setting boundaries with children
Moderators: eye_of_tiger, shalimar123
-
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 9:40 pm
- Location: Moline, Illinois
Family and Parenting - setting boundaries with children
I really believe that children WANT limits because it gives them security. But you have to get past that peer pressure thing with their friends and make them realize that they're not ten feet tall and bulletproof before you can make a beginning with the boundaries that you want to set. The boundaries I'm talking about are: curfew, no drinking or drugs rule, keeping their room clean, doing their homework, banning certain friends that you don't trust, and other issues like that. I believe that taking away privileges and explaining your point of view BRIEFLY is the only way to set boundaries. And teaching them that they are worthwhile individuals who deserve good friends who won't get them into trouble, and good boyfriends/girlfriends who won't pressure them into anything, is a must. Giving children a positive self-image while defending your rules of the house is the best way to make sure that the boundaries you set and the respect that you require is given back to you. Also, it helps if you mirror to your children that you have a good healthy self-image and that you are living in a positive, pro-active way. They will learn this from you and thank you for your rules later in life.
[/u]
[/u]
Live one day at a time, and make it a masterpiece...Christi L. Elliott
I agree that certain limits are a good idea, but we also have to be careful to be kind and compassionate and to sympathise if the child rebels against losing a friend because we do not approve. Sometimes this act can make the friend sem even more exciting and so they still meet but undercover. I do wonder how some children survive their upbringing with overbearing parents but then again others seem to have a total free rein and turn to vandalism and law breaking without even a harsh word from their parents.
-
- Posts: 356
- Joined: Mon Dec 10, 2007 12:06 pm
- kgirlsmomma
- Posts: 407
- Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:04 pm
Expectations
I believe in setting expectations..which is almost the same as boundaries. Expectations start very young, tho..don't want until it is too late in the teen years to set them, or boundaries if you prefer. I expect picking up your toys...I expect proper behavior in a house....I expect you to do your best in school...I expect no drinking..I expect no drugs...So far..I haven't been disappointed, and I don't expect to be. However at 21, they get to make their own choices, and I expect..I will live with those, too. :)
Last edited by kgirlsmomma on Sat Mar 28, 2009 1:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
-
- Posts: 186
- Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2009 9:28 pm
- Location: usa
- Medical Astrology
- Posts: 141
- Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 10:08 am
- Location: India
- Contact:
I'm sure we've all at one time or another encountered children whose parents lacked knowledge in regard to setting boundaries… these children are generally rude, disrespectful, and disruptive at nearly every encounter.
Boundaries are the foundation for raising a well-mannered and confident child that will go grow into a well-mannered and confident adult.
Boundaries are the foundation for raising a well-mannered and confident child that will go grow into a well-mannered and confident adult.
Dr. Jayashree Joshi, (MD) Physician and Herbalist
EXCLUSIVE FOCUS ON HEALTH ISSUES, with solutions through VEDIC ASTROLOGY.
EXCLUSIVE FOCUS ON HEALTH ISSUES, with solutions through VEDIC ASTROLOGY.
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests