Discipline and Obedience

The dynamics of Childcare and relationships have changed & needs a closer look... Discuss Parenting & Family issues here.

Moderators: eye_of_tiger, shalimar123

Post Reply
stan
Posts: 658
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:41 pm

Discipline and Obedience

Post by stan » Sat Dec 22, 2007 6:17 pm

Discipline and Obedience are two subjects that are so vital and yet so tragically misunderstood by most of us, that it may be well to go a little more deeply into discussion of them. Should children obey, unquestioningly, passively, with no volition of their own?

Deborah
Posts: 1290
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:58 pm

Post by Deborah » Sun Dec 23, 2007 6:33 pm

I am going to sit back and think on this ... maybe it is the words you use .. maybe I am not sure I understand your point.

I think times have changed - some good some bad .. I think the instant an adult thinks a child should obey - is wrong!  I think we have to earn a childs respect and trust - yes a little back wards from what we were taught as a child ............. but I say this for good reason .. If you respect a child and earn his trust .......the rest falls into place!

As for the way you wrote this .. I felt as if you were talking about a dog not a child!

stan
Posts: 658
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:41 pm

Post by stan » Sun Dec 23, 2007 8:10 pm

Deborah wrote:I am going to sit back and think on this ... maybe it is the words you use .. maybe I am not sure I understand your point.

I think times have changed - some good some bad .. I think the instant an adult thinks a child should obey - is wrong!  I think we have to earn a childs respect and trust - yes a little back wards from what we were taught as a child ............. but I say this for good reason .. If you respect a child and earn his trust .......the rest falls into place!

As for the way you wrote this .. I felt as if you were talking about a dog not a child!


As for the way you wrote this .. I felt as if you were talking about a dog not a child! (Deborah quote)

That's why you should think rather than go on what you feel I said.  :smt003

(Stan's question and quote) Discipline and Obedience are two subjects that are so vital and yet so tragically misunderstood by most of us, that it may be well to go a little more deeply into discussion of them. Should children obey, unquestioningly, passively, with no volition of their own?

Deborah
Posts: 1290
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:58 pm

Post by Deborah » Tue Dec 25, 2007 11:02 pm

No!  They should not!!!  

Communication Communication communication!

stan
Posts: 658
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:41 pm

Post by stan » Tue Dec 25, 2007 11:56 pm

I understand where you are coming from. Of what benefit is communication to the child? I mean what are we teaching by way of example would you think? lol

Deborah
Posts: 1290
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:58 pm

Post by Deborah » Wed Dec 26, 2007 2:11 pm

Communication - teaches them to be fine  adults ..

there are so many researches out there that show that with communication a child will reach .. will grasp... and stop


Bullies have been proven to stop with communication ...

a child who can speak and gather thoughts well is gathering info is listening is speaking of everything with this open door.


I quote Dr. Becky Bailey -
"How can I discipline my child?"
"Shift from seeking to create an "obedient" child to nurturing a productive member of your family and you will see a world of change in your young one. Conscious Discipline can teach you the skills you need to have the safe, happy life you dream of for your self and your family."



We produce a productive member of the family through communication.

stan
Posts: 658
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:41 pm

Post by stan » Wed Dec 26, 2007 3:59 pm

Thanks Deborah. Unlike a dog that learns obedience through fear of punishment the child learns to comply because the request was reasonable and reason tells him it is necessary to obey. It also prepares the child for others who will be set in authority over them. The child will also learn the skills needed in securing the obedience of others. If you have any other thoughts I would like to hear them from you. lol


Stan I disagree with your ideas on how a child learns.  A child learns through love, guidance, trial, error, ....

Obedience is such a harsh word when you are reflecting upon a child.

Proper training always guides a child.  


If I may ask do you have children?  What is your area of training?



Also are you a Christian .. if you are referring to the proverbs listing of to train a child .. if you look further in the biblical meaning it means to to Teach!



On a side note - if you have ever seen a child who was beaten down ... "abused"  to teach them is a hard job ......why? because you must get them to trust you first!



Dear Deborah, I hope you read kids better then you do me. Since you totaly disagree with the statements I made, please show the human element and take each statement and elaborate why you disagree, so that all can see. As for credentials, I think those who hold them should get a clean psychological bill of health. Thats what I think.  :smt003
Last edited by stan on Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Deborah
Posts: 1290
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:58 pm

Post by Deborah » Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:55 am

Stan I disagree with your ideas on how a child learns.  A child learns through love, guidance, trial, error, ....

Obedience is such a harsh word when you are reflecting upon a child.

Proper training always guides a child.  


If I may ask do you have children?  What is your area of training?

Deborah
Posts: 1290
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:58 pm

Post by Deborah » Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:59 am

Also are you a Christian .. if you are referring to the proverbs listing of to train a child .. if you look further in the biblical meaning it means to to Teach!



On a side note - if you have ever seen a child who was beaten down ... "abused"  to teach them is a hard job ......why? because you must get them to trust you first!

User avatar
Forest Of Mysteries
Posts: 57
Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2007 2:53 pm
Location: A forest near you....

Re: Discipline and Obedience

Post by Forest Of Mysteries » Fri Dec 28, 2007 7:36 pm

stan wrote:Discipline and Obedience are two subjects that are so vital and yet so tragically misunderstood by most of us, ?
One could apply them to the whole of the adult population too? The two words are quite unrelated, but without one would the other even exist?



if you step on a fallen branch does the tree still weep?

stan
Posts: 658
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:41 pm

Re: Discipline and Obedience

Post by stan » Fri Dec 28, 2007 8:41 pm

Forest Of Mysteries wrote:
stan wrote:Discipline and Obedience are two subjects that are so vital and yet so tragically misunderstood by most of us, ?
One could apply them to the whole of the adult population too? The two words are quite unrelated, but without one would the other even exist?



if you step on a fallen branch does the tree still weep?

Yes! One could apply this to the adult population as well! The  word obedience, seems to trigger a negative reaction in some, which reminds me of a story. The kids are at recess and having a blast and the teacher comes out and says, okay fun and games are over with it's time for math! What is that teacher communicating to those kids? That Teacher is conveying that math is no fun - unconsciously. Thank you for your insight. We all need to live more conscious lives.

Vivek Trivedi
Posts: 106
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:50 am
Location: India

Post by Vivek Trivedi » Sat Mar 24, 2012 4:45 am

These days the word discipline sounds very harsh to us,but to lead a proper life we are suppose to follow few rules and regulation in every places of our life.obeying  rules and regulation to stay under a disciplined life is obedience.it started from our school life to our last breath.

symulhaque
Posts: 1204
Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2013 3:41 pm

Post by symulhaque » Tue Jan 29, 2013 3:35 pm

Thank you for your nice post.

Post Reply

Return to “Family And Parenting”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests