Inside the out I have come to find
Various stages of various places
I am terrified within this wall
Trying not to come unglued
Trying to find you
I am scared only to find
That sometimes my dreams are not
Only in my mind
I am not sure what is happening
Not sure what to do
What is happening I do ask everyday
What is this thing
This thing that we play
Not so sure that I like what I have found
Bothered since I only wished to be mom
Now not so sure what is happening inside this
Mind of mine, did I find a different release
I love my children for that there is no question
One day I was normal
The next I am terrififeid for each and every other
Then I am here just here amonst those who I do not know
I think this is an off day
A day I returned home
I am scared and alone, I need some of my friends
Please help me, love me, I need you again
I am terrified what I am seeing and seeing this is not good
What it is is what I am
And what I am is something I forgot
Inward I turn to find the strength
Trying to find my friends
Trying to find my friends who remember me
I am just here within my shell
Another reason I hide so well
Not so well hidden this I must say
I am afraid my loves
Afraid and scared out of my mind
That is just the least of it
Take care loves
Safe Journey
I am not doing so well
Not sure what is happening to me
What I say is that this is odd
Strange things not to be
I do not know what I am
I do not know what to be
Only a good mom and person
This I try to strive to be
Now I am just scared of the nightmares
Those that have been pleagueing me
I love my country, and love my God
This in those short few weeks of solitare
My mind did awake
Now I wish for sleep to sleep within the norm
Back to the days of laughter and joy
Back to the time of finding my way
What is happening to me my friends?
Why am I so terrified and tremble like a child
Clutching on to my blankie, I tremble
Something is worrying me yet I remain possitive
The meds have numbed me, this I do realize
I do know that something I know something is there
But instead of looking for it I will close my eyes
I will shut my ears off
I will shut my mind
To all these things that I do see for they are not for me
I am just here and that is that
Love you all
Wished it was
Now I go and try to do normal.
What is normal? What is this normal after it is that? I do not know but I am willing to try. There is so much good still here and I am trying my darnest to think the possitive while faced with this negativity. There are things I just didn't want to know. Things better left unsaid, and to let go. Mark my word. If you hear anything I have said that is what I say the most.
Leave it go.
Live.