we do not discriminate against you on Mystic Board on account of your sexual preferences, and that while I do not have any formal qualifications in this area I do feel that I can at least point you in the right direction to finding someone at your school who has more understanding about what you are going through. Not all of your problems are directly related to you being gay. Your age is also an important factor in making you have low self confidence.

If you would like me to, I can move this to the other forum myself with your permission, as soon as you let me know that you want to do this. Send me (eye_of_tiger) a private message letting me know what you have decided one way or the other, and as soon as I have it (allowing for any time zone differences between South Australia and where you live) I will make the necessary changes for you.

You are not under any obligation to do this, but I am am here for you when you need the help and support. I am a retired high school teacher myself so I do have some experience in helping students of your age and sexual orientation to adjust to their new surroundings. I am a 61 year old married man, and my wife and I have two adult children: a son (27) and a daughter (31).

Over to you now for your decision,

eye_of_tiger (EoT) Image

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eye_of_tiger
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Post by eye_of_tiger » Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:09 pm

Now that I have your permission to proceed, could we please begin by you answering the following five questions for me?

1.At what age did you first become aware of these feelings towards other girls?

2. Have you "come out" or revealed that you have these feelings for other girls to your parents, and if so how did they react? Or why did you choose not to tell them?

3. Does the school which you attend have a student counselor (male or female) who you could speak to about these feelings, without any fear of ridicule or persecution, or of it being discussed with the other students or your teachers (without your permission)?

4. Is there a free service in your local community which you could consult in place of a school counselor, as a minor (younger than 21 or 18 years of age, depending on the laws of your country)?

5.Because you are only 13 years of age, would your parents legally need to know that you are seeing a school counselor, or using such a service outside of your school? Do they know that you are visiting Mystic Board, and approve of you continuing to do so?


As I explained to you earlier if you feel uncomfortable about answering any or all of these or any future questions on this forum, you can choose to answer them through a private message instead. If at any time you wish to withdraw and not discuss this subject any further, you are free to do so and you will not be in any trouble, or hurt our feelings.

I need to ask you these questions on the forum because I feel that it might not only help you, but also possibly help any other GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transsexual) Mystic Board members at the same time.

This thread is also open to any other GLBT MB members who wish to contribute something helpful from their own experiences of public attitudes towards gay people of any age, and above all to show their support for your situation.

Love and Light,

EoT  :)

CottonRas
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Feb 22, 2014 5:45 pm
Location: Canada

Post by CottonRas » Sat Mar 01, 2014 2:51 am

eye_of_tiger wrote:1.At what age did you first become aware of these feelings towards other girls?
At age twelve, last year, during the summer. I was confused, and looked deeper into the subject.
eye_of_tiger wrote:2. Have you "come out" or revealed that you have these feelings for other girls to your parents, and if so how did they react? Or why did you choose not to tell them?
I came out to my mother, and at first she was shocked and seemed a bit angry. Later, when we discussed it, she was clearly hesitant to believe me, and repeatedly asked me questions along the lines of, "Are you sure?"
eye_of_tiger wrote:3. Does the school which you attend have a student counsellor (male or female) who you could speak to about these feelings, without any fear of ridicule or persecution, or of it being discussed with the other students or your teachers (without your permission)?
The school has a counsellor, I believe.
eye_of_tiger wrote:4. Is there a free service in your local community which you could consult in place of a school counsellor, as a minor (younger than 21 or 18 years of age, depending on the laws of your country)?
I don't believe so.
eye_of_tiger wrote:5.Because you are only 13 years of age, would your parents legally need to know that you are seeing a school counsellor, or using such a service outside of your school? Do they know that you are visiting Mystic Board, and approve of you continuing to do so?
I'm not certain, but I think they may need to be informed if I were to consult a school counsellor or anything of the sort. And no, they aren't aware of my internet activities. However, I wouldn't see them having a problem with my visiting.

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Post by eye_of_tiger » Sun Mar 02, 2014 12:01 am

Cotton,

I want to begin by saying that I am very impressed both with you and your mother. You are very fortunate indeed to have a mother like yours, and she is blessed to have a daughter like you. I do not know anything about your father, but if his choice in a wife is anything to go by, he must be a good man in his own way.

Any loving, caring and intelligent parent would be expected to feel the entire range of emotions including shock, anger, grief, frustration, embarrassment if they start to believe that their child is "different" from most other children. My wife and I felt all those feelings and more when our son was diagnosed at the age of 10 with an autistic spectrum disorder called Asperger Syndrome. He will be 28 this year, but he is still struggling with the negative effects of his emotional and social disability which will never get any better. The best we can hope for him is that he learns to better manage his condition before we both pass over. None of this seems fair, but such is life.

And it must have taken great courage on your part to tell how you felt to your mother. And even more courage to come onto this forum where you did not know how we would or if we would like and accept you. Almost all 12 and 13 year old girls feel confused about who they are and who they want to be, including that humans are sexual beings. 12 is often the age in our society when our sex hormones start to effect our way of thinking in preparation for us becoming a teenager, and then an adult.

And with all the confusing and unsettling ideas which come from the movies, internet, pulp magazines etc as to what being sexy means, no wonder you have mixed and conflicting feelings about other girls. When your mother asks if you are sure about your attraction to other girls, she is really not questioning that you feel this way. If that is how you really feel, nobody has the right to say that you do not feel that way. We do not have any control over our feelings, but we do have control over what we do about our feelings.

This is only the first part of the help which I want to give you on this forum, and I will leave it with you after I have finished it below for your comments and feedback.

If you decide that you want to continue with this discussion, I would feel happy and privileged to be on your helper team along with your parents and possibly also your school counselor. Each and every one of us has something useful and valuable to teach you, but the main message is that all of us need to learn to value and respect more who we already are (mistakes, weaknesses and bad habits included).

This is called self love, and in the end it is the only way (always easier said than done) that we can truly heal ourselves. Being gay is not a disease or illness so you cannot be healed or cured of having these feelings towards members of the same sex. But it is your feelings about being gay and a 13 year old girl which do need healing. And our society itself needs to be healed of its fear and paranoia towards anybody who seems "different" in any way, gay or straight. Our sexuality is a part of us being human.

Some interesting facts which you might or might not know to end this introduction.........
All of us are somewhere on a line drawn between male at one end, and female at the other. Males have small amounts of female hormones (estrogen) in their bodies, and women have small amounts of testosterone (male hormone) in theirs. If a human embryo does not make just the right extremely small amount of male hormone at exactly the right time early during its mother's pregnancy, we would all be born female. So from the view of science men are in reality modified females, which is the opposite of some religious teachings where man was supposed to come first, and woman second. Our sexual feelings are largely the result of the effects of these circulating male and female hormones on our brains and the rest of our nervous system at different stages in our lives. At the age of 12 or 13, we are entering upon one of the most important but most confusing, frustrating, challenging stages of our lives . Becoming a teenager. The levels of the male and female hormones in our blood stream begin to go wildly up and down like a roller coaster, and along with them our sexual feelings go into overdrive.
I will speak to you again soon in this thread only if you want me to. I look forward to hearing from you again, when you are well enough. Take good care of yourself, and of your Mum and Dad.

EoT :smt039

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