Paradoxical emotions!

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Jayashree Ravi
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Paradoxical emotions!

Post by Jayashree Ravi » Fri Mar 04, 2016 8:24 pm

எதிர்மறை உணர்வுகள்:
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ஞாபகமில்லை நீ உதித்த நாள்
ஞாபகமில்லை நீ என்னை அம்மவென்றழைத்த நாள்
ஞாபகமில்லை நீ முதன்முதலாய் பள்ளி சென்ற நாள்
ஞாபகமில்லை உன் முதல்முதல் தோழி
ஆயின் நினைவிருக்கிறது
முதன்முதலாய் உன் காலில் முள் குத்திய நாள்
முதன்முதலாய் உன் காதில் தோடு போட்ட நாள்
முதன்முதலாய் உன் தோழியும் நீயும் சண்டையிட்ட நாள்
முதன்முதலாய் நீ என்னை கடிந்துகொண்டு அழுத நாள்
எல்லோரும் வேண்டுவது இன்பமேஎன்றாலும்
இன்பத்தின் தாக்கம் இதமான வருடலே
துன்பமோ அனைவரும் வேண்டாதது
அது நினைவென்னும் புதைமண்ணில் சிக்கிய பாண்டம்?
ஆகவே என் சிறு மகளே
இனி வரும் நாள் முழுவதும் உன்னை நினைவதை விடவும்
நினையாமையே நான் வேண்டும் நல்வரம்

Paradoxical emotions:
--------------------------

I remember not the day you were born
I remember not the day you called me your mother
I remember not the first day you went to school
I remember not your first friend
But I remember
The first day when a thorn pricked your foot
The first day your ears were poked
The first day you fought with your friend
The first day you fought with me and cried
Everyone seeks pleasure
Whose effect is like a gentle breeze
Nobody seeks displeasure
Its alike something stuck in the quicksand of memories
Therefore my dear daughter
In all the forthcoming days
I choose to not think about you than think about you!

(Also applicable to my son).

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eye_of_tiger
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Post by eye_of_tiger » Fri Mar 04, 2016 10:43 pm

Sister,

Pardon my ignorance as a "Westerner," but could you please confirm for me that your poems were originally written in a form of Sanskrit? Is it the Tamil variant of this language, as the meanings of the same script are slightly different or extended if it is Tamil?

The meaning behind your poem is (please correct me if I am wrong) that you consciously choose to only remember those memories of your children's lives that are associated with your positive emotions of love and caring for them.

The human mind is highly selective and often we remember things which are not really important or significant in the lives of our children. You would however prefer to train your mind so that only what is important, significant or emotionally and spiritually uplifting memories are given a much higher priority.

This is a form of spiritual practice or mental discipline which over time with repeated practice, becomes relatively automatic. Your mind should then forget or ignore those memories which are frozen in time (such as their first day of school) and only present you with those memories of the earlier lives of each of your children which are timeless, and related to when they were learning important lessons about persevering with life.

Mainly the lesson would be that conflict and unpleasantness and pain are unavoidable parts of life, but that all things or experiences (even painful ones) have an educational purpose behind them.

This is in stark contrast to the currently popular belief  that you should only do what feels good and easy, and avoid anything which feels bad or difficult A  self destructive belief which over time frequently leads to the person missing important lessons about the value of persevering in face of adversity and unpleasantness and difficulties. Leaving them as spiritually impoverished hedonists!

Your emotions are paradoxical because the memories about your children which you choose to remember often involve pain and suffering for them, but your mind is associating these memories with the love that you feel for them both as their mother as well as their spiritual guide.

The paradoxical nature of your emotions is best illustrated by the final line of your poem.
I choose to not think about you than think about you!
Which I interpret to mean (again please correct me if I am wrong) I as your mother and spiritual guide choose not to think so much about the parts of your lives which are related mainly to the external world and the physical, and will focus instead on your inner world and your spiritual development.

In other words I consciously and eventually unconsciously wish to concentrate from now on upon your true inner Self and its lessons, and NOT upon your lower, outer self and its various challenges, many which involve pain and suffering and you constantly struggling against a system which often does not recognise the sanctity and intrinsic value of a human life.

How did I do?

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Jayashree Ravi
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Post by Jayashree Ravi » Sat Mar 05, 2016 7:01 pm

Great job, EoT ji! Well written!

Yesterday I was just looking at a photograph of me and my daughter when the inspiration for this poem occured to me. Although human mind could be trained to remember various other things, I am not scientific enough to analyze from that perspective. Therefore I just penned down what I felt was true with me -- that is, I actually do not remember any of my childrens' happiest moments (except a rare few) but I do have a tendency to remember things I said in the poem, that is, circumstances that hurt them. One day when my son was attendind daycare before even joining pre-school, I was delayed from work and when I finally went to pick up my son, they commented, "Your son was so anxious and has been waiting for you ever since!". Another moment I remember is when we tried to put him in daycare as he was a 1 1/2 yr old and how much he cried for me when left alone without me! Only such memories flood when I try to think of my childrens' childhood or youth and that is the reason I penned the poem this way!
In other words I consciously and eventually unconsciously wish to concentrate from now on upon your true inner Self and its lessons, and NOT upon your lower, outer self and its various challenges, many which involve pain and suffering and you constantly struggling against a system which often does not recognise the sanctity and intrinsic value of a human life.
I'm way too unsophisticated to understand what you have said fully, but it seems to me you are suggesting we analyze our experiences for their true emotional value and appreciate them for the valuable lesson(s) they may offer us and remember those cherishing, valuable, guiding moments! This I truly agree with! Thank you.

Pranam,

Jayashree
Srimathe Ramanujaya Namaha

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Jayashree Ravi
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Post by Jayashree Ravi » Sat Mar 05, 2016 7:03 pm

And, the poem I wrote in the first half is Tamil. It isn't Sanskrit or any of Sanskrit's derived languages, either.
Srimathe Ramanujaya Namaha

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Post by eye_of_tiger » Sat Mar 05, 2016 10:51 pm

I'm way too unsophisticated to understand what you have said fully, but it seems to me you are suggesting we analyze our experiences for their true emotional value and appreciate them for the valuable lesson(s) they may offer us and remember those cherishing, valuable, guiding moments!
Dear Sister,

Thanking you sincerely for your friendly and thoughtful feedback.

For someone who regards herself as unsophisticated, you have a very good and clear understanding of what I was trying to say in the above quote.

Pardon my ignorance about the relationship between the Tamil and Sanskrit languages (and no offence intended by my observation), but my personal research on this subject on the internet strongly suggested that that first language was derived from the second until you commented about it, and I then read the following item.

Why do Tamilians not accept Sanskrit as the language from which most of the lexicon of most Indian languages are derived?
The assumption in the question is wrong. Tamils do not deny that majority of the lexicon of most Indian languages derives from Sanskrit. In fact even Dravidian languages like Malayalam, Kannada and Telugu borrow heavily from Sanskrit. Although they contain a lot of Sanskrit based words, the core (pronouns, numerals, sentence formation etc.) is not Sanskrit based. With Tamil, it is possible to go a step further. You can throw out every single Sanskrit word and still be understood by modern Tamil speakers. This is one of the crucial differences between Tamil and the other Dravidian languages. When God is Devudu or Bhagavan in other Dravidian languages (both are of Sanskrit origin) He/She/It is Kadavul in Tamil.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-Tamilians- ... re-derived

In summary while both the Tamil and Sanskrit languages have much in common with each other (core pronouns, numerals, sentence formation), they are in reality almost completely independent and self contained.

Learning something new and interesting to me every day, is a good thing?

Namaste,

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Post by Jayashree Ravi » Mon Mar 07, 2016 5:50 pm

Yeah, there are language experts and researchers who try to find out if Sanskrit is the language Tamil derived from and vice versa, but nothing so far has been conclusive. My knowledge on such research has been very limited.

I am also not against Sanskrit. It is just that I don't know it and secondly, with whatever basic info I know about it, doesn't seem like the language has any semblance to Tamil.
Learning something new and interesting to me every day, is a good thing?
Kudos! :)

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Post by eye_of_tiger » Mon Mar 07, 2016 11:38 pm

Sister,

I will end our discussion here about the Tamil language itself, as I do not wish it to distract anyone any further from the sheer beauty and exceptional quality of the poems which you have written and translated for us.

Hoping that it will not be the last.

நன்றி

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